Desperate Housewives: Everyday Antifreeze

Recaps

By Hypnotoad | Wednesday, May 4, 2011 | 6:00 am | 46 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Desperate Housewives, Featured, Recaps

Mary Alice has something to say this week, guys.  This is unusual, so let’s let her speak.  She wants to tell us about pests and how Bree dealt with them:  Swatting them, poisoning them, shooting them with rifles.

DH72001And after that horrible, horrible day, the Jehovah’s Witnesses never bothered Bree Hodge again . . .

But lately there have been some different pests in Bree’s house.  Chubby, Mexican pests (fine, yeah, I used that joke for the minicap, so sue me!).  Turns out, Gabby’s kids are slobs who track dirt and mud into Bree’s immaculate house.  Bree wonders how much longer the Solis gals are staying and Gabby says Carlos will be begging to have them back in no time.  Seriously?  Dude is drinking Corona and surfing the internet for lesbian porn.  Non-stop.  Methinks he’s enjoying himself way too much to have the girls back.  Celia and Juanita are arguing in the kitchen and then they steal 2 dozen cookies.  Gabby:  “You can’t leave food out.  They’re like bears — you gotta tie it up in a tree.”  Hee.  (This would have been funnier had the official Desperate Housewives Twitter feed not tweeted every damn funny line last week.  Jerkasses.)  Bree says that Gabby should take this opportunity to teach the girls some discipline.  And then Celia and Juanita break a plate.  I’m not sure if it was an accident or if they’re hosting an impromptu Greek wedding reception.  Either way, Bree is not happy.  Opa!  Credits.

DH72002

Mary Alice tells us that sometimes we do good deeds to get something in return.  Like when I helped you move your couch up three flights of stairs in hopes that you’d take me to Red Lobster for Lobsterfest, but no.  No.  You have done nothing.  You are dead to me.  Susan, though, is actually helping Paul Young out of the goodness of her heart.  Oh yeah.  THIS won’t backfire.  At all.  Susan wants to help Paul figure out what he wants to do next.  What does Paul do for a job?  Where’s he getting all his money?  Real estate investments?  We’ll go with that.  Turns out Felicia is in Paul’s house, taking some of Beth’s stuff.  Susan says she’s cooking for Paul now and Felicia announces that she and Paul are good now and she’s moved back to the Lane.  Paul breaks the news to Susan that Beth was Feclicia’s daughter.

DH72003“Ah.  So, my kidney has crazy homicidal bitch DNA.  Fantastic.”

Susan immediately goes outside to tell the other ladies about this juicy news.  She tells them that she’s bringing food to Paul because he’s sad and all.  She adds that the kidney gave her a second chance in life and she thinks Paul deserves the same thing.  You know what Paul deserves?  A make-out session.  With me.

Over at the ole Scavo place, Lynette and Renee are celebrating.  I’m assuming it’s later that day, unless Renee and Lynette immediately ran into Lynette’s house after Susan told them about Paul.

DH72004“Here’s to me actually having a plot this week!”

Oh, hey, I guess the writers read my recaps, because they’re celebrating the fact that they have — wait for it, wait for it — a freaking design job!  Tom comes in and says that they should redesign his new office and there’s $20,000 allocated for the job.  Well, that’s great, Tom.  It’s not like the company needs that 4th of July picnic.  It’s not like the administrative people need bonuses.  No, no, you take that money and spend it on things you need, like leather club chairs and douchey inspirational posters.

DH72005This will hang behind Tom’s desk.  It’s an intimidation thing.

And by the was — hell yes, I’d tap that.  All the men on this show are do-able.  Well, maybe not Roy, although I’m sure he was a looker back in the day.

DH72006Well . . . I bet his hair stayed in place . . .

Lynette and Renee are totes excited to decorate Tom’s office, but more excited to have some money.

Gabby bought some flowers for Bree, with no ulterior motive . . . save for the fact that her kids broke a mirror.  As well as a serving dish.  Bree gets the eff out of there before she cuts a bitch, but she can’t go anywhere because someone is blocking her driveway.  Bree does the rational thing by getting into the person’s car and honking the horn.  And of course this car belongs to a somewhat hunky gentleman.

