Dance Moms: Candied Assles

Yikes, Gasmi.  We’ve got so much to cover!  I don’t know how many of you saw the comments from my last recap, but for those of you that didn’t…..my apologies for the recap skip last week.  I had a massive brain fart and actually thought I had done it until you guys left comments asking where it was.  So, yeah, sleep deprivation is no joke, I guess.

So we’re going to cover Vegas and Hollywood all in one because we have got a shit ton to talk about!  Let’s jump right in, k?

We join Jabby who tells us they’re in Las Vegas to compete in the Thunderstruck competition.  I have never even heard of this competition.  Taking a look at their website it makes sense that I haven’t heard of them since they seem to have comps only in the Midwest and West.  No matter, I’m sure there will still be PLENTY to talk about.

Like what the fuck is Theatre-Karate?!?!?!

Anyone know?  No?  I now want to walk around warning people not to make me go Theatre-Karate on their asses.  I anticipate much confusion; it will be grand.

Anyway, Jabby tells us Vegas is super important.  Jabby is like the people at my job that tell me the need everything ASAP; that phrase no longer has any meaning coming from them/her.

The girls enter into a borrowed studio to rehearse.  But first we have to go through our pyramid/mom bashing ceremony.  Jabby wants to reflect on last week’s competition; some of them did well, but as a whole it wasn’t so great.  Bringing Brandon in was supposed to help them but that dance turned out to be a big ole mess.

Is that a dig?

YUP.

This week she needs them to be flawless; I love that Jabby always gives them attainable goals.  We jump into the pyramid ceremony and the first thing Jabby does is reveal Vivi’s picture.  Hey, I thought she quit?

Was that really necessary?  Poor Vivi, it’s not her fault her mom’s an asshole.  FREE VIVI!  Jabby talks about how Vivi’s going to suffer because of her mom’s behavior and how Cathy didn’t follow the rules, and she thinks this should be a lesson to all of them and to all of their moms.

I’ll cross out everyone’s face but Maddie’s!  Just try me!

Jabby bitches more about Cathy to us saying she quit, blah, blah, blah.  WE KNOW.  Jabby says it’s that old adage; she can talk about her moms, but don’t anyone else talk about them.  I still don’t understand how that translates into crossing out Vivi’s face.

I’m not going to get an answer on that because we’re moving on to the next person in the pyramid.  I know you’ll be shocked to hear that it’s Mackenzie.  Why is she even in the pyramid?  Half the time she doesn’t even compete and when she does, even if she does well she stays at the bottom because she’s the youngest.  Luckily she doesn’t seem to be bothered by it.

Jabby tells her to practice lots this week because she’ll definitely be coming next time.  Mackenzie adorably tells us she could give two shits if she dances; she just likes to hang out by the pool.  LOL, love her!

Of course Paige is next in the line-up: Jabby thinks Paige’s performance is good but she’s not winning or placing in the overalls.  So this week Jabby will be giving her a solo.  I’m confused.  She’s not winning, so she IS getting a solo?

Paige is followed by Nia and Jabby reminds us all that she won in her category (possibly because she was the only one in it).  Jabby thinks she should do that all the time which is why she’ll enter Nia in the most obscure category at each competition from now on.  She hopes this win now makes Nia’s mom trust her and not question her every move.

If you’ve got something to say, you can say it to ME.

Brooke gets a you did great BUT….she didn’t make the top three.  Doesn’t matter that the other girls in her category are older; she should blow everyone away.  She’s getting another solo this week and Jabby says she’s been talking about Cirque for years, here’s the city to show Cirque what you can do.

And at the top of the pyramid…….Chloe!

What’s the catch?

Since everyone’s always bitching that no one else can win because of Maddie, Jabby’s giving her the week off (from solos; she’s still in the group number) and so Chloe will have her moment to shine.  Oh, and she’d BETTER shine; Jabby wants her to WIN.  No excuses.  Christi thinks Jabby is doing this to set Chloe up to fail.

Did you know this competition is really important for them to win?  Well, Melissa’s here to tell you just in case you forgot.  IMPORTANT.  Very, VERY, important.

Time to talk about the group number; since they are in Sin City the concept of the number is sin.  It was going to be seven deadly sins, but as there are not seven of them, Jabby’s adjusted it to be Sinful.  Great.  I can’t wait to see what Jabby has them do for Lust.

