Commentgasm: Best in Comments 2012: September

***Madelyne chooses her faves from Sept! Enjoy!

Gigi on Toddlers and Tiaras: I still see Amber Portwood every time I look at destiny. Except smiling and not all mugshotty

 

TalldrinkofH2O on Project Runway: OMG!! Your screen shot of Unibrow and his pee stain – priceless!! And gross. I’m sure that I’m not alone in not having seen that during the actual show. Guess he never heard the ole maxim of “Shake twice.”

 

mere2142 on Big Brother: Can we talk about how dumb Shane is for a second? Did you see him in the veto competition? He never got past the first 12″ of the maze! Even Danielle was able to get at least halfway thru it. Every time the camera panned out there was Shane still at the beginning of the thing! Let’s hope he was throwing it….

considerthis on Big Brother: Ian’s nipples are like Hershey Kisses in both color and form (cannot comment on content).

 

2muchbravo on Top Chef Masters: Was sorry to see Patricia and her mole go. Sad horns.

 

 

Echo on Big Brother: Did anyone else notice that Ashley forgot to use a verb in her BB Dream Board? “Congrats. You the Head of Household.” Sigh.

classy drunk on Dance Moms: Any time a 90210 reference in used in a recap it’s a win for us all.

 

hot cawfee on Breaking Amish: Shunning???– come on kids— In Cawfee’s childhood home it was called “the silent treatment”. I have had it manys the time– ya ride it out.

jackie on The Voice: I want to have adam give me the death stare. or sexy, smoldering stare as i like to refer to it. in bed.

 

andyourlittledogtoo on RHONJ: Gawd. Then the last thing they should be doing is teaching Milania to read!

 

Derek Hazelton on Basketball Wives LA: But does anyone understand what an “urban model” actually is? Is there a such thing as a “rural model?” Or, as you mentioned above, that was just code for porn star?

 

sagittariuskim on Honey Boo Boo: @Plath vodka gummy bears are just gummy bears that have been soaked in vodka. You soaked the bears in vodka for a few days and they absorb it. The longer they soak the more vodka they suck up.

Margaret: *running to the store to pick up some gummy bears and vodka*

 

realhousewivesfan on X Factor:The Last pitchy bitch is just a Rihanna Big headed chubby copy cat, I bet she idolizes her. Anyway i Loved the Hallelujah guy!! Fav so far in the competition, my least is the born this way black transgender/gay male in a weeding dress to make the community look bad.

 

crankyguy on Big Brother: @TinkerbellAPixie, I totally agree re Ian. A nerd with a big head and an attitude is hard to take. I don’t think we’re allowed to stuff them in lockers anymore, and that’s a shame.

 

caligal on RHONY: Loved Sonja this episode. I wanted to take Aviva and one of her peg legs and shove it down her throat. SHUT UP!!! But I know that she can’t because, *sniff* she got on a PLANE with her HUSBAND that could have CRASHED into the OCEAN, and then what about the CHILDREN? Because it’s NOT about AVIVA, it’s about the CHILDREN!!!

kthxbai: They should get a do over trip. To somewhere good. Maybe Nuku’alofa or Kerala. Or Daytona Beach. And invite all the Gallery Girls so they can mentor them. About how to get prepared for their destiny as Real Housewives of Season 24. And to quit letting Eli give them walks in the bathroom gardens of night clubs.

 

considerthis on Real World: PETA has already begun launching a secret operative in the V.I. where they will abduct Swift put him in a box take him BACK to Hassel Island force him to watch gay porn while being bound up in a sweaty, cum stained comforter and jumped on by a howler monkey. Exactly how it went down for those poor chickens.

 

cloudsinmycoffee on RHOM: Elsa creeps me the fuck out. Her maid singing her to sleep (or calm or whatever) was slightly disturbing, and while everyone thinks she’s awesome I think she’s a leech onto her pathetic face-slowly-into-mother’s-face-Marysol. Ghost of future present for Marysol!

