Commercialgasm: Forever Lazy


By Luscious | | 9:00 am | 36 Comments

Good news, Gasmii!

Has the Snuggie let you down? Still wishing that giant blankies weren’t so warm, inconvenient and, well, giant?


Commercialgasm blanket foreverlazy I hate how cozy this big blanket is!

Then the Forever Lazy is for you! Just when you thought there would never be a solution to attaining the level of slug-like idleness that can only come from absolute vegging, this incredible new product has arrived.

Forever Lazy blue model INTRODUCING THE FOREVER LAZY!

This ingenious design is like nothing ever seen before. Teletubbie purple


It is a marvel of engineering and creativity. It surpasses the blanket because it wraps around your entire body. It surpasses the Snuggie because it doesn’t have those ridiculous cumbersome sleeves that prevent you from doing anything like turning the page of a book, wiping your ass, etc. Also, this ingenious design means plenty of room for expansion.

Forever Lazy frige raidPerfect for the  inflating one can expect after a coke and
crackers, salsa, pickles and mustard sandwich.

But what makes this product better then, say, the footie pajama? That’s the amazing part. In the Forever Lazy, both your hands and feet are hamper free.

 

Forever Lazy free hands Look mom, we’ve got hands!


Forever Lazy forgot the feet Since the patent wouldn’t let us add feet, we’ll throw these in for free.

And the Forever Lazy isn’t just for lying around watching t.v. at home.

No, this wonderful new addition to the world of haute couture can be worn on many occasions.

Meeting a blind date for drinks at the golf course?

Forever Lazy date The Forever Lazy is for you.

Planning on tailgating at the big game?

Forever Lazy tailgate party The Forever Lazy is for you.

Looking for the perfect outfit that says to your girlfriend “No, I wasn’t just banging the college chick next door.”

Forever Lazy gay dude on couch The Forever Lazy is for you.

Wishing you could invent a theme party where everyone has to wear the same thing?

Forever Lazy blue group Look no further than the Forever Lazy!

Let’s say you’re at the game and nature calls.

Forever Lazy need bathroomWhat to do?

The Forever Lazy is equipped with zippers in both the front and the back

Forever Lazy butt access for access in any situation!

No more leaving your entire back exposed and freezing when it’s time for #2!

Boys on toilet with SnuggieThe Snuggie can’t do that!

But what about when you only have to pee? Well, okay, our product has to be zipped all the way down, exposing your front side to the freezing air. But wouldn’t you rather be warmer when sitting on a toilet? Ask yourself this, which one takes longer to do, hm?

The Forever Lazy is so proud and sure of their product, they didn’t even have to bother mentioning their celebrity endorsement.

Forever Lazy celebrity endorsementHoward Wolowitz loves the Forever Lazy!

 

So act now and we’ll throw in a bunch of useless junk for free. Hurry – supplies are limited and we hear the runways of Paris and Milan calling….

 




Luscious
About

Luscious just got back from a one year backpacking trip around the world with her husband (TVgasm fill-in specialist, The Professor). She spends her days writing, knitting and sewing. She's only good at one of those hobbies, not saying which.  Her secret dream is to write romance novels and have critics say her brilliance is wasted on such a pointless genre. Also, she'd like to create a pair of pajamas for her niece where the sleeves actually work.

36 Comments

  1. 1
    lindaw205
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 10:53 am

    Okay, this can’t be real….can it?

  2. 2
    NatPatBen
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 10:58 am

    When I saw the commercial for this, I shook my head in disappointment at America.

  3. 3
    Chicken Lips
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 11:04 am

    I was so disappointed in the world when I saw the commercial for Forever Lazy and realized I wasn’t watching SNL. I thought I’d seen it all until I saw the “Little MissMatched” socks on QVC. It was at that point that I seriously considered packing up and moving to Canada or the Bahamas or something.

  4. 4
    themiki
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 11:06 am

    So glad someone was shocked and appalled enough to make an entire ‘gasm out of this. Way to make the Snuggie look refined, assholes.

  5. 5
    itchy
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 11:09 am

    It’s a Sneed! A Sneed is a thing most everyone Needs!