DH72007“Hello.  I’ll be filling the void left by that tattooed guy from 90210.”

Has anyone else completely forgotten about Keith?  I’m not just saying this to be clever, it’s the truth:  I had literally not even thought of him until just now.  Shows what a lasting impression THAT character made.  Anyway, this guy is the owner of the car and says that Bree illegally entering his car is a criminal offense.  How would he know?  He’s a cop.  A cop who blocks driveways and leaves his car unlocked.  With the window down.  Ah, yes, the Fairview Police.  I believe their motto is:  “Meh, someone from Wisteria Lane will solve it.”  Bree says that she’s sorry, she’s just so frazzled from having non-Caucasian people in her house.  The girls are driving her so crazy she kiddingly asks  to borrow his gun.  He threatens to arrest her for multiple things, but it turns out he’s kidding.  Bree is flabbergasted and maybe a mite twitter-pated!

Bree’s making dinner while the girls are running crazily around the house.  Bree tells Gabby that she should probably take a “firmer hand,” and asks if she can take a whack at making the girls behave.  Gabby’s kind of insulted that Bree is insinuating that she’s a bad mom, but really Gabby, if the Louboutin fits . . .  Bree gets the girls to stop fighting with her throw pillows and starts to tell them the house rules, but they just wander off to the kitchen.  Bree tells Gabby that she’s not going to give up.  I love Gabby, but in addition to not doing a damn thing to discipline her kids, it seems like she hasn’t even offered to help Bree around the house.  Rude.  Rudeness.  Rudy Huxtable.

In Tom’s office, Renee and Lynette have been waiting to see him for 45 minutes, when he finally calls them in for their little presentation.  Lynette offers some ideas, but Tom clipped a photo of Donald Trump’s office and is all, Me wantee!  Lynette tells Tom that that isn’t really his style, but Renee, being a good businesswoman, is all, If that’s what you want, that’s cool, cuz you’re the client.  She then goes on to say that Mr. Trump had her and her husband on his yacht all the time.  Which I totally believe because we all know how Trump is cool with “the blacks.”  Douche.  She says she’ll call Trump’s assistant and see where he got everything.  Just cut out the middleman and call Satan, Renee.  He’ll let you know.  Lynette is still being all pissy, because, well, she’s Lynette, and says that they’re not going to do the office like Tom wants because SHE knows what Tom wants more than anyone else.  Oh, this is such a fresh change of plot and personality for Lynette!

Felicia goes over to Susan’s apartment, because she’s been missing Beth so much and “a part of her” is inside Susan.  Susan’s cooking a chicken pot pie for Paul.  Yes folks, this episode invalidates every single joke ever made at the expense of Susan’s cooking ability.  *Sigh.*  Let’s just pretend that a.) In the (lame) five-year jump between seasons 4 and 5, Susan took cooking classes, or b.) Beth’s kidney gave Susan super-human cooking powers.  Felicia says that she hopes she and Susan can be friends, because Paul’s forgiven her and she wants things to go back to normal.  While Susan’s making the pie filling, Felicia suddenly gets a convenient migraine, and while Susan goes to get some aspirin, Felicia pours a little something over the ingredients.

DH72008“This Mrs. Dash will spoil everything.  EVERYTHING!  MWAHAHAHAHA!”

At home, Felicia is reading aloud from a nurse’s textbook to the ashes of Beth, describing the symptoms of poisoning, which mask themselves as heart problems, until, you know, death.  Turns out, our li’l Felicia plans to poison Paul with antifreeze.  I don’t know.  I tend to think something like Drano works better.

DH72009“Corn nuts!”

Plain or BQ?  BQ!  If you have not seen the movie Heathers, you are SORELY missing out, my friends.  Stop reading this recap immediately and watch it.  Watch it now!

Anyway, what follows is a little montage of Felicia Tilman finding various ways to inject the food Susan’s preparing for Paul with antifreeze.  She injects one (ONE.) potato with antifreeze while helping Susan with groceries, which she serves to Paul as mashed potatoes.

DH72010“Mmm!  It’s ethylene-tastic!”

She distracts Susan and dumps some antifreeze on some apples when Susan makes an apple pie; she switches the orange juice in Susan’s cart at the store with a (apparently) poisoned carton.  Later, Felicia asks Susan if Paul’s getting any better, but Susan tells her he’s just getting worse and worse.

