Commentgasm: Best in Comments 2011: September

Sheesh on “The Housewives Aren’t Welcome on DWTS”: “If ABC was smart they would get the housewives and/or their spouses on another one of their shows. Wipeout.  I want to see Vicki hanging from the dangler.”

Itchy on “Big Brother”: “Or maybe I’m a Dicklette supporter because she’s that damn hot. ‘Cause I’m deep and complex and intellectual that way. Oh yes.”

Mister_Dangerous on “Big Brother”: “You know, life isn’t always about winning. Sometimes it’s about “sticking it” to the people you hate.”

Bre on “Toddlers and Tiaras’: “Madison’s mom has a good head on her shoulders…RIGHT on her shoulders…WHERE THE HELL IS HER NECK?????????”

Chris Velazquez on “Project Runway”: “I’d personally lock these guys up in solitary confinement for an indefinite amount of time, but all together in the same room, and let them tear each other to shreds. Give them a few days to stew, and then throw in these judges and their sucky, inexplicable decisions and let them be torn up too.”

Dirty Sanchez on “We Have A New Bachelor”: “The guy brushed aside Jennifer Love Hewitt, I’m sure he’s going to on the Bachelor to fall in love with Madge from accounting.”

Judyjudy on “Toddlers and Tiaras”: “It is really sad when a three year old dressed up like a hooker and dancing in front of a hotel back-drop isn’t the worst thing about an episode.”

Timssister on “Project Runway”: “Joshua, Joan Crawford called – she wants her eyebrows back. And as to the diva attitude? Give that back too because she. will. not. have. it. And neither will I.“

Jon “Big Brother”: “What the hell did Adam say on exit? Hdhfgfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfjfkrkdkekscrcy ucgndcjg fcnnfbcjndvdghcfhdchfbhvjdtvyc Anthax RWARRRRR. Is what I heard.”

Elmstreet on “ANTM”: “The bright side of Nigel having hair is now I have something to grip in our fantasy trysts on the beach.”

Sarcasatire on “Project Runway”: “I don’t think Trinidad is a lesbian. I only say this because I saw a photo of her lips wrapped around some guy’s penis. Not because I know her or anything.”

Cattyfan on “Survivor”: “Where’s a Lisi faceplant when you need one…“

Deja Johnson on “Bad Girls Club”: “Angie was so bewildered that Tiara left a scar on her face, so appalled LOL. You two weren’t in a sewing circle, you were FIGHTING! Are you really from the Bronx?”

Classy Drunk on “Jersey Shore”: “I can safely say I have never danced my underwears off. That being said I am going to try to do that by the end of the year.”

Shana on “Dance Moms”: “All these pieces Jabby picks about abused children, suicide, kidnap and sins–are they a belated cry for help or something? I mean, jeez, what kind of sick, fucked up childhood did Jabby have?”

Viane Slice on “Top Chef:  Just Desserts”: “Financier is a type of teacake. When I hear this word I can’t help thinking it is the favorite snack of bankers. “I need $20 million to build this buidling – and here’s a teacake!” “The cake is yummy – therefore I approve the loan!”

Robinez on “Russell Armstrong’s Lawyer Claims Taylor is Lying”: “I had surgery on my left knee. The nurse told me to write the word “right” on my leg. I said “but that’s my left leg”, she said “yes, but it is the right one to operate on”. I said that that was kinda scary, they don’t read the chart? I told her I was going to write “wrong” on the rest of my limbs just in case…“

Xxoddettexx on “Vampire Diaries”: “Are you sick and tired of Damon being sick and tired?”

Jami on “Toddlers and Tiaras”: “Heavenly Father let this party popper go off. Did I hear this right? We are praying for party poppers now?“

Cattyfan on “DWTS”: “See, now if I was Bruno, I would say that Nancy’s dance was more ta-tas than cha-chas.”

Jimbob Jones on “Holly Madison Insured Her Boobs For A Million Dollars”: “The strange thing is, she insured the left one for $750,000, and the right one for only $250,000.”

Robinez on “Kelly Clarkson:  I’m Not Gay”: “5 things I have learned about Kelly Clarkson: She needs to do some sit ups.  She thinks that making out with a girl automatically makes you gay.  She thinks that boys care about her songs.  She needs to wear shoes because she has ugly feet.  She is lucky that she is getting any attention at all because of that stupid statement.”

Fan-Ann on “DWTS”: “My husband was considering the possibility that our favorite college football team might have a dismal season. He said “normally that would depress the shit out of me, but I saw Nancy Grace’s nipple this week, and am now immune to other horrors.”