Design Star: Attack of the Fluttering Knickers

I apologize for another tardy recap. My laptop is about as active as Jason’s sense of sophistication. Meaning, not. Not active.

Thank you for all for sticking with me. Or is it just Antonio you’re after? I promise, there’s more of Tone after the jump…

It’s episode six of Design Star and five designers remain. Nate was sent back to the toy shop last week, leaving Jason, Meredith, Antonio, Torie Sugarbaker and Danny Appleseed still competing to become HGTV’s Design Star.

The designers are called to the work room to meet Clive Flynn and pick a paint can. Clive announces this challenge will be an individual challenge, because an odd number usually necessitates that.

The contestants will be designing a child’s bedroom. Jason says it’s time for an individual challenge, because it will force “the designers to step up the decorators to fall off.” The decorators will fall off, Jase–I’m guessing onto your mother’s couch and into a pint of Chubby Hubby.

Tone says he’s never designed a child’s bedroom, but he has had clients that act like children so he knows what to do. Tone has proved to be an amicable and fairly mellow guy. As long as his child doesn’t ask for a tan bedroom, I’m confident Tone will be able to do well.

Clive Flynn says the designers will each have the assistance of a carpenter, $5,000 and 22 work hours. It will also be the first opportunity for the designers to “host” the space. HGTV does bill this as a hosting competition and we’ve yet to see the Sugarbaker display her pagent abilities, so I’m curious to see the results.

The designers have selected their paint cans and now they reveal the number they’ve been chosen. Four designers are assigned rooms in one home and Meredith is at a neighbor’s house down the street. Meredith informs us she’s not in the same house as her fellow contestants like this means she’ll be last to hear the competition gossip or won’t have access to their pool, or something scarring. I would consider not sharing a hallway with the screams of “hey girl, hey!” an advantage.

Meredith is first to meet her client. She was hoping to have a girl’s room to design… but instead she opens the door to find Nico, a 17 year old boy with a penchant for baseball – and baseball kitsch.

Nico even has a baseball ceiling fan. He like his baseball stuff, but doesn’t insist on a Billy Madison, baseball glove chair or anything, he just wants to change the color in his room and liven it up. He could also use some storage.

Tone meets his client, five year old Connor. Connor like fast cars (and fast women) just like Antonio.

In addition, he likes Scooby Doo, mountains of spaghetti, dinosaurs, skin art and abstract concepts. Connor is an artistic kid, so Tone’s gonna do it up.

Dan’s client is Helena, she’s an 11 year old environmentalist, who has yet to discover the price of eco-friendly materials, and on HGTV’s dime, she requests an eco-friendly room. Good girl Helena, give’em a real challenge.

Helena needs a large television because she suffered a loss of vision in one eye. She likes earth tones, so Dan is planning on blues and greens. It’s also important that Dan reuse items that are in the room. Waste not, want not, as Grandpa always says.

Jason is paired with Paulina, age 17, who — unfortunately for Jason — has perfect vision.

She wants a princess room which, and even though he has not donned his signature pink ruffled shirt today, Jason is excited to deliver. Jason wants to produce something “crazy sophisticated for her.” And I want to produce the first ballet version of Pippi Longstocking — although we may have some training, but I think we’re lacking the raw talent and vision to make it successful.

Torie is last, her client is Carina, age eight, who is a artist. She likes green, red and blue and Torie is committed to putting that color palate in the room. This palate is a little to sugary, a little bit too much like Fun Dip — great for ten minutes with stomachaches to follow.

Time has started on the designers as Dan heads out to shop. He’s out picking sustanible materials to use in the space, while his carpenter repurposes the dresser. Dan found bamboo flooring which is a green product and is still on the hunt for some other big ticket items. His client has vision problems and Dan is planning to give her a large TV in the room. I really hope this girl is a genius and has just conceived a brilliant plan to get the most expensive room with the biggest TV. Suck on that “Paulina’s Pretty Pretty Princess room.” Oh man, Nate is missing this!

Tone has settled on a dinosaur theme for five year old Connor. He’s going to “go prehistoric” and create a “little man cave.” Which is adorable, but caves don’t come equipped with much storage, so Tone is shopping for a bed with storage underneath.

In Nico’s room, Mere plans to rip up the carpet and expose the hardwood floors that are in the rest of the house. She’s trying to achieve a modern, clean design with a baseball theme. She’s planning to make home plate shaped cut outs to put on the accent wall as a graphic.

Torie is going to create an artist’s loft for Carina. She’s going to purchase a loft bed and cover one wall in fabric. The final touch will be Carina’s name in lights on one wall. Which will continue to be fabulous when Carina’s still in this room at age 34, because she’s still trying to make it as an artist.

Jason is planning a lot of built-ins for his princess room. He upgrading the pale pink palette with accents of black and a darker pink to up the level of sophistication.

Jason returns from shopping and finds his contractor hasn’t completed the work he’s assigned him. He hasn’t prepped the walls, he appears to have not done anything but stare at the floor. Which of not a valuable skill set outside the land of cubicles. Jason goes with his gut and fires him. Let’s all say a prayer that my boss never acts on the same instinct.

Dan’s contractor is half finished with the floor when Dan returns, so Appleseed is able to start painting. Dan is selected green and blue paint with pink accents. Because greens and blues are earthy and because he saw this combination in her friendship bracelet collection.