DH72011“Although I have to say he does seem oddly protected against rust corrosion.”

Celia and Juanita are back at their old house to see Carlos.

DH72012Um, did Gabby take all of the furniture with her?

Seriously, why is the living room so empty?  And also, why are the girls all, “Daddy, daddy, we missed you!”  They’re on the same.  Damn.  Block.  Whatever.  Gabby tells Carlos that they seem like a divorced couple.  Well, Gabby should know.  The girl’s got plenty of break-up experience.  Carlos says that as long as Gabby talks to Bree, nothing’s going to change.  Juanita asks Carlos why he hates Mommy so much.  He tells her that Bree did something that made him mad, but it’s an adult thing, so she wouldn’t understand.  Juanita is all, You guys always say that whenever you don’t want to talk about something.  Carlos caves and tells Juanita that she should hear about how Grandma died.

Susan’s in bed when Mike comes up to her to ask if she’s seen their latest bank statement, which she has not.  Apparently, they’ve paid all their bills!  Yay!  And Susan used her poker money to help them out.  So, let’s just ignore the fact that last year Mike didn’t want to take Susan’s money to help him get out of debt.  Because apparently, this year he’s totally cool with taking Susan’s money.  That she won.  At a casino.  Playing poker.  Mike says that they’re so flush with cashola now they can afford to move back to Wisteria Lane.  He goes on to say that since Susan is so buddy-buddy with Paul now, maybe she can convince him that living in a house full of memories about his dead wife isn’t so great.  Are there any houses left on Wisteria Lane that some lady hasn’t died in or around?  Man.  I’d hate to be the real estate agent for that street.

DH72013

 

Good luck, Lee!  Mike says that he hates Paul, but they should get something out of her newfound friendship with him.

Carlos has finished telling Juanita about what went down with Mama Solis.  Juanita brings Celia in and tells her that Bree killed Grandma!  Celia is shocked!

DH72014“I, for one, cannot believe the audacity of our neighbor, whose friendship we have heartily cherished throughout these past years.  Juanita, dearest sister, my sincere thanks for this most distressing of news.  Come, let us dine on Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, as it will give us strength in the upcoming fortnight.”

Wow, that Celia is a talker, you guys!  The next day, Celia and Juanita are all obedient to “Mrs. Van De Kamp,” mostly because they’re about to poop their pull-ups out of fear that she will kill them.  Gabby’s shocked to find Juanita quietly helping Bree with the brussels sprouts for dinner.  She’s even more shocked to see that the cupcakes Bree made for dessert haven’t even been touched.  Bree says that she just sat them down and explained how things would be from now on.  Gabby asks if she drugged them (hee), but Bree says that children need “structure and a firm hand.”

DH72015“Also, dropping them off in the middle of nowhere with 50 bucks or faking your own pregnancy to hide theirs can’t hurt.  It’s just good parenting.”

 

Bree says that if Gabby does what she’s been doing, the girls will be behaved when they get back to Carlos.  When Bree goes upstairs, Gabby tries to get Juanita to sneak a cupcake upstairs, but Juanita, still scared that she’ll wake up with a horse head in her bed if she disobeys Bree, says that she’d rather have an apple.  Wha?!  “Me want apple?!”  That’s not even funny!  I can’t work with that!!!!

Tom’s office.  Lynette is directing the moving men where to put the chairs when Renee arrives.  Turns out, Lynette went behind Renee’s back and designed Tom’s office the way she thinks Tom would want it.  Really, Renee?  You’re surprised that Lynette did this?  Have you not seen this show before?  Lynette blahs about how she knows what Tom wants more than he does.  Renee’s all, Way to ignore the client’s wishes.

At night, Bree goes into the room where Juanita and Celia are sleeping.  She notices a pillow on the floor, and as she’s trying to put it back, Juanita wakes up, thinks Bree is trying to smother her, and starts screaming.  Celia joins in, and they run screaming to another room.  Hee!  Gabby asks Bree what she did to them, but Bree says she did nothing.  As Gabby’s calling Carlos, the doorbell rings and it turns out it’s Detective Chuck, the cop from earlier.  He got a dispatch about a 911 call in which two girls called from her address saying that some crazy lady is about to kill them.  And he recognizes Bree as the lady who joked about killing the girls the other day.  Someone picked a big bouquet of oopsie-daisies!

