Couples Therapy Minicap: Please Put on Some Pants

Couples Therapy

By eyediosmio | Saturday, October 27, 2012 | 10:11 am | 24 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Alex is still feeling the pain after that major ass splat, or she’s listening to Doug and Courtney’s pretend problems about their pretend relationship, which is it?  Hmmmmm?

Hi Gasmii!  I owe you all an apology, apparently I’m behind a whole episode, so the next recap will be two in one for you so we can get caught up.  I have no excuse except maybe watching Whoreteny and Doug cavort seared a piece of my brain that controls counting.  Let’s go with that.

So real quick, I am going to go through this by couple:

1.  Silex:  I think you all were on the money with these two in that they came on the show for the paycheck, but ended up really having to address real issues in their relationship.  Episode 4 opens with Simon bringing Alex ice for her fanny, and she’s appreciative of the gesture.  The two of them open up in group about how when they met she was very young and readily gave him the reigns and now she feels controlled and lessened.  I say, ouchie.  By the way, I still don’t think Simon is gay.  I think he swings both ways, and I think he genuinely loves Alex and I still think they are a couple of weirdos.

2.  Shayne and Nik:  These two simultaneously crack me up, and break my heart.  Shayne continues to isolate Nik, and he says he’s lonely in this marriage.  And I say, ouch.  She finally reveals that she isolates due to never having a loving relationship with her parents growing up and I say, “Ah-ha!” and then want to kick Lorenzo Lamas in the nuts for ignoring his pretty daughter.  Jerk.  Also, Shayne wins the award for the most hilarious comment, which I’ll share with you later when we talk about:

3.  Whoretney and Chester the Molester:  These two just don’t quit.  Doug has a fake emotional breakdown over Courtney’s absence in couple’s yoga and he leaves the room. I think it’s because he farted and didn’t want to get blamed for it, he says he misses her.   I use Dr. J’s favorite word and call bullshit.  Also, Whoreteny has a booty call ex-boyfriend (who is 21!  How old was she when she hooked up with this guy?  Virgin, my ass.)  Also Dr. J lays down the law in episode 5 and demands that Whorteny wear appropriate clothes that don’t distract others and that you can’t see her underwear.  Dr. J really says this, and I am horrified, but also I’m just glad this girl wears underwear.

4.  Tiny and JoJo:  Dear lord, this is depressing.  Tiny threatens to leave JoJo if he doesn’t stop drinking and he knows it’s not true and tells her to pack a bag for him.   Dr. J tells him he’ll die if he doesn’t quit drinking and JoJo is honeybadger and clearly doesn’t give a shit.  I tear up a little because it’s so incredibly sad and JoJo is in complete denial and refuses to attend AA meetings and just says he’ll “try,” which means he snuck a bottle into Couples Therapy.

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eyediosmio

I'm a part time writer, full time wife and Doberman wrangler in steamy South Florida.  I try to keep my sanity by watching loads of reality tv so I can feel better about myself.  It's a lazy way to maintain my moral compass, but I'm too lazy to drive to church every Sunday. 

24 Comments

  1. 1
    SurrealGirl
    Posted October 27, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    I like Tiny. I feel bad for her and JoJo. It’s pretty clear that JoJo doesn’t see how his drinking affects his marriage. While JoJo loves Tiny, he just doesn’t love her THAT much. The problem is that JoJo doesn’t really want help because he won’t address his drinking. By not talking about it, JoJo thinks it will magically go away.

    Whoretny and Doug. A right circus act. Virgin my ass. Shame on this “treatment facility” for not having Whoretny dress appropriately from day one. I’m betting in one of the future episodes, Whoretny will “forget” to wear clothes at all, just like she “forgets” that she is married.

  2. 2
    LadyStardust
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 12:28 am

    Didn’t they ask Courtney if she had a sexual relationship with the ex-boyfriend and she said something along the lines of, “sort of – yes”. So yeah, I’m not buying the virgin story either. She is probably one of those girls that think as long as they’re a “technical virgin” (no p-in-v) then they can self righteously proclaim to be pure and virginal.

