Bring it on!
Okay, so last night I went to see Joan Rivers and came home a little buzzed (drunk) on Cabernet and then watched Dance Moms. As a result, my notes are kind of a scrawled mess, so bear with me as I try to translate them.
Previously, Crazy Candy Apples Cathy entered a 40-year-old into the 11- and 12-year old group; Jabby’s girls beat the Candy Apples in the group dance; Brooke won over all and we all got drunk on apple metaphors.
Jabby assembles the girls for one last “applesauce” comment before unveiling this week’s Pyramid of Failed Dreams. On the bottom: Nia for making a choreography mistake; Kendall who can’t read music and is still on probation; Paige and Mackenzie just because. In the middle: OMG… in the middle is MADDIE and the world just spun off its axis. Jabby warns Maddie against “resting on her laurels.” Also in the middle: Chloe. On top of the pyramid this week is Brooke! And this is the only first indication that this is Opposite Week.
This week they will be going to Starbound in Nutley, NJ. The numbers will include a solo for Mackenzie!; Maddie and Chloe will go up against each other in head-to-head solos and the group dance will be about a child being born. (Ew!) Jabby tells Brooke she’s now a role model and the glue that holds the whole number together (foreshadowing).
Brooke goes to a football game and is approached by a Cheerleader Pimp who lures her into trying out for the cheerleading team – but tryouts are on the same day as the dance competition. As expected, this does NOT go over well.
Crazy Apple Cathy is back to face her “nemis” Jabby Lee and to taunt Christi about her nose one more time.
Mackenzie is awesome in her solo, as is Chloe. Maddie was also good, but I admit to a bias towards Chloe. Brooke tries out for cheerleading and makes the team.
And now more Opposite Week: Mackenzie wins her age group! Chloe also wins! MADDIE COMES IN THIRD…
The Candy Apples do a mermaid group dance and they all look about 25, except for Vivi, who Jabby says is being used as a “human prop” to bring down the age level. Erika is back, apparently taking time out from her college classes to compete. Abby Lee Studios wins it all, while the mermaids come in EIGHTH. This of course gives Christi an opportunity to bait Cathy, which leads to a free-for-all between Jabby, the moms and Cathy over the bee costume that Vivi wore last season. WTF??? Oh, and Cathy calls Christi “Disco Ball” a few times. Hahahaha. I love this show so much.
Next week: Peyton and her crazy screaming mom are back and there is, predictably, more yelling.
Phew! I made it. Okay, so I will have the full recap up in a couple days, but if you don’t want to wait, you can read last week’s recap here. Thanks, guys for all your awesome comments and I will catch you on the flip side!
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