Couples Therapy Recap: Bowling Virgins and Shanik


By eyediosmio | | 9:58 am | 20 Comments

After that weird detour, we can now focus on - of course - Courtney and Doug. He’s such an idiot. The thing we should never forget folks, is that he is an actor. Not a very good actor, but an actor nonetheless. So anytime we see him making a greand gesture of love for Courtney or attempting to have a breakthrough, don’t trust it.

Case in point – he decides that since he is so despondent with not having his wife around, that he is going to draw a mural and tells us that he finds art healing and therapeutic and I barf a little.  What. An. Ass.  What he draws is so immature and childish, it’s just mind blowing.  And also incredibly revealing regarding the true nature of their relationship.

Nik, upon seeing the room once again speaks for us as he says that it resembles a “child’s room” and that he has to leave because it’s creepy. Right on, Nik.

Is this a nursery or a grown married man’s bedroom?   

Nik immediately goes to tell Shayne about his discovery and is so tickled by the absurdity of naming yourself as a couple, he suggests they have a moniker, too.  He declares them “Shanik,” I call them delightful.  Seriously, these two were really amusing each other.  I also liked how Shayne was watering the lawn with her weird ass ponytails in. 

We may be disfunctional, but we’re not as weird as they are! 

 And now my friends, for the part of the show we’ve all been waiting for, Dr. J finally addresses the Lolita in the room. 

Dr. J brings our favorite couple to hate in to finally FINALLY do something about the ridiculous situation that is/is not Courtney’s dress.  She says this:

“After much careful thought and consideration, I’ve decided to implement a dress code.”

She also says that her outfits are a distraction, it’s not fair to others in the house, and also that her identity is so tied to what she wears she’d like to get her out of that comfort zone as well.

Courtney, of course gets defensive.  Blames it on the others in the house for it being their issue not hers, and again reiterates (bullshits) that she saves many lives by airing out her vagina in her toddler wear on the regular. 

Doc barely holds back the hysterical laughter at this vapid peageant girl answer and challenges her to dig deeper, but to no avail. 

Whoreteny says she won’t wear cotton sweat pants, but she’s open to tweaking (I bet she is),

Dr. J isn’t having it.  She breaks it down as such:  No bare midriff, boobs coming out, and her skirts are long enough so that when she sits down her underwear is not showing.  And I am so horrified that this actually has to be a suggestion.  That for the past week and a half they’ve been flashed her lady bits.  Even Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are like, Girrrrrrrrl, get some self respect and put your pants on!

eyediosmio

I'm a part time writer, full time wife and Doberman wrangler in steamy South Florida.  I try to keep my sanity by watching loads of reality tv so I can feel better about myself.  It's a lazy way to maintain my moral compass, but I'm too lazy to drive to church every Sunday. 

20 Comments

  1. 1
    merry
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Courtney claimes she was a virgin before marriage. I claim I’m a fairy princess. Funny how claiming stuff doesn’t make it true.

    This girl disgusts me with her total lack of respect for herself and other people. I find myself feeling for Simon and Alex and for Nik and Shayne: these couples actually seem to have real feelings for each other and are making an effort with therapy. I also feel some sympathy for Tiny, but she’s contributed in large part to the bad situation. (Also, a grown woman who goes by “Tiny”? I can’t help thinking she’d have more backbone if she used a name that didn’t literally minimize her. That can’t be her legal name and it’s so ridiculous.)

  2. 2
    caligal
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    Courtney portrays herself as she thinks a grown woman would, if said grown woman was filming a porno 24/7. Girl is going to have an ugly, rude awakening one day. I hope the cameras are around to capture that moment.

  3. 3
    Honeybee
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    I don’t want to condone her actions, because her behavior is innappropriate. However if we consider for even just a fraction of a second if she didn’t look the way she does (clothing and behavior) the reaction to her would be completely different. Instead of calling her a skank or a whore…we would be focusing on Doug and she would be viewed as a child which she is. She would have NEVER been on this show to beging with.

    Admittingly I have a problem with her and how she presents herself. If she was a real life person that I saw in public or knew, or saw in a bar…I am sure I would be acting disturbed, bothered, and snarky (its just how me and the girls roll). I also think that she is more manipulative than she lets on. I think Doug although a creeper, is living out some twisted fantasy. In all their freak show is going to have a terrible ending. Give it a few years.

  4. 4
    considerthis
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    LOVE the fact that Dr. Jen has laid down an ultimatum with Courtney. Let’s see if her lust for the camera is bigger than her lust for attention (dressing) now that she is being forced to choose. Reminds me of the phrase “If a tree falls in the forrest does it make a sound” “If an attention whore dresses in the dark does anybody care?”

    While we are on the topic of dressing – Alex ditch the Joan Rivers QVC jewelry – not working for ya. Tiny – do you own ANYTHING with sleeves or some dumbells in which to tone those arms – firm up or cover up. Shane whiole I give you an A for effort – time to retire the Gucci cloth belt as it really doesn’t go with every outfit you own.

  5. 5
    featherhead
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    Courtney is totally wearing the pants in that relationship and when she is done ruining his life, he’s going to be a bunny boiler. Who you are at 16/17 is not the person you’re going to be at 26/27. There is such an age difference that there is no room for them to grow and change together. I don’t see her sticking around with him once the cameras are gone.