Moms are dismissed and go off for their weekly bitch session about the pyramid ceremony.  Kelly’s not happy to see her kids in the bottom again, but she’s being a bit melodramatic because Brooke was second highest in the pyramid.  I get she’s upset about Paige, but poor Paige hasn’t had solos either so it’s sort of a Mackenzie for her, isn’t it?

Meanwhile in Ohio……..

Why do all these dance studios look like such depressing places to be?

Oh crap, we’re getting a Candied Apple version of the mom talk.  Cathy starts out by telling them she’s so happy to be back; she was splitting her time because she wanted Vivi to get a little more experience because she’s on that brink of getting titles.  Um……is Cathy delusional?

Don’t answer that.

Cathy tells her dancers and moms that she doesn’t understand how Jabby wins everywhere she goes (she doesn’t) because her dancers have a tone of technical issues.  So Cathy is going to have her dancers compete with Jabby’s Hollywood.  I would say this is producer manipulation, but Cathy is actually crazy enough to have come up with this on her own.

She’s bringing three dancers…..

How high tech!

Cathy tells us it will be artistic vengeance.  They will say they came, they saw, they kicked apples.

Group dance rehearsals.  Jabby reminds us that the dance is about sins and each girl will be portraying a sin.  Of course this is Jabby so the sin they get seems like a little jab against them in some way.  Brooke gets sloth, Paige is gluttony, Nia gets greed, Maddie is wrath, and Chloe gets envy.

The only mom not pissed about their kids’ assignment is Melissa.  Most pissed?

What else is new?

No time to be too pissed though because a real live former Vegas showgirl has stopped by for a visit!  She teaches the girls how to walk like a showgirl and then lets them try on some headpieces and brings in a real live showgirl in costume.  To stand around with her hands on her hips.  WOO HOO!!!!!!

Then Liz talks to the girls about being a showgirl and how there was a caveat in her contract that said she had to dance topless.  Liz obviously thinks she is talking to a room full of midgets, not eight, nine, and thirteen year old girls.  Jabby is appropriately mortified; even she knows there are some things you shouldn’t say to kids.

Later, Christi and Kelly meet up and Kelly is pissed when she finds out Christi just picked up Chloe’s costume.  Kelly still doesn’t have hers and is sick of always been the one that doesn’t get a costume on time or gets screwed on choreography time.  I think it’s interesting here because for all of Christi’s bitching and moaning her kid actually gets a lot more time than Kelly’s two girls.

Maybe I should spend less time complaining to her…….Naaaaaah.

They decide they have to do something fun while they’re in Vegas.  With these two ya just know there’s going to be heavy drinking involved.

Told ya!

While the moms are getting loaded, Jabby takes the kids out for ice cream.  What’s seems like a really sweet thing at first quickly becomes yet another session for Jabby to bitch about the moms TO THEIR KIDS.  Completely inappropriate.

Your moms don’t pay me enough to put up with their crap

As if the kids have any control (or should have any control) over what their moms say and do.  UGH.

It’s the next day and Jabby is rehearsing Paige’s solo while the moms lounge by the pool.  Wow.  She actually got them out of the studio?  Holly says she thinks that they all need to start putting down their feet when it comes to Jabby.  Yeah, right.

There are guys at the pool and they hit on the ladies a bit knowing that they’ll probably end up on TV.  Also, they work in a peepshow and they can smell cougar a mile away.  They seems to be paying a lot of attention to Holly who tells us she’s doesn’t know where they came from but she’d like them to go back there. Kelly on the other hand, wants tickets to go see them.

During Brooke’s rehearsal her shoulder is still bothering her.  It seems like it keeps popping out and the assistant working with her tells her to pop it back in and get through it.  Kelly tells her to pop it back in as well.  I don’t think a thirteen year old should be having this many physical issues, do you?

Later Chloe and Christi sit down for a totally unscripted talk.

Chloe tells her mom that Jabby says she better win because Maddie isn’t in this one.  Christi tells her she doesn’t have to win because Maddie isn’t competing; she’s Chloe, she’s different and Christi wouldn’t trade Chloe for a thousand Maddies.  She also pinkie swears to not let Jabby continue to treat Chloe that way.  I hope she means that.

Looks like she does because a couple of seconds later she heads out to Jabby’s room to give her the what-for.  Jabby is not happy to have a mom show up unannounced at her door – she’s not being paid for this, ya know!  As ridiculous as I think THAT statement is, I do think Christi should have at least called her before showing up at her door.  Of course, then Jabby would have told her to go fly a kite so……..carry on, Christi.

