Confessions of a Teen Idol: Ya Gotta Have a Gimmick

This week some Idols repent for past sins, while others are reminded of the good they’ve done. Some Idols are forgiven for their past mistakes. But that’s not all we have this week. Just throw in a big green shake from Eric, a little striptease and a concert. Its a wild, wild episode.

So move over Mamma Rose, it’s time for TVannie to get this show out of the dressing room and onto the big stage we call TVGasm.

WHO HOOOOOO Get out your dollar bills ladies and gents and line up to tip the Idols in this week’s episode “Ya Gotta Have a Gimmick”.

We join our Idols lounging around the set/condo/launching pad, I’m never sure what to call this place, it’s not exactly “Home Sweet Home”. Anyway, back to the Idols. Jamie is playing his guitar. He says he is grateful for this time to practice and write new songs. When he is at home Jamie says he pulls out his guitar and it turns into a family sing-a-long. Jamie likes the family thing but it’s nice to have time for himself.

In the kitchen Eric (Pee Head/The Big Pooh) is holding Jeremy hostage sorry I mean he is talking to Jeremy about going on a seven day raw food, anabolic fast. Eric says this mixture of raw foods and other scary green shake stuff will help Jeremy become supercharged with vitamins and energy. Jeremy says he knows he will never eat as healthy as Eric does, but he wants to do a fast to clean out the toxins and give him a fresh start.

Jeremy goes on to say he craves sugar, popsicles and ice cream and burgers. (I love those things too and would prefer all of that over a green health shake any day.)

Jeremy starts on his fast and says the green shakes aren’t so bad if they’re cold. Sorry bro, you are on your own this time, no green shakes for me. Not even a “Shamrock Shake” from McD’s.

Jason arrives at the house, with news for the guys. I guess VH1 probably found out that Adrian is onto their “call sheet” scam and that he is alerting others that they should run whenever the fax machine starts spitting out paper.

Jason tells the Idols that while they achieved fame, they were not the only ones impacted by their fame. They had family members and friends whose lives were also impacted by their fame. He tells them that some of them will be visited by someone from their past and they will have the opportunity to find out how their fame impacted that person.

Adrian says “I hope they don’t bring back my ex-wives.” He was laughing when he said this, probably thinking VH1 couldn’t be that mean. Yes, they could be that mean, but not this week.

Jeremy is hoping that he doesn’t have to face “The Hoff”. Jeremy sold a story to “The Enquirer” about how the Hoff gave him drugs when he was a little kid. Jeremy said he did it just for the money.

David says “you mean it wasn’t true?”. Jeremy admits it wasn’t true, he was in rehab at the time and needed the money, so he could party when he got out.

This means that sometimes the stories in the Enquirer aren’t true!! David is beginning to wonder if there are other magazines, tabloids and web sites that print lies and half-truths from unreliable sources

Suddenly, the familiar warning bells rings and that blasted machine begins spitting out a call sheet, like an AK47 shoots out bullets!! Adrian makes a run for it and makes it to the bunker in time to shut the door and brace himself from the call sheets explosion.

” Poor dumb bastards” he mutters. Adrian’s skill as a Ninja-spy-undercover-guy is the result of running anytime William Shatner had a meltdown when either his girdle busted a seam or his toupee glue wouldn’t stick while on the set of TJ Hooker. Adrian breathes a sigh of relief when he hears that this time the call sheet has Jeremy’s name on it.

Jeremy is first up for the visit from the Ghost of Christmas Past. Jeremy’s little sister Taylor visits the house to tell him how his fame impacted her life. Jeremy knows that he put his Mom and his sister through hell and he is a little apprehensive about this meeting.

Taylor starts out by asking Jeremy if he remembers the time the three gang members came to the house to rob it and how his Mom fought off all three of them and kept them out of the house. Taylor says they tried to tie Jeremy up with the cord from the vacuum and tried to kidnap him.
Jeremy says he remembers this and is sorry for putting them all through the bad stuff.

