-
TV Social
Login
Recent Comments
- itchy: Also, speaking personally, TVGasm has been HIGHLY DETRIMENTAL to my productivity. Fortunately I don’t have a...
- itchy: Well, if you people are willing to fly out here, then sure, beer’s on me. Although I gotta warn you, the...
- Chicken Lips: @RazzBeth – I saw something either here or...
- NatPatBen: I cannot go to the new site at my job. Here’s what it says: “This Websense category is filtered:...
- Dashley: Hey guys – if you’re still on this comment thread sobbing at your incredible loss, you’re...
- Derek Hazelton: @Flipit, FYI, the new site works at my job, but then again, I’m a low level unimportant employee...
- snowshoecat: Yay!!!!!!!!!!! Lookin’ gooooood! Will CommentTrash appear here and on the gasm site? Enquiring minds...
- Dani: @rae– O.M.G.!!! Give it a rest! I won’t repeat what others have already...
- Flipit: You’re not crazy, Claire! Some people are able to just click their pic, but for others it doesn’t show...
- Clair: I tried it (I’m on a computer) and while it took me to my profile page, I didn’t see any avatar option.
Hot Shows
-
Fresh Tweets!
Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
12:00 am
14 Comments
NotwithoutmyTV on “RHONYC-Reunion”: “I HATE Moracco now, and, as a product of America’s public school system, I don’t even know where Moracco IS. (But now I know that it’s poor, dirty, and the kind of place where your suitcases full of coke and prescription drugs aren’t safe.)
Itchy on “The Bachelorette”: “Also, I suspect the Evil AmyWinehouse Sister’s reaction to JP is probably easily explained by the Iron Cross tattoo over her pubes.”
Shana on “RHONJ”: “And I need some serious style intervention because I kinda liked Teresa’s china pattern. There is something wrong with me, I know, because that woman’s taste level makes “Hoarders; Buried Alive” crap look attractive–her taste is that shitty.”
NotwithoutmyTV on “RHONYC”: “Next reunion, they should hook all the Hos up to one of those shock machines, like in the family therapy episode of the Simpsons. They can all just shock each other silly when they go on the attack.”
2muchbravo on “Kim Kardashian’s Wedding Special: “The day I watch a Kardashian TV show is the day when my life is basically over.”
Itchy on “Big Brother”: “Dani’s getting cuter every episode. Is this just man-in-the-desert syndrome?”
Pokeybear on “Toddlers and Tiaras”: “Baylen’s name is hill-larry-us! Baylen is the membrane Humpback whales use to filter plankton….uglyass brat is bound to rule Whaledom from a throne in her trailer!“
JasonR on “Big Brother”: “Porsche already has a huge target on her back, HER ASS. Rim shot! I’ll be here all week. Tip your waiter. Try the veal.”
2muchbravo on “Chris Hansen Gets Caught Cheating Again!”: “But, I thought those Hanson brothers were so clean cut and good”.
FredFurpul on “Big Brother”: “My biggest disappointment of this season is that Dick walked out. I looked forward to reality slapping that smug look off his face this year. Of course, reality would need about a gallon of hand-sanitizer after slapping that slimy mug.”
Lilmommaj on “Toddlers and Tiaras”: “Is it just me, or was there a quite the montage of puking babies this episode? I feel like every time they showed the baby division, clean up on X number 2 was needed…”
Jimbob Jones on “Masterchef”: “This is the first reality show ever where I wanted the “crazy bitch” to win, but everyone else sucks so hard. Besides, I wanted a copy of her first book: “101 Ways to Cook Your Neighbor’s Dog Because the Damn Thing Keeps Yapping at Three in the Morning and Shooting Acid in Its Eyes Just Makes it Louder.”
Sardini on “The Challenge”: “I actually watched the entire Denver season recently On Demand because my social status in life has come to that.”
Vallegirl on “Creep Alert: McCreepy’s New Music Video”: “Where exactly is he performing? A family reunion? A bible camp? An AA meeting? A Christian key party? Family day on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew?”
Susanl on “RHONJ”: “Yet again, none of them are able to put on their own make-up. And what’s up with the black eye shadow? It makes Marty Feldman’s, uh I mean Kathy’s, eyes even bigger.”
