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Friday, December 21, 2012
7:00 am
43 Comments
Pageant-grandma on Toddlers & Tiaras: Look, paisley is a cute kid, but she has the stage-presence of a bent staple, and her only claim to “fame” so far is your horridly inappropriate costume choices, and a greasy “agent” who makes me feel the need to shower when he appears on my tv.
Hypnotoad on Desperate Housewives: As we come to the sunset on our Wisteria Lane years, I find myself getting a little misty . . . (down there) . . . (not really — in my eyes, actually). Normally, I would be EVER SO PISSED that this season’s mystery COMPLETELY petered out — and actually, I’m a little pissed — but I’m forgiving it because I think that the writers want the characters to have their moments instead of the show itself. . .. I’m definitely going to miss this show. But I do realize that most of what I will miss will be the first four seasons, and then tuning in to each additional season in the hopes that the show will reach those heights. But that’s life, isn’t it? — Hoping to make each moment as good as the best ones and knowing that if you fail, at least the memories of the great moments can provide comfort in times of need.
Carol on Revenge: I think I figured out the facial expression of Emily and Victoria (when they are not talking or the once-an-episode smirk). They look like they are trying to hold in a fart.
April on Drag Race: I so want Rupaul’s gown. I just would totally commit murder to get his closet.
T-Cake on DWTS: I LOVE camel toes!
Cyn TV on Trailer: Snookie and Jwow’s Spinoff: Dammit! I’m gonna watch this! Why, God, whhyyyyy?
kthxbai on Real Housewives of New Jersey: If you’re both super rich and super stupid it’s really trashy to brag about both of those things in the same sentence.
hot cawfee on American Idol 2012 Top 5: The only thing that saved me from not punching the TV is that I would have spilled my wine.
MrsRogerSterling on Toddlers & Tiaras: What goes through these people’s minds when they name their kids? Latrina (one letter away from being named after a Port-a-Potty) names her son Exavier. Why the E????????
Gypsy on R.I.P. MCA: One lonely Beastie I be.
plockness monster on TVGasm Gets A Facial: If there is no BB forum, I might jump off a bridge. Flipit, do you want that on your conscious?
chicken lips on The Amazing Race: Dear Phil – Please don’t be a shit stirrer like Jeff Probst. You are 1000x better than him and your eyebrow has twice the talent of his eyebrows combined.
2muchTV on Margaret Cho Is Returning To 30Rock: This sitcom is the ultimate proof of PT Barnum’s oft-quoted adage. Most un-funny, non-ironic, smugly self-referential masturbation fest ever allowed on prime-time TV.
notwithoutmyTV on Real Housewives of New Jersey: And remember, Albie, the Hooters girls help you read the menu because they live on tips, not because they want to be your girlfriend/replacement mommie who has sex with you.
cloudsinmycoffee on Real Housewives of Orange County: You know, if she’s stupid enough to entertain Brooks as her man whilst he counts her moneybags then so be it. She’s a moron and he’s a creepy ass dude. Even his hair gives me the creeps.
snowshoecat on Real Housewives of New Jersey: Fun fact: Gorja is the term Gypsys use for slutty non-Gypsy girls, as opposed to slutty Gypsy girls … I am, of course, not referring to our own Gypsy.
caligal on Mob Wives: Tardy to the party here, but who in their right mind would buy any skin care products from Bitch Face Karen?? HATE!
Cosmonala on Cougar Town May Get Picked Up By TBS If ABC Canceles It: What a great, hilarious show! I hope TBS picks it up if ABC is stupid enough to cancel it. Haha–listen to me–”if”.
43 Comments
I’m trying to remember if I was posting these at work or at home.
I’m praying I was at home because I would have to wonder if I am secretly drinking at work.
@snowshoecat: on Real Housewives of New Jersey: Fun fact: Gorja is the term Gypsys use for slutty non-Gypsy girls, as opposed to slutty Gypsy girls … I am, of course, not referring to our own Gypsy.
Why thank you @SSC, I do appreciate you not calling me a slut, SLUT PIG, a COCK, an ASSHOLE, A LABIA or a BITCH with INSURANCE either! XOXO
Holy fuckballs, Page 7 is like they tried to hold back the commentgasm and then suddenly bore down and PUSHED, and out they all spewed… I LOVE IT!
love, J-Mo
@Gypsy, you are sooooooooooooo welcome.
You are also not a Conniving, Untrustworthy, Nasty, Troublemaker either.
XOXOXOXO
Flipit, many of us have whined that we really preferred having the posts all on one page. The reason is illustrated on pages 3 and 4 separating Simon’s picture from my comment about it.
Kinda loses something in the translation.
Thank you for your kind attention, oh fearless Leader. Now back to reading and laughing. Thank goodness I am using my patented Computer Keyboard SpitShield.
Happy birthday to me! I made tvgasm history again.
I know it’s a huge undertaking to do these but I so love reading them!
Happy Birthday Mere!
I hate to be picky but it’s – Idiots Out Wandering Around. Idiots don’t wander about – that is too high brow.
Mere happy b-day and congrats.
YAY Mere!!!!! Happy b-day—passing champs and cup-cakes. Holy Cow– we are a very funny group zallllll I am sayin’. I am laughing all over again—-great to read these b/c some of the shows I dont watch–and the comments are still funny!!!!!!
Yay, I was funny once so far this year. And I’m perfectly happy with that, nothing I said this year top my fancy pedophile comment. That Candass or whoever it was( these pageant moms blend together after a while), really brought the best out of all of us.
Happy Birthday Mere! The world not ending must be the best present ever.
@Cranky – “Those hedgehogs look like hairy eggs with a face. I want one.”
