Dancing With the Stars – The Finals!

10 weeks of competition and it all comes down to this.

“That mirror ball trophy is mine!”.

Nicole lets us know it’s gonna be a sweaty night.

Brooke Burke has been poured into another dress and is rocking a Bump-it.

Well, WTF, somebody else recapped the show already.   And the results have been posted!  I’ve become as irrrelevent and useless as Brooke Burke.

First the stars will dance in a dance picked by the judges as one they should have excelled at and didn’t and then the freestyle.

The first couple up is Erin and Maks.  Of course it’s not Nicole; she’ll be last, as usual.  Bruno shows up to show Nicole how to shake her hips for the samba.

“Look at your ass!”

And I don’t even think he was talking to Maks.

The dance is cute and flirty and Erin looks great.

Is this really just a professional relationship?

Len liked being kissed by a man with a beard, but was glad Maks kept his clothes on.  Bruno says it was hotter than noon in the tropics and that we wanted butt and we got it.  Carrie Ann says it was sharp, crisp, confident, and fun.

BBB: 10,10,9.  Brooke profoundly asks how that feels.

Evan and Ann are going to redo the Viennese Waltz and Len shows up to give advice on connecting.

I told you it was going to be a sweaty night.

I have to comment on the song.  They are dancing to Piano Man.  Admittedly, Piano Man has a very pretty melody.  But it’s a song about drunken losers in a bar!  Not the song you want to conjure up a romantic feeling.  Who picks this crap?  Eh, I am out of the mood now.  The dance is pretty without being spectacular in any way.

Hey, there’s Emmit Smith in the audience, looking a bit chunky.

Bruno says it had lyricism, was good in hold, and was romantic and sweet.  Carrie Ann says it was a beautiful, emotional, romantic dream.  Len says it has grace and elegance, but he was collapsed in his stand, whatever that means.

BBB 10, 9, 9.  Brooke redundantly asks how that feels.  And then even more redundantly asks how it felt to dance the Viennese Waltz.

Nicole and Derek are up.  They have scored the most points ever up to this point.  Carrie Ann appears in rehearsal to help Nicole be emotional and vulnerable in the rumba.

Flexibility isn’t always all that attractive.

It was sexy and I did feel more of a connection.

Carrie Ann says all the edges were softened, but then an argument ensues over whether the music was over when this occurred:

Really Carrie Ann, you’re going to be that anal?

Len loved the subtlety, but thought Nicole lacked confidence, and Bruno says that it had sensuality, romance, and extreme beauty.

BBB: 9,9,10.  Brooke is really getting into this interviewing thing and asks, “how does that feel?”.  Derek sucks it up and apologizes for the lift that really wasn’t a lift.

Now it is time for the freestyle!  It’s everybody’s favorite part of the season, including Tom’s.

Erin and Maks want to do something completely different, something very modern, which is outside the box, even for Maks, so they bring in Mandy Moore.  Mandy Moore, the choreographer, not Mandy Moore, the sort of singer, actress, exgirlfriend of Andy Roddick.

Mandy Moore, the choreograher, has crazy eyes.

Maks says that their dance is passionate and emotional, and tells the story of their relationship.  Rehearsals consist of Maks throwing Erin onto a mattress, which I’ve said was the story of their relationship all along.

The dance starts on a couch and ends on a bed.

It was kind of jerky and raw and wild and passionate, and I have to say I totally loved it.
I think a lot of people won’t though.  They were totally connected to the dance and each other and all th emeotion almost made me cry.

Unfortunately, as the walked over to the judges, Maks was picking his nose and Erin was adjusting a wedgie.

Len proves me right and says it was a mix of emotion and commotion and he liked it but didn’t love it.  Bruno says it was a psychodrama and said she pulled off some of the steps.  Carrrie Ann says she loves the risks they took, and there was one stumble on the bed.  Maks says it wasn’t the bed they rehearsed on!

BBB: 9,8,9  Tom says that in 10 seasons, “It’s not the bed we rehearsed on” is his favorite excuse ever.

Evan and Anna have quite the drama in rehearsals.  Evan wants to do something different and Anna has trouble letting go of traditional moves.  It really hurts Anna’s feelings.

Anna’s accent disappears in the clips where she is crying.  They bring in an outside choreographer, as well,  and apparently merge their ideas.

They dance to Footloose, and it is seriously sloppy and disjointed.  They aren’t in sync at all.

Even the lifts just look awkward and misplaced.

Bruno says it was demented and ‘ Screwloose’ and that they lost precision and slickness.  Carrie Ann said it was odd, but they had great energy.  Len says he doesn’t think it was what either one of them wanted.

BBB: They’re proud that they went for it.  8,8,8  Their faces fall.  Brooke really learned something in Interviewing 101 and asks them how it feels.

Derek and Nicole are last.  Because he has the best dancer ever in the competition, Derek puts in lifts he has never done before.

It is high octane for sure, and they are in sync.  As I’ve noticed a couple of times during the season, Nicole actually looks sharper than Derek in parts  They have some great lifts.

We miss a large part of the dance to watch the judges.

Maybe they were getting prvacy for a wardrobe change because when the camera returns to them, they have new clothes on.

They completely blow the last lift, but the crowd goes wild and I’m sure the judges will, too.

Carrie Ann says it was what we were waiting on.  Len saw fun and entertainment.  Bruno says there was dazzling creativity, it was technically superb, and it was Ah-May-Zing.

BBB: 9,9,9  I was actually surprised they didn’t give her 10′s even with the messed up lift.

So the season has come to a close and I have to thank y’all for reading!  I’ve really enjoyed recapping for you and hope to be back again!