It’s A Thriller!

This week on Dancing with the Stars, teams had to either perform the fox trot or the much more intriguing paso doble — a dance that always calls for italics, no matter what the situation. As usual, we had our share of memorable moments. Kind of. Well, let’s see. Lisa Rinna put her hair back in a bun, and actually looked hotter for it — so that’s something. Oh, and Master P managed to turn walking into a dance move. And, of course, how could anyone forget the Pussycat Dolls? Okay, don’t answer that last question.

George and Edyta

Kicking off the evening’s festivities were George and Edyta, and as we braced for yet another joke about the ‘hood, our favorite dancing senior announced that he wanted to cut down on theatricality and focus more on technique… which is why he came out dressed like his trademark character, Zorro the Gay Blade. Yes, nothing says low-key like brandishing a sword, a mask, and a feathered cap.

Nevertheless, George’s paso doble was still fun to watch, and the ever silent Edyta looked quite sexy in her Spanish gettup. Grrrowl. The crowd was certainly into the performance, giving a long ovation at its end. Even Tom Bergeron was moved to comment: “Antonio Banderas, if you’re watching, this is you in twenty years.” And in other news, Billy Bush, if you’re watching, Tom Bergeron is you in twenty years. I know, tough break.

Before we could get to judging, Bergeron asked Len what to look for in a paso doble, and oddly enough, Len responded by quoting both Michael Jackson AND the Pointer Sisters: “Blood on the dancefloor! Fire!” Impressive! But no love for Patti LaBelle? Maybe he should have referenced the need for a new attitude. Just a suggestion.

Well, the judges enjoyed Georgie’s dance, even if it was lacking a bit in technique. Bruno, of course, provided the obligatory forced analogy by saying, “Yes, it was a bit more Anty’opkins than Antonio Banderas.” At which point Gwenyth Paltrow popped up on screen and sighed, “Oh, Antony Hopkins…”

Then it was time for George to go backstage, but before he left, he had one last thing to say: “I had a prop problem… I had a horse, but he lamed up in the parking lot.” Well, at least it wasn’t another ‘hood joke.

As George and Edyta (or Gedyta) finally retreated to the Den of Samantha Harris, Tom reminded us to call in and vote for our favorite celebrities after the show. “We advise you to use your calls wisely because, you know, the White House is listening,” he said. Whoa, whoa! That’s some risqué political humor for Dancing with the Stars. I’m surprised we didn’t get a test-signal for twenty seconds as ABC execs contemplated shutting the whole thing down. Tom Bergeron: the Mark Russell of the ballroom community.

Anyway, Gedyta pulled in straight sevens from the judges for a combined score of twenty-one. “I’m gonna go cut my throat now,” George said. Awww. Wait, that’s really grim. Somebody keep an eye on George. You know how depressed those senior citizens can get.

Tia and Maksim

The big news in Tia’s life was that she and Maksim had to spend the week on the road. They flew to New York for a little morning gab with Regis and Kelly, and then they headed to Max’s classroom where we could all meet his fleet-footed students. Yes, Max has students, and they were all insane dancers — especially one guy whose foot seemed to be moving at the speed of sound. It was all very children of The Matrix to me, except instead of bending spoons, they were just really, really good at shaking their hips. I guess it’s appropriate — after all, on the season premiere, Max did describe himself as Neo. I’d really love to see The Matrix: Ballroom Edition. Max could have a dance off with Agent Smith.

Anyway, Tia and Max performed a nice little fox trot, which was received rather well; although, apparently there was some sort of blunder, according to Len and Bruno. Carrie Ann didn’t see the misstep, but she did have some rather terrible news: THE CHAINÉ WAS OFF!!! Dunh dunh DUNH! (And yes, I had to look up “chainé.”)

Tia ultimately garnered solid scores: a nine and two eights for a total of twenty-five. When asked to comment by Samantha Harris, she simply cocked her head back and said, “Well, you know, P talks about the ‘hood, George talks about the ‘hood. I’m from the original ‘hood: MOTHERHOOD.” Wah wah wah. That wasn’t rehearsed at all! I guess we’re at Hood Jokes 2.0.

