Dance Moms Miami Recap: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Recaps

By SnoopK8 | Saturday, May 12, 2012 | 9:00 pm | 14 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Dance Moms Miami, Recaps

Previously on Dance Moms Miami: the entire state of Florida caught fire; Hannah was “set up to fail” and Brigette embraced her Inner Bitchetteness.

The kids line up and VictAng praise them for getting back on track and winning in Michigan the previous week. But they say that this week is also a must-win if they want to get to Nationals. And who doesn’t want to get to Nationals? Hell, I want to get to Nationals. Do they have Nationals for TV watching?

Let’s get right to the list, shall we? Jessi has been on really good behavior for two (three?) weeks and reclaims her spot on top of the list. Kimmy is second because of her “amazing technique.” Lucas is third because the boys didn’t have a lot to judge him on (due to their not giving him his usual Nearly Naked™ solo), but he did a great job in the group number.

Hannah is fourth. Bob gloats that Hannah beat Sammy. But not so fast, Bob. Victor says if it were up to him, Hannah would have been last. Angel says he put Hannah fourth because she had a rough week and did the duet even though she had to put up with a lot of shit from Bob. This leaves Sammy in last place, but she doesn’t seem too concerned. She interviews halfheartedly that “we should have been ranked equally,” but I don’t think she lost any sleep over it.

Victor takes the opportunity to tell the moms to STFU with their disrespect towards him and Angel. Victor says any questioning of the “chorography” is “unacceptable,” so shut it, moms. I wish somebody would question him on the way he pronounces “choreography.”

This week they are going to Access Broadway in Orlando. Jessi’s getting a solo, Kimmy and Lucas will do another duet and Hannah Banana also gets a solo. Sammy gets nothing and will like it. Surprisingly, Abby has nothing to say about this.

The theme of the group number will be Survival. Abby interviews that it’s perfect because if she can survive these moms, she can survive anything.

Group rehearsal. Victor says the dance is supposed to represent animals in the wild and asks each kid what animal they would be if they were an animal. Jessi says she would be a lion because lions are “like the king of Africa or whatever.” They must be emo lions. Hannah says she’d be a snake because they are fast. I could make so many mean jokes here, but I am trying to reform and poor Hannah has enough to worry about without me snarking on her. Kimmy says she would be a spider because they are small. 

Small, but hairy

Lucas says he would be a bird because he wants to fly. Angel says, “yeah, away from your house.” Sammy wants to be a giraffe because she is so tall and pretty and everyone is jealous of her. Okay, I made up the last part. I forgot, I am trying to reform. Victor says the dance world is like the animal world because it’s a survival of the fittest situation.

Speaking of animals, in the lounge, Bitchette kicks things off by saying VictAng’s lecture to them about not being disrespectful was “nice.” And by “nice” she means “I’m bored, so let me get you bitches all riled up about something.”

So now I’m gonna throw a grenade and retreat

Abby says that it was disrespectful of Victor and Angel to call them out in front of their kids. Bob chimes in that what VictAng said to Hannah was inappropriate.

Abby says that VictAng blaming all the strife on bickering between her and Bob was unfair. She says all she was concerned about last week was that they didn’t seem to have enough time to rehearse the duet. Bob says that she NEVER called on VictAng to pull Hannah from the duet.

Bitchette interviews that she’s sick of listening to Bob and Abby pretend they’re content with the duet. That’s why you brought it up, you dumb bitch.

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SnoopK8
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Snoop K8 lives in NYC and loves baseball, red wine and Judge Judy (not necessarily in that order).

14 Comments

  1. 1
    ash1
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    Okay, I did dance with a professional ballet company as an apprentice when I was 16 and, while professional, adult, PAID company members do have a clause in their contract, they NEVER WEIGH KIDS OR ANYONE WHO IS NOT UNDER CONTRACT!!! Even if a contracted dancer was gaining, it would be handled privately, no o e is weighed in public like that. The dancers are $$$assets, and eating disorders are a liability. I have a feeling this was done more for the cameras, since this show is soooo fucking boring that we have almost nothing else to talk about…

  2. 2
    April
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 9:39 pm

    Ani reminds me of myself a bit with the stickers and stamp on the letter. Everyone that knows me knows when I send them something in the mail. It will be covered in stickers and have a pretty stamp. Always. It is my calling card. I loves it.

  3. 3
    CrisB83
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    Ani and Kimmy are so awesome! I love their level-headed, good attitude. Also, I loved Hannah’s costume and dance- finally something went her way! The negativity and butt-kissing from Bob-Debi almost canceled out the happiness for Hannah, though. And I felt like smacking Jessi throughout the episode. With her attitude, the prettiest costume and hairdo in the world is still like putting lipstick on a pig. Hate.

