Design Star: The Final Two!!

PREVIOUSLY ON DESIGN STAR…

The remaining 3 designers Casey, Michael and Emily the Strange each transformed a sunroom into their own hosting design show representation.

Special guest Antonio Ballatore, last season’s sexy winner, offered words of encouragement and guidance.

During elimination, Michael was the first one cleared to go to the finals. Then it was down to Casey and Emily the Strange.

Casey was eliminated and Emily the Strange joined Michael as the final two design stars.

It’s been an interesting season. Ready to see Emily the Strange and Michael battle it out for the title of Design Star host? Who here wants to see Tom return? Thought so. Let’s get started.

Welcome to the season finale of Design Star!!!

AT THE FLATOTEL…

Emily the Strange and Michael are chilling in the family room. Michael asks Emily the Strange if she slept okay. Emily the Strange says yeah. Michael says he woke up this morning and was like is this for real? Is this a dream?

Michael – “What if this isn’t real? What if Vern planted this in our heads?”

The phone starts to ring. It’s Vern! He congratulates Michael and Emily the Strange on making it to the final two. He tells them to get ready for their biggest challenge yet and to head over to the studio.

Vern – “And on your way over stop at Duane Reade and pick up some Love’s Baby Soft.” Michael – “Why do you…” Vern – “Don’t ask questions. JUST DO IT!!”

AT THE STUDIO….

Emily the Strange and Michael enter the doors to find the judges waiting for them.

Genevieve – “Our ensembles are actually in harmony today. Amazing.”

Vern – “I paid someone off with a little Love’s Baby Soft. Speaking of, Emily the Strange, Michael, where is it?”

Michael hands Vern a Duane Reade bag who hands it to Genevieve. Cheryl Tiegs eyes the two suspiciously.

Cheryl Tiegs – “It was you, Genevieve, that switched out my clothes this morning!”

Genevieve smiles and winks at Vern.

Genevieve tells the designers normally coming to the studio is not a good thing, it’s not a place you want to be, but this morning you’re here so we can assign you your final challenge.

Michael – “Ooo I hope it’s decorating with scarves.” Emily the Strange – “Can I use my huevos rancheros?”

Vern tells the designers that they have inspired and impressed us with your creativity

Michael – “Thank you Jesus for not striking me down when I smashed your fugly ceramic angel faces.”

and your style and your voice as a designer.

Emily the Strange – “So you found my raspy cold voice sexy, huh Vern?”

Vern – “No Raggedy Ann, I wanted to shove Musinex down your throat.”

Vern tells the designers that it’s time for them to use their voice but not like this

Vern – “I fucking hated that movie.”

The final challenge will consist of the designers making a segment of their hosting show. The judges are giving them a furnished New York apartment to make over and a budget of $15,000.

Emily the Strange murmurs “Excellent.” Michael laughs in giddy anticipation.

Cheryl Tiegs tells the two “Look at how far you’ve come. Your two photos are the only ones remaining on the wall.”

Meet your new Mike and Carol Brady.

Then Cheryl Tiegs says “All of the other designers are gone UNTIL NOW!!!”

All of the ex-contestants start filing into the room. Tom, in bat form, flies in and circles around Emily the Strange’s head before transforming into “human vamp” Tom.

Cheryl Tiegs tells the designers this challenge is going to take a lot of work and these guys are here to help you.

Michael once again is slowly losing his grip on reality. He keeps wondering if he’s dreaming right now.

Michael – “Damn it. Where is my spinning top?”

Cheryl Tiegs laughs “It’s like a big dysfunctional family reunion.”

Genevieve tells Michael and Emily the Strange it is time for them to each choose designers that will help them with their tv show. Also one of the designers will be their inspiration client.

Emily the Strange selects Dan a.k.a. Mrs. Garrett first.

Emily the Strange – “I’m missed you Mrs. Garrett!!!” Dan – “I’m missed you and my GIRLS, GIRLS!!!”

Michael selects Courtland. Courtland lets out a muppet-like ahahaha and runs over to Michael.

Michael – “Mai Tai Thursdays at Pottery Barn for Kids Forever!!” Courtland – “Scarf Soulmates times infinity!!”

Emily the Strange picks Casey.

Michael picks (I spit my soda at the screen) fucking Nina Gargamelda?!?!?!? Nina Gargamelda yells “Razzle dazzle ahhhh” as she walks over.

