Toe-sucking Fergie to dance with the stars

Fergie may be competing on the next season of Dancing with The Stars! Wow! She’s hot! And she’s really a star!

Oh… wait… it’s not that Fergie, not Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, but Sarah Ferguson, Britain’s Duchess of York– and the tabloid’s favorite “Duchess of Pork,” who’s been casting around the States for TV work for some time now, and who’s announced she’s a great fan of the show.

This original Fergie, inspiration for the title of the Black Eyed Peas’ singer’s new album “The Dutchess,” is 47 and probably not so lively on her feet– even though feet are her claim to infamy. Well, actually it was toes, and that could make things a little messy, since the producers say they’re hoping for a royal romance with her dance partner…Back in the early Nineties, Sarah was married to Britian’s Prince Andrew when she was photographed on a beach, sucking the toes of her millionaire Texas boyfriend (Correction: She was topless, getting her toes sucked. Apologies to fetishists.) The scandal launched a thousand headlines and led to her divorce. Her weight issues won her the “Pork” title, and eventually a lucrative gig as the spokeswoman for Weight Watchers.

She’s been best known for her charity work and occasional TV gigs. Last year, in fact, she was lining up to do some feelgood reports for the tabloid TV show A Current Affair, but the show’s cancellation put the kibosh on those plans.

Dancing producer Conrad Green has extended an official invitation for Sarah Ferguson to join the Dancing reality series. It’s not clear that she’s signed, but it sure sounds like it.

“Fergie will add a touch of class to the proceedings and the fans will be waiting to see if she falls for her dance partner,” he says. “Everyone loves a royal romance and her presence will bring dazzling ratings. “We like having a mixture and we’ve not had a duchess.”

–Tabloid Baby