Taylor tells Jeremy that she tried to get her Mom’s attention by getting into a lot of trouble, just like Jeremy. But it backfired and didn’t work. She admits she still does that stuff from time to time.

But like any good little sister, Taylor doesn’t just drop the bad news and leave. She also tells Jeremy that she is happy because they got to do a lot of cool stuff due to Jeremy’s fame. She tells Jeremy if he stays clean, they will all be ok. Jeremy fights back the tears and hugs his sister. This trip back in time with his sister was a good thing for Jeremy and for Taylor. Way to mend your bridges bro.

Next up, the Big Pooh, our own Pee Pee guy, Eric Nies receives a call from his brother John. John doesn’t sound very enthusiastic about talking to Eric which is why he is just phoning Eric for this interview.

John (Eric’s brother) says that it was really hard when Eric’s perception of reality was gone. The collapse was heartbreaking. Then Eric interrupts him and starts on the whole “I was brain-washed” thing, but John interrupts Eric and says “well you could also put the blame on your drug use”.

Whoa, Eric didn’t like the drug comment so he completely takes over the conversation and says he had a manger who carried a Bible, introduced him to Kennedy’s and Shriver’s and he spoke to the Governor of New Jersey. He believed in him and thought the guy was credible but in the end his manager robbed his soul.

Eric says he partied until 9 or 10 AM and he wishes he would have trusted his own family. I think it was really interesting to watch Eric squirm and completely debunk the drug use problem. Eric blames his manager for the loss of his show business career, problems with his family and any other issues in his past. The one person Eric doesn’t blame? himself.

Eric your brother brought up something from the past and rather than admit it and deal with it, you ignore it and blame all your problems on someone else. Part of any 12 step program is to admit your problem and take responsibility for it. Obviously the Eric Nies 11-Step Program to Perfect Pooh, is one step short.

Next up we see our man Adrian in a restaurant. He is waiting to see who is coming from his past, when in walk his sons, Zach and Dylan. They all hug and Adrian is very happy to see these two kids. They look like they are in early twenties. Both look like their Dad.

The boys tell Adrian that their Mom had to be the rock while Adrian was away working on Broadway. Adrian says it was really hard to be away from them while they were growing up. The boys would fly out to see him in New York for the summer. One of the boys said that when they got on the plane to go back home, he cried all the way home.

Adrian apologizes and says he is very sorry that he put them through that hardship. Then the boys said, “But you called us every night.” Adrian gets really choked-up, he didn’t realize that the boys knew he was always there for them.

Both of his sons say they remember the calls and that he never, ever missed a night. The boys say that they knew he missed them and they are glad that he called them every night.

Adrian’s visit with his sons, was very sweet and Adrian feels really good that the boys know he cared a lot about them and they remembered that he always called them.

Next up is Billy. Billy is waiting in a restaurant to see which ghost from his past will be there to scare him when in walks a guy named Roberto. Billy says this is the guy that he moved out to California with and that he lived with Roberto.

Roberto and another guy had a studio apartment and when the landlord found out there were 3 people living there, one of them had to leave and it was Billy.

Roberto is all choked up and starts to cry. He says he is sorry that he wasn’t there for Billy. Billy says it’s OK I’m not angry and I don’t have any grudge against you.

Roberto says he was jealous of Billy and that is why he turned his back on him.

Billy is so touched. He tells Roberto “I love you bro. We need to put this behind us. Honest to God.”

Way to go Billy. Talk about well-adjusted and forgiving. Billy relied on his faith and did the right thing by forgiving his friend.

Way to go Natalie, you don’t carry grudges, even if they go with your outfit.

Natalie/
BILLY PICTURE
Jamie is nervously waiting in a restaurant. His blast from the past is Steve, who is a record producer. Steve arrives and is happy to see Jamie. They worked together on the TV show “The Heights” and he also was involved in working on Jamie’s hit song “How Do You Talk To An Angel”.