    And her absolute refusal to follow a dress code (which I guess we’ll see if they actually does or not next week — whoooo what a cliffhanger…) drove me nuts. She saves lives by dressing like a slut?? What the fuck? She’s standing up for people who want to dress like a cheap hooker but they can’t? What the hell was she even talking about? There’s no way she was allowed to wear that shit in high school, so did this start after she married Douche? Speaking of high school, I’m guessing she dropped out to get married? I wish someone who went to school with her would come out and talk about what she was like before all this crap happened. I think that would be REALLY interesting.

  3. 3
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 1:12 am

    @LadyStardust I don’t think she went to school. When they got married a bunch articles said she was a singer and model.

  4. 4
    SurrealGirl
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 6:23 am

    http://www.evilbeetgossip.com/2011/12/16/courtney-stodden-was-too-sexy-n-hot-for-high-school-has-a-crush-on-john-mccain/

  5. 5
    SurrealGirl
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 6:25 am

    Apparently she never did go to high school. Quelle surprise!!

    http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/doug-hutchison-courtney-stodden-controversial-marriage-exclusive/t/story?id=14073130

  6. 6
    darlingclementine
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    i missed the part about the 21 yr old bf and i wish i didnt!

    shayne and nik, i think i love them at this point! i was so sad for her when she finally was able to open up about why she is the way she is. And i laughed so hard when they were going back and forth about Dourtney.

  7. 7
    SurrealGirl
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    I still can’t figure out how Whoretny saves lives…

  8. 8
    Robin Robin
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    She saves lives because when her and her husband appear on Couples Therapy, pedophiles across the nation that may otherwise be out there prowling, are instead glued to their tv’s. As if the Whoretny and Doug saga is some kind of love story about how acceptable it is to rape a child.

    No matter how hard she tries to look like a grown up woman she isn’t. She is just a kid. I have clothing older than her. The folks that produce this show are taking advantage of her, too. They are all pimping her out, her husband included, and it is sad because she thinks that she is in control, on top of her game and gaining; when the truth is she is losing something everyday that she can’t get back. Even sadder is that she has nobody around her that seems to even care.

    Robin

  9. 9
    ecthelion
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    SurrealGirl

    Thank you! I am wondering the same thing and even more am wondering why no one has asked her to explain just how she is “saving lives”. And Doug with his “profoundly satisfying” chalk drawling, the man really has no clue of what an incredible fool he is making of himself. Blech to both of them.

  10. 10
    (J)ustPeachy (J)ustPeachy
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    Haven’t watched the show, but I have been keeping up with the recaps, so thank you!
    I think Courtney will not put on normal clothes because she will look like a little kid.
    We will see. Would you please post some pics of FWB and these outfits you speak of?
    Saw the clip of the fall on The Soup and it was hilarious.
    If not for that show, I would not even know of Courtney.
    She did a ton of skits on there last year.
    I always admired her shamelessness,
    but I disagree with her behavior on CT.

  11. 11
    LadyStardust
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 11:35 pm

    Thanks for the links…so I’m assuming she was home-school at least for a year or so? Don’t you legally have to be 16 to drop out?

    Forgive me if I’m wrong — I grew up in West Virginia and we didn’t have middle school, so I’m not exactly sure when most people start high school. For us it was 7th grade, but I think the norm is 9th, right? Legally, we had to go to school until age 16 which is somewhere in 10th grade depending on when your birthday falls.

  12. 12
    Robin Robin
    Posted October 29, 2012 at 1:38 am

    I appologise. I should have never said “As if the Whoretny and Doug saga is some kind of love story about how acceptable it is to rape a child.”