Master P and Ashly, a.k.a. Mashly a.k.a. Ashter P a.k.a. Team Disaster

And now the most exciting part of any Dancing with the Stars episode: just how awful will Master P be? Will he be embarrassingly awful or promisingly awful? Or just plain AWFUL? Well, the producers kindly placed P towards the top of the show for once so we wouldn’t have to wait long to find out. Before we could see his gangsta doble though, we needed to watch some video footage of the week that was.

First, P responded to Len’s harsh criticism that he should be out of the competition. “I’m not angry with him… we’re just going to pray for him,” P said. Mmmkay, good luck with that. Meanwhile, Ashly was probably praying that P would devote more time to training. She was so freaked out with his lack of practice that she (or at least the producers) decided to inspire him with a trip to Utah to visit her family. And when I say family, I mean family. By my count, Ashly had about thirty-five little brothers and sisters, and I’m sure another one just popped out of ma’s tummy about five seconds ago. Insert Utah/polygamy joke here.

Anyway, P seemed to mesh well with the DelGrossos, especially when he cracked a few jokes around the dinner table. “She did the Mrs. Miyagi thing on me,” he said. “Before I learned to dance, I had to wash her car.” So… I guess that car’s still pretty dirty, huh?

P and Ashly then hit the streets of Salt Lake City to take in the sights and get inspired. Wonderful. And now their paso doble.

Okay, imagine a brontosaurus. Now imagine a brontosaurus wearing a fedora. Now imagine that brontosaurus attempting to be a bullfighter but not really. And now imagine that brontosaurus trying to move to some sort of beat. If Master P had a dance off with that brontosaurus, he’d still lose. We’ve known it for weeks, but now it’s official. Master P cannot dance. He cannot do it. There was some promise with the jive and the quickstep, but I like to think of that as the Flowers for Algernon effect. Or perhaps, if you really want to go there, the ballroom version of Awakenings.

There were times when Master P moved his feet — albeit in a clunky, robotic, stomping sort of way — but for the most part, he either walked (yes, walked) or simply stood still. That’s right. There were stretches of time — nearly ten seconds — where his feet barely even moved. Oh, and forget about looking like a matador. His arms didn’t so much as raise higher than his bellybutton. It was horrible. And wonderful. Horrderful.

As expected, the judges were not happy. “It was a nightmare,” Bruno scolded, as the audience laughed, then realized that was mean, and began booing. “It looked like a child on the mall, lost, looking for his mother,” Bruno continued. “I can’t judge something that has got nothing to judge. There are two steps: step to the right, step to the left…” But by then, the audience’s lame booing had overwhelmed Mr. Tonioli, causing him to turn around and yell, “SHADDUP!!”

Len was a bit more sympathetic at first, saying, “You dance as though your heart’s not in it,” but then he attacked the viewers, saying we were being cruel by keeping Master P and Ashly in the competition. Uh, hello. This is reality TV. Cruelty is currency in these parts.

Rounding out the judges was Carrie Ann who tried her best Paula Abdul impression by saying, “I actually thought that was your best dancing that you brought forth.” Huh? What crack have you been smoking, Carrie Ann INABA? Nevertheless, she accused P of not performing as a matador, and when there’s no matador, there’s no Paso Doble. She giveth and she taketh away! INABA!

Predictably, the scores were dreadful: a four and two twos (try to guess which one was Carrie’s score). Yes, P pulled in a grand total of eight, which was about five points higher than I thought he’d get. C’mon judges! Use your ones!!

Backstage, Samantha asked P how much he really wanted to be there, and he had a perfectly logical answer: “Well, you know, I mean, I think the judges are taking it a little personally. If they listen to the music I come from, you know, I got a new album called ‘Living Legend.’ Y’all can go listen to that.” Oh, I see. He really does want to be there because otherwise he wouldn’t be able to plug his album!

Well, Samantha Harris was not about to take any of this namby-pamby self-promotion. “Alright, alright — P, c’mon, be straight with me!” she said. Yo, don’t be disrespecting Sam-Dawg! You gone and put her own front street!

Nevertheless, Samantha continued her questions, asking P if he really thought what he’d done out there qualified as ballroom dancing (ooh, playing hardball!). “Oh yeah,” P responded, “Because it’s about the look, the emotion.” Dude, you had no “look” or “emotion.” Even by your standards you sucked.

Samantha then moved onto Ashly who looked like she was waiting to be stirred awake out of this living nightmare. Asked whether or not she thought P was committed, Ash replied with some classic “Huminah huminah” before stating, “Well, you know, that’s a tough question… he is committed in some ways.” Translation: no, he’s not committed at all. It was very awkward. My favorite.