Chuck returns from speaking with Celia and Juanita.  I guess they told him that Bree wanted to murder them.  Carlos shows up and Chuck asks if Carlos told his daughters that Bree killed his mom.  Oooh, awkward.  Carlos says that he was talking about his mom’s death and that he missed Gabby almost as much as he missed his mom, and he blames Bree for making him feel that way — they must have gotten confused.  I’m kind of impressed with Carlos’s lie, y’all.  Not as impressed as I’d be if he said it with his shirt off, but still.  Impressed.

Bree walks Chuck outside and asks him why he showed up instead of a patrolman.  He says he was in the area and said he’d take care of it.  He also wanted to see Bree again, mostly about Mrs. Tilman, but she should call him if she sees anything.  Or if she just feels like calling him.  Bree says that she can’t figure him out.  Chuck seriously says this:  “I’m a detective.  I find clues.  I don’t give them.”  For reals, writers?  Lame.

Gabby asks why Carlos told them about Mama Solis and he says they needed to know the truth.  Carlos says that he only told the girls that Bree helped protect who killed Mama, to which Gabby rightly replies that they’d do the same thing for their kids (my money’s on Celia being the killer in the family).  And honestly, once you’ve left a city Mayor for dead in the middle of the ocean and then rigged his boat to go out to sea in order to make it look like an accident, you really don’t have room to judge, CARLOS.  Gabby says that families stick together and Carlos asks her why she chose Bree if that’s the case.  Bree enters and thanks Carlos for doing what he did.  He says he did it for Andrew, who was a kid when it happened, not for Bree, who covered it up.  Okay, I get that Carlos is mad at Bree, but seriously?  Andrew was 16 when he ran over Mama Solis.  That’s not really a “kid.”  Plus, he was drunk (right?  Wasn’t he drunk?  Or had been drinking?).  Plus, he was a total asshole back then.  I don’t get the whole Blaming Bree More Than Andrew thing.  Carlos takes the girls back to his house.

Bree tells Gabby that this situation will never go away, so she should go home.  She already feels responsible for killing Mama Solis (again, it was pretty much a combo of Andrew and that nurse who took a smoke break while Mama Solis fell down 4 flights of stairs) and doesn’t want to feel responsible for breaking up a home as well.  Gabby says she’ll call her, but Bree tells her not to.  Awww, sad!

DH72016“Can I at least have a thermos of white zin and some cupcakes for the road?”

Felicia is back at Susan’s apartment, where some brownies are fresh out of the oven.  Susan wants Felicia to try one, since Susan is allergic to nuts.  Since when?  Wandering spleen, kidney transplant, horrible nut allergy — what’s next, writers, huh?  How about next season, you give Susan some hemorrhoids and a goiter.  Geez.  Felicia tries one and says that they’re delicious, but she won’t eat any more.  Susan’s all, Well I’ll have to throw these away if they suck.  But since Felicia doesn’t want that to happen, she eats some more, then excuses herself because she has to go buy a new handbag.  Susan asks her what’s wrong with the one she has.  Flash cut to:  Felicia, outside, barfing up antifreeze brownies into her purse.  She gets to her car and realizes she left her keys in the bag.  Hee.

Tom’s office again.  Lynette and Renee are waiting for Tom to come out of his office — when he does, he absolutely loves the changes!  Lynette gloats . . . but when she enters, the office is not the same one she left the other day.

DH72017Oh, crap.  My nightmares are projecting themselves again.

WTF?  It’s like Hitler’s bunker, Bass Pro Shops, and Satan all got drunk and barfed this into existence.  However, kudos to Renee for going behind Lynette’s back and creating this . . . abomination unto mankind and business firms.  Lynette is, of course, pissed off.  She drags Renee outside to complain, where Renee says that this is who Tom is NOW, not who he was when he wasn’t a successful ball-busting CFO, so she needs to accept it.

