I love Quizno’s. I mean, I love Quiznos. But there is one thing that I despise more than just about anything on TV right now: Quizno’s commercials. You know what I’m talking about: stupid talking baby. Yes, for those of you unfamiliar with this ill-advised marketing choice, Quizno’s has elected to hawk their tasty sandwiches with the ever-annoying (and disarmingly creepy) talking baby mascot. I know what you’re thinking: “Didn’t the talking baby schtick go out of style four years ago?” Yes. “And wait, was it ever funny, even when it was popular?” NO. Still, despite this, some idiot either at Quizno’s has decided to resurrect the timeless comedy of CBS’s Baby Bob and force it on pop culture once again.
So imagine my delight to come across this posting on Craigslist:
JEFF GERRARD CASTING (818)782-9900 Is Seeking Thje Following:
The Baby we are currently using to play “Baby Bob” in our SAG QUIZNO’s Campaign (Who we found thru CraigsList – Yea!!!) is getting older and soon will step down
Wait, could it be? Is Quizno’s finally retiring this awful, awful ad campaign??? Have our prayers been answered? For a fleeting moment, a giddy exuberance overcame me, and just when I was about to bolt to Quizno’s for a celebratory Spicy Monterey Club (my fave), I decided to read the rest of the post…
so we are looking for babies 6 months to 9 1/2 months old (NO OLDER PLEASE!!!) who look like “Baby Bob” (Go To quiznos.com to check him out). Must be CAUCASIAN and have a full face. Can be a boy or girl (As long as parents are willing to cut the hair short to look like a boy – the current “Baby Boy” is a girl). We are open to seeing single, twins, triplets, whatever. This baby is trhe whole campaign so please NO CRIERS!!! Babies must be outgoing and willing to be held by a number of people through-out the day. The most important thing is that the baby MUST LOOK LIKE OUR CURRENT “BABY BOB”.
NOOOOOOO!!! The campaign continues! Must we see this “Baby Bob” (wow, they really did just rip off that sitcom) slowly evolving over time, becoming more and more annoying with each passing commercial? There’s only one way to fight this. I encourage everyone to boycott Quizno’s until this campaign is over (and hey, they could lower their prices a tad too, but I’ll settle for just a victory on the baby front). Also, parents should flood the casting office with tons of “criers” who will so annoy the directors that they’ll simply call off the entire ad campaign in exasperation. Sounds like a realistic goal, yes?By the way, in a press release on the Quizno’s website, IAG Research and Advertising Age magazine claim that the Baby Bob spot was the highest rated commercial in January. The newest Baby Bob ad in April was ranked the seventh most liked new commercial in America. Great. Now we’ll never get rid of these stupid commercials. Thanks for ruining it, MIDDLE AMERICA!