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Friday, December 21, 2012
7:00 am
43 Comments
***Luscious and Alejandra team up to bring you the best in May’s comments. It was one long and crazy month!
FancyFace on The Real Housewives of New Jersey: You can see that all he wants in return for the things he does for her is love, gratitude, and attention. Oh yeah, and a “poison” receptacle.
Crankyguy on Tonight’s Top 10 Shows May 1: Those hedgehogs look like hairy eggs with a face. I want one.
DazzyFresh on Bad Girls Club: What a shitfest. I only read your recaps, because my eyes are sensitive to skank.
Ash1 on Toddlers & Tiaras: I’d buy that bridge, but then I’d have to evict all the former child pageant queens living under it with their pimps, so, no thanks!
GiltyPlezzur on Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding: Crows would commit Hari Kiri if they found that woman standing in a cornfield! Is that what is meant by hatchet-faced?
Musicleader on Celebrity Apprentice: Size 4 be damned. Let’s call it a size 8 packed in a sausage casing and be done with it OK?
Parisi LaRoe on Camille Grammer Will Be Back On Beverly Hills (watercooler): She is my favorite asshole. It is lucky she is endearing. I can’t even hate her because she is the best asshole ever.
kthxbai on the Shahs of Sunset: I think this show might be my fault. Because 1 time I said I didn’t see how Bravo could get any trashier than Real Housewives.
Notwithoutmytv on TVgasm Investigates: Being Kim Zolciak: Her mouth wraps around to the side of her head! Dental assistants call in back-up when she goes for a cleaning!
Flipit on Watch What Crappens Podcast #15 (Live): I should never be forced to sit still for that long fully clothed. I turn into a total asshole.
Merry on Eden’s World: All I can think is that the pounds of makeup slapped on the poor kid fooled viewers into thinking they were watching outtakes of Ru Paul’s Drag Race.
Chicken Lips on Toddlers & Tiaras: You’re right. I’m the dumb one on a site that attracts crazy pageant mothers with the grammar and spelling skills of drunk chimpanzees.
KartofflMuter on Celebrity Apprentice: Some people simply do not suffer fools. We do stand-up instead. Or-in my case-sit-down,if I haven’t had enough Vicodin.
Pageant-grandma on Toddlers & Tiaras: If you can’t laugh at yourself… Well… Crabby probably will.
chaosbutterfly on Tough Love New Orleans: What he does now is the equivalent of sending some fat, juicy, blind, deaf, dumb and legless sheep into the African savannah all by themselves. How are they supposed to survive that?
bluedog on Toddlers and Tiaras: I judge cheer and dance competitions here in Australia and points are taken off if the outfit tops don’t come to the hips and also for “showboating”. You would call it “facials”.
chaosbutterfly on Lifetime’s New Logo: I don’t know who’s driving the bus over there at lifetime, but Jesus clearly needs to take the wheel.
TV Social
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43 Comments
I’m trying to remember if I was posting these at work or at home.
I’m praying I was at home because I would have to wonder if I am secretly drinking at work.
@snowshoecat: on Real Housewives of New Jersey: Fun fact: Gorja is the term Gypsys use for slutty non-Gypsy girls, as opposed to slutty Gypsy girls … I am, of course, not referring to our own Gypsy.
Why thank you @SSC, I do appreciate you not calling me a slut, SLUT PIG, a COCK, an ASSHOLE, A LABIA or a BITCH with INSURANCE either! XOXO
Holy fuckballs, Page 7 is like they tried to hold back the commentgasm and then suddenly bore down and PUSHED, and out they all spewed… I LOVE IT!
love, J-Mo
@Gypsy, you are sooooooooooooo welcome.
You are also not a Conniving, Untrustworthy, Nasty, Troublemaker either.
XOXOXOXO
Flipit, many of us have whined that we really preferred having the posts all on one page. The reason is illustrated on pages 3 and 4 separating Simon’s picture from my comment about it.
Kinda loses something in the translation.
Thank you for your kind attention, oh fearless Leader. Now back to reading and laughing. Thank goodness I am using my patented Computer Keyboard SpitShield.
Happy birthday to me! I made tvgasm history again.
I know it’s a huge undertaking to do these but I so love reading them!
Happy Birthday Mere!
I hate to be picky but it’s – Idiots Out Wandering Around. Idiots don’t wander about – that is too high brow.
Mere happy b-day and congrats.
YAY Mere!!!!! Happy b-day—passing champs and cup-cakes. Holy Cow– we are a very funny group zallllll I am sayin’. I am laughing all over again—-great to read these b/c some of the shows I dont watch–and the comments are still funny!!!!!!
Yay, I was funny once so far this year. And I’m perfectly happy with that, nothing I said this year top my fancy pedophile comment. That Candass or whoever it was( these pageant moms blend together after a while), really brought the best out of all of us.
Happy Birthday Mere! The world not ending must be the best present ever.
@Cranky – “Those hedgehogs look like hairy eggs with a face. I want one.”
When I read this, the first thing to pop into my head was “Hedgehogs, don’t you mean ‘Snooki’?”
I finally made it! Twice!!!! Yay me.
@sagittariuskim: Oh, damn! I’d forgotten all about Candass, too. Good times. Good times.
Page 7 really was a “beautiful spew”, as J-Mo pointed out. Thanks for letting me be a part of it, Alejandra and Luscious
ok, I swear I posted a comment earlier…they keep getting eaten!!