    I known damn well that rape has nothing to do with any type of love and someone who rapes a child is a whole different beast altogether. Intellectually I know that, but emotionally I keep harking back to the fact that this show is giving a certain amount of validity to a child molester. Right before our eyes.

    I hate the fact that there probably ARE pedo perverts out there that are watching this show and view it as a great stepping stone for their sickness. After all CT is giving screentime to a child molester while at the same time exploiting his victim. I do not put it past a pervert to want to be the next Doug. And the thought scares me.

    Again, sorry for my big blunder. It was a stupid thing to say.

    Take care, Robin

  13. 13
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted October 29, 2012 at 7:06 am

    @Robin, much as I hate to be serious, your apology forced me to consider a very valid point. The word rape has become a knee-jerk term, much as the word bully, to get people all excited and get angry with the user.

    There isn’t really a term that adequately fits this monstrous couple. But the behavior has been going on for quite a while, and it began long before Whoretney met Doug, or even the 21 year old.

    When did this girl become so hyper-sexualized, and where were the parents? She was too sexy in school? Who condoned that behavior? Who allowed her to wear the clothes, act provacatively, date a man far too old for her? Date at all? Marry a man old enough to be her grandfather?

    It all goes back to the parents. Yes, as a parent I resent being blamed for every damned thing my kids do, but I realize that I am accountable for the actions of minors, and misbehavior not only has repercussions, but lessons to prevent the behavior in the future.

    I can do nothing to stop the behavior? I seek professional help for the child and the family.

    I dot care what you call what is going on here, it is wrong, wrong, wrong, and this show, along with every other medium that showcases these sick people, is exploiting a situation that need to stop.

    You were so right about this becoming a benchmark for bad behavior. People who sell their children for sex are punished by the law. What weren’t this child’s parents? Didn’t they sell her by marrying her off to a pedophile?

    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

    *steps off soapbox and inhales*

  14. 14
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted October 29, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    @Robin: Technically it’s statutory rape. At it’s basic level this relationship was predatory from the beginning. So it’s not only unhealthy it’s immoral and just barely legal. So while your use of the word “rape” may be hyperbole, the gist of your meaning is not lost on me and I was not offended.

    @LadyStardust: I think the reason we even have dress codes in schools is to prevent this type of ridiculousness. I am so sure if there was an absence of a dress code, I would have had several girls walking around in barely outfits such as this. Because their immature minds had no boundaries. The thing is she’s a little girl swimming in a big girl pond meaning that her young brain has not developed as fast as her body and the choices she is making reflect that clearly.

    Also? PARENT FAIL. Barf.

    @JustPeachy: On The Soup they used to read her tweets and I would seriously die laughing. They are so ridiculous and hypersexualized and made no sense. She would try and tweet everything in a sexual manner. “Taking the sexiest dump right now, winky face”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXLn-UMCCEg

    http://www.eonline.com/videos/178225/the-soup-blog-courtney-stodden-s-super-bowl-sexcapades

  15. 15
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted October 29, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    @ROBIN, you only need to apologize if it was a legitimate rape. Or at least that’s what I hear the tv and what not.

  16. 16
    labowner
    Posted October 29, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    Robin – sadly she is way too old for pedophiles. She is settling in the great vast wasteland of perverts.

  17. 17
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 29, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Well said everyone. I have so many of the same questions you raise and more. Where did this child grow up for starters?

    How did she ever meet her husband? Who allowed her to get plastic surgery at such a young age and never mind those clothes!

    Look, I get that people, parents, whatever are desperate for attention in this tecno-instaculture we’re in but, I see this more as a “fill the void” opportunity. NOT to say this isn’t inappropriate in the least but, I guess when I watch this I keep thinking, ‘damn she is trying so hard to be Pamela Anderson’ or some such over sexed bombshell but with a pagent punch. Her own little twist.

