‘Dancing’ gets a leg up with Heather Mills

You can’t make this stuff up. It’s being reported that Heather Mills has signed up for the new season of ABC’s Dancing with The Stars. The future ex-Mrs. Paul McCartney, as you may know, would enter the competition with a handicap.

She’s only got one leg.

“The one-legged gold-digging former porn model and ex-hooker,” as she’s known to readers of the British tabloids, would love nothing better than to become America’s beloved underdog. And with fellow Brit Sarah Ferguson (whose tabloid rep, coincidentally, is also tied to her lower extremities with those notorious toe-sucking pix) withdrawing from contention as a Dancing dancer, she’s got her chance.Thanks in part to Paul McCartney’s pull in the UK, the ugly divorce and revelations about her porny past have helped make Heather the most despised woman in all of England. Here in the States, though, infotainment shows like Extra, and now Access Hollywood, which reports the Dancing news, have been much kinder to Heather– because that’s the agreement they make in order to get an interview with her.

It doesn’t matter. The British accent will have most viewers thinking Heather’s as royal as Denise van Outen on Grease You’re The One That I Want! And what do you bet the announcement convinces McCartney to one-up her by appearing on American Idol?

Other semi-stars rumored to be joining the new season of Dancing include Billy Ray Cyrus, Joey Fatone, Danica McKellar, Ian Ziering and Laila Ali. Former Dancing star Jerry Springer will reveal the new cast on Good Morning America on February 21st.

–Tabloid Baby