Dance Moms Recap – Peyton’s Place

Bully for me!

Hello everyone. I’d like to throw in a belated thank you to PennyDreadful for the shout-out last week. I’m sorry – I did not see it sooner! But I think that everyone should go right now and read the Tabatha recaps. I’ll wait.

Okay. Now back to OUR warm and fuzzy show.

The bad news is there is no Crazy Cathy this week. The good news is we have another contender for Queen Crazy Ass Beyotch in Leslie. Apparently I spelled her name wrong in the MiniCap and for that I apologize. (I think I read somewhere that “Lesley” is the woman’s spelling and “Leslie” is the man’s spelling, but I should have Googled it. Yes, folks, I am too lazy to Google.)

Previously: Maddie and Chloe go head-to-head and Chloe wins; Crazy Cathy faced her “nemis” (I just love that, in case you haven’t noticed. Never buy a dictionary, Cathy); Brooke tried out for cheerleading; Cathy called Christi “Disco Ball.”

The girls line up for some positive reinforcement. Jabby congratulates them on another “victorious weekend,” but Jabby being Jabby says there is room for improvement.

I love you, you’re perfect. Now change.

Paige did okay in the group number, but missed a leap downstage. Kendall had a bad grand jete. Nia did a great job, but even though she didn’t pull Jabby’s eye negatively, she SHOULD be pulling Jabby’s eye positively. I am going to assume that Jabby is speaking figuratively because actual eye-pulling would be kind of disgusting. Also, keep this conversation in mind for a few minutes into the future.

This week the girls will be going Hollywood Vibe in St. Louis. Jabby says they need to bring their “A” game because there will be judges from California and New York who will be looking for the next “big thing.” No, not Jabby. (Okay, I’m sorry. Fat jokes are hacky. I’ll knock it off. Maybe.) Christi interviews that she expects nothing less than Jabby putting an “exorbitant” amount pressure on small children. We expect nothing less than Christi complaining about something every five minutes.

Pyramid time: The last square will remain covered because Jabby isn’t going to discuss it right now. Ooh, could it be Brooke? Suspenseful!

Dun dun DUN

Next in line is Paige because she doesn’t apply corrections. She needs to work her way back up the ladder. Poor Paige finally gets some attention and it’s the wrong kind. Next we have Nia, who needs to keep working on her technical issues. Kendall is next and is still on probation. Jill is still upset about this. She’s all “whyyyyyyy?” Because your daughter is still, shall we say, dance-ically challenged. Shut it, Jill.

Second row: Mackenzie! She got the overall high score for her group and she proved herself by beating the Candy Apples. MADDIE is on the second row as well. This elicits surprisingly little reaction from Melissa or anyone, just a “great job, keep working,” from Jabby. On top: Chloe! Because she was the overall winner. Jabby relays this in a tone reserved for telling someone they just lost their entire family in a car accident. She says that it’s one thing to be on the top, but it’s up to Chloe to actually stay on the top.

Christi is happy, though. She gloats and says “ice cream for everyone,” which she said last week. That means either the editing is shoddy or Christi needs to get a new line. (At this point, it’s 50-50.)

Chloe and Maddie will be doing lyrical solos this week, although I don’t believe they’ll be going up against each other. (But Zedo and Sarah in the mini-cap comments pointed out that this may all be bullshit. I’m very sad that Lifetime would try to lie to us like that. Bad Lifetime.)

Chloe, Maddie and KENDALL will be doing a trio, much to the ire of Kelly, who says Maddie, Chloe and Paige ALWAYS do the trio and that Jabby only picked Kendall to get back at her for the Brooke situation. Jabby claims she just wants to see if Kendall “can hang” with Maddie and Chloe.

The group dance will be contemporary lyrical and will be about a bully. Everyone is jumping on the bully train these days. Maddie interviews that she can relate because she’s been bullied on the bus and has also seen bullying at school. Aw. Maddie gets on my nerves sometimes, but I don’t wanna see her being bullied.

Jabby says that somebody needs to be the bully and that somebody is Nia.

