Commentgasm: Best in Comments: November

Pickle on “RHOBH”: “I bet Twitch was talking to an actual mailbox when Mr. Toad walked up and asked if he could have some of her fun nose candy…ahh, love at first overdose.”

Considerthis on “E! To Add More Repeats Of The Kardashian Wedding”: “E has also added the Joe Theisman leg snapping special, Katria news footage reunion, and the Cloris Leechman OBGYN exam footage to their play rotation.”

LAC on “Lisa Vanderpump Is The Next Housewife To Drop A Single”: “Join me and others in the fight to stop reality ‘hos from discovering auto-tune. Together, we can find a cure for assinitis.”

Gilty Plezzur on “Millionaire Matchmaker”: “I really need to do something better with my time than watch this thing–like take up self-mutilation. Glass-eating, maybe?”

Sarcasatire on “Jersey Shore”: “Every time I see Deena on screen I want to yell,‘Danny DeVito, I love your work!’”

Derek Hazelton on “The X Factor”: “I guess I don’t mind Steve Jones; I’d much rather Nicole get swallowed up, regurgitated, and flushed down Simon’s toilet.”

PlathAddict on “Desperate Housewives”: “And, unless Carlos is going to end up seeking naked comfort in Mike’s arms, I have absolutely no interest in this “Carlos is an Alcoholic” storyline.”

LAC on “RHOA”: “I am waiting for the southern burial traditions that Phaedra will be letting us in on. “In the south, we always bury our folks who were dancers with one foot in the air. That way, they will be coming into the Lord’s house ready to dance. And we have a sip and see of the casket.”

Wilma Fengherdu on “Smell The Scent Of Snooki”: “A yeasty blend, combining the tang of stale Jagermeister, the earthy heat of thong skidmarks, and the heady musk of dried Man-chowder…experience “Aw De Snooki” at a Dollar General near you!”

Timssister on “American Horror Story”: “So many questions……so few men.  Or something.”

Captain save-uh-hoe on “Justin Bieber Will Take A DNA Test”: “Good grief, what is happening to me? Why am I posting on a Justin Bieber story? I’ll blame the cheap wine!!”

Bluesman on “Survivor”: “Does anyone else wish “go to rocks” meant they hurl them at each other?”

Dallasboo on “Woah, Baby 20 On The Way For The Duggars”: “It’s a uterus…..not a clown car.”

Mister_Dangerous on “The Amazing Race”: “Sailboat Dad still has it going on. I know he’s sexist, a misogynist, a bad parent and mean spirited but as I’ve said before, “nobody’s perfect.”

Clair on “Desperate Housewives”: “Dear Ben,  Botox looks STUPID on men. Knock it off. And please remove your shirt.”

Kthxbai on “RHOA”: “I totally mixed up their baby daddys! This is so embarrassing.  I bet people all over the internet are shaking their heads right now and saying even with all my yrs of experience I just don’t have what it takes to be a television viewer.”

Vegtastic on “RHOA”: “I want to get into a fight so I can yell, “I’m rich” right in the middle of it.”

Itchy on “Survivor Contestant Whitney Duncan Is Married”: “This is all part of the christianity’s viral marketing strategy. Now, any time I see a cross, I immediately visualize her small but perky breasts. And then I hear her voice hissing out the words: “You disgust me.”  And then I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

Cattyfan on “Revenge”: “Revenge is a show best served with cocktails…”

Germgurl on “The X Factor”: “Do they really think their ‘Judges choice’ has me on the edge of my seat, biting my nails and praise the excitement of television????”

Shantigal on “Top Chef”: “And speaking of pussies, whether Limphawk can cook or not, he must go in one of the early rounds. I cannot be held responsible for seeking him out, pinning him to ground weilding battery powered clippers to finally rid him of that Ukranian Power Bush atop his wee head.”

Cattyfan on “The Walking Dead”: “Let’s combine this show with a dying soap, and make it The Dead and The Restless!”

Classy Drunk on “RHOBH”: “I appreciate a genuine bitch. I always have and I always will.”

Chaosbutterfly on “Team Mom 2 Season 2 Trailer”: “Ahh I cannot wait.  I really want to know what’s happening with Leah and Corey.  It’s embarrassing that I just said that.”

