MiniCap: DTWS Week 4 Results

I am terrified that the DWTS “magic” is starting to work on my cynical heart. I was actually excited to see the recap of Monday night’s episode. NOT because I actually care what will happen to Kirstie’s bedtime snack, Maksim, or what Kendra’s B.O will smell like today. It’s because they finally nailed what DWTS is at it’s very core; A circus, with elephants, has-beens and clowns. Now that they have come to terms with this and are admitting it, I MAY be able to sit through an episode. Plus, they used Flight of the Bumblebee under the quick recap at the top and Bruno performed a Harry Potter spell with some pretty stellar special ‘poof’ effects.

I’ve decided to start playing a fun little game I call “Don’t watch the Monday night DWTS and try to stitch together what actually happened with ONLY recaps”.  So far, I’ve been able to gather that Chelsea thinks she’s Hermione. Hines is a torero conquering a leopard queen. Macchio told a story with his dance: Once upon a time, there was a dance. It was boring. The end. Len has become a drill sergeant since Monday night. Romeo is on fire, literally. Petra fell and her partner tried to pick her up with her skirt but it conveniently ripped off leaving her writhing in a bra and underwear on the floor. Jericho thinks he’s Steven Segal. The program was paused for Swan Lake. Kirstie Alley has a tantrum about her shoe. Sugar Ray made a doll come alive and spun her around until she landed on the floor. And Kendra blew it.