Jamie explains that while he was out performing his hit, all the tween girls were screaming and holding up posters of him. They loved him.

Then his character on 90120, starts beating Donna (Tori Spelling) and throws her down a flight of stairs. The girls went from love to hate. They were holding up posters “Stop beating Donna”.

Steve says he thinks Jamie got screwed by bad timing. I think he’s right. Jamie’s series “The Heights” was canceled and the tween girls in this country and around the world put him on the bad ass list because of his character on 90210.

Jamie leaves the brief meeting happy and inspired. He would really love to sing again. Way to go Jamie!!! Way to kick your apathy right in the butt!!

Back at the house, the fax starts spitting out paper. Oh no, run for it. But it’s too late, it’s another beat down with Dr. Cooper. They must really be in for a bad beat down today since none of the ghosts from the past were bad, it must be Dr. Cooper’s turn to really let them have it.

Dr. Cooper is wearing a green top and that big flower she wore on episode 2. I think this is the flower with the hidden microphone or some kind of tricky “spy-wear”.

Dr. Cooper says that it’s important to know how their fame effected other people in their lives. Jeremy says he was always home schooled so he didn’t really have any friends his own age. He also says that he has “known his aesthetician longer than any of his friends.”

Jamie says “your what?” Jeremy says “My aesthetician. I was getting facials since I started in the business.” The other guys look really puzzled by this information.

But Dr. Cooper suddenly out of nowhere gushes just “look at that skin!” giving away the fact that she is jealous of Jeremy’s skin. It does look good on camera, even in high definition. The guys are not so impressed by this information. They all seem a little worried about how a little kid is effected if he has had facials since he was ten years old.

Adrian says that fame can be lonely. He tells the guys how he called his boys every night to find out how their day was and how things were going. He says he called every night no matter what. More importantly, Adrian is glad his sons remember he called. Adrian tells the idols that his sons are his best friends.

Awwwwwww, that was so cute Adrian. Calling every night before the arrival of cell phones was quite an accomplishment. Good job Dad.

Jeremy says that some people would pretend to be friends with his sister just to get to him. He feels badly about that and says she has trust issues because people use her just to get close to him.

Eric says it’s like being under a microscope your entire life. He says he wants to clear the slate and get rid of the past and more forward. That’s an interesting statement considering what happens at the end of this episode. Keep reading Gasmii, this gets pretty good.

Jamie tells the Idols he had a great meeting with Steve his producer. Steve said Jamie has a gift and that he would be a fool not to persue his music career. Jamie says it would be great to make some new music with people from his past. All the Idols clap, Jamie is really trying to get the most out of this experience. Jamie is finally open to getting back to making music.

Then something really out of the ordinary happens. Dr. Cooper thanks the Idols for being so open and she ends the session. No beat down, not even some backhanded compliments. I think she might have been drunk. She probably keeps her booze in that big flower on her dress.

Right after the session ended, Jeremy goes to the phone and makes a call about Jamie. He talks about how Jamie, still has “it” and how great he is and he asks the person on the other end of the call if he would have an opening for Jamie.

Jeremy goes back into the kitchen to talk to Jamie. He says he has something to tell him and he hopes Jamie is OK with it. Jeremy’s friend Jeff runs a small club called “The Mint”. Jeremy told Jeff about Jamie and booked Jamie to play there. He can bring his family and friends to the performance. He thinks Jamie would not go out of his way to do this for himself, so he did this to support Jamie.

At first, Jamie doesn’t say anything. Jeremy is nervous that Jamie will be angry for interfering. But instead of that, Jamie says, “well I guess I better start rehearsing.” All the guys smile and clap. Way to be selfless Jeremy. Another gold star for Jeremy Jackson. Once again, he goes against type and helps out a fellow Idol.

Jamie is kind of nervous when he is getting ready for his first show in seven years. He has his guitar and his case. He tells David he is nervous, but he is also happy.