    To me, she was clearly coached. From what age, is the real question I have. Maybe from jumpstreet and that disgusts me. I find this almost the opposite, ALMOST, in that Courtney is the predator and Doug is the prey. (disclaimer I know and recognize all the wrongness that this situation is) He thinks he is winning but in reality he will be cast aside soon and she will move up the actor food chain to who? Spencer of Speidi fame or Colin Ferrell (sp?) . Fred Durst?

    She is a black widow spider laying in wait of her prey to continually build on her percieved fame (infamy). The fascade that she is saving lives from bullies and the pagentry is a new twist on an old theme for sure but, the formula is always this: Sex sells.

    On another note, I do heart Nik and Shayne. I hope she gets her act together. I truly think of all the couples they are star crossed lovers that need to untangle their mess.

  18. 18
    SurrealGirl
    Posted October 29, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    I read an article which said that Whoretny was bullied at school for bring “too beautiful,” she claims. Apparently she was home schooled by mom and dad.

    As for the “saving lives” bit, their marriage can be viewed as a cautionary tale of pedophelia. Man chats with an underage teenager online. Man lures teen with bullshit promises of fame and fortune. Man convinces teen that he loves her and needs her. Underage teen falls for this and agrees to meet in person. Enter Chris Hanson of “To Catch a Predator”. The end.

    I’m still waiting for that last part…

  19. 19
    labowner
    Posted October 29, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    Gypsy I – Anna Nicole is the path I her choosing. At least Pam has been somewhat accepted by the mainstream.

    Surreal between the connected family in Texas that was exposed on TCAP and his being busted for an affair, we will never get to see TCAP again. :(

  20. 20
    Honeybee
    Posted October 30, 2012 at 8:15 am

    Whoretney continues to dress the way she does because it is the only thing that makes people pay attention to her. She is nothing without this image, and she knows it. Everything about her is calculated.

    What I feel so bad about is in truth she is ripped to shreads for being a stupid girl. Yes I am calling her names and saying horrible things about her, but she is just a girl. Her parents and Doug should be in jail. As complicit as she is in the decisions she has made, she is a child. Children don’t have the knowlege or experiance to make life-long decisions, thus she couldn’t get married without parental consent. Whatever excuse Doug wants to throw out there, they are excuses. He was a grown man who went after a child. As an adult he should have made the adult decision to wait. No matter what she said, or how much she protested, he should have waited.

  21. 21
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 30, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Lab-good call. Either one makes sense to me… she’s trying to fill the void in Hollywood that is the Blonde Bombshell bimbo.

    Honeybee-I’m not sure Doug could have waited. I see your point but, a man that does what he did is probably not the best at self discipline.

    This is left of center but wasn’t Priscilla Pressley 16 when she married Elvis?

  22. 22
    susanb
    Posted October 30, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    I only saw part of this episode when she was told to cover up. I was actually suprised at how articulate she was while arguing with a grownup. She is fairly well spoken and has stood up to those other women better than you would think a 17 year old girl would without screaming or yelling or calling them names. I would however like to find out how many underage skanks she has saved by dressing like a moron and marrying a pervert. @labowner you are correct, she is way to old for peds, definitly into the minds of pervs and dirty old men!!! That one guy Nik seems really uncomfortable with the way she dresses, it makes him feel like a creep looking at a young girl like that, but how could you really avoid it! She is not subtle.

  23. 23
    Mimo
    Posted October 30, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    @ Gypsy – I’m thinking that she was like 14 when they met and 17 when she moved to the United States to be with Elvis. She started out living with his folks but when she became “legal” she moved in with him. She was in her twenties when they finally married. Elvis was only 10 years older than her, not the 40 we’re seeing here. How do I know this? Even dead he is the King. (Much to my husband’s chagrin, I have a little “shrine” to him in my living room.)

  24. 24
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 30, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    Thanks Mimo, My auntie and mother are huge Elvis fans so I remembered hearing something about her being young…obviously it’s nothing THIS creepy.

    Safe to say these two are ‘stealing the show’ eh?

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