Nina Gargamelda – “And for my next masterpiece a majestic smoky mountain mural entitled” 9 to 5: A Busted Dolly Parton.”

Michael tells us he is taking a risk by picking Nina Gargamelda.

Michael – “Nina Gargamelda is a lioness who eats her cubs and spits them out on a wall to make a mural. She calls it the ‘Circle of Life.’ Get it? Hahahahaha. Whoa am I dreaming again?”

Emily the Strange picks Stacey.

Michael picks Trent.

Emily the Strange picks her vamp child TOM!!

Tom – “Thank you, master.”

Michael picks Tera.

Emily the Strange picks Alex leaving Julie (remember she was the crazy feather girl) for Michael.

The Dream Teams

Vern tells the designers now that you have your teams GET TO WORK!!

Michael – “Okay, but first can you tell me if I’m awake?” Courtland – “Michael, I think we’re dreaming. I just saw Joseph Gordon-Levitt walk by with a briefcase.” Michael – “Shit!!”

AT EMILY THE STRANGE’S TEAM SITE…

Emily the Strange reminds us that the concept for her show is to take a client’s personal style and tranform it into their home.

Emily the Strange cracks the whip and tells the designers she needs someone to start measuring and another person to start taking pictures.

Tom says “Ooohh oohhh I’ll measure, master.”

Emily the Strange tells Mrs. Garrett that she just decided that he will be her client. Emily the Strange tells him he needs to pick out what he would wear on a Friday night out on the Lower East Side.

She thinks country bumpkin in New York City would make for an interesting design. As Emily the Strange starts going through Mrs. Garrett’s clothes, she realizes that his style isn’t that different from hers. Uh oh.

Emily the Strange calls time out and tells the designers change of plans. Mrs. Garrett is too similar to her. She’s going with Tom.

Tom – “Say what, master???”

Emily the Strange tells Tom he has awesome style so it should be great to work with.

Tom – “Thank you, master. I’ve been crypt shopping. Those old stiffs don’t need YSL suits, they’re dead.”

Emily the Strange tells Mrs. Garrett, no offense we’re just too much alike and she doesn’t want to play it safe. Besides Tom is dangerous, he’s a dangerous, dangerous man.

Everyone laughs.

Tom – “It’s true. I ate a flock of seagulls yesterday, and when I say Flock of Seagulls I mean the band.”

AT MICHAEL’S TEAM SITE…

Everyone is seated at the table.

Michael – “Okay first order of business. Is it true that Danielle Staub is getting a spin-off show on Bravo?”

Courtland – “It’s unconfirmed. Will keep you posted.”

Tera – “I heard she has a sex tape.”

Michael – “Old news. Already watched it during a Mai Tai Pottery Barn Kids Thursday.”

Julie – “What’s Mai Tai Pottery Barn Kids Thursday?”

Michael – “If you don’t know then you don’t need to know.”

Michael fills the designers in on his show concept and chooses (I spit my soda at the screen again) Nina Gargamelda as his client. What the fuck is going on?!?!? Am I stuck in the movie ‘Inception’???

Nina Gargamelda ‘raises the roof’ in response.

Raising the roof so there’s more room for murals.

Michael tells us Nina Gargamelda is his target demographic. She’s also a transitioner and will give him the opportunity to do something a little more feminine.

Michael – “I’m thinking Noxema Jackson in Too-Wong-Foo. You know Wesley Snipes totally could have used his costume from that movie to escape tax evasion.”

Nina Gargamelda immediately becomes the demanding bitchy client that we knew she would be. She tells Michael that she’s bohemian chic. She has screens from India made out of the skin of Indian children, tables from Bali made out of Bali monkeys and…

Courtland – “And I bet every 23 years for 23 days you get to eat, Nina Gargamelda.”

And Michael is like hold-up. He tells her stick with the fashion and let me be the interior designer.

Nina Gargamelda tells Michael just be careful because the judges know what her style is.

Michael – “Yeah, yeah they know you jerked off Barney he went SPLOOGE all over your wall and that is your style.”

Michael tells us he had a moment where he thought he shot himself in the foot by choosing Nina Gargamelda.

EMILY THE STRANGE’S TEAM…

Emily the Strange and her posse are in the van.

Emily the Strange – “Tom, I see you got your protective sun ring on, excellent. Okay, we’re going to need to stop at the Blood Bank first. What are you in the mood for, Tom?” Tom – “I could go for some Chinese today.”