Jamie invited his wife, friends and the Idols to the club to see him play. Jason introduces Jamie to Jeff and says that he is producing a movie with Robert DiNero and that they are looking for original music for the soundtrack.

This is a big chance for Jamie to boost his career and get really good exposure to the right people. He feels a little pressure before he goes on stage.

Jeremy goes on stage to introduce Jamie. Before the actual introduction, Jeremy does the famous roadie move and does his very best “check one, two” into the microphone. Don’t you just love this guy? Then Jeremy introduces Jamie and gets the crowd clapping and welcoming Jamie back to the stage after too long an absence.

Jamie starts to play and everyone is really into the music. Adrian says Jamie is really talented “like the new Springsteen”. He says that Jamie is the real thing, he is a regular guy and he is great.

I agree Adrian, Jamie is very talented and for the second week in a row, I’m sorry I ever called him “famously annonymous”. I like the new song and I would totally buy his CD.

The new song is called “Catch Me” and his voice reminds me of Terry Black, the guy that sang “Moondust” from the movie “Meatballs”. Jamie says while he doesn’t think a bunch of “dudes” is really his target audience, it was a great experience and they (the Idols) were very supportive.

Jamie says playing is like riding a bike and it was “a great feeling, my moment.” Jeremy says he hopes the fire in Jamie’s soul has been re-lit.

These guys are all so nice to each other. It’s really heartwarming to see all this support. It’s like the Waltons, only way better looking and no women.

A few days later, Jason is back to tell the Idols about another challenge they need to perforem. But first, he gets them to all raise their glasses to Jamie for getting back on stage.

Then Jamie tells them about their next challenge. Will this be a big time humiliation? or are we going to have a whole episode without any drama?

Jason tells them they will have a chance to use their fame to help someone. They are all going to a club tonight, it’s a charity event for “A Drop In The Bucket”. This is a charity committed to digging wells and providing clean water for schools and orphanages in Africa. Sounds like a great cause. The Idols are going to an auction to raise money for this charity.

Jason tells them they will be auctioning off themselves. He tells them to get creative and think of things to do that will raise a lot of money. Jason adds that this is a competition to see who can raise the most money.

After Jason leaves, Jamie takes over the job of master web surfer from David. He looks up the charity and says that it looks like a great idea to provide clean drinking water for people.

Right away Billy is on the phone talking to some people in Las Vegas, making arrangements for his part of the auction. Even Eric sounds excited to be raising money for this cause.

When they get to the charity event, ET is there interviewing the Idols and asking about what they are doing. Inside the club there are a lot of women and a few men cheering as the Idols are introduced and brought out on stage for the auction.

First up is Jeremy. Jeremy says that the winning bidder will have 24 hours alone with him. He could paint your house or your toe nails or give you a hot oil massage. Jeremy will also match the winning bid, dollar for dollar. That’s really generous, but something seems a bit off.

So the women start bidding and it is up over $1000 pretty quick. But then all of a sudden, they show David in the audience and he bids $2000.

David is the winning bidder at $2000. Jeremy matches it so it is $4000 which is enough to build one entire well. This gets the event off to a really good start. But why did David bid on Jeremy?

David goes up on stage to hug Jeremy and he jumps up and wraps his legs around Jeremy’s waist and they fall to the floor and roll off the stage onto the floor. Everyone is stunned. Just exactly how close are these guys?

Chris sees David and Jeremy on the floor. I think his expression says it all.

VH1 does not do any explanation of the whole Jeremy and David thing. They just move on to the next Idol, Adrian. Adrian will cook a gourmet dinner for the winning bidder at his/her home or a romantic place of your choice. And, he will sing songs from Grease 2.

The women are cheering and hollering. Adrian is sold for $800 to a very happy woman in the audience.

Next Billy goes to the stage and is introduced. He has a special prize for the winning bidder. The winning bidder will fly to Las Vegas, and get front row tickets to see “Donny and Marie”.

