Hey Gasmii, I posted this contest a while ago, but finally got to it now. This story won the best college story. I wasn’t going to post the story, but I thought it was hilarious…so here it is: Congrats Neillfilm!
The Best $5 Bet
I took pride in my ability to be lazy in college. It wasn’t a big deal for me to spend an entire school day watching movies rather than attending class. Well, my lazy fortitude was put to the test one fateful Easter weekend.
I knew that most of my roommates would be gone, as well as most everyone in town, and so I settled in for several reality TV marathons. Because that’s what you do to honor the memory of the Savior’s Crucifixion.
I went out to stock up on supplies and came home to find my roommate, Pete, sitting on my favorite couch. No big deal. We had another couch in the room, but the one Pete was on was the best and he knew it.
“What’s up, man? Not sneaking home this weekend?”
“Nah, The Hills is having an all day marathon.” I said.
“Sounds like a plan to me.”
I was pissed. Now don’t get me wrong here. I like Pete, but he was on my couch. So I waited, hoping he would leave for any reason. He didn’t budge.
“Damn it, Pete! Your on my couch!”
Pete just grinned at me. “I know.”
Well that kicked my nerves up a notch, and I started on a tirade about how I deserve the couch due to the hours I had put into contouring the cushions to the exact shape of my legs and ass.
Pete retorted with the fact that he found the couch at a yard sale and knew instantly that it would be a hit with a house. He bought it for all of us, and now was his time to enjoy it.
“I’ll be up later than you anyways.” He said. “I should be able to have the couch.”
I knew that logic or my addiction to caffeine wouldn’t win out so I got desperate.
“How much will it cost me to get you off of the couch?”
Pete shook his head, and sat up to face me. “How much you got in your wallet?
I had five dollars on me, but Pete came up with a better plan. We would see who could stay on the couches longer this weekend. First man up had to relinquish the comfortable couch for a month, and that man would get the five dollars.
“Bring it on, bitch!” I knew I had this.
We gave each other fifteen minutes to grab supplies and hit the bathroom. Then it was on.
That first night wasn’t too bad. We watched a lot of TV, and just had a good time, but the next morning I woke up realizing that Mother Nature wasn’t just calling, she was breaking the door down with a sledge hammer.
I scanned the room for something I could relieve my bladder into, and saw Pete’s coffee cup. Let’s just say that he’s more of a power drink kind of guy now.
Our little supply of Little Debbie snack cakes and Slim Jims were gone by mid day, so we decided to order a pizza.
It’s hard enough to convince the pizza guy to come on in, but when he doesn’t speak English at all, it is impossible. (Side note: Is it strange to anyone else how some one who doesn’t speak English can clearly understand the amount of money you are giving them, and they get a little pissed when you stiff them on the tip?)
After leaving our pizza’s on the front step Pete and I decided to call a friend, any one, to come over and bring our pepperoni bounty inside for us. After a half hour of voice mails we broke down and called Steve, our former roommate.
Steve smells like a poop sandwich.
Of course he was home, and was happy to come over for a movie marathon. When he arrived, Steve was good enough to bring in our pizzas, Pete was nice enough to remind Steve that he smelt like crap, and Steve left crying. Have to keep the status quo, people.
This food delivery nonsense kept up for the next two days. Finally Sunday night our roommate, Erick, came home and forced us both to stand and clean up the living room after he tripped over a bucket labeled “Steve” (You figure it out.)
The good news was that I left the couch last, so I won the bet and the rights to the comfortable couch for a month. The bad was that I had spent $85 on food for that weekend, but at least I have my couch.