Christi tells Jabby she’s incredibly rude to her daughter and she just asks her to treat Chloe with some respect.  Jabby says everything is fine except for when Christi is there; Chloe loves being there when it’s just her and Jabby.  She tells Christi that she has a problem with her kid.  Christi yells that Jabby always sets Chloe up to fail and says why do you tell her to be like Maddie.

Why wouldn’t she want to be like Maddie?!?!  I want to be like Maddie!

A ha.  Maybe Maddie is the kid Jabby wished she could have been.  That talent, maybe she wouldn’t have formed a dance company at fourteen; she would have actually been DANCING.

Anyway, they continue to go back and forth and then Jabby makes a dig about Christi’s parenting and Christi is pissed.  Christi wants to know what Jabby’s expectations for Chloe are this week; she expects her to win.  Christi calms down a little and Jabby says she saw a different side of Christi.

I still want her to STFU though.

Competition day.

They start out the day with tardiness and Jabby is pissed.  Not much time to dwell on that because it’s time for the group number.  They seem to do a good job, but at awards they only get seventh place.  Of course Jabby is pissed because she thinks they should have been in the top three.  And if they had been third she would say they should be first.

Back in the dressing room Paige gets ready for her solo and Kelly is pissed that she still hasn’t seen her kid’s costume.  Jabby hasn’t seen the finished product yet either.  Paige puts it on and it’s too big.  Jabby also tells Kelly she’s going to need a headpiece.  In fifteen minutes.  Kelly wants to know why this always happens to her kids.  She’s sick of it.

I will make crazy eyes at you until I get an answer missy!

She doesn’t even have a chair!  She’s using a hotel chair.  If it was anyone else they’d have a hot pink fucking chair decorated with rhinestones or some shit!!

Ooooooo…..she said the f word!

Jabby tells us she almost fell off her chair when Kelly used the f word.  Yeah, I wouldn’t be so happy if my kid was in that room; I may curse like a sailor a lot of the time, but not in front of my kid.  Kelly says they should just pull the number.  Jabby asks Paige if that’s what she really wants.  Yes.

What else is she going to say?

Jabby makes Paige go with her to pull the number which is a really crappy thing to do.  Of course Jabby tells us it’s not about the costume at all; she thinks Paige is afraid of not doing well against Chloe so she doesn’t want to compete.  Huh??  Did anyone else think that?  I think Jabby has been huffing ice cream again.

Kelly goes out into the hallway to complain again about it always being her kid that’s the one getting screwed.  Fine, Jabby says, then just go get your costumes made yourself!  She’ll sketch them and Kelly can get them made.  Oh no, Kelly’s gonna sketch them too.  Oh no she isn’t!  Uh huh.  Un uh.  Fine!  Then she can hire a choreographer too!  Done!  Jabby doesn’t think Kelly will do all that herself, but Kelly seems bound and determined to do just that.  I guess we’ll have to wait and see how that one works out.

Time for Brooke to perform her solo.  She tells us her shoulder is still really bothering her and she’s on her hands a lot during the solo which really worries her.  Backstage she does a handstand before going on and her shoulder pops out.  She seems to get through it okay though; we’ll see how she does at awards.

We get a snippet of Nia’s solo and then it’s time for Chloe.  Christi tells Chloe that she had a talk with Jabby and tells Chloe to just go out there and worry about herself, not anyone else.  She really is a good dancer.

At awards Brooke places third and Chloe does not win first place overall.   Looks like she doesn’t place at all, but with this show you just never know.  Poor Chloe.  Jabby tells them she’s disappointed in all of them and tells them all they had better step it up.

That’s one down, Gasmi, but we’ve got another to go here….are you ready???  Let’s head out to Hollywood!

Guess what?  Jabby expects BIG things this week.  Good thing she can always count on herself to deliver that.  To make sure that happens Jabby rented out the same studio that Britney and Gaga rehearse in.  Yikes!  Hope someone went through with industrial grade disinfectant before the kids arrived!

Pyramid time.

The competition this week is iHollywood.  Never heard of this one either, but  don’t need to look it up to know that it’s another West coast comp.  Jabby tells them the competition here is going to be fierce; the kids here they will recognize from TV and movies; these kids audition all the time.

They will eat you for breakfast.  Or I might.  I’m really hungry.

Jabby tells us this competition is very small but it is no joke.  Then she tells Maddie that her mom is not there she chose to be somewhere else.  So Jabby’s got Maddie and Mackenzie this week while Melissa goes off to blow her boyfriend a bunch of times so he keeps paying for dance.

When Melissa blows, we all win.  And by all, I mean me.