And, Lynette being Lynette, she does not accept.  She goes back in and is all, Tom this isn’t you at all and it sucks, and it was all Renee’s idea.  She says he’s a down-to-earth guy, not some jackhole who needs to prove that he’s some big man.  Tom says that he’s all of that now because some young stud could come up and try to steal his job.  Or something.  To be honest, I kind of checked out on this scene.  Tom says he has a role to play.  “And I’m sorry if that threatens you!”  Lynette says that she doesn’t want to lose the Tom she married, and he’s all, “Tom the screwup,” the guy who always failed so Lynette could be the one to save them and the family?  Lynette says she’s glad of his success, but Tom hasn’t seen any sign that she means it.  He was glad she got that he wanted the office that way because it meant that she was proud of him, but that’s not the case.  Tom takes a call and Lynette leaves.  Just.  Break.  Up.  And get.  It.  Over with already!  You can get back together next season.  At the END of next season.

Susan is back at Paul’s house, where Paul has little appetite and is kind of woozy.  Aww, Paul, all you need is a good cuddle.  And, you know, some antidote.  Susan asks if Paul might need a change of scenery — not a move from Fairview, but a different house.  Paul is all, I couldn’t do that to you and leave you to find another renter.  Which was actually a really nice thing for Paul to say.  This, of course, all goes to shit when Susan says that she and Mike can afford to (and want to) move back in.  Paul calls himself an idiot for believing that Susan cared about him when all this time she was just buttering him up so she could get the house back.  Susan says that that’s not true, that Mike just suggested it, and then Paul kind of loses it, throwing Susan out of the house and telling her never to come back.

Mary Alice, wrap it up for us!  She tells us about how sometimes good deeds have bad consequences, which I think we all learned from tonight’s episode.  Of course, one of the worst consequences is probably death, which Paul is probably thinking about right now as he clutches his chest and falls to the floor!  Oh no!  Please, bury him with his shirt off.  Give me that, Cherry.

DH72018“Tell . . . Mary Alice . . . that I . . . get to voice over . . . the next episode . . . blurg argh.”

Next Week:  Bree dates the cop and Renee finds out a big secret about him.  Tom and Lynette fight again (and I think they’re actually maybe building up to a split, which is exciting!).  There may be an ax-killer on the loose.  To clarify:  Not someone who kills axes, someone who kills WITH axes.

 

 

Hypnotoad
About

Hypnotoad is a 2009 graduate of the MFA Writing program at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. He was a staple of the Chicago Quickies reading series, has been published in various Art Institute publications, and served as an actor/playwright for the Curious Theatre Branch's Rhinoceros Festival. His works have been online at Fiction At Work and is included in their short story collection. A victim of the crappy economy, he is now living back in Kansas. With his parents. His days now consist of perusing Yahoo Hot Jobs, and sporadically posting horrible ideas on his blog. Good times.

46 Comments

  1. 1
    Nikki Hughes
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 6:29 am

    I’m only on page 3 but, um…..doesn’t Paul OWN like, 5 houses on that street??

  2. 2
    Jess Chapman
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 6:39 am

    There’s always a moment in DH in which I feel like screaming at the TV. This week, it was the ending montage, in which Tom tries to snuggle with Lynette in bed and she looks all pouty, and Mary Alice says some shtick about “pushing a spouse away.” This after Lynette spent the entire episode whinging about how she knows Tom better than he knows himself, end of story.

    And so I screamed: “Tom, YOU should be the one pulling away! She’s an emasculating bint! Why don’t you cash in a few of those stock options and buy yourself some balls?!” (I only did this mentally because it would have freaked out my parents a little too much.)

  3. 3
    Bioscotto
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 8:47 am

    @Nikki – I had the same thought. There are like…lots of houses on that street that are his. Why is he paying rent living in a house that isn’t his? Oh writers…you are so confusing…

    As for Tom and Lynette: I don’t even care any more…they can both jump out the window of Tom’s Satan-Hitler-Trump-puke office. Gah! (However, if this really is building to a big change like them breaking up…that might be something! OMG! What if that’s how they keep Vanessa Williams around…what if he moves in with her!? OMG OMG OMG! :D

  4. 4
    Terrence
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 9:39 am

    I am so over Lynette stomping on Tom’s balls! When I saw Lynette bragging about how she knows what the man wants better than he does I was appalled. Really woman? Really?