Stacy and Tony

Next up was our favorite wrestler, Stacy Keibler, with her goofy-faced sidekick, Tony Dovlani. After last week’s torturous tango rehearsals, Stacy’s body was aching from head to toe. Why this mattered? Oh, because we needed to see the two dancers spending a relaxing day at the spa. This, of course, led to the inevitable cucumber mask scene where Tony joked, “I feel like a salad.” Hilarious. He then added, “So much for being the badboy of ballroom.” I hate to break it to you, Tony, but the whole badboy thing kind of evaporated when you said “ballroom.”

We then had a little of the ol’ Dancing with the Stars comedy as the camera focused on a foamy bubble bath, soft core porno music in the background. Oh man!!! Who’s in the bath?? This is gonna be funny! Sure enough, the camera panned to the left, revealing not Stacy but TONY! “You thought you were getting Stacy, didn’t you?” he smiled. I DID! I DID! YOU GOT ME!!! Oh, let me catch my breath.

Well, the duo hit the dance floor and performed a graceful fox trot, resulting in Carrie Ann saying, “A good job.” Hmmm… That seemed a bit restrained. Surely Bruno can compensate for Carrie Ann’s lack of energy.

“In 30 years in the business, she has the best legs I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!” Bruno yelled, his voice booming as if Stacy might be standing a mile away. Well, the audience went wild, and Carrie Ann entered defensive mode, saying that she liked Stacy, she really did! Whatever, INABA. You’re an embarrassment to all ballroom judges across the land!

Ultimately, Stacy and Tony pulled in impressive scores (of course): eight, nine and nine for a total of twenty-six. Beat THAT, Drew!

Drew and Cheryl

Sure enough, Drew and Cheryl took the stage next, but not before some heavy training in the world of paso doble. You see, Drew was having a hard time getting into the matador character. I guess that’s because he’s spent his formative years singing in a boy band, not dodging angry bulls (big bro’ Nick doesn’t count). Luckily, ABC was happy to hire a real life matador to come in and show Drew the tricks of the trade. And how fascinating it was! They swung around capes, practiced arrogant glares, and worked on posture. And you know, nothing spells exciting TV like posture!

Turns out the tutorial helped. Drew’s paso doble was exciting right from the very start when he unleashed his cape as if it were on engulfed in flames. He and Cheryl worked the dance floor to Michael Jackson’s classic bullfighting theme, er, “Thriller,” and yes, the two even integrated in some zombie moves from the video. This homage to the gloved one even ended with the camera zooming into Drew’s face from above. I know it sounds hokey written here in text, and well, okay, fine, it was hokey on TV too, but damn, it was awesome. We then cut to Nick Lachey happily clapping in the audience (phew! That means we can clap too!) and then it was time for the judges.

I thought Drew was gonna pull in straight tens, but the ever nit-picky Len Goodman rained on that parade. “Your posture sometimes is a little bit queer,” he said. I know there has to be a good boy band joke in here somewhere. (Sigh. My brain is fried from all this dancing.)

Carrie Ann also found some little thing to complain about, but Bruno — well, he was his usual overexcited self. “It’s the best paso doble of every celebrity of every series I’ve ever seen!!!” he yelled to uproarious applause. Seriously, I thought his head might just explode at that very moment.

Anyway, it was time for the scores. Would Drew reclaim top dog status after Stacy’s unfathomable score of 26? The answer: yes. He pulled in two nines and a ten (Bruno), yielding a total score of twenty eight. Uh oh, Stacy and Tony. Looks like the bad boy of ballroom better get his bad boy ass out of the proverbial bubble bath, STAT!

For the record, after the scores were read, we had two lovely moments of awkwardness. First came with the Samantha Harris interview (natch) but amazingly, it was not entirely her fault. Drew decided to show off his red socks (in honor of MJ), and in the process, let out what were supposed to be typical Jackson “Hee-hee” noises, but instead, sounded simply like Drew had either broken out into tears or hiccuping violently. Possibly both. As such, Samantha was rendered partially silent, thus making the entire interaction cringe-worthy and entirely too long.