  4. 4
    Stagemom
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    I’m done with Miami. I was like this with all of the real housewives. I watched OC regularly but couldn’t get into the other cities. The joy of Pittsburg is seeing how much abuse the moms will allow Jabby to dole out. The moms and kids have so much history, it seems more real. Just like the original OC ladies did. Miami just isn’t clicking for me. Maybe I need to find different brain candy.

  5. 5
    PennyDreadful
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    “The bus must need its alignment checked…” HAHAH.

    I don’t feel this show the way I do PA. I do like VicAng better than Jabby, but I’m lukewarm on the kids and I loathe the moms. And there’s no Candy Apple’s (sic) craziness/comedy. Put VicAng in PA, that’d be great! Otherwise, I’ll finish out this season but won’t watch Season 2.

    Luv your caps, SnoopK8! Thanks for hanging in there with the bus.

  6. 6
    gun kata
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 1:48 am

    I think Susan just shocked Jessi. Jessi lurved that solo so, so much. She was shocked at her mom’s reaction. I don’t blame Susan for finally telling her to knock it off, but Susan’s timing couldn’t have been worse.

    The duet was just strange. These little kids will learn the steps and do them, but there seems like there could be something a little more age appropriate. At least Lucas got a shirt. Progress

  7. 7
    Samantha
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    I may be alone here but I kind of like Miami more the the Pittsburgh one. The Pittsburgh one just became tiring with all the screaming and I’m leaving the studio! and then Just kidding I’m staying lol! It got so annoying. At least in Miami they have more humor in it (VictAng’s constant poking fun at the moms and the goofing off they occasionally do) even if the moms (excluding Ani) argue like crazy. Miami I feel is more light hearted then the origional though the origional does have its light hearted moments. It’s just more common in Miami.
    I’m so happy for Hannah! Did anyone else notice at her awards when they announce 2nd place she got depressed because she thought she didn’t place and then when she won she got so happy. She didn’t look like she was expecting 1st place like the other kids on the show do. Yay Hannah!!!!!!

    I wanted to slap Jessi repetedly throughout the episode. My mom would take me out of Dance (if I did it) if I ever talked to her like that along with ground me for like 3 months. And I didn’t think Susan was out of line for talking to VictAng about it. I thought they were out of line to talk like that to her though when all she was doing was discussing a real issue. She wasn’t being rediculous or anything like she usually is. I enjoyed this episode though and am curious as to how that trio is going to work out next week.

  8. 8
    Dani
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    I feel the opposite about Miami. I don’t see it as more light-hearted in comparison to Pittsburgh. I felt the Pittsburgh moms and kids had much more of a bond and even when arguing it wasn’t with the viciousness as I see in Miami. Yes, I see VicAng as more light-hearted than Abby, but the moms are a million times better in my opinion (of course, Ani the exception). Also, I always felt in Pittsburgh that the moms supported all the kids (maybe not so much Melissa supporting other kids except hers, but the other moms did). Even with the whole Chloe/Maddie drama, I felt that Christi does love and care about Maddie and aside from one time I remember, she voiced her problems with favoritism with Abby and Melissa, but I didn’t see her calling Maddie mean names or anything like that. The Miami moms seem cruel, bitchy and kinda trashy. I also felt the girls on Pittsburgh dance moms all loved eachother like sisters, but don’t feel the kids on Miami have much, if any, connection. If they do, I don’t feel it. I like Hannah and Kimmy, but that’s about it. I really liked ALL the girls in Pittsburgh.

    Now, I totally agree with you about the Jessi incident. I have a 13 year old daughter and if she spoke to me like that I would lose it! I thought Susan was pretty restrained with her reaction. How dare her daughter speak to her mother like that?? I may not like Susan, but nobody should speak to their mother’s like that!! I’m sure her mom sacrifices a lot for her, and deserves respect from her daughter!

  9. 9
    Z
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 9:05 pm

    The only thing I will give this show is that I feel a lot less guilty watching it than I did for Pittsburgh because, so far, there haven’t been any scenes that walk the line of Child Abuse (unless you count the fact that Lucas is apparently not ever allowed to wear a full set of clothing). Other than that.. give me Pittsburgh every day of the week. These folks here just seen like they are trying too hard to be dramatic and angsty and they don’t even have anything worth arguing about.