 

chaosbutterfly on The Voice: Domo worked my nerves too.
Her voice, her ratchet outfit, her Domo chant which wasted my life, her bragging…everything was annoying as hell. I also call shenanigans on her Lady Gaga status in China, because if she was that famous there, she would be there making money right now. Not on The Voice, making a damn fool of herself. I really liked the stoner guy and Nicole.

 

rubinia on Face Off:“it was like watching a unicorn be born from a butt. ”

Just died laughing. I agree though…I was all “Oooh, honey, just wear that costume…”

 

Bitchylady on Honey Boo Boo: As the mother to an (almost) teenage daughter who was the cutest, sweetest, most lovable little girl ever, I can say withcertainty that teenage girls are the devils spawn. My friends with older children tell me that she will eventually be normal again, but right now I keep waiting for her head to spin around and green goo to spew from her mouth. Just opening my mouth to say something completely innocent to her starts the eyerolling, foot stomping, smart mouth talking alien who has overtaken my child’s body. Every injustice she feels in life (and believe me, there are a TON apparently) is my fault. I would like my little princess back please.

 

 

KJN on Honey BooBoo: I was a total horror as a kid/teenager. My dad used to try to put a future curse on me, saying “I hope your kid is exactly like you!”. Well, I did have a daughter, and she was a easy, happy baby. Then she was a good little toddler/kid. Then she was a fairly reasonable pre-teen. Then an incredibly good teenager. Now, she’s 20 and a junior in college. Guess what? Still awesome! Ha, suck it , Dad! Just kidding, I love my parents and I am sorry I was such a little beast. It’s just when you’re a kid/teen, you just can’t seem to help yourself. I couldn’t, anyway.

 

 

kloewent on The Voice: Did anyone catch the look from Blake when Christina said her patronizing “how cute” about the pig farm, it was total “You are a complete asshole thinking there is anything cute about a pig farm!!” What a twit. I bet that guy could do the pig call really good with that high voice!

 

featherhead on ANTM: Locust butt? That’s a new one! I’m going to try to work it a conversation, lol. Victoria works my nerves. I can see crying cause you miss your mom at the end of a conversation, but that bitch is sobbing as she dials the phone. She needs therepy.

 

wow on RHONJ: Totally agree with you Eyediosmio – I’m as far from a Teresa fan as possible but I don’t think she was the mastermind, I mean first of all that would require her to have a mind, but besides that I think Teresa’s lack of intelligence, delusion and inability to articulate really did her in here. I believe she absolutely was thrilled inside that Melissa may be exposed as a “dancer” without her having to do the actual exposing and so she helped it along and stupidly didn’t see that this could get turned around on her because in her warped mind she still thinks she’s presenting thisbelievable facade of wanting to get along and make peace with Melissa. In addition, once she saw things swinging towards her being the bad guy, she got defensive, as usual because she has no ability to defend herself without attacking others. I too HATE the apparent producer interference, haven’t the past seasons proved that these idiots will eventually find something to hate each other for without the meddling?

 

KeKe on RHONJ:@LaurenB52 I saw both. Someone said after Teresa posted the whole convo, Jac deleted the ones she posted. I thought it was funny when Teresa said it was basically just a one-sided convo Jac was having with herself. The messages make Jac seem a bit unstable. I thought it was a low when she remarked that Gabriella looks a lot like Teresa’s ex.
What’s funny about it was that she said that comment was made because Teresa said baby Joey doesn’t look like her brother. It’s like you said, she keeps inserting herself into the Gorga family drama.

 

KatieKitty24 on Dance Moms: In that picture of Cathy and Vivi, Vivi totally looks like a ventriloquist dummy! That poor little girl…

 

MisRed on Dance Moms: I thought Vivi looked a little less “unfortunate” at the reunion. Of course, it could have been the tranny lashes and 8 inches of grout Cathy slathered on her poor little hostage face… I agree. FREE VIVI

 

LastCall on RHONY: I hope Ramonja attends that body-parts-for-Heather fashion show and kicks Pegleg Pete’s pied faux out from under her on the runway. That’d make this whole irritating season worth watching for me. It looks like Ramona is finally gonna lose it in the last episode. Oh well, she held it together (mostly) for a lot longer than I would have expected. The reunion could be fun anyway.