Faye on “The Challenge”: “I just read on another website that Wes has been diagnosed with a case of the Zacs – his face look zactly like his ass.”
Emilyhartly on “Food Network Star”: “Granted, how many sandwich shows are there to be done.. but I’d watch his show until he runs out of ideas (Today: peanut Butter and Jelly on White bread With Sweaty Jeff).”
LAC on “Masterchef”: “For $87, Gordon Ramsey better be coming out to give a lap dance. Or, in my case, hire Taye Diggs to do one. Jaysu Christie!!”
Vallegirl on “True Blood”: “I’d forgotten about Bill in the first season. (As I try to forget about Bill in every season.) But I looked it up on the vampire wiki-canon page (because when dealing with an entirely made up world, it’s best to write things down).”
Jaycee on “Snooki: The Perfume?”: “It’ll smell like self-tanner, hairspray and Summer’s Eve with just a hint of vomit.”
BedHeadJen on “Toddlers and Tiaras”: “I hope little Emerald makes it as a dancer at the Octopussss club, where she can do the ‘flick a boogie’ for Allysons dad. I have also moved ‘making Allyson brown’ to the top of my prayer requests.”
Juddfan on “Project Runway”: “There’s some guy I’ve never seen before wearing a golf hat with a ball on top. Nutless is gonna find this person very offensive, I can tell you that.:
Elmstreet on “Teen Mom”: “Ryan has the look my mom calls “smackable”, meaning he’s got blank eyes and a curled lip just waiting to be smacked.”
Marijai on “Toddlers and Tiaras”: “When they find Isabella’s mother dead from a princess crown impaled through her eye, all Isabella will need to do is play this episode for the jury.”
Sarcasatire on “Big Brother”: “Isn’t it obvious, Kalia only won HOH for the food basket. Frosting, the great motivator.”
Vallegirl on “Project Runway”: “I think the guy you’ve never seen before might be named Viktor. Or Vincent. I’m not sure. I’ve never seen him before.”
Keebler elf on “Pretty Little Liars”: “I really dont know why im getting all personal with this..its just a tv show lol.“
Notwithoutmytv on “The Challenge”: “Evan may have gone to Cornell, but Teej has a graduation certificate from the “Living with Impairment after a Head Wound” workshop.”
Fan-Ann on “Toddlers and Tiaras”: “And poor Isabella. Her tushy, tushy, tushy, routine reminded me a how chimps at a zoo love to turn their backs on visitors. It’s lucky she didn’t throw something, if you know what I mean.”
Fan-Ann on “Bravo Doing A Live Housewives Tour”: “They’re going to need security like in The Blues Brothers or old westerns where they had chicken-wire strung up to protect the band.“
Cindy Murphy on “Kate Plus 8: Canceled”: “(cue Handel’s Messiah)“
Bobby John on “Masterchef”: “I honestly had a dream last night that I was on masterchef and Suzy was tickling my balls. It was great and had nothing to do with cooking.”
Classy Drunk on “Bad Girls Club”: “Why are my favorites this season the VooDoo doll and Judi’s purses?“
Jason on “RHONJ”: “All these ladies are the Rose Kennedys of Franklin Lakes. Just look at all the over-achievers they’ve spawned.”
Waffleboy on “TLC Cancels LA Ink”: “First Kate Plus 8 and now this. TLC may finally be clearing space out for their ultimate show, a one hour reality show about polygamous midget sharks. Fingers crossed everybody!”
Sarcasatire on “Basketball Wives”: “No wonder the girl travels with Vaseline..Tami is unpredictable. Meeka knows it’s best to take a beating that leaves no scars, than look matte yet dewy for the cameras. Who can blame her? Tami has a mean right hook.”
Jimbob Jones on “Hell’s Kitchen”: “Is it just me, or does Tommy remind anyone of Eddie, Chandler’s creepy roommate in Friends (played awesomely by Adam Goldberg)? I just keep expecting one of the other blue team to yell “He’s standing in the window holding a human head!!!”
Someguy on “Jersey Shore”: “That is great news about Roidboy and Samfaketan.Watching them fight and never get’s old.”