You will be shocked to hear that Paige and Brooke are at the bottom of the pyramid.  Wanna know why, girls?  Because your mom had the nerve to talk back to Jabby.  DUH.  They will not be doing solos, they will only be in the group number.  She also tells us that she has made it clear to Kelly that if she enters her kids as independent soloists, they will be off the team.

I’m gonna do what I have to do.

Next in the pyramid are Mackenzie and Nia; this time around Jabby’s giving them a duet.  Chloe is second place again (sad horns) and Maddie is back on top again.  Jabby warns that people will be gunning for her; she is the one to beat.

Group rehearsal.  Jabby tells us again that Brooke and Paige will get cut from the number if Kelly tries to enter solos for them.  Meanwhile the ladies bitch about Jabby taking care of Maddie and Mackenzie and how they’ll get to do things the other kids won’t.  But they would NEVER leave their kids with Jabby!  So I guess it’s a moot point, right?

I will never be mute!

I said MOOT, Christi, not moot.  Oh, never mind.

After speculating over what Melissa is doing with her boyfriend (they come to the same conclusion that I did), Holly wonders how Kelly feels about her kids being at the bottom.  How do you think she feels, Holly?  I mean, does she expect Kelly to say she’s super excited that her kids are being punished because she had the nerve to talk back?  Kelly has already looked into getting a choreographer and she’s hoping that it works out.

Jabby tells the girls she has a big surprise for them; she’s brought in a special guest to help them get pumped up for their routine.  This visitor knows everything about working that stage.  Let’s all welcome……

Oh fuckballs.  Shangela really IS here.

I don’t know why Jabby introduced her as LaQuifa, but whatevs.  Jabby says she really wanted Nia to see Shangela perform because she wants Nia to embrace her heritage.  Huh?  Holly says at least Shangela is not wearing an afro.  Please.  Even if she was it wouldn’t be jacked up like the Nia had.

Shangela teaches the girls the death drop and tells Nia that they’re going to add that move to the end of her solo and the audience will LOVE it.  She does seem to work well with the kids; hell, she’s nicer to them than Jabby is!

Over in Ohio, Cathy is rehearsing her dancers for the big showdown.  Vivi and Justice are working on their duet and Vivi looks as happy as ever to be dancing.

FREE VIVI!!!

Oh man.  That dance is a hot mess.  Cathy says she wants to show Jabby what her students are made of.  Oh honey, no one likes shit on a stick.  Then Cathy meets with her older dancer who she will be pitting against Chloe.  This girl looks too old to be going against Chloe, but maybe she is at the top of the age range and Chloe is at the bottom.  Or maybe it’s a set up by producers.  Probably the first one, right?

Cathy is using the same music for this kid’s solo that Jabby has used for Chloe.  She thinks it will psyche out Chloe and Jabby.

Back in Hollywood, Jabby gets a phone call during rehearsal.  Her mom is really sick and is in the hospital.  So of course the competition is cancelled and she’s flying to be with her mom, right?  We’ll have to wait to find out.

While we’re waiting, Paige is ready for her first rehearsal with hired choreographer, Mike Munich.  Kelly tells Mike how Jabby pushes her kid aside and that she really wants to get her some better choreography.

So……Are you paying me by cash or check?

Kelly, Mike could give a rat’s ass about your beef with Jabby.  Just pay him and you’ll get along fine!  She thinks Paige is nervous about time, but Mike reassures her it will be fine; after all, he’s danced with Gaga.

Ohio.  Cathy wants Justice and Vivi to kick some ass.  She says they have to prove to Jabby that she didn’t use Vivi to the best of her abilities.

I wish I was anywhere but here.

Hollywood.  Paige is rehearsing her solo and tells us she’s kind of nervous because Mike doesn’t know her like Jabby does and she’s afraid Jabby will be really mad at her.  They only have to day to learn the dance.

Cathy works with her dancer and tells us how awesome Taylor is and that she has a really good shot of winning.  Chloe rehearses, having no idea that Cathy is plotting her downfall.

Jabby has a quick talk with the moms about her mom being sick and it doesn’t look like she’s planning to go anywhere.  Wow.  I would be outta there so fast you guys; she has an assistant there so it’s not like she’d be completely abandoning them and I’d like to think that people would understand if she had to go be with her mom.

She jumps into rehearsing with Maddie and warns her that this one won’t be pretty and elegant like the others.  This time she’s doing a contemporary piece about a child who is being abused.  Good lord.  Isn’t that a bit much?  Jabby thinks Maddie can handle it.