 

fancyface on RHONY:@kthxbai…IKR?!? I mean WHAT is with these bitches? She went to VASSAR FFS! She speaks several languages & understands EVERYTHING! Why aren’t they listening to her & running to kiss her ring??? Pfff…White Trash Whores!

@Amy….*wipes forehead sweat* I thought I was alone in the falling off the Carole bandwagon club. I loved her when she first came on, but I can’t understand her taking up for Adiva or siding with Horny. WTH is that about? She really is coming off as a self righteous piece of work! OVER HER! lol

 

bubblesballentine  on America’s Next Top Model:Laura, you clueless princess, there is no ‘supportive friend’ category in Kristin’s world. She’s gonna have your vacuous ass for lunch.

 

vallegirl: Going further down my TV shame spiral, her father is John James AKA Jeff Colby from Dynasty and later Jeff Martin on All My Children. Now I’ll go ponder what exactly have I done with my life.

 

itchy on ANTM: So people really do walk around saying this? Like, “hmm, I wonder what’s happening on the social media today?” or, “Man, I got wasted last night and made an ass of myself on the social media”?

 

AmyOops on ANTM: For the love of all that’s holy (good reality TV) why the fuck does Sneering-Creepy-Fake-Sounding-Accent-Yes-We-KNOW-You-Are-A-Damn-Model-Too-Dude have to be in every single GD shoot with his mothe..uh..lov…um..BOSS?

 

alicecarroll13 on Breaking Amish:The learning channel should be ashamed of them selfs..putting fake amish people on tv or people that were amish 15 years ago..these amish chicks over the last 10 years have bared more skin then a date with paris hilton..theres photos of them on the internet..and these guys..holy sweet jesus and the pope……………they have markings and ear rings in places other then their ears..over all these people are more sexual and wild then the people in new york……..at lest tlc could have done was find real amish who leave for real…!!!
next thing we’ll be finding out is honey boo boo really lives in beverly hills and the duggers are satan worshipers….

 

Karen on RHONJ: May I just say I called this a long time ago..Tre does NOT write her own blog .At the Reunion!
Lauren asks Tre is she writes her own Bravo blog (of course Tre says yes) and then challenges her on it. Lauren has made flash cards using big words from the blog and asks Tre the definition of these words. Teresa has no clue!
Apparently Tre’s blog is as fake as her marriage, which is as fake as her denials of bad behavior are!

 

pradaliz731 aka LAL on RHONJ: Since when does Caroline hug Joe Gorga so much? At the end, she finally got her way and everyone hates Theresa and of course Lauren who is still breastfeeding is right beside her!! Now that Albie is single again which I am sure she wanted to get as far away from Caroline Albie and Chrikopher can move back home.

 

realitytvjunkie on RHONJ: @ Karen – I remember in an earlier season Lauren didn’t know what “democracy” meant, so I’m not sure I’m trusting that she would know what any of those words meant either, lol. Those Manzo kids can’t do anything w/o looking over at mommy first. The boys are panty wastes and Lauren is just bitter, bitter, bitter and cranky.

 

Dawn on RHONJ: I’m not sure why anyone would be on Tre’s side at all. She’s getting back exactly what she did to Danielle – being a total bitch, lining everyone up against her, and everybody loved it. Now people are squawking tha Bravo set up poor Teresa.

She’s a stupid, mean twat who I believe was TOTALLY in on the setup. She panicked when it didn’t go down like she wanted. Melissa did not start screaming and flailing, and the other Housewives did not throw up their hands in horror that she might have a “past.” Joe didn’t throw her aside in disgust – he came to her defense, and Tre tried to run away and deny it all.