  6. 6
    ecthelion
    Posted October 31, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    I thought the whole unrequited love thing was bizarre too, I am wondering if they know what unrequited means? I mean the definition is that one person loves another and the feeling is not mutual and that is not what that bizarre story told so who knows? I think everyone was confused and wondering what the purpose was as well.

  7. 7
    Mimo
    Posted November 1, 2012 at 7:54 am

    Are there any children of the early seventies watching and reading? I pulled out an old photo album from when I was 17/18 and throw in 7″ stilettos and it might appear that I had borrowed Courtney’s wardrobe. We were all about short shorts, micro mini’s, bare midriffs and low riding pants; we just wore them with platform shoes rather than the stilettos.

  8. 8
    Sloth
    Posted November 1, 2012 at 8:49 am

    It might have been close but I don’t recall seeing many with skirts so short their ass cheeks were literally hanging out in the Seventies.

  9. 9
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted November 1, 2012 at 10:23 am

    Marsha Brady, Courtney is not.

    Unless, Mimo you were off to Studio 54 in which case, mad props!

  10. 10
    Mimo
    Posted November 1, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Actually, the only reason my ass cheeks didn’t show was that most of my clothes were home made (Simplicity patterns) and I usually made a matching pair of underwear for the dresses and skirts. I hadn’t remembered how short the dresses were. My brother-in-law was stunned and said I’m not allowed to take his daughter shopping. lol

  11. 11
    Posted November 1, 2012 at 11:14 am

    @Mimo: my Mother used to make her own hot pants (Simplicity patterns) and dresses, too! But they were very short. The serious problem here is not that they are short, revealing (because they are) it’s the type of clothes she’s wearing. Those are only bought in stripper stores.

    I am constantly torn regarding Courtney, too b/c on the one hand she is obviously manipulative, but she’s also a kid. Doug is a creeper, but he’s also wrapped around her finger. It’s the weirdest situation and at it’s most basic unhealthy and gross.

    Did you all see last night’s episode? Minicap going up soon, but suffice it to say she does NOT redeem herself.

  12. 12
    SarahRita
    Posted November 1, 2012 at 11:17 am

    While I think Doug is such a creep, I can’t help but feel a slither of sympathy for him. He obviously has some very real issues, and really does live in his own fantasy world. It’s sick and he needs a different kind of therapy.

    I love Shayne and Nik, I really enjoyed that moment between them when they came up with “shanik”. I do feel that there is something real between them. Shayne is a self-absorbed brat, but she has some funny one liners.

  13. 13
    labowner
    Posted November 1, 2012 at 11:38 am

    Honoeybee – “if she was a real life person.” Too funny.

    Sadly, I see tons of chicks out here in California dress just like Courtney. Usually the B&T crowd.

  14. 14
    Posted November 1, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    @labowner – you know I live in Miami and on South Beach the women don’t wear that little clothes. Okay, okay sometimes they do but they are earning a living.

    @Sarahrita – I agree re: Shanik. That segment made me like them so much, they obviously have a friendship/love there and it was probably the most real moment on reality tv.

  15. 15
    Patty
    Posted November 1, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    I thought one of Doug’s issues was that he wanted Courtney to dress less revealingly? I thought I saw that on one of the earlier shows, but I could be wrong because I can barely remember yesterday!

  16. 16
    labowner
    Posted November 1, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    Eye the sleezy nylons/stockings are usually the only difference between some in the B&T crowd and the working girls. :(

  17. 17
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted November 1, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    It really is about power. Who has the power in a family?

    The infant.

    When parents can begin to civilize a child, that is when the power shift begins and the parents gain control.

    Power in an adult relationship is toxic. When responsibility is shared there is neither need nor desire for power. Don’t see much of that here, but there is hope for at least one couple.

  18. 18
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted November 3, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    I’m so behind on my shows! Once again, however, I have to comment on a show with another episode’s mini or full recap up…my bad.

    BUT..@featherhead I had an almost *physical* reaction when I read what you wrote about not being the same person you are are at sixteen or seventeen as you are ten years (or more) later. I think the reaction came because I’ve kept journals since I was fifteen, and when every few years I peruse the old ones, every time, I am absolutely disgusted by who I was at a young age. I realize I was just a kid and now I’m pushing forty, but wow. Do we EVER change!

    I hope that poor, misguided girl has the opportunity to do so.

  19. 19
    darlingclementine
    Posted November 4, 2012 at 11:11 am

    Right on about courtney being a peer… she is not even close to being a peer to those other women!

    I still think one of the reasons Shayne gets so upset at Courtney is bc of her previous step-mom Sauna Sand or whatever. I feel for Shayne so much! I went to her dad’s wiki page and man her life must have been an ever changing landscape of who was around. Also they probably put a big emphasis on looks and the appearance of things in a hollywood household like that. I can see why she would get so insecure!

  20. 20
    Lillie Lower
    Posted January 7, 2013 at 5:07 am

    This is an interesting show. I haven’t actually seen even one episode of this show but I heard a lot about it. I’ll check it out one of these days because I might actually like it. :)

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