Emily the Strange tells us she wants to capture the colors and textures of Tom as a person and his wardrobe.

Tom tells Emily the Strange that he collects a lot of things when he travels like Buddhas and….

Tom – “Bidets, Easy Bake Ovens, guitar picks, Steven Tyler scarves and my latest thing is pinky rings.” Casey – “Seriously?” Tom – “Don’t you?”

Tom – “Oh and don’t forget I like lithographs and maps that tell me ‘Where In the World is Carmen Sandiego.”

Emily the Strange – “You are such a complex, fashionable man, Tom.”

Emily the Strange tells Tom she is making him 007 right now. Tom laughs maniacally.

Tom – “Can I have a gold member?”

AT PENINE HART…

Tom – “I’m so relieved that no reflection thing is a myth.” Emily the Strange – “Yeah, I guess.” Tom – “I like to stand in front of a mirror sometimes and give myself a mangina.. you know like Dali.”

Emily the Strange asks Tom if he likes any of the artwork. Then she asks the sales clerk how much is that painting.

Sales clerk – “I thought vampires were supposed to be sexy like on True Blood. Instead we got the poor man’s Sookie and Bill up in here.”

Emily the Strange purchases a huge canvas along with some other weird artwork that represents Tom.

Rorschach Paintings.

She also got him a sofa and some other sleek modern furniture.

Tom – “The couch is scotchgarded right? Blood is a bitch to get out.”

AT GRACIOUS HOME…

Emily the Strange picks up some brass pieces and sophisticated metallics for his coffin.

AT CALYPSO HOME…

Emily the Strange holds up a weird object and asks Tom if it’s him, and he says totally while spastically running around the room.

MICHAEL’S TEAM…

Michael says first he needs to create a floor plan and by floor plan he means he has to finish last episode’s sketch of Courtland.

Courtland – “How about this pose?”

Michael – “Perfect. Don’t move.”

Michael starts arranging furniture and is puzzled on where to put the bed. Michael decides to make the bed disappear.

Michael – “If Kevin McCallister can make his entire family disappear I can certainly make a bed disappear.

Courtland gets right to work building Michael’s disappearing bed contraption.

Michael – “So you see, a curtain will pull around providing darkness and preventing the guy from having to put a bag over Nina Gargamelda’s head.” Courtland – “Ooo smart.” Trent – “And one less paper bag is reducing our carbon footprint.”

AT EMILY THE STRANGE’S…

Emily the Strange, Casey and Tom arrive back at the apartment. Alex is painting.

Alex – “Just lay low and the vamps won’t get you. You know what happens in horror films. The black man always dies first.”

Emily the Strange asks Alex “Where is Dan?” Alex tells her Mrs. Garrett is downstairs.

Alex – “Whew. That was close.”

Montage of Mrs. Garrett sanding chairs.

Emily the Strange tells us she starts conceptualizing the design. Montage of her holding up fabrics with Tom.

Tom – “Can we take the scraps and make capes?” Emily the Strange – “Tom, capes are so cliche.”

MICHAEL’S TEAM…

Jeremy, Michael’s Director of Photography, arrives. Michael gives Jeremy the game plan. Interview with Nina Gargamelda, blah blah blah.

Jeremy – “She’s the one who created that period mural, ‘Aunt Flo: A Renaissance Woman, right?” Michael – “Yes.” Jeremy – “Tell me, who would want a wall that’s on the rag?”

Michael tells us his plan is to have them film Nina Gargamelda and then he’s going to head out so they can film the shopping scenes.

Michael – “How am I going to fake liking you on camera.” Nina Gargamelda – “What?!?”

The camera guys get into position and it’s LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!

Michael tells Nina Gargamelda “‘pause’ You’re beautiful, too bad your place is tragic.”

Michael’s inner monologue “Shit that was close. I almost called Nina Gargamelda tragic on camera.

Michael tells us it’s important not to appear to rigid or flightly on camera. You have to appear interested in the client.

Michael – “That’s nice that you had an allergic reaction to NADs hair removal gel. Now about those curtains.”

Michael asks Nina Gargamelda has she feels about color. He suggests a punch of big girl pink.

Nina Gargamelda – “I love big girl pink! We can create a mural of pink Platex….” Michael – “Ehhh we’ll be right back after this commercial break!!!”

