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This week’s Dancing with the Stars was infinitely better than any I’ve seen before, and I was wracking my brain trying to figure out why, when it dawned on me: the perpetual assault on my eardrums had ceased. This week was Classical Week, apparently the first one ever, and the 46-piece orchestra was in fine form, accompanied by soprano Catherine Jenkins and super hot rock violinist David Garrett. It was certainly nice to hear some high-end music for a change, rather than bad covers of worse songs, and never mind that Hines and Chelsea were both disturbed and confused by the prospect of listening to songs without words. Excuse me while I weep for humanity.
The stars danced the Waltz, the Viennese Waltz, and the Paso Doble, Bruno shrieked approval, and Len hated on some details, yet seemed strangely open to being entertained. Carrie Ann barely contains her lust for the smooth expanse of Chris Jericho’s bared Viking chest, and Kirstie half loses her shoe during the waltz, because last week’s faceplant wasn’t enough awkwardness for one season. Plus, we get to witness Sugar Ray grace us with the best ballroom face in history. Recap is in the works, so keep an eye out for it later this week, and stay tuned as well for words from TheNooch.