    The kids seem so much less innocent as well, which was one of the endearing parts of DM. The girls all gave you this, “I don’t know what my mom is going on about… I just want to dance” vibe that I just don’t get from the Miami kids. It’s like they see it as their ticket just as much as their Mom’s do (except my sweet little Kimmy and Hannah). I’m having a hard time getting attached to these people.

    Also, does anyone else get the feeling that all of Jessi’s “disrespect” this week was scripted. It’s just really out of character from what we’ve seen the first few episodes. Sure, she was a snot to Hannah but she was pretty meek when confronted by an adult, especially her mother. I got the feeling that Susan had a really tight reign on her. Then all of a sudden she turns around and is calling her “stupid” and asking if she needs to go to a mental hospital? I call Cue Cards on that on… either that or VicTang is working overtime undermining these parents in front of the kids (which they are; they’ve done it several times in every episode… it’s sooo inappropriate). If Jessi was my kid, and she wasn’t reading a script, her dance career would be over and she probably wouldn’t be able to walk for a week after pulling that crap. I’m married with a kid of my own and I still don’t talk to my mom that way.

    Anyway, I don’t hate Miami but I’m in no way invested in it. Pretty much just filler till my Pittsburgh crew comes back.

  10. 10
    gun kata
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    Based on the fact Susan, who we have seen be very strict, let a lot of what Jessi was saying go on by I think we can deduce someone encouraged her to say more. And that’s what she came up with, but Susan knew she really didn’t mean it. Probably the real reaction was when Susan asked if she liked Stars was just to say, “yes.” But, Jessi’s a kid, so Susan eventually had to tell her to tone it down a bit because Susan knew hardly any parents would be all right with some of that.

    Also, I did crack up with, “Are you stupid?! Are you crazy, do you need to go to a mental hospital?!” (Ahahaha) honestly, I don’t think Jessi speaks to Susan like that just because she’s miffed. Now we she said, “I’m never leaving Stars.” That I believed.

  11. 11
    josstas-mom
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 7:58 am

    Hope you all had a nice Mother’s Day! I personally cannot wait until this show is done and over with. Why I keep watching it, I don’t know. I think I keep hoping it will get better. I don’t like anybody on this show, not even Ani, Kimmy, or Hannah. Those 3 are OK, I don’t dislike them, I feel bad for Hannah, but I just can’t seem to connect to them. They all just get on my nerves, especially the moms. Like alot of you said above, I really truly feel these people are just trying to get camera time and/or cause drama for the camera, etc. They try way too hard. Even if some (or alot!) of the Pittsburgh stuff is scripted, those people are just more charismatic, and I do believe that’s because they truly do have a bond. It’s like these Miami kids don’t even know each other, and they probably didn’t before the show. I hope they don’t renew this show. If they do, I don’t think I’ll watch a second time around. I can’t devote so much time and effort into not liking something! I had to quit watching a couple of the Big Brother shows because I was devoting so much time into hating!

  12. 12
    maryedith
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    I like Miami fine. It does not seem as scripted as Pittsburgh. It seems from the comments here, though, that the scripted parts of Pittsburgh are what people like, so I guess the producers know what they’re doing after all. I think Jessi’s brattiness was inevitable considering that Susan constantly breaks down and cries right in front of her. You can lay down the law all you want but if you allow yourself to fall apart in front of your kid too many times, your kid will start pushing against the emotional blackmail. I think Jessi’s an ok kid; she just doesn’t really know how to behave. And that IS partly Vict/Ang’s fault. They swing from serious to kidding around in a way that’s got to be a bit confusing.

  13. 13
    April
    Posted May 15, 2012 at 10:46 am

    Good point Maryedith. I find VictAng funny because I get they are being sarcastic or facetious but the kids probably don’t and take it literally.

  14. 14
    Kimmi Paul
    Posted May 15, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    I think Jessi gets it from Susan. She talks to Susan the way Susan talks to her and others. I have a tight leash on my child also but as a 15 year old, she does get mouthy once in a while which is when I have to bring her back down a peg or two. It comes with the teen girl territory. Annoying, but it is what it is. And Susan brings Jessi back down when she gets mouthy. But lets be real, Vic/Ang does not help in that regard. As funny and correct as they may be, they are not the parents and they do not have to deal with the attitude when they go home at night. The kids leave the studio and they are not their problem anymore.

    Hannah did a great job. But if she does not improve her technique it will only get harder in competitions as she gets older. They should play to her strengths and not do all the turns and extensions. They don’t work for her. Do modern and you won’t have to worry about all that.

    Can’t wait for the trio this week.

    P.S. I am not looking forward to Pittsburgh, I can’t help it but the way Abby treats those girls just makes me cringe and hate her. The show would be great if SHE wasn’t there.

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