Timgunnssister on “Project Accessory”: “I just couldn’t take another minute of those crazy eyes (when my dog looks at me like that, it’s time to let him out in the yard).”

Jerseyj on “Real World”: “I think Zach and Ashley should have been kicked off halfway through this season for being incredibly boring. Production should have planted drugs in their stuff or something…”

Slumrville on “Hawaii Five-O”: “I know it’s a huge joke with this show, but I’d seriously consider flying to Hawaii and committing a felony just to be on the receiving end of a McG Flying Takedown ™.”

Faye on “Top Chef”: “WTH is up with my spelling?!?! Fluor is an engineering company in Texas not a tortilla … backt to nail skool for me.”

Indigo on “ANTM”: “We get it, you are from the ghetto, slept under a bus or something, and more than likely slapped cocks with a hobo or two. No one cares.”

Myrnatyrna on “Top Chef”: “How fun would it be to have Samuel Jackson as a guest judge on Top Chef??? He could point a loaded pastry bag at the contestants and lay down some serious Pulp Fictionesque critique. (”And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers…WITH OVERCOOKED SHRIMP!”)”

Nestofvipers on “Work of Art”: “Also, I would love to slap Lola in her stupid face with a tiger penis.”

NotwithoutmyTV on “Trashback:  Blade”: “Twilight WILL end someday, won’t it? Stephanie Whatsherpussy has stopped shitting out those books, hasn’t she?”

LAC on “RHOA”: “Kim – yes, hearing you pee and talk about peeing was fascinating. At least it didn’t require auto tune to make it bearable.”

Gerritv on “Survivor”: “I’m still wondering what that guy with the handlebar moustache and cowboy hat (Ricky Ticky Taffy?),does? It’s like he’s the lighting guy that they stick in there to fill out crowd scenes.”

Mister_Dangerous on “Survivor”: “I want the next immunity challenge to center around hitting OZZY in the nuts with a coconut.”

Notwithoutmytv on “RHOBH”: “So, Failor’s emaciated, undernourished little boobs should still be capable of Spontaneous Nipple Erections (SNES). Unless Russel broke her nipples’ spirit before, too, before he shuffled off to Buffalo.”

2hyper on “RHOBH”: “While watching the ladies discuss the proverbial elephant in the room, Taylor’s abusive marriage, it struck me there is still an even bigger elephant in the room that no one is discussing: Did Camille lose her eyebrows in the divorce too?”

Gerritv on “Sesame Street Music Composer Arrested For Child Pornography”: “A pervert is a person in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood — in – your – n e i g h b o r h o o d. . .”

Jason on “RHOA”: “Kim and Kroy are basically the same person. Kim is just Kroy with a cheap-ass wig and a bigger dick.”

Jaycee on “Biebs Sample is Negative, But They Want More”: “It’s not a credibility issue. They want enough sample to create an army of Biebers.”

Itchy on “Commercialgasm:  Forever Lazy”: “It’s a Sneed! A Sneed is a thing most everyone Needs!”.

Chaosbutterfly on “DWTS”: “Nothing to say about Rob, except for that I’m sure he will miss Karrie Ann creeping into his bed at night and touching him inappropriately.”

Spinal11 on “The Walking Dead”: “And is it just me, or did Sophia look kind of cute as a zombie? I felt the same way about the little girl who took a headshot from Rick in Ep 1. I know I’m supposed to shoot them, but can I just hug them first? I know, I wouldn’t survive long.”

LAC on “Commercialgasm:  Forever Lazy”: “I can see where maybe you want to lie around inside your house marinating in your own juices in a onesie. But walk outside with it on?”

Kczar on “Sister Wives”: “Although these people really need to change their diets to start seeing better results. I say as I have another donut…”

Woosterek on “Commercialgasm:  LittleMissMatched”: “I don’t get it. Why THREE socks in a package? There will always be 2 dirty socks and 1 clean sock. Uneven numbers of anything make me anxious. Just thinking about the laundry logistics makes me twitch like Kim Richards.”

Hypnotoad on “Love Daniel Craig For Calling The K’s F**king Idiots”: “The only way that could have possibly been more awesome is if he’d said it while he was naked. And on top of me.”

LAC on “Top Chef”: “Well, the breast milk might explain why Borverly cries at sunrises, sunsets, puppy dogs, the close of the Dow, etc… maybe some post partum (sp) moodiness.”

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