Nina Gargamelda tells us she’s a little worried because Michael isn’t being as charismatic as he can be and that can’t be good for Michael.

EMILY THE STRANGE’S TEAM…

Emily the Strange’s Director of Photography Gene has arrived.

Gene – “So, you’re Emily the Strange.”

Emily the Strange – “That’s my name, don’t wear it out.”

Emily the Strange attempts to tape a segment about creating paint stripes on a wall.

While Emily the Strange is taping, Stacey is eating an apple in the kitchen.

Stacey – “Mmm a ceramic taxi under a glass dome would look great over there.”

MICHAEL’S TEAM…

Michael has moved onto his taping segment with Courtland.

Michael – “You were looking for me?”

Courtland – “I could use some help with the ‘Hide Nina Gargamelda Butterface Headboard.”

Michael – “Watch my scarf.” Courtland – “Bwhahahaa.”

Michael tells us it’s important for his personality to shine through in this video. The judges have told him they don’t really know him on a personal level so he has to make sure that comes through in his hosting segment.

Michael tells us he’s decided to bring Courtland in as his right-hand handy man.

Michael – “Did you see that camel toe at Thursday’s Mai Tai?” Courtland – “Hahaha It was major.” Michael – “Oh hello, there. Today Courtland will be assisting me with…”

Michael – “Courtland is the Norm Abram to my Bob Villa.”

Michael tells us there is great chemistry between him and Courtland. Courtland can create things that Michael can’t, and Michael can think up things that Courtland can’t. Michael says when they get together they have great fun.

Courtland – “Fist bump.” Michael makes explosion noise.

AT ZARIN FABRICS…

Geez that store gets a lot of show time on here. Anyway, Emily the Strange is taping a segment of her picking up fabrics.

Montage of Emily the Strange spastically rushing through the store picking out swatches.

MICHAEL’S TEAM…

Michael wants to shoot a really big intro so he and the crew and Gargamelda head over to the Williamsberg Bridge.

The director tells Michael to “bring it.” Michael says he’s so tired.

“This graffiti is giving me a headache, some crackhead offered to blow me for $5 (I turned him down. I don’t want a Herpes Hoover Vacuum on my dick), and I just found out Heidi Montag is having her implants removed. It’s too much. It’s just too much.”

Jeremy tells him “Don’t worry. We’ll make it work.” Jeremy’s pep talk gets Michael to start filming.

“Welcome to Michael’s Design Revolution. You’ve selected the red scarf and have just entered the Scarf Matrix.”

Michael keeps fucking up and saying how exhausted he is. Nina Gargamelda steps in and attempts to lighten things up by acting goofy in the background.

Nina Gargamelda – “Michael, this is my impression of Stephen Hawking doing the can-can.”

Michael tells us Nina Gargamelda really helped.

EMILY THE STRANGE’S TEAM…

Emily the Strange continues to tape and tells the camera “So now Tom’s style is now his lifestyle. Let’s go get him.”

Emily the Strange brings Tom on camera. She tells Tom to keep his eyes closed as she brings him into the room.

Tom – “I’m so excited, master. I think I might cream my pants.”

Tom opens his eyes and murmurs “Wow.” Emily the Strange asks him “What do you think?”

Tom – “Master, you got me a tall lamp!!!”

Tom’s finished room design by Emily the Strange.

And his bed with the hideaway coffin.

Tom – “Master, I’ll make you proud. I’m gonna make love to that lamp all night long.”

Tom tells us Emily the Strange is a great balance between design and style with hosting comfortability. He thinks it’s the DNA for the next design star.

Tom – “And if not, she’d make a great Lamp and Man matchmaker.”

MICHAEL’S TEAM…

Jeremy tells Nina Gargamelda “Big reaction!” Nina Gargamelda starts yelling, “OMG! OMG! This is amazing!”

Nina Gargamelda’s room design by Michael.

The bedroom.

Hmm nary a horrific braille or splooge mural in sight.

Michael flops onto the bed exclaiming once again “I’m sooo exhausted.”

Michael – “But if I die from exhaustion at least I will look fabulous in this infinity scarf.”

Nina Gargamelda tells us Michael has every right to win and if he doesn’t she will be just as upset as she was when she left.

Nina Gargamelda – “After that challenge, I went back to the fire house and changed the braille around to say FUCK YOU!”