Over in Paige’s rehearsal, she’s having a tough time with the routine that Mike is working on with her.  He says she is afraid of something.  He’s not sure what; it could be that she’s afraid of herself, or Jabby, or maybe the choreography itself since it’s so new to her.  Maybe she’s just not happy to be a pawn in the power struggle between her mom and Jabby!

She’s so upset she leaves rehearsal and goes into the bathroom to cry.  Kelly says she has never seen her like this.  And then tells Paige she won’t let her do it if she’s not ready.  She promises.

Maddie rehearses with Jabby and Jabby wonders who the hell wants to have a mediocre kid.  That’s a dig against Kelly and Paige and she thinks that when Paige gets on stage and forgets her dance, Kelly is really going to regret it.  She doesn’t have time for Kelly’s drama.

Kelly tells Jabby she wants her kids to be in the group number.  She wants them in the group number and to do solos as an independent.  Jabby tells her it doesn’t work that way; if she enters as an independent, she’s out.  They go back and forth on it and Jabby is not budging.  Kelly wants her kids to feel special; Jabby’s not here to make them feel special!  She’s here to make them dance!

No one ever makes me feel special!

Jabby takes Maddie out to lunch to talk about her career.  Maddie tells Jabby she wants to be on Broadway.  Jabby wonders if she wants to be in a movie or on TV; she thinks Maddie could go far.  She tells us it’s hard for her to be away from her mom and she calls to check in on her.  It sounds like her mom still isn’t doing great, but Jabby turns that into being about her and how the moms are such assholes and she does so much for them, blah, blah, same old, same old.

Competition day.  Jabby tells the girls in the dressing room that they should do so well out there that the kids after them should think it was the best performance of their life.  Um, Jabby?  How would they know?  It’s not like they know your kids or anything.

Cathy is in some other dressing room preparing her kids.

I think Vivi’s meditating on how to kill her mother.

Cathy walks into the Jabby dressing room, carrying a basket of what I can only imagine must be candy apples.  GROAN.  Jabby looks confused and slightly horrified, clearly wondering what the fuck Cathy is doing there.

Cathy introduces everyone to Justice (boy that Vivi’s dancing with) and Taylor who she claims is a three time title winner.  Christi gets that Cathy is pitting this kid against her kid and she just wishes everyone would leave her kid alone.  For once I don’t think she’s being melodramatic.

Holly is gracious even as she asks what Cathy’s doing there since it seemed like she was done with dance for the season.  Well, Cathy says, someone told her to bring it on, so consider it brought.  Cathy says they are here to perform fresh choreography, not stale tired choreography.  Jabby is annoyed by that and the two of them start a pissing match over who has more (or any) dancers working.

Bitch, I will flatten you.

Cathy leaves after telling them yet again that it has been brought, and Jabby’s girls seem unfazed by the idea that they are going up against Cathy’s dancers.  After all, they’ve seen Vivi dance.

As they’re getting the kids ready to dance, Kelly tells Holly that they only got thirty seconds of Paige’s dance done.  She doesn’t know how they’re going to be able to compete it.  Jabby’s ears have perked up during this exchange and she shouts out to Paige asking how her solo is; is she ready to compete it?

Kelly’s crying and says that the choreographer didn’t have enough time to finish the dances.  Jabby says she either needs to pull out of the group number or have them perform their crappy solo.  Kelly’s in tears and Jabby yells at her not to cry because it’s all her fault anyway.  Guess what?  Kelly pulls the number.

I sort of wish the solo thing had worked out better for Kelly; I would have loved seeing one of these moms REALLY stick to their guns on something.

Oh well, who cares about pulled solos when Maddie’s performing?  Jabby holds her hand as they walk through the lobby area because she wants everyone to know who Maddie is.  She tells us this number is controversial and she wondering if Maddie will be able to pull it off.

She tells Maddie she’s been consistently winning and consistently amazing.  She tells Maddie she’s inspired her to be a better teacher; this could mean big things for the rest of her life.  And then she asks Maddie to do this dance for her mom.  Not Maddie’s mom, JABBY’S mom.  Hey, no pressure, right Jabby?!?

If you don’t win, my mom will DIE!!!!!!

Now off you go.

Maddie does well with it and when she gets off stage she starts to cry.  But not because she thinks she didn’t do well; I think she got a little caught up in the emotions of the piece and didn’t know how to handle it.  Chloe is a good friend and gives her a hug.

