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***Luscious and Alejandra team up to bring you the best in May’s comments. It was one long and crazy month!
FancyFace on The Real Housewives of New Jersey: You can see that all he wants in return for the things he does for her is love, gratitude, and attention. Oh yeah, and a “poison” receptacle.
Crankyguy on Tonight’s Top 10 Shows May 1: Those hedgehogs look like hairy eggs with a face. I want one.
DazzyFresh on Bad Girls Club: What a shitfest. I only read your recaps, because my eyes are sensitive to skank.
Ash1 on Toddlers & Tiaras: I’d buy that bridge, but then I’d have to evict all the former child pageant queens living under it with their pimps, so, no thanks!
GiltyPlezzur on Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding: Crows would commit Hari Kiri if they found that woman standing in a cornfield! Is that what is meant by hatchet-faced?
Musicleader on Celebrity Apprentice: Size 4 be damned. Let’s call it a size 8 packed in a sausage casing and be done with it OK?
Parisi LaRoe on Camille Grammer Will Be Back On Beverly Hills (watercooler): She is my favorite asshole. It is lucky she is endearing. I can’t even hate her because she is the best asshole ever.
kthxbai on the Shahs of Sunset: I think this show might be my fault. Because 1 time I said I didn’t see how Bravo could get any trashier than Real Housewives.
Notwithoutmytv on TVgasm Investigates: Being Kim Zolciak: Her mouth wraps around to the side of her head! Dental assistants call in back-up when she goes for a cleaning!
Flipit on Watch What Crappens Podcast #15 (Live): I should never be forced to sit still for that long fully clothed. I turn into a total asshole.
Merry on Eden’s World: All I can think is that the pounds of makeup slapped on the poor kid fooled viewers into thinking they were watching outtakes of Ru Paul’s Drag Race.
Chicken Lips on Toddlers & Tiaras: You’re right. I’m the dumb one on a site that attracts crazy pageant mothers with the grammar and spelling skills of drunk chimpanzees.
KartofflMuter on Celebrity Apprentice: Some people simply do not suffer fools. We do stand-up instead. Or-in my case-sit-down,if I haven’t had enough Vicodin.
Pageant-grandma on Toddlers & Tiaras: If you can’t laugh at yourself… Well… Crabby probably will.
chaosbutterfly on Tough Love New Orleans: What he does now is the equivalent of sending some fat, juicy, blind, deaf, dumb and legless sheep into the African savannah all by themselves. How are they supposed to survive that?
bluedog on Toddlers and Tiaras: I judge cheer and dance competitions here in Australia and points are taken off if the outfit tops don’t come to the hips and also for “showboating”. You would call it “facials”.
chaosbutterfly on Lifetime’s New Logo: I don’t know who’s driving the bus over there at lifetime, but Jesus clearly needs to take the wheel.