    It would be different if he wasn’t sure what he wanted. No. He told Lynette exactly what he wanted plain and simple. Like Renee said she’s on her way to being the first wife.

  5. 5
    Kimberly
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 10:39 am

    I figure Paul probably got a huge settlement when he was released from prison seeing as he didn’t kill Felicia – wrongful imprisonment usually comes with cash. So that’s probably where all the money is coming from.

    As for Mama Solis…it’s awful that Andrew ran her down. It’s awful that Bree covered it up, though I agree that most parents would do the same. But Carlos blaming either of them for her death is ludicrous. She was up and wandering around the hospital, just fine, healthy, dandy, and she fell down some stairs. The fall killed her, and Bree and Andrew had nothing to do with that. So Carlos just needs to STFU.

    And your little speech for Celia was epic. Love your recaps.

  6. 6
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Oh, you guys. Tom and Lynette. I too am so over it. I know they’re constantly teasing us with stuff in the previews for the upcoming episodes, but I got the feeling since they’re treating yet ANOTHER Tom/Lynette fight as something preview-worthy, that they may be building to something. I’ve always respected Tom and Lynette’s relationship and have been glad they’ve stuck together (I liked the Rick plot-line in season 3), but it’s been too much this season. So, maybe they’ve been piling on the lame fights for a reason and will break them up.

    That said, I *do* think they should get back together. It would be really sad if Tom and Lynette didn’t end up with each other. But if a big chunk of next season deals with them being separated (which would garner some really fresh story lines), it would be very satisfying.

    Nikki/Bioscotto — He does own a lot of houses, right? Are any of them empty or do they all have residents? Maybe he just doesn’t want to move all of his stuff.

    Kimberly — totally. Although, does Carlos actually know that that happened? For some reason, I remember the hospital covering it up with only Gabby knowing, and her possibly getting some sort of settlement and hiding it from Carlos. Is that right? I’m just not sure that Carlos knows. I guess one could argue that she wouldn’t have even been in the hospital were it not for Andrew, but still. It’s Nurse Neglecty’s fault, to be sure.

    Bioscotto — Renee and Tom getting together would be so awesome! It would be reminiscent of Edie and Karl in season 1.

  7. 7
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 11:27 am

    Kimberly — I was wrong: Carlos eventually did find out about how Mama died, as well as the settlement. My bad!

    Also, I did some research (meaning I typed “antifreeze” into Wikipedia), and I guess antifreeze has a sweet taste to it, and it’s very difficult to tell if someone’s been poisoned with antifreeze since it’s symptoms mimic those of other diseases and causes of death.

    So basically, if you’re going to poison someone, antifreeze is the way to go. Although I doubt injecting it into ONE potato, chopping said potato up, boiling it, and then mashing the crap out of it with other potatoes would do any good. But what do I know?

  8. 8
    Bioscotto
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 11:48 am

    Well…it was a build up over time, right? So…one potato here, a dash in the soup there, a little extra in the brownie…and viola! Death!

  9. 9
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 11:51 am

    I suppose. It seemed like too small of an amount, spread out in each dish, for me. But it’s just a tv show. I should cut it some slack. And I’m not really the expert on poisonings — I’m more of a smotherer — so I could definitely be wrong.

  10. 10
    Terrence
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 12:11 pm

    Oh and like the Jacqueline Susann reference “Everyday Antifreeze”/”Everyday Josephine”.

    Yeah they have to be building up to a break up with Tom and Lynette. I’m starting to like her less and less these days but that just means that Felicity Huffman is doing a good job.

    Yeah one would think with all the houses he owns it wouldn’t be a big deal. Also Susan wasn’t exactly kicking him out she was just asking him nicely. But at the end of the day he signed a lease legally she just can’t kick him out without some type of notice.

  11. 11
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    Terrence — I was going for an “Everyday Italian” reference, lol. Title fail!

    It bothered me how lazy Gabby was in this episode. I mean, I know that’s who she kind of is, but geez lady — show some respect! It’s not your house!

  12. 12
    Clair Clair
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    I forgot about the carlos/boat thing. But then, I’m not a fan of that politician guy. Hated him in Sex and the City too. Bleck.

    Funny, funny recap!!!