Duet time.  Cathy is barking “smile, smile, smile” at Vivi and for the eleventy millionth time I wish someone would take that kid away from her.  Vivi and Justice take the floor and……..oh……..Gasmi……..

It is NOT GOOD.

Is she serious with that shit?

Jabby obviously is not threatened by Cathy’s cutting edge choreography.  Yikes!  If I was a parent at her studio I’d be thinking very strongly about going somewhere else.  Oh wait, I’d never sign up at Crazypants’ studio.

Do I need to tell you that Nia and Mackenzie wipe the floor with the Cady gang?  Did Cathy not realize that it was her kid that was holding back the skills in the duo with Mackenzie?  Of course this is a lady that is completely blind to the fact that her kid is miserable and doesn’t even want to dance.  I wonder how often Vivi prays to be an orphan.

Miss Hannigan looks like Mother Theresa compared to CrazyCathy.

Time for Taylor’s solo to the same song as Chloe!  It will be shocking!!

Jabby appears to be a little shocked and all the Jabby moms and kids look around at each other, but honestly?  Chloe doesn’t have anything to worry about next to Taylor.  That kid doesn’t even come close to being as good as Chloe.

Taylor

Chloe.

Any questions?  Does Cathy not see the difference?  I think she might need to ask her doctor to change her medication; it’s not working so good anymore.

We’ll have to wait to find out the results though because it’s time for the group routine.  Christi tells the girls they have to remember what LaQuifa taught them.  Is this pumps song another Shangela one?  Does anyone know?  I’ve never heard of it before and it sure sounds like it COULD be her singing.  I wonder who Shangela blew to get all this exposure on this show.  It’s a little tense while they’re watching because everyone is wondering if Nia is going to be able to pull off the death drop at the end.

She does.

You go Nia!!

Time for awards.  I’m on the edge of my seat wondering if Cathy’s dancers will triumph over Jabby’s.  Okay, I’m lying.  There’s no way they’re going to place better, if at all.

Duet Winner?  Mackenzie and Nia.  Junior solo?  Chloe.  How you like them apples, Cathy?

I just…..ate……a bug my pride

Maddie gets second place for her solo (SHOCKER!) and the group routine places third.  Jabby is not happy at all.  This is like a slap in her face.

Cathy comes over after awards to say congratulations to Jabby and the gang which is more than I thought she would do.  Let’s face it; they wouldn’t do the same thing if the situation were reversed.  Oh wait, Cathy’s not the good sport she’s pretending to be.  She tells them that she can go home and fix what went wrong in her dancers’ numbers, but they can’t fix Bleeeeeeeep.  What the fuck did she say there?!?!?!?  Does anyone know?  It was at least two words but fr the life of me I can’t get it!!!!!!  HELP me Gasmi, you’re my only hope!

Kelly yells after her that you can’t get any better than first.

Stick that in your crack pipe and smoke it!

Cathy says that Jabby and Co have not seen the last of her candied assles.  I’m sure they are shaking in their jazz boots.

Back in the dressing room Jabby tells Maddie that she’s proud of her for being a good sport about winning second place.  She starts to get into it again with Kelly and Kelly tells her all she wants is for her to make Kelly’s kids feel like before they go on stage that she cares that they do well.  Jabby thinks Kelly is enabling the stupidity.

Jabby says she’s here while her mom is in the hospital – she’s here with Kelly’s kid!  Christi does jump in at this point, saying that maybe Jabby doesn’t get it because she’s not a mom, but these kids crave her attention and approval.  That’s right, they should and she wants them to keep on craving it.

Kelly says she wants Gianna (one of the teachers) to go through her kids’ numbers with them the way she does with Maddie.  Well, they have a special relationship, Jabby tells her.  Right.  She wants someone at that studio to have a special relationship with one of her kids.  Jabby asks Gianna what Kelly got her for Christmas last year and Kelly yells that she doesn’t need to get her a present, she’s a fucking teacher.

And that’s why I don’t work with your fucking kids lady.

Jabby tells her that language is not allowed in her school.  And that’s where we leave them this time.

So…….what did you think Gasmi?  Can you believe Kelly actually hired a choreographer?  Did you wish they had finished the dance as well?  What about Cathy’s delusion?  Do you see a padded cell in her future?

My sincere apologies again for both the brain fart last week and also for delivering this later than I told you guys I would.  I had a family issue that was both unexpected and unavoidable and it held me up a bit.  I appreciate your understanding more than I can say.

According to my dvr, it looks like there’s no new episode this week.  So……I guess in two weeks we’ve got Tahoe?  See you there!

SWAK, PottyMouth