  6. 6
    Luscious Luscious
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 11:10 am

    The Little Missmatched socks sounds like it needs commercialgasm coverage….

  7. 7
    lindaw205
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 11:31 am

    So….this is not a joke but is really real! OMG, the zombie apocalypse can’t come too soon.

  8. 8
    adelefig
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 11:31 am

    yes, please tell us about The Little Mismatched socks!!!!

  9. 9
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 11:35 am

    But..but..I love Little Missmatched! I mean, for my one year old daughter. Watching Snooki parade around in the knee socks just made me embarrassed for her.

  10. 10
    zbird
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 11:57 am

    I saw this ad and happily believed that it was an SNL skit, until my SIL informed me after Thanksgiving dinner that it’s real, and she wants one. Then my other SIL jumped into the conversation and gleefully agreed. She wants one too. Oh em gee. And this? Is what’s wrong with the 99%.

  11. 11
    newlyengaged
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    “a sneed” <– I died!

    Yeah, there are some very, very, very stupid people that, in addition to buying this crap, will be voting in the next Presidential election. I may join Chicken Lips and leave the States.

  12. 12
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    True Life: I’m Going to Buy a Forever Lazy When I Get My Next Paycheck.

    And I am not ashamed.

  13. 13
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    The best thing about the zipper in the back is the flaps double as a toilet seat cover when taking a dump in public.

  14. 14
    ChaCha
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    It’s a freakin’ onesie for grownups.

  15. 15
    Robin Robinez
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    I already have one.

  16. 16
    Sarah Wolf
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    You think this is bad… there’s a product called “Snazzy Napper” That must be seen to be believed. It’s a fleece head drape/hood/cover/whatsit you carry, so when you need to sleep you just pop it on your head and ta-da! You’ve blocked out all light and made yourself a terrifying faceless hooded thing! It’s also got a nose opening that they describe as “oval shaped”… I’m going to goggle this and post the link.

  17. 17
    Sarah Wolf
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 6:30 pm
  18. 18
    Chicken Lips
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    @sarcasatire HAHA – I laughed so hard I choked. It’s good when items can multitask!

    I own a Snuggie. We’ll, it’s a wannabe Snuggie (a “wuggie” if you will). I’m ashamed to admit I love it…but it’s so hard to wear while doing my housework because I’m not tall enough to have it not drag on the floor. So as soon as the wannabe Forever Lazy comes out (I’ll call it 4-Eva Lay-Z), I’ll get one because my feet will be free! Plus, since I may be in the Bahamas by then, I can still feel the sand between my toes.

    And as for Little MissMatched – the QVC presentation I saw was $22 for six socks (not three pairs, just six socks). How about I hit the ddollar store, buy 6 pairs and promise to not wear them matched? Actually, I have a hard enough time finding matches as it is so maybe I can accomplish the same thing in my existing sock drawer. :)

  19. 19
    Chicken Lips
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    @Sarah Wolf Yes, please! What an awesome idea – heaven knows I love to have my head and face covered in a public place around strangers. I mean, I don’t have to be worried about strangers stealing my stuff or violating me, right?

  20. 20
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    Okay, in the interest of full disclosure, I will admit..I am an ugly sleeper. Even in the deepest slumber, my eyes remain open. (and so do my mouth.) When my best friend and I were traveling around South America on night buses I would often shroud my head and body with my sarong to spare others the sight of my zombie-like R.E.M. My friend hated that. She said it looked like she was sitting next to a dead body.

    That sounded like a job for the Snazzy Napper!

  21. 21
    Sarah Wolf
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 8:51 pm

    The Snazzy Napper kind of looks like a Burkha (forgive me if I spelled that wrong!), if the fundamentalists were open to having cartoon sheep and drifting letter “Z”s printed on their garb.