I will cut a bitch

Oh, that will definitely give Nia some positive attention. No matter, Nia is excited to be the star. Holly points out the irony of someone with Jabby’s teaching methods doing a number that is anti-bullying. She adds that she’s happy for her daughter, but is upset that she has to play a bully.

Jabby has a final surprise. She unveils the final square of the pyramid and it’s not Brooke, it’s Peyton, the girl whose mom screamed at Jabby in the first episode (speaking of bullies).

I’m baaaaack!

Peyton will be joining the competition group for at least this week. All the girls squeal when Peyton comes in, so clearly they know her. And it turns out that she has been with Abby Lee Studio for four years. She’s also 14 and three times the size of the other girls.

Jill is not happy about this development. She says now there is the danger that Peyton will end up taking Kendall’s spot. Jabby tells Peyton that as the “new kid on the block,” she has to prove herself and will be joining Kendall on probation.

Does she have the Right Stuff?

Up in the booth, Christi says she can’t believe that Paige was pulled from the trio because Chloe, Maddie and Paige have been doing trios since they were four years old and they are undefeated. Jill says Jabby’s not replacing Paige, but Kelly screeches “she just did!” Christi interviews that the trio should be untouchable.

Down on the floor, Jabby is schooling the girls on how to be a bully, because if anyone would know, it’s her. Nia practices pushing Maddie, and the simulated violence bothers Holly. Holly interviews that Nia is not a bully and that Holly’s school (where she is principal) has a zero-tolerance policy for bullies and so should Jabby. Okay. I get that Holly’s upset that Jabby picked the only black girl to be the bully, but I wish that she would just come out and say that. It’s not unreasonable. But the actual arguments she’s using make no sense. I don’t think that Jabby is trying to glorify bullying. (I mean aside from this entire show.)

Speak your mind, Holly

In any event, Holly goes down to talk to Jabby and Jabby gets mad and takes the role from Nia, making Peyton the bully. Nia is upset, but Jabby reassures her that her mom did it to her. I hate how Jabby always tries to put the kids and moms against each other. But other than that, I think it makes more sense that Peyton be the bully because Peyton is sooo much bigger than all the other girls.

Back to the rehearsal. Jabby calls Chloe “the cockiest kid she ever worked with.” Huh? I’ve seen nothing in ANY of these kids that I would consider cocky and I don’t even LIKE kids. Even when Maddie brags that she is the best in all her interviews, I think it’s because Melissa and Jabby constantly tell her that and not so much that she wants to lord it over anyone. And I’ve NEVER seen her act cocky around the other girls AT ALL. Shut up, Jabby.

Anyway, this exchange causes Christi to comment on the irony of Abby’s doing an anti-bully dance. Christi, I love you, but you need to come up with some original material. Jabby castigates Chloe for not having a “brain in her head,” and Chloe starts crying. Chloe interviews that she misunderstood Jabby’s direction, but Jabby thought she was trying to make up her own choreography. Jabby’s response to Chloe’s crying is “Suck it up, kid.” Jabby is using Method acting to help the girls get into their roles as bully bait.

Rehearsal is over and the girls go to Kelly’s to see Brooke for a “party” to congratulate her on making the cheer team.

The girls are super excited to see her, but Brooke just seems over it. Brooke says she’s not sorry she’ll miss the competition this weekend because she gets to go to a football game. She says she doesn’t know if she’ll ever want to come back to dance.

The next day, the girls rehearse while Jill comments how “funny” it is that all the girls are the same height except “big Peyton.”

Big Peyton, big pimpin’

She says Peyton is going to stand out like a sore thumb, but KENDALL fits in with the group perfectly.

Leslie, Peyton’s mom, says, “Call me biased but I think [Peyton’s] a better dancer.” Okay, you’re biased. Leslie adds that she’s put more time in at Jabby Lee Studio than Jill, and that Jabby has made the right choice in picking Peyton for the role. Christi who, as usual, has planted herself right in the middle, says Peyton only got the spot by default.

Jabby interviews that she doesn’t know Jill well enough to know how she’ll handle Leslie, but she KNOWS Leslie, and Jill had better get her own baseball bat. So the anti-bully crusader is advocating that Jill beat Leslie with a baseball bat?