OK so maybe that’s not exactly top of my list, but I can see it being a fun trip anyway. The bidding is pretty good and Billy goes for $2400. Way to sell it Natalie.

Next up is Chris, the Blue Lagoon guy. He is offering a romantic dinner at the beach for two when out of the blue, David comes up and puts his arm around Chris and says, it’s for three of them. Oh God, not again.

The women are confused but scream anyway. The winning bidder gets Chris and David. It sounds like David and Chris planned this before the auction started. But Chris seems a little unsure especially after the whole Jeremy David wrestling match.

These two beach babes go for $2200. One in a speedo and one in a loin cloth. Could be fun, maybe. There is still no explanation on why David bid on Jeremy.

Next we have Jamie. He is very nervous. He is worried he won’t raise much money. Jamie’s winning bidder will get a special one-on-one performance playing guitar and singing.

A guy from the back of the room yells out “How Do You Talk To an Angel” and Jamie says “If you got the money buddy”.

The women are intrigued and they bid $900 to hear a private concert from Jamie. This Idol auction was nice and normal, David did not try and get in on the bidding for Jamie.

Finally last but not least, we have Eric Nies. Eric tells the packed house that the winning bidder will get a “raw food retreat”. And with that statement, the idea of a “Grand Finale” flies right out the window. The club becomes eerily quiet.

Someone in the crowd shouts out they will pay $100 per article of clothing that Eric removes. Eric says he is flattered, but no thank you.

Then someone else says they will pay $1000 if Eric will take off his shirt. At this point, the other Idols are cheering and clapping too, but Eric is clearly not happy. He says he does not like feeling like someone is trying to control him.

The audience is cheering “do it, do it”. Eric says there are three girls trying to exploit him and turn this into a strip show. Eric is getting is angry and you can tell he is not feeling the charity thing anymore. Eric is afraid that this whole charity thing will turn into some kind of Chippendale event.

At this point, Eric is just standing there on stage while thinking about his next move. The audience is getting restless and no one is bidding on the “raw food retreat.”

Reluctantly Eric removes his shirt. VH1 increases the drama by silencing all the noise leaving only the clicks of the cameras going off as Eric removes his shirt. It was pretty dramatic.

Eric says that he lives his life with integrity and that this shows no dignity at all. It made him do some serious soul searching.

As soon as the Idols return to their house, Jeremy notices that the blender and shake stuff is gone. Eric is packing his stuff into his truck. Eric says he knew he was leaving when he was up on stage at the charity thing. He says it reminded him of the bad parts of show business.

Then VH1 shows great compassion by airing a clip from “Real World 1″ where Eric tells his housemates that he will take his clothes off for money as often as possible. Nice going VH1, show a clip from 20 years ago.

Jeremy calls and gets Jason and Scott on the phone and asks Eric if he wants to talk to them, he says no. He is too emotional to talk and doesn’t want to say something he’ll regret.

Can I just say something here? In episode 2 of this very show, Eric and the rest of the Idols all went shopping. When they got to the store, Eric couldn’t find any thing he liked so he just stood there shirtless in the middle of the store, with the cameras rolling, eating. So why is it so humiliating to take off his shirt for $1000? I know a lot of guys that would do it for a glass of beer.

Eric it’s not like this is just a bunch of drunk chicks who want to humiliate you. These are drunk chicks who want to humiliate you for charity. Get in the swing of things MR. RAW FOOD.

Chris says goodbye to Eric and says he will miss him. Chris wasn’t here for the hair pee last week and is probably still worried about David bidding on Jeremy.

The show ends with some words from Chachi. He says that for Eric, facing his past was just too painful. But for the others facing their past will help them move forward.

Next week, the Idols are back home after the auction. Is Eric really gone? will he ever come back? will they ever get the smell out of his bed and pillow or should they just burn everything.

The answers to these and other intriguing questions, next week on Confessions of a Teen Idol

Until next week Gasmii,

TVannie