  13. 13
    Bioscotto
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    FYI – The guy who plays Carlos was arrested for driving under the influence!

    http://www.ivillage.com/desperate-housewives-ricardo-chavira-arrested-dui/1-a-346087

    So…that’s fun!

  14. 14
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    Ricardo Antonio Chavira, noooooooo! Well that sucks. He seemed like a stand up guy. He’ll bounce back. This quote from the article gave me the lolz, for some reason:

    “He failed to yield the right of way, then accelerated to 60 mph in a 35 mph zone and threw a McDonald’s wrapper out of his window,” the source said.”

    AND he was drunk!!! I mean, geez, how many laws can you break at one time? Was he staging dog fights in the backseat of his car? Geez.

  15. 15
    georgiababe
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    Okay, I have to ask. Do you Americans wear shoes in your houses? An American who visited me once found it strange that I took my shoes off, but I thought perhaps she was an anomaly, but this episode made me wonder.

    Because that is super weird. I don’t really understand why you would leave your shoes on inside, imagine how many germs and parasites you track in on your shoes. Yuck.

  16. 16
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    Ah, you mean about Celia and Juanita? Well, to be fair, they’re not really representative of well-behaved kids. Plus, they’re kids. Also, I thought you were American. Now I’m not sure if I can continue corresponding with you, georgiababe. (Just kidding!)

    I keep my shoes in my bedroom, but I don’t usually put them on unless I’m leaving to go somewhere. Around the house I’ll wear socks or flip-flops. It’s more of a comfort thing than a cleanliness thing. But I think (and this is just my opinion) Americans who are all, “Please take your shoes off upon entering my home” are kind of pretentious d-bags. Really? Are you going to eat dinner off your floor? No. You’re not. You get way more germs on your hands than anywhere else. I can understand if people have kids crawling around on the floor, but otherwise, I don’t see the point. If I stepped on a big pile of dog shit, I’m not going to track it all over the house — I’ll take my shoes off. But otherwise, I don’t really care if people wear shoes in my house, unless they’re really dirty. I think it’s kind of rude to ask people to take them off. That’s just me, though. (That paragraph makes me sound like a bitch. I assure that was not my intent.)

    But yeah. Americans (in my experience) wear shoes inside the house, for the most part, especially guests. If I’m visiting a really good friend, then sure, I’ll take my shoes off. But if I’m visiting someone for the first time, or it’s formal, I’m keeping those bad boys on, unless they ask me to remove them.

    I’m actually surprised Bree doesn’t make people take their shoes off and then put them in decorative baskets marked “Guests” until they leave. But then again, people walking around her house in socks . .. I don’t think she’d want that alternative. It’s an American thing, I suppose.

  17. 17
    ellemck1
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    The part where Felicia forgot her keys were in her pukey bag… hee! That was my favorite part of the episode. Also loved the little speech for Celia. One day, she’ll open her mouth and speak, and we’ll all be amazed!

    So, so, so, so very sick of this Tom-Lynette fighting crap. Just split them up, send him to Renee for a while (loved that idea!), and let things change for a bit! At least they finally got back to that design job. The writers really must read (some, seeing as they didn’t fix a lot) these recaps!

    Yeah, I take my shoes off when I get home, but it’s more of a comfort thing. I tend to wear uncomfy but really cute shoes all day long while standing for long periods of time, so getting them off is a favored part, but we really don’t care if other people wear shoes. The carpet in the house is ugly enough as it is, if it gets to a point where it just has to be changed… yeah, that’d be great. I do put them on for more “formal” occasions.

    I’m amazed that Bree doesn’t have the guest basket and a basket of closed toed slippers for people to slip on when they come over. That just seems so her.

  18. 18
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 10:52 pm

    I agree on all accounts, ellemck! This episode wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great. The Tom/Lynette stuff is really dragging this season down. Doesn’t it seem like YEARS ago when Tom’s mom moved in for a while? Yeah. That was this season.

    And I have to say that I take issue with the whole “please wear these slippers instead” thing. I mean, just thinking about how many other people put their feet in those slippers before me really creeps me out.