When it finally ended, I thought we’d be out in the clear, but never underestimate Tom Bergeron’s power to clear out a room. “During rehearsal,” he said, “Drew came out here carrying Webster, which was cute.” And no, no one laughed. Maybe that’s because he flubbed midway through the sentence (curse of Samantha Harris), or maybe it’s because it was a twenty year old reference, or maybe it’s because it just wasn’t FUNNY. Either way, even Tom realized he had missed the mark, and quickly ushered us onto our next couple…

Jerry Rice and Anna

After last week’s subpar performance, the pressure was on for Jerry to return to form. And if he could do that in a fish-out-of-water comedy style, that would be great too. Luckily, Jerry’s been having troubles with his posture; so his ballroom partner/dominatrix Anna took him to ballet class to work on his lines. And let me tell you something: you haven’t seen hilarity until you’ve seen a big, black, NFL player doing ballet! That was sarcasm, by the way. As expected, we were treated to the typical “Oh my gosh, this is crazy, wacky stuff!” footage: Jerry trying pirouettes, Jerry balancing on his toes, Jerry listening to a small man in a unitard. Blah blah blah. Let’s just get to the dancing.

The good news for Jerry fans was that he rebounded with the fox trot, earning strong reviews once again. There was some disagreement on whether or not his posture was any good. Bruno said no, but the other two said yes, thus sparking a squabble-fest culminating in Len yelling, “No, you’re wrong! You’re wrong!!” Nothing like watching an old British coot turning into a 6 year-old. Luckily, Bergeron interceded and got the judging back on track.

“You’ve gone from zero to hero,” Len said. Did he just quote the marketing campaign for The Mask? Wasn’t expecting that. Anyway, Jerry snagged eights across the board for a total score of twenty-four. Pretty good; although, with the competition heating (thanks Stacy and Drew), it hardly was the best.

Lisa and Louis

Last up for the night was my favorite hyperactive soap star, Lisa Rinna. Now, I’ve been a frequent basher of Lisa’s appearance for quite some time now, but I have to say, she looked mighty fine. Aside from the fact that she was wearing little more than a piece of dental floss, the biggest change was obviously her hair. In fitting with the paso doble theme, Lisa darkened her hair and slicked it back into a bun, which I thought looked muy caliente. Then again, anything will look muy caliente next to her stupid “I’m a sassy mom in my 40s!” hairstyle she normally sports.

Anyway, for Lisa’s behind-the-scenes segment, we got to take a glimpse inside her hectic life. First she had to wake up at 6 AM and then make breakfast for the fam, then make lunch for the kids, then open up the store (huh? What store?). It’s all pretty impressive, but we all know that once the cameras stop, Lisa’s servants take care of all the crap work.

As the segment ended, we saw the fairly heartwarming scene of Lisa’s fam, including husband Harry Hamlin (or was it Louis Van Amstel??) sitting in on rehearsal. Everything seemed to be going so well — I hardly had a thing to make fun of — until Lisa suddenly said, “This week, I’m doing it for the girls in the ‘hood. Motherhood.” Okay, WTF? WE GET IT!! Then again, I would have really liked it if Tatum O’Neal suddenly returned and said, “I’m sorry everyone. My truck broke down. Maybe I should look under the hood. The motherhood.”

Anyway, it was time for Lisa’s big paso doble, and hey, did Gob Bluth just walk in? Nope, turns out that Lisa was dancing to “The Final Countdown” by Europe, a song that has now been in my head for about three days counting. At first, Lisa was a little stiff, but she soon limbered up and ultimately delivered a strong performance (including a theatrical “death” on the parquet.)

“You nailed it!” screamed an excited Carrie Ann. And of course, this sent Lisa into a spastic fit of joy, causing her to jump up and down as if a bottle rocket had just gone off in her ass. The other judges provided similar compliments, and I’m surprised Lisa didn’t simply fall to the floor in an epileptic rapture. If you think I’m exaggerating, let me just say this: she willingly hugged Tom Bergeron for no reason. Bitch has got to be high on life.

Well, Lisa pulled in two nines and an eight, tying her with rival Stacy and placing her in the top three. “I’m the underdog!!!” she screamed to Samantha Harris. Wait, so if you’re the underdog, what the hell does that make Master P? It doesn’t get much more under than him. And speaking of Master P, I enjoyed the fact that during the entire Lisa Rinna backstage interview, Master P stood in the background, smiling like a total goofball. Losing street cred by the second, P.