When I read this, the first thing to pop into my head was “Hedgehogs, don’t you mean ‘Snooki’?”
I finally made it! Twice!!!! Yay me.
@sagittariuskim: Oh, damn! I’d forgotten all about Candass, too. Good times. Good times.
Page 7 really was a “beautiful spew”, as J-Mo pointed out. Thanks for letting me be a part of it, Alejandra and Luscious
ok, I swear I posted a comment earlier…they keep getting eaten!!
@bedheadjen-flippers and pimp cups! LOL girl!
Happy Birthday Mere!
Oh and Jho comments 2 days in a row! woo
thisbugg – In May many people were complaining about missing comments as the site was rebooted. Seeing your comment brought the memories alive again! Yay for flashbacks and cyber fuckery.
Happy Birthday, Mere!
I tell ya, nothing is more gratifying than a commentgasm mention. I smile, I cheer, I swell up with pride. I’d take a bow to an empty room but this chair is sooooooooo comfortable.
Side note: Remember when captcha was just a word or two? Now we’re writing mission statements just to post one-liners. Captcha codes are longer than the original post. lol
I love reliving all the T&T craziness! It’s like the perfect Christmas gift.
Captcha will now make it hard for pagaent moms to visit. Aw man..there went 2013.
@Sheesh, oh nooooooooooooooooooo!! Best part of the fun is often the delusinea defending their young. Before eating them, I have often noted.
Happy birthday Mere. What a wonderful way to celebrate.
Happy Birthday Mere! What a great way to be honored on your birthday! Snarky comments about unsuspecting people.
My captcha code had punctuation….
My need for more Jennifer Slowpez is equal to Bruce Dickenson’s need for more cowbell! Batshit crazy never gets old.
@Clair-You’re ‘playing favorites’ comment is one of my all time favs! Happy Birthday Mere
Awesome set of comments, as usual.
Just 4 more months, and I break my last year total of being in 8 of the 12 months.
I’m not too proud of most of my comments though — they’re chuckle-worthy, but not exactly hilarious. Then again, June/July is when Masterchef and Hell’s Kitchen came on, and for those I act SUPER-botarded. So I think I’m good those months.
Actually, should we have a vote for “comment section of the year”? Because I would totally put the Masterchef 200+ comment thread up, and the CandASS thread from T&T (if that was this year — I think it was). Both of those devolved into awesome, awesome spectacles.
Actually, should we have a vote for “comment section of the year”? Because I would totally put the Masterchef 200+ comment thread up, and the CandASS thread from T&T (if that was this year — I think it was). Both of those devolved into awesome, awesome spectacles.
Yess the 200+ thread on Master Chef was hilarious.
I would also like to nominate that thread from the Newsgasm about Lance Armstrong getting his Tour de France titles stripped from him.
That one had tears streaming down my face.
Wow. I made it AGAIN. I AM awesome.
Back to reading.
<>
Oh. my. God. I am stealing this.
Note to self: Do not comment at 1 AM when half-asleep and sober…please ignore comment 26…
Clair on Toddlers & Tiaras: My dad had a favorite child, and it wasn’t me. It didn’t bother me too much because I had a favorite parent, and it wasn’t him.
I am stealing this…..
I remember the 100+ comment thread from the beginning of the most recent season of Survivor. Any time there’s overt Christianity, the mention of hot sauce, and the bootee speaking in tongues, you know the Comments section is going to blow up.
Yay! I finally made it! Of course it was at poor, puffy Xtina’s expense.
I was so excited my husband congratulated me!
Yay I got two on this month! I am so happy!
@ssc – you’re so right! I wonder how many pageant moms have tried to post and gave up out of frustration??
@Linda, sadly we will never know.
Thanks for the bdaycwishes…glad we all survived the supposed end of the world. Now we can be funny for another year!
Looking at some of these insane threads, we need to have another vote for “Poster of the Year”
My nomination: KartofflMuter
Half of those threads that devolved into insanity simply because of the “insanity wick” that is KM.
@Jimbob, you crafty devil! You’re just baiting KM to get her here with one of her insanely entertaining rants.
We’re on to you.
Hope it works.
Happy… Um… Whatever, KM.
Please don’t feed peanuts to the monkey! Her posts make my head explode. Really. It’s a mess to clean up and I don’t know how many more heads I have left.
@linda – LOL (seriously. I never type that if I don’t actually laugh). I hate her posts, too. But they always seem to bring out the best/worst in all of us. She’s like a snark lightning-rod or something — you don’t pay attention to the rod, you just want to see all the lightning that happens around it.
OK, so how about “Best Poster” and “Most Infamous Poster”?
Best for me would be a toss-up between notwithoutmytv, sarcastire, and itchy. (Depending on the day and who gives me the most money).
Most Infamous would have to go to KM — nobody has stirred up more s*** than she has (even though I think the T&T threads are a bit more insane, KM wins on longevity, and her ability to turn any topic into a “fun” one).
I agree wholeheartedly with your nominations, Jimbob. I would also like to add a nomination of my own. “Poster most likely to enter into a prolonged religious/political debate” – I’d say it’s a tie between itchy and crankyguy.
@JimbobJones, BRILLIANT!
I agree KM for most infamous and inciting the most comment wars/riots on the site which made my 2012 on the Gasm so amazing in so many ways
Might I add Sheesh to the list of nominees for the one liners and zingers and outrageously funny humor?!?
We should take a vote after the December on commenters of the year….just an idea @flipit.
Aw thanks Gypsy…that is so nice…
Hooray, I made it on this one! I have ABSOLUTELY no clue what I was talking to MaryEdith and Vallegirl about. Is Baskerville a cat?
So honored to be on the list, thanks Guys!!!