Dirty Sanchez on “Jersey Shore”: “Jersey Shore was gold in Season 1. Just a bunch of fun loving, mildly retarded kids out to have a good time.“
Classy Drunk on “Will Smith and Jada Pinkett: Separated”: “I wonder was Will telling his friends “Jada just don’t understand”.
Elmstreet on “Most Eligible Dallas”: “Courtney looks like Jenny McCarthy and a reticulated python had a baby.“
Dirty Sanchez on “Big Brother”: “Why grow a soul patch, I thought Jordan was your beard?“
Gypsy on “Most Eligible Dallas”: “No one on that show is 23 and, if they are I donate all of my organs immediately.“
Meemo on “Toddlers and Tiaras”: “That little brat looks like Winston Churchill. Just needs a well chewed cigar hanging from her pouty kisser.”
Pegster on “Ben Flajnik To Be The Next Bachelor”: “OMG! This is so excitizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..”
Captain Picard on “Ben Flajnik To Be The Next Bachelor”: “I’ve met pubic lice with more engaging personalities than this dude.”
Littlemalulu on “Project Runway”: “It seems like Tim has really been relegated to the background this season. Either that or I’ve just gotten so bored that I fall asleep a lot during the episodes and keep missing the parts where he shows up. (Sad, debonair, urbane, sophisticated horns.)“
Shantigal on “Most Eligible Dallas”: “I am so pleased to learn that the supply of vapid, horrid fame whores has not tanked along with the economy.”
Jimbob Jones on “Hell’s Kitchen”: “This group is taking care of the Humane Society and the Cancer Association? I wonder how many dogs now have cancer thanks to their incompetence.”
Whattafan on “Hair Battle Spectacular”: “Would LOVE to watch the episodes with you except I have been sober for 14 years…”
Chicken Lips on “Teen Mom”: “If I had to compare Farrah to a part of the human anatomy, I would have to go with a diva drag queen’s crotch.”
To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter or like our Facebook page! You can post your favorite lines right back at us. Thanks for being here!
TV Social
-
14 Comments
Gracias on the Taye Diggs picture!
Guess I’m not funny in the summer. Sad face.
I am enjoying the comments! However, in reading each month’s entries, I look for my name with great anticipation, only to see it’s not there. I haven’t been this disappointed since the last time I had sex with my ex-husband,
Clair, I wasn’t funny at all this year. I did so well in 2010, what went wrong? I blame the CAPTCHA code and laziness. You see, if I fucked up the code I just didn’t bother typing my comment again.
@ cosmonala, well that comment should get you in for December
@KittKatt, I think laziness got the best of me this year also. That and one of my new years resolutions was to dial back my smart assesness.
@Kittkatt and Classy, I’ve seen some funny stuff from you this year so you’ll probably be coming up soon.
I was in the first few months commentgasms, but not the last couple. I think that was around when I took a break from the gasm for a while. Hopefully, I’ll show up again later in the year when I came back.
@Classy D – you must have only dialed it down one notch, you’ve been aces all year. Turn it up in 2012. We can take it.
@kittkatt- I think you used all your good stuff feed capping Big Bro. There are some zingers in there.
I’ve resigned myself to never being on here, but I do hope that “not funny” doesn’t mean “annoying as hell”! I apologise to all of you if that’s the case.
I do believe kittkatt should get special mention (not to mention combat pay) for her work in the feedcaps thread.
Damn. Looks like I was only funny in April.
Just now getting all caught up. This is my favorite time of year on the ‘gasm. Thanks for doing this Bluzgirl and Flipit, I can’t believe that 2011 is over already!
@ NWMTV re: “Evan may have gone to Cornell, but Teej has a graduation certificate from the “Living with Impairment after a Head Wound” workshop.”
As a resident of Ithaca, where Cornell is located, I’d be remiss if I did not state here that Cornell students suck at many things. Like following traffic signs, holding their liquor, safety in numbers, and…bridges. Yeah, I went there.
I don’t even remember that comment but, I have to admit it was pretty good. I must’ve been on bitch mode that day.
OH Mah Gawd I MAAADE IT!!!! Under my actual name, but that’s OK!! I want to thank the Academy, Flipit, and most importantly Kate Gosselin for being such a self-important, arrogant excuse for a human incubator. I would jump around the room but it’s midnight and I’m too tired. Woohoo!