Pageant-grandma on Toddlers & Tiaras: Look, paisley is a cute kid, but she has the stage-presence of a bent staple, and her only claim to “fame” so far is your horridly inappropriate costume choices, and a greasy “agent” who makes me feel the need to shower when he appears on my tv.
Hypnotoad on Desperate Housewives: As we come to the sunset on our Wisteria Lane years, I find myself getting a little misty . . . (down there) . . . (not really — in my eyes, actually). Normally, I would be EVER SO PISSED that this season’s mystery COMPLETELY petered out — and actually, I’m a little pissed — but I’m forgiving it because I think that the writers want the characters to have their moments instead of the show itself. . .. I’m definitely going to miss this show. But I do realize that most of what I will miss will be the first four seasons, and then tuning in to each additional season in the hopes that the show will reach those heights. But that’s life, isn’t it? — Hoping to make each moment as good as the best ones and knowing that if you fail, at least the memories of the great moments can provide comfort in times of need.
Carol on Revenge: I think I figured out the facial expression of Emily and Victoria (when they are not talking or the once-an-episode smirk). They look like they are trying to hold in a fart.
April on Drag Race: I so want Rupaul’s gown. I just would totally commit murder to get his closet.
T-Cake on DWTS: I LOVE camel toes!
Cyn TV on Trailer: Snookie and Jwow’s Spinoff: Dammit! I’m gonna watch this! Why, God, whhyyyyy?
kthxbai on Real Housewives of New Jersey: If you’re both super rich and super stupid it’s really trashy to brag about both of those things in the same sentence.
hot cawfee on American Idol 2012 Top 5: The only thing that saved me from not punching the TV is that I would have spilled my wine.
MrsRogerSterling on Toddlers & Tiaras: What goes through these people’s minds when they name their kids? Latrina (one letter away from being named after a Port-a-Potty) names her son Exavier. Why the E????????
Gypsy on R.I.P. MCA: One lonely Beastie I be.
plockness monster on TVGasm Gets A Facial: If there is no BB forum, I might jump off a bridge. Flipit, do you want that on your conscious?
chicken lips on The Amazing Race: Dear Phil – Please don’t be a shit stirrer like Jeff Probst. You are 1000x better than him and your eyebrow has twice the talent of his eyebrows combined.
2muchTV on Margaret Cho Is Returning To 30Rock: This sitcom is the ultimate proof of PT Barnum’s oft-quoted adage. Most un-funny, non-ironic, smugly self-referential masturbation fest ever allowed on prime-time TV.
notwithoutmyTV on Real Housewives of New Jersey: And remember, Albie, the Hooters girls help you read the menu because they live on tips, not because they want to be your girlfriend/replacement mommie who has sex with you.
cloudsinmycoffee on Real Housewives of Orange County: You know, if she’s stupid enough to entertain Brooks as her man whilst he counts her moneybags then so be it. She’s a moron and he’s a creepy ass dude. Even his hair gives me the creeps.
snowshoecat on Real Housewives of New Jersey: Fun fact: Gorja is the term Gypsys use for slutty non-Gypsy girls, as opposed to slutty Gypsy girls … I am, of course, not referring to our own Gypsy.
caligal on Mob Wives: Tardy to the party here, but who in their right mind would buy any skin care products from Bitch Face Karen?? HATE!
Cosmonala on Cougar Town May Get Picked Up By TBS If ABC Canceles It: What a great, hilarious show! I hope TBS picks it up if ABC is stupid enough to cancel it. Haha–listen to me–”if”.