AT THE FLATOTEL…

Emily the Strange is packing up her things. Emily the Strange tells us she thought of herself subconsciously as the underdog. After that very first episode, she never imagined she would make it this far.

Michael tells us he feels great about what he did and his segment, but he still feels nervous and anxious.

AT THE STUDIO…

Dramatic music plays. Lights shine.

Inside Emily the Strange and Michael make their way into the studio. They are greeted by friends and family, and I guess filler audience members.

Courtland yells loudly for Michael and like in a previous episode only this time the roles reversed…

Courtland – “You can paint, you can design, you can….”

Oooo oooo oooooo (Rufio crow shout)

Ah there are the judges.

Vern grits teeth – “It’s the finale and Tiegs has bare shoulders.” Genevieve – “We tried Vern. We tried.”

The applause and cheering continues.

Michael – “I don’t care if I’m dreaming. This is what it feels like to be a compact Asian Design Star, and I LOVE IT!”

Emily the Strange – “Howdy.”

Vern tells Emily the Strange and Michael after tonight one of you will be the winner and other will be out.

The judges and audience watch Michael’s hosting video first. After his intro this promo still flashes on the screen.

Vern looks impressed.

Vern – “Very sassy, Michael.”

Michael introduces his client and this picture pops up.

Michael assigns Nina Gargamelda homework and goes off to meet Courtland. Courtland and Michael’s segment bring the LOLZ when they fist bump w/explosion.

Michael catches up with Nina Gargamelda who is painting and she shows him her homework. The two head out to go shopping.

In the store, Michael tells us to not be afraid of unique, odd accessories like this mushroom.

“Michael says we’re not poisonous but that doesn’t mean we can’t kick your ass.”

Vern – “I see you Toad. I heard Mario boning your Princess the other night. I’ll be sure to send you their sex tape.” Toad – “Nooo not that!!!”

Michael’s video shows a montage of the room being decorated. Michael brings Nina Gargamelda in and shows her the finished room.

Everyone claps at the conclusion of Michael’s hosting video. Vern tells Emily the Strange Michael did a great job now it’s your turn.

Emily the Strange starts off her video by describing her client Tom as corporate, sophisticated, a traveler and amazing, but he has a problem. He’s a

Vampire!!!!

Therefore Tom needs a stylish and vampire friendly apartment.

Emily the Strange – “Tom, you’re going to have to invite me in. You know the rules.” Tom – “Oh sorry. Emily the Strange, you may come in.”

Emily the Strange looks around and tells Tom she sees a lot of problems. Tom laughs and says “I have a lot of problems.”

Emily the Strange looks at Tom and then his wardrobe to get a feel for his style. She tells the camera Tom isn’t rock and roll but his suits aren’t grandpa’s either.

Tom in the audience nods.

Tom – “She’s right. Those I stole off of a great-great grandfather from the crypt.

Montage of Emily the Strange shopping for fabrics, doing wall treatments, having furniture delivered and accessorizing.

Emily the Strange brings Tom in for the big reveal.

In the audience, Tom starts laughing as he sees himself on t.v.

Emily the Strange’s clip ends with her show promo still shot.

Vern smiles and tells Emily the Strange and Michael that the judges have a huge decision to make. Vern dismisses the designers so the judges can deliberate.

Cheryl Tiegs loves the carefree style of Emily the Strange. Vern thinks she has an incredible design perspective, but his concern is how come they didn’t see that in the beginning of the competition.

Genevieve says Michael came from a strange place in the beginning but now his hosting has gotten better; however, she still doesn’t know if he’s being genuine on camera. Vern thinks Michael has some ingenious techniques.

Emily the Strange and Michael come back in.

Vern tells them they are both highly qualified and that this was a hard decision.

Vern announces the winner is EMILY THE STRANGE!!!

Emily the Strange – “Now every day will be huevos racheros!!”

The judges each hug Emily the Strange, and Vern tells us to check out Emily the Strange’s new show “Secrets From a Stylist” right here on HGTV.

And we end with Courtland telling Michael

Courtland – “It’s okay. Let’s go get a Mai Tai.” Michael sniffling – “Okay. I was so close. I could taste the Ramen Noodles. I coulda been a compact Asian design host.”

Well guys, it’s been a lot of fun recapping this season of Design Star. Hope you enjoyed this band of misfit designers as much as I did. See you next season!