She’s an evil viper. Her 15 minutes will be up soon, her cheating Neanderthal of a husband will be in jail, and she’ll have to do a real tapdance to support her talentless, loudmouthed brood.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer bitch.

gretchenbarney on RHOM:Leah was a juror in the William Kennedy Smith rape trial. The one where her husband leaked every detail of the woman’s sexual history to the media (the rape shield laws only protect her in the courtroom). Last season, she and her husband had a party for Joe Francis – the convicted rapist of Girls Gone Wild fame – when he got out of jail. I just can’t find Leah to be entertaining because that’s all I can think of.

 

Polk8dot on RHOM: 1. Joanna – still an asshole; and Marta just as big one. They really are 2 peaches, aren’t they?
2. Karen(T) – first I thought she was just turning a blind eye to the whole Rodolpho situation, but now I’m convinced she is just simply DELUSIONAL!
3. Adriana – can’t even imagine what her beef is, but she definitely seems to be seriously f-ed up. Her whole relationship with Frederic is a head scratcher.
4. Lisa – no way she’s “trying to get pregnant for 3 years”. The husband probably thinks they are, but I bet she is still secretly on the pill, pretending not to be able to conceive. She is SOOOOOO F-ing VAIN that there is no way she’d ever let her figure get messed up for 9! months (hello, shades of Shlemille). I bet by the end of the season we will be hearing of the surrogate search. Also, their whole marriage is hilarious since I’d bet my left hand he is gay; SMH.
Finally, I read that she’s supposed to be only 27 years old! That’s impossible, right? With the amount of work she’s already had done she looks at least like a well maintained late 30′s /early 40′s to me.
5. Marysol – Oy. I DO like her, but she’s such a train wreck it breaks my heart how unhappy she seems.
6. Ana – like her a lot; she just needs to grow into her part on this show. I bet in real life she it tough, thoughtful and independent, but here she comes across as insecure, completely co-dependent on her ex, and a pushover. Can’t wait for her to blossom, and mete out some much needed reality checks (looking at you Karen(T)).

It is SUCH A PLEASURE to finally watch some women who have had an education, are truly successful in life and business, are seriously financially the 1%-ers, and still KNOW HOW TO ENJOY IT ALL. After the bred-in stupidity; complete lack of any intellectual curiosity; empty faux-facades of financial success; and moral and fiscal bancruptcy on RHONJ and RHOC, I love to be able to listen to their conversations without my ears bleeding.

 

Jason on RHOM: I just wanna see more of Romain – clothed, semi-naked, or completely naked, hairy junk and all. The rest of the botox’d, delusional airheads, not so much.

 

TinkerbellAPixie on Survivor: Russell’s look drives me to distraction in a purely negative way. Having long stupid hair does not disguise the fact that your hairline is receding. Neither does painting that large bald forehead white mask what’s going on underneath. I really wanted him to go. Damn you Zane you evil genius. lol

Michael needs a helmet, some gloves and elbow and knee pads. The guy is just one big walking accident and makes me nervous. I like him but can’t handle watching him get another big injury. He’s like that knight from Monty Python. Or maybe more like OJ Simpson from the Naked Gun movies.

 

itchy on Survivor: The big problem with RC Banker is that her head is smaller than her tits.

 

sagittariuskim on Honey Boo Boo: Pregnancy has got to be one of the most contradictory things ever. I have never heard something called awful and amazing in the same breath as much as pregnancy. I think it’s nothing but awfulness. I don’t see how people do it. I find the thought of having something growing inside me disturbing.

The sketti thing was gross, but not as gross a the peeing on the couch.

 

crankyguy on Honey Boo Boo:  @TurtleGirl93, I know what THAT Moon Pie is and I have actually eaten one. They are not bad as that sort of thing goes. Fancyface gave me a hint about what June meant when she said “moon pie,” but I thought that was a “biscuit.” Is a moon pie and biscuit the same thing in June-speak? This is getting confusing.