Jill explains that Jabby originally picked Kendall over Peyton for a reason and she’s just concerned that Peyton will hurt “the group.” Right. I forgot that Jill was all about the group. She continues trashing “Pey-Ton” in a talking head, but at least she’s enunciating her name super carefully. Jill and Leslie get into it some more, with Jill saying that Jabby only let Pey-Ton into the group because Leslie had a screaming fit after the auditions and forced Jabby to find a spot for her. Jill says of Pey-Ton “look at that big bully. She’s a BIG bully, not just a bully.” So what are you trying to say, Jill?

Maddie, Chloe and Kendall rehearse the trio and Jabby is making Paige run the music. Geez, that’s kind of uncalled for.

Sad horns

Or, as Kelly puts it, “bullshit.” Jabby interviews that Kendall’s doing a great job and that the dance is difficult count-wise so she’s not sure Paige would have been able to handle it. Never mind that she was just screaming at Kendall a couple of weeks ago for being out of time and not being able to read/hear music. Consistency is the hobgoblin of Jabby minds.

The moms meet at a coffee shop to bitch this week. What, no booze? I was only kidding last week, ladies. You guys should drink as much as you want.

Christi says she’s skeptical as to why Leslie invited them for coffee and that in her experience, Leslie has an “underhanded motive” for everything she does.

Leslie kicks things off by asking Kelly why she comes to the studio every day to let Jabby torture her after the Brooke cheerleading debacle. Good question, Leslie. See, this is where I still thought maybe she wasn’t a psycho. Kelly says that she does it because of camera time Paige wants to be with her friends. Leslie asks Christi the same question. Christi says that’s between her and her daughter and she doesn’t have to answer producer-planted questions to anyone. Leslie says, true, but “you sure do complain about it a lot.” Christi needs a few minutes to come up with a movie quote from 1997 so she’s temporarily quiet.

Leslie says that if Brooke comes back, Brooke and Peyton should be allowed to stay because Kendall is still new. She says that Peyton should not be on probation.

Holly arrives and Leslie asks her about pulling Nia from the bully role. Leslie says it’s “just a dance.” Holly says to Leslie it may be just a dance, but to her, it’s part of her identity. She interviews that Nia was upset, but they’ve had many conversations about stereotypes and she had to draw the line somewhere. Leslie says HER daughter will dance whatever role she’s given. Holly understates that Leslie isn’t open to other people’s ideas.

Christi breaks in with something about Jabby making Chloe cry and Leslie jumps on Christi. She questions Christi’s parenting skills for continually bringing Chloe back after Jabby makes her cry. Christi again says, more or less, that it’s none of Leslie’s business and it’s between her and her daughter. Leslie says that when HER daughter cries, she tells her to “shut up and take it” or find a new studio. Oy vey. Who’s the bully again?

Nope, she’s a psycho

The girls are in the studio modeling their costumes for the bully dance. And oh good lord, they are dressed like Britney Spears in the “Hit Me One More Time” video, only sluttier.They are wearing plaid schoolgirl skirts, white shirts tied to expose their tummies and ripped fishnets because I guess regular fishnets aren’t inappropriate enough for 10-year-olds. Christi calls them “Prostitots – the Sequel.”

Prostitots ‘R’ Us

Classy!

Jabby says that since Peyton is older, she represents the bigger, trashy, mean bad girl at Catholic school. Leslie points out that a “bully and bad girl is different from trashy” and that to her, “trashy equals sleazy or slutty.” She adds that Peyton is 14 and “not some sleaze in some strip joint.” Not yet anyway. Okay, what happened to telling Peyton to suck it up and dance whatever part she’s given? If Jabby wants her to be a sleazy Catholic schoolgirl bully then she should be the sleaziest, Catholicist, schoolgirliest bully ever.

Jabby argues that HER name is on the studio and they need something cutting edge for this routine. One woman’s cutting edge is another woman’s kiddie porn, I guess. Why would Jabby even WANT to be known for dressing little girls in stripper-wear? This show raises so many questions.

Jill interviews that she has a lot at stake (i.e. camera time) and tells Jabby that she’s on board with whatever Jabby thinks will make the number good. Jabby is sick of them all and screeches that the decision’s been made and the decision is knee socks, red trunks and bare midriffs. So no ripped fishnets. Another defeat for creepy van owners everywhere. Maddie will also wear two high ponytails and a “kick me” sign.