  22. 22
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    I SNEED the forever lazy & am so excited to learn of this magical invention in time to request it for Christmas! :) I also want that snazzy thing. I don’t know about you guys, but that would be awesome to have on an airplane! I’m always freezing on long flights! :)

  23. 23
    itchy
    Posted November 27, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    Where was that Snazzy when I was a young’un jetting around the world? I used to wake up from my plane naps and the stewardesses (they were still called that back then) would always give me a BIG smile and free drinks and were extra super nice to me. Not that I minded the attention…

  24. 24
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted November 28, 2011 at 12:58 am

    I’m generally a cute sleeper…sometimes, my mouth falls open and I drool everywhere, but mostly, I just look peaceful. Or so I’ve been told.
    So I do not need the Snazzy…it looks absolutely hilarious though. If I ever saw someone using it in real life, I’d probably stare more than I would if they were just sleeping ugly.

  25. 25
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted November 28, 2011 at 4:31 am

    I’m a cute sleeper. In fact, I can’t sleep with my mouth open which sucks when I have a stuffed up nose. And I am also slightly germophobic and did you know they don’t necessarily wash the blanket on the plane? They just wrap it back up in plastic. I once got one that was covered with someone’s grey hairs. Gross. So the snazzy napper would be kind of nice. Eye mask and a little blanket. But… um…. the plane already gives me an eye mask and I can bring my own blanket so why do I need theirs? The snazzy Zs?

  26. 26
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted November 28, 2011 at 6:16 am

    @SB: I’ve heard that about the blankets, but I don’t know if it’s true. That is so gross you got a dirty blanket. I would have freaked out! I’m a bit of a germaphobe too. Ugh. All the more reason to get your own Snazzy. :)

  27. 27
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted November 28, 2011 at 8:00 am

    You know, I don’t think this Forever Lazy product is terrible. Here in England, the weather can be cold and wet and the inside of the house is sometimes very chilly. As I work from home, there are lots of times I wear a sweatshirt and sweat pants. This really isn’t all that different. I can totally see someone wearing it around the house when it is cold. But no one in their right mind would wear this outside the house!!! Oh wait, I take that back. Having seen People Of Walmart, I should know that people will wear anything out.

  28. 28
    itchy
    Posted November 28, 2011 at 9:11 am

    I work from home too and that’s why I can wear a Peruvian poncho all day long and not worry about looking odd. Ponchos are the best.

  29. 29
    Posted November 28, 2011 at 9:16 am

    Do you also smoke cigarillos while dragging Eli Wallach behind your horse?

  30. 30
    sheesh
    Posted November 28, 2011 at 10:20 am

    I’m slapping my knee laughing, that shit is FUNNY vallegirl!

  31. 31
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted November 28, 2011 at 10:37 am

    So you’re saying I would look odd wearing this through the airport?

  32. 32
    LAC LAC
    Posted November 28, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    My husband and I watched this commercial with the same open mouth look of horror. Seriously, outside? I can see where maybe you want to lie around inside your house marinating in your own juices in a onesie. But walk outside with it on? We have enough problems with men coming into restaurants in sweatpants, baseball caps, and flip flops. Now there is a possibility that I might see this in a public place? And that person is wide awake and not sleep walking? Why Lawd?!?!?

  33. 33
    bubblesballentine
    Posted November 28, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    I’m waiting til they add matching gloves. and bunny ears. and it’s got to be pink. REALLY PINK.

    Then I’ll happily hop to hell.

  34. 34
    Robin Robinez
    Posted November 28, 2011 at 7:35 pm

    I really do have one of these and it isn’t too bad. It’s a helluva lot better than that snuggie thing. Yes, I got one of those too. But that one was a gift because it had the Redskins logo. The snuggie was a stupid idea. Fashion has changed over the years, but we pretty much put our clothes on the same way, still. Then they come along and tell us to wear shit ass backwards and think it is a great idea! Well, they were right. People thought it was high time to start wearing thier clothes backwards and they celebrated the backwardness by dancing, playing wii, and eating popped corn! A new generation of people wearing thier clothes backward’s.

  35. 35
    themiki
    Posted November 29, 2011 at 7:32 am

    Didn’t Kriss Kross already make that trend happen back when I was in fifth grade?

  36. 36
    Tapnfeet99
    Posted November 29, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    Hahaha Themiki, I was totally picturing Kriss Kross and their backwards overalls. Not ashamed to admit I tried my overalls on backwards as a kid either, although I didn’t wear them out like that.

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