Mere’s contractor has ripped up the carpet only to find that half the floor is hardwood and half is plywood, so she had no choice but to go find flooring. Meredith will have to assist her contractor is laying the floors tomorrow and that will put her behind schedule.

Day 2: 10 hours.

David Bromstad, winner of season one, checks in with each designer to offer his expertise. He checks in with Torie first. She goes apeshit at the sight of David.

David arrives at Connor’s door next, to check in with our favorite illustrated designer. David wants to know what the concept for the room will be and he seems pleased that Tone is taking this seriously and creating a “little man cave,” for his client.

David meets with Jase next, and surprise, surprise, Jason squeals with delight at the sight of the season one designer. DBro asks for the client profile, the theme and the “wow” factor. Jason says he has a teenage girl, so he’s creating a princess room for her. Jase is going to wow the judges with a brocade pattern around the window.

David checks in with the last designer in this house, Danny Appleseed. Dan and David meet and there is almost too much prettiness for one camera.

But the camera man pushes through and Danny explains his client is a budding environmentalist who asked for an eco-friendly room. David asks about the floor plan, and stresses that any bedroom should be all about the bed. Weird he didn’t mention that to Jason. Think he has a type?

Down the block Meredith is at work on Nico’s bedroom and when she is joined by David. She tells him the tale of hardwood woes and her plans for the new floor. Mere’s accent wall will be her “wow” factor.

It’s nearing the end of day two so the designers are out on their final shopping trip while they still have contractors to assist them. Torie decides to have her carpenter build more shelving for Carina and she needs him to finish adding the brackets to the letters she plans to mount on the focal wall.

Dan is reusing Helena’s dresser and is creating a single built in unit under the window, with a desk and seating area. Dan is scouring thrift shops to find and reuse pieces for Helena’s bedroom. He comes across a light fixture, garden tiles and an iron piece he places to use as a headboard. He also plans to reuse the gumball machine that his client loves.

Jason’s new carpenter is adding built-ins over the bed for Paulina, while Jason is out shopping. Jason finds a chandelier for Princess Paulina’s room and also picks up a black lacquer mirror. He hasn’t found the shag rug yet and starts to get upset. He walks through a couple more stores muttering to himself, but doesn’t find what he’s looking for. Jason is praying to find something passable in the third store, but is concerned he won’t. He fears he’s strayed off the concept and the room is not going to turn out the way he wants it to. Then he cries. In the last store he says needs to walk out with something. He does. Just like last call…

Mere’s contractor estimated the floor could be installed in two and a half hours, but the installation is running longer. Mere leaves to shop for a desk, bed and bench.

Tone is putting dino stickers on the walls. I believe I made fun of the “Fathead” last week, but now they’re totally legit. I should have seen the appeal, they’re like tattoos for walls… duh.

Day 3. 2 hours.

Meredith and Jason commiserate about being behind schedule. Mere knows that under the time constraints, she’s going to have to leave some things out. Jason agrees, he’s going to leave out sophistication and good taste.

Jason still has to create his headboard, which he’ll be making out of placemats. Which is cheap for dorm room design. I had the obligatory collage of Absolut ads in my dorm room, and I think that looks cheap.

All the designers are prepping, scrambling and cleaning as Clive Flynn arrives to call time.

Elimination:

Finally it’s time to reveal hosting abilities, Tone is up first. He reveals the room to Connor, who loves his bed room.

It’s adorable, and Tone even incorporated a blow up of Connor under his television. Vern calls Antonio’s hosting enjoyable, but Gen says he has to do more than point out what he did. He has to explain his thinking. Candy Stallion calls him the Tony Soprano of design. And for some reason does an impression of Tone that look like she’s having a fit.

Torie’s hosting comes across like instructions from a team cheer captain. Candy Stallion thinks she should work the country angle, it’s cute. Gen thinks she’s stiff and Vern thinks the room is incomplete

It looks like the remnant room at the fabric Warehouse. I have to agree. Vida Boheme, uses fabric in a hotel room more effectively.

Jason’s up and his hosting is kind of good. He says “Pink Paulina Princess Room” one too many times for my liking, but Candy agrees that he totally sold it.

Vern, the buzz kill, has to point out that the room sucked. Candy agrees the “before and after” suffered because he didn’t change the color of the room and Gen points out that princess’s room should be lux and Jason put placemats on the wall, which equals not lux. The brocade window looks like drunken graffiti. Harold and his purple crayon have done better work.

Mere’s room is revealed and Nico genuinely seems to like it. Mere is okay on camera, but not totally charming.

The Candy Stallion spins it in Meredith’s favor and says she likes the “girl next door” act. Vern likes the graphic wall… but warns her to try something different next time.

Dan’s segment opens and he immediately take the patented Steve Irwin hosting-crouch position.

He then proceeds to giggle his way far from consistent likeability.

The judges like certain aspects, in fact the gumball light does more for Candy’s knickers than Mr. Stallion. However, Gen doesn’t like the color palate, it’s a little harsh.

After deliberation, Mere and Tone are on top and Dan, Torie and Jason are on the bottom.

Dan’s room didn’t come together and he had an annoying, nervous giggle. Torie is stiff and her room was too literal. Jason was dead in the water from the start. C’mon.

Jason’s cancelled. And all is right with the world.

What did you think of Jason’s hosting abilities and Dan’s giggle fits? Will “Ink Your Space” with Tone really come to fruition? I vote yes.

Episode 7 coming soon.