They arrive in St. Louis. No bus scene this week so no Bus Driver Jim. Come back soon, Bus Driver Jim!

Jabby gives one of her signature pep talks in the dressing room saying that everyone, even the backstage people, could work for someone important, like casting agents and so forth. She says this competition could be important for the rest of the girls’ lives and the rest of HER life. Okay, really? Hollywood Vibe in St. Louis, MO is going to be that life-changing?

Jabby interviews that she has two moms on probation and they aren’t necessarily equal. She says Jill thinks she’s ahead of the game because she’s been doing the competitions for the last three weeks but Jabby doesn’t know if Leslie realizes that’s what Jill’s thinking. Leslie interviews that Jill is the one who should be worried.

Apparently Jill is, because she goes over to Kendall and offers her $20 to do well in the trio. (Or maybe she is preparing her for a future on the pole?)

Dance for mommy

Maddie interviews that that’s weird and the moms don’t usually bribe them, or if they do, it’s just for ice cream or something. But Jill has a lot riding on this. $20 and her daughter’s self-worth is nothing compared to cheap reality show fame.

The girls go on stage for the trio and Chloe is sitting really far away from Maddie and Kendall. Kelly interviews that there would be no problems if Paige were in the number. LOL. But they pull everything together and the crisis is averted.

OMGZ! Where’s Chloe?!

Afterwards, of course, Jabby won’t let it go and says Chloe was way stage left. Christi defends Chloe, saying Chloe would have been “straddling a microphone” if she hadn’t moved. Christi says that Jabby is constantly getting in Chloe’s head to make her beat herself up “in her own mind.”

Solos. Maddie is nervous because she wants to beat Chloe and get back on top of the pyramid. Melissa cries as Maddie dances. Jabby says again this week that Maddie looks “professional.”

 

Professional

Chloe practices her solo and Jabby screams at her, saying that it’s one thing to be on top, another to stay there, etc., etc. Chloe interviews that she’s nervous because Jabby keeps telling her that everyone is replaceable.

Replaceable

Way to support your students, Jabby. Isn’t that part of being a good teacher? Not giving them a false sense of superiority, but a healthy sense of confidence in their abilities? Oh wait, I forgot what show I was watching for a minute.

Jabby says Chloe did a few things wrong, but otherwise she did a “nice” job. Chloe adds that she wishes “Miss Abby” would pay as much attention to her as to Maddie. Aww.

The girls get slutted up dressed for the group number and Jill asks what color shoes they’re supposed to be wearing. Jabby is all, “Seriously??? She has black shoes on!!!” Geez Jill, maybe you should pay more attention to the costumes and less on how to exploit your daughter for twenty bucks a pop.

In the Green Room, henceforth to be known as the Scream Room, Leslie bullies Peyton to make sure she won’t screw up on stage. Peyton looks totally beaten down. Jabby yells at Leslie for treating Peyton like a baby and Leslie’s like “I’m her mother.” Ugh, poor Peyton. Imagine having Jabby scream at you for hours and then having to go to home to Leslie?

The girls try to run the number before going on, but Leslie screams at them to get on stage. Holly says to let the girls practice so they know what they’re doing on stage. Leslie says it doesn’t matter if they know the routine if they miss their cue. Jabby yells at Leslie (OMG, this is confusing – like an episode of Mob Wives) that they’ve been doing this for a long time and they know what they’re doing. Leslie says the show officials aren’t going to hold up the show for them, but Jabby says no, but they’ll hold it up for HER.

She yells that it’s HER name and HER reputation on the line, causing Christi to stick her nose (sorry) into it. Christi says that it’s the KIDS who are on the stage. Jabby, mature as always, tells Chloe as she’s going on stage that Christi “destroys” her. Christi screams “don’t you say that to my daughter” and that leads to the “role model” exchange we saw in the previews. Jabby says Christi needs to be a role model and Christi screeches that Jabby is the worst role model ever. Remember, this is all happening right before the girls go on stage. But I guess it will put them in the right state of mind for a dance about bullying.