The Results

Okay, flash forward one day, and we have the all new, ultra-inflated results show. Yes, the producers have done away with that old, sixty-minute ode to filler and replaced it with a new, sixty-minute ode to filler. It’s pretty much the same show, except instead of twenty minutes of dancing up top, we instead had the Pussycat Dolls. Sigh.

Anyway, the show began with Tom and Samantha eagerly greeting us, and then we revisited last night’s show in a razzle-dazzle montage peppered with backstage confessionals. “I kind of look up to Stacy and Drew like they’re my idols. I want to be there someday!” Lisa said in her half-cackle, half-yell voice. Seriously, she takes this competition way too seriously.

Jerry Rice, meanwhile, was all ecstatic over his performance. “It was just like scoring a touchdown for me,” he said. Oh, like he would know. Whatevs, Jerry.

After his theatrical performance as Zorro the Gay Blade, George Hamilton was upset that the judges bashed him for being too gimmicky. Well, he had a fix for that: “I may go on strike and dance next week totally nude.” Hahahaha (please tell me you’re kidding. PLEASE).

Of course, there was only one backstage interview we really cared about: P and Ashly. The two grumbled about their score, trying to convince themselves (and us) that it was undeserved. P rambled about whatever (probably praying or saying “This is America” or doing some Scarface impression). Eventually, Ashly entered the realm of total self-delusion, saying, “I don’t know what they’re judging really.” Um, it’s called dancing. You might want to have your partner there look into it.

With the backstage confessionals over, the producers then had to come up with new and innovative ways to kill time; so they created the Judges Encore (I believe that’s what it was called). Every week, the judges will pick their favorite performance — which might not necessarily be the highest scoring one — to be danced again on Friday. Wonderful! I’ll just hit that fast forward button…

For all you wondering, Drew and Cheryl returned to the dance floor for a Thriller reprise.

Then it was time to head backstage for another round of intense Samantha Harris flubbing/questioning. But wait! There’s more! In another new edition to the newlook results show, we would now watch the the stars watch themselves! Yes, this meant having to see the dances yet again, only now, the dancers’ faces would appear in the lower lefthand corner of the screen. And if you’re wondering, reactions varied from waxen smiles to glazen smiles.

Anyway, after watching her fox trot, Tia explained her blunder, saying, “I zigged when I was supposed to zag.” Okay, let’s not get Samantha confused with all the technical jargon, Tia. Just say you messed up and be done with it. By the way, ABC was kind enough to let us see a slow-motion replay of this blunder… for ONE SECOND. That’s probably because just as it came on screen, Samantha Harris decided to move onto another dancer. THANKS.

Next was Stacy, who was still struggling with the intricacies of the fox trot. “Toe, heel, heel, toe. Toe, heel, heel, toe, whatever,” she said, trying to convey the various footwork patterns. Finally, she simply snapped, asking, “Is it heel?? Is it toe??” Shhhh. Be calm, Stacy. Let caveman Tony ease your troubles away. He is the master of bubble baths, after all.

As for Lisa, well, honestly, I don’t remember much of her response. She said something about a higher power possessing her during her paso doble, and then she cackled like a maniac. Best leave her alone before she has another epileptic fit. I will say this though: I’d really like to see her and Bruno have a meal together. There’d be plates flying.

And now the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The modern incarnation of ballroom class and sensibility: the Pussycat Dolls. Our favorite clan of scantily clad and questionably talented gals took the stage to sing their signature tune, “Don’t Cha,” and to their credit, they didn’t appear to be lipsynching. Well, those of them that actually sang, that is. Okay, okay, so basically just that one woman sings and the rest gyrate in the background, occasionally pausing to toot the occasional “oooh” sound. But hey, one is better than none. Right, Ashlee Simpson?

After commercial break, it was time for more backstage interrogation, and this time, Samantha approached Master P who was all about doing the Scarface voice. “I tell you what, man. I was out there dancing as best I could , and I’m not the bad guy anymore,” he said. This sadly went on for quite sometime, proving that George Hamilton wasn’t the only one who could beat a dead horse.

In one of the odder moments of the night, Samantha Harris then questioned Jerry Rice about his dance, and the football legend replied, “George, he gave me his butt pads.” Okay, don’t even know what that means, but the images its conjuring are strange and disturbing.