@bedheadjen-flippers and pimp cups! LOL girl!
Happy Birthday Mere!
Oh and Jho comments 2 days in a row! woo
thisbugg – In May many people were complaining about missing comments as the site was rebooted. Seeing your comment brought the memories alive again! Yay for flashbacks and cyber fuckery.
Happy Birthday, Mere!
I tell ya, nothing is more gratifying than a commentgasm mention. I smile, I cheer, I swell up with pride. I’d take a bow to an empty room but this chair is sooooooooo comfortable.
Side note: Remember when captcha was just a word or two? Now we’re writing mission statements just to post one-liners. Captcha codes are longer than the original post. lol
I love reliving all the T&T craziness! It’s like the perfect Christmas gift.
Captcha will now make it hard for pagaent moms to visit. Aw man..there went 2013.
@Sheesh, oh nooooooooooooooooooo!! Best part of the fun is often the delusinea defending their young. Before eating them, I have often noted.
Happy birthday Mere. What a wonderful way to celebrate.
Happy Birthday Mere! What a great way to be honored on your birthday! Snarky comments about unsuspecting people.
My captcha code had punctuation….
My need for more Jennifer Slowpez is equal to Bruce Dickenson’s need for more cowbell! Batshit crazy never gets old.
@Clair-You’re ‘playing favorites’ comment is one of my all time favs! Happy Birthday Mere
Awesome set of comments, as usual.
Just 4 more months, and I break my last year total of being in 8 of the 12 months.
I’m not too proud of most of my comments though — they’re chuckle-worthy, but not exactly hilarious. Then again, June/July is when Masterchef and Hell’s Kitchen came on, and for those I act SUPER-botarded. So I think I’m good those months.
Actually, should we have a vote for “comment section of the year”? Because I would totally put the Masterchef 200+ comment thread up, and the CandASS thread from T&T (if that was this year — I think it was). Both of those devolved into awesome, awesome spectacles.
Actually, should we have a vote for “comment section of the year”? Because I would totally put the Masterchef 200+ comment thread up, and the CandASS thread from T&T (if that was this year — I think it was). Both of those devolved into awesome, awesome spectacles.
Yess the 200+ thread on Master Chef was hilarious.
I would also like to nominate that thread from the Newsgasm about Lance Armstrong getting his Tour de France titles stripped from him.
That one had tears streaming down my face.
Wow. I made it AGAIN. I AM awesome.
Back to reading.
<>
Oh. my. God. I am stealing this.
Note to self: Do not comment at 1 AM when half-asleep and sober…please ignore comment 26…
Clair on Toddlers & Tiaras: My dad had a favorite child, and it wasn’t me. It didn’t bother me too much because I had a favorite parent, and it wasn’t him.
I am stealing this…..
I remember the 100+ comment thread from the beginning of the most recent season of Survivor. Any time there’s overt Christianity, the mention of hot sauce, and the bootee speaking in tongues, you know the Comments section is going to blow up.
Yay! I finally made it! Of course it was at poor, puffy Xtina’s expense.
I was so excited my husband congratulated me!
Yay I got two on this month! I am so happy!
@ssc – you’re so right! I wonder how many pageant moms have tried to post and gave up out of frustration??
@Linda, sadly we will never know.
Thanks for the bdaycwishes…glad we all survived the supposed end of the world. Now we can be funny for another year!
Looking at some of these insane threads, we need to have another vote for “Poster of the Year”
My nomination: KartofflMuter
Half of those threads that devolved into insanity simply because of the “insanity wick” that is KM.
@Jimbob, you crafty devil! You’re just baiting KM to get her here with one of her insanely entertaining rants.
We’re on to you.
Hope it works.
Happy… Um… Whatever, KM.
Please don’t feed peanuts to the monkey! Her posts make my head explode. Really. It’s a mess to clean up and I don’t know how many more heads I have left.
@linda – LOL (seriously. I never type that if I don’t actually laugh). I hate her posts, too. But they always seem to bring out the best/worst in all of us. She’s like a snark lightning-rod or something — you don’t pay attention to the rod, you just want to see all the lightning that happens around it.
OK, so how about “Best Poster” and “Most Infamous Poster”?
Best for me would be a toss-up between notwithoutmytv, sarcastire, and itchy. (Depending on the day and who gives me the most money).
Most Infamous would have to go to KM — nobody has stirred up more s*** than she has (even though I think the T&T threads are a bit more insane, KM wins on longevity, and her ability to turn any topic into a “fun” one).
I agree wholeheartedly with your nominations, Jimbob. I would also like to add a nomination of my own. “Poster most likely to enter into a prolonged religious/political debate” – I’d say it’s a tie between itchy and crankyguy.
@JimbobJones, BRILLIANT!
I agree KM for most infamous and inciting the most comment wars/riots on the site which made my 2012 on the Gasm so amazing in so many ways
Might I add Sheesh to the list of nominees for the one liners and zingers and outrageously funny humor?!?
We should take a vote after the December on commenters of the year….just an idea @flipit.
Aw thanks Gypsy…that is so nice…
Hooray, I made it on this one! I have ABSOLUTELY no clue what I was talking to MaryEdith and Vallegirl about. Is Baskerville a cat?
So honored to be on the list, thanks Guys!!!