They go on and Peyton looks A LOT older than the other girls. Jabby interviews that Peyton put the “kick me” sign too high on Maddie’s back and she’s afraid it will fall off. (It doesn’t.)

Kick me baby one more time

Jill interviews that the number didn’t really stick with her, other than “Peyton, because she is eight feet taller than everyone else.” Again, Jill, I’m having trouble figuring out what you’re trying to say.

Leslie asks Peyton in the dressing room what she thinks her critique will be. Peyton says she thinks Jabby will say she was better than Kendall. Leslie says she thought Peyton did better than Kendall too and she thinks Peyton will be getting the coveted Abby Lee sweatsuit.

Jabby comes in screaming that Peyton almost screwed the whole thing up by putting the sign too high on Maddie’s back. Leslie counters that Maddie’s pigtails were too high and that she thought Peyton did fabulously. Jabby is pissed, but she says Peyton did okay but she has to fix her turnout. Peyton seals her fate by saying she thought she was better than most of the girls. Jabby: “Oh THAT’S cocky!” Peyton: “That’s how I feel.” Jabby interviews that she is APPALLED that Peyton would say that “in a room full of amazing dancers (except Chloe).”

Leslie tries to defend her daughter by saying that everyone thinks that, but Peyton was the only one who had the balls to say it. Jabby says the group has a good camaraderie but they don’t critique each other. She adds that Peyton said it, and there’s really no apology she can give the group. It’s out there and it will take YEARS for the group to trust her again. She adds that Peyton shouldn’t belittle others, because “that’s MY job.”

Awards. Maddie wins the division for her solo. Chloe did not place and Jabby says she’s only as good as her last performance. The trio doesn’t win and Kelly interviews that she’s relieved and that they should just stick with what works (i.e. Paige). The group number also doesn’t win and Jabby says she doesn’t get it; maybe they thought it was inappropriate? Next time go with the ripped fishnets.

Back in the dressing room Jabby AGAIN tells Chloe that getting on top is one thing, staying on top is another that she should ALWAYS win her age group. Christi interviews that Jabby never says those things to Maddie.

Jabby is still mad at Peyton. She says “how about that overinflated ego?” Leslie asks if Jabby thinks they lost because of Peyton. Jabby says she’ll have to read the judge’s notes. Leslie asks if Peyton will be able to dance with the team again and Jabby says she’s more concerned with Peyton’s attitude than her dancing. Leslie says Peyton didn’t mean it and if Jabby wants to fight, she should fight with Leslie, not Peyton. Didn’t Leslie just say a few minutes ago that everyone felt the same as Peyton but no one else would come out and say it? Anyway, Jabby’s verdict is that Peyton is still on probation.

Holly goes up to Leslie after Jabby leaves to tell her that Jabby’s really mad at Peyton and that she (Holly) and everyone else took her comment the same way. Leslie says “[Peyton] apologized and you don’t accept an apology from a 14-year-old?” Christi (of course) jumps in to say that there is a lot of “enabling” going on here. Leslie yells at Christi that someone shut her down and she can’t handle it. Jabby comes in, saying she was right outside and could hear everything.

Jabby says Leslie’s kid has a “smart mouth” and that Leslie needs to “dig [her] nails into her back to shut her up.” The Jabby Lee Miller school of child-rearing. There is lots more yelling and the bottom line is that Jabby won’t put Peyton on the team because of her “snotty attitude.” Leslie says “you won’t have me to kick around much longer” as Peyton sobs in the background. And… scene.

I’m outta here

Next week: There is a “shocking” top of the pyramid; Brooke says she may want to come back; Jill wants Kendall to get bigger parts and Jabby can’t take the moms’ bickering any longer and says she’s willing to lose someone from the team.

UGH. I don’t know about you guys, but I found this episode really depressing for some reason. At least Crazy Cathy is entertaining. Leslie just seems like a miserable hose beast who bullies her daughter and everyone else. What did y’all think? Is this the last we’ve seen of Peyton? Will Brooke really come back? Will Paige be reinstated to the trio team? Were Jabby and Leslie separated at birth?

Thanks again for reading and all your awesome comments!

xoxo,
SnoopK8

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