Hey, you know what this show needs? More filler! In the spirit of all things frivolous and unnecessary, we then saw a segment about the various pre-show rituals of the stars. Lisa, for instance, when not shaking her booty in the hallway, likes to do some yoga. Tia and Max like to keep a healthy distance from each other. And George likes to sit around in his underwear — tighty whiteys, specifically. How do I know:? Because we SAW IT! Oh Lord, that was painful.

As interesting as these rituals were (and we all can agree that they were VERY interesting), nothing compared to the elaborate, byzantine customs of Drew and Cheryl. “We just say ‘Okay, good luck.’” Wow. Cah-razy!

Knowing that the viewers might be getting a bit restless, the producers then revealed the first two safe couples: Drew & Cheryl and Lisa & Louis. Fantabulous. Next, the judges revealed which couples they were proudest of. Len picked Jerry (who amusingly urged the crowd to pump up the volume). Carrie Ann picked — I don’t remember. Lisa maybe? Whatever. And Bruno chose Drew. I personally felt much more informed.

The good news was that we’d made it past the halfway point of the hour. The bad news was that the producers were rapidly running out of stall tactics. So what to do? Why, trot out the salsa dancers! Actually, this was pretty cool. Two championship salsa-meisters took to the floor with some insane footwork, all to the obnoxious singing of a guy named Cello. His name is probably spelled differently, but it’s pronounced like Cello, so hey, that’s how I’m going to spell it. I really hated Cello. Not only was his voice nasal and annoying, but he was covered in blotchy, ugly tattoos. Listen, Dancing with the Stars is for class acts only. Like the Pussycat Dolls.

And speaking of the Pussycat Dolls, they returned to the stage once again to sing some forgettable number, and this time, they were joined by the nonstop swivel action of Jonathan Roberts and Anna Trebunskaya. Seriously, my hips were hurting just watching these two.

After the performance, we went backstage AGAIN to talk to Master P AGAIN who spoke in his Tony Montana voice AGAIN. Was the show presenting a rerun of itself in the original show? We then saw yet another video segment, this time about the judges and how they’re all different. Len explained that Carrie Ann was all about emotion whereas Bruno was more “Diva! Diva! Diva!” As for himself, well, Len summed it up perfectly: “Fuddy duddy.” Bruno, meanwhile, insisted that “I’m not there to punish anybody.” Yes, he’s only there to yell forced analogies in their ears.

Finally, it was time for eliminations. Stacy, Jerry, and George were safe, leaving only P and Tia Carrere. Who would be eliminated? We’d have to wait until after the break. ARGH! Luckily, since this is a blog, we can just skip right over that annoying commercial break right to the moment of truth. The person going home… of course… Master P.

“Say goodbye to the bad guy!” he called out to the crowd. I personally was saying goodbye to the Scarface references. Anyway, the two headed over to Sam and Tom, and whoa! Holy dis, Batman! Samantha reached out her hand, and P clasped it for half a second before moving onto Tom and giving him a full dap. That’s right Samantha. DENIED. A few seconds later though, she tried to awkwardly apologize to him for being so “hard” during the previous day’s interviews (you know, when she pleaded for him to be straight with her). Listen, Samantha. He hates you now. Don’t even try to get on his good side. She probably just wants a free pair of his shoes to give to her nephew or something.

Normally, this is where the show (and the recap) ends, but with the new revamped format, we now had to sit with P for an awkward five minutes and listen to him and Tom banter. Well, it was more like Master P would talk for two seconds and then Tom would toss to a video montage of P’s journey or all the times he said “the hood.” There was a moment of excitement when Tom ribbed P for shamelessly plugging his merchandise, but even though the rapper became momentarily upset, he calmed down and then revealed his next career step: “we’re gonna have to go on Desperate Housewives.” At which point, we suddenly heard Mary Alice Young’s voice say, “Yeeeessss. Some dances are romantic. Some are passionate. And some are merely a gesture of good will. But not every dancer has a partner.” And then Bree Van De Kamp gives Master P the evil eye.

As the show finally came to a close, Master P and Ashly took to the floor once last time for their goodbye dance, and the house band was ever so kind to play “Another One Bites the Dust.” The other couples, at Samantha’s urging, then streamed out from backstage and awkwardly surrounded the two in a scene that was not unlike my bar mitzvah. And so ends the reign of Master P. What did you think? Was it his time to go? Will the show be as interesting without him on it? And who else is excited for Survivor starting this Thursday??