  19. 19
    georgiababe
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 1:00 am

    Haha, no, not American, I’m a proud Canuck. Well, I was, but the country elected Bush 2.0 the other day, so I’m thinking of jumping ship…

    And I agree re: Tom/Lynette. I know I say this every week, but I’m so tired of them! They have always been my favorite couple, but I just can’t stand them anymore.

    Great recap as usual though!

  20. 20
    georgiababe
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 1:06 am

    I thought I had already added this, but I guess not.

    Re: the shoes thing – that is so bizarre to me. Maybe it’s just a Canadian thing, but everybody takes their shoes off all the time. The only time you don’t is if you’re in a public place, like a doctor’s office or a restaurant. But kids have to take their shoes off in schools too, everybody has “outdoor shoes” and “indoor shoes”. Or at least the little ones do, it wasn’t like that from grade 7 onwards. It is totally bizarre to me that you don’t, I have only ever seen people keep their shoes on on television shows, so I always wondered if it was a real-life thing. That’s so interesting that it can be so different in two countries that are relatively similar in many aspects.

    I still think it’s totally weird though ;)

  21. 21
    kdfinjpn
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 1:31 am

    I LOVE Heathers! And I used to wear shoes in the house but after 6 years of living in a Japanese home where I am required to remove my shoes, it seems like the norm. When I visit people back in the States I remove my shoes automatically and some find it strange. However, I wear my own socks – no used slippers for me, thanks!

  22. 22
    georgiababe
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 1:32 am

    Okay, last thing.

    That office? SO ugly. And I’m not even talking about the furniture. The walls look like they’re made of cement and there is NO light anywhere and I didn’t see any windows to the outside. If I’m the head cheese at some company and I’m closing million dollar deals, I would want to have an office that didn’t look like some creepy room in a basement.

    And also, I have a cousin that didn’t speak a word until he was 5. (Well, except maybe baby talk and the occasional Mama or Dada.) No joke. His parents thought that he was mute or developmentally slow or something, but nope, apparently he just didn’t feel like talking. When he finally did start really talking, he was speaking in full sentences. So bizarre. Perhaps Celia is of that strand…

  23. 23
    Terrence
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 6:51 am

    Actually I could’ve sworn that when Celia and Juanita were playing I heard two voices screaming and laughing. Also why didn’t anyone just send them outdoors when they were misbehaving? They were just running around playing. I assume Bree has a back yard. I say that Celia can talk just fine she’s just quiet. I love quiet children.

  24. 24
    Terrence
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 7:01 am

    Also on the shoes thing. Yeah I have noticed that on tv hardly anyone takes their shoes off. Which is strange. Also when people like in bed they almost never show their feet.

    As far as a comparison to American culture I’d say that yeah when at someone else’s house it doesn’t seem appropriate to take one’s shoes off. When in my own home I’ll take my shoes off unless I know I need to go back outside again.

    I lived in a no shoes in the house place for a year and would never do it again. The worst part was that It was the worse to forget something simple and have to take my shoes off just to grab an umbrella or my lunch while already late for work. So yeah get extra annoyed when asked to take my shoes off.

  25. 25
    queenofsouth85
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 9:21 am

    And after that horrible, horrible day, the Jehovah’s Witnesses never bothered Bree Hodge again . . .
    LMAO..that was freakin hilarious hypnotoad! now all my coworkers think i’m crazy for busting out laughing at my desk!

  26. 26
    atlgirl
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 10:51 am

    I feel you guys on the no shoes thing. I agree, I always think that people who tell me to take my shoes off in their house are obnoxious, glad to know I’m not the only one. Plus it always happens on a between pedicures day.

    Really funny recap!

  27. 27
    marijai
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    The first thing I do when I get home from work is pull off my shoes and change clothes, then the contacts come out, glasses go on, and hair goes in a pony tail. I usually wear socks or houseshoes around the house all of the time as I have cold tile and hardwood floors.

    Although I’ve never been asked to take my shoes off as a guest in someone’s home, I have been asked as a guest to wear the shoe booties, like surgeons wear. I went as the guest of a guest and he explained that the hostess HATED to vacuum and had a toddler, so to keep people from tracking in stuff, everyone had to wear shoe booties. Do you know how quickly a stiletto puts a hole in those things? I bet I went through 15 of them before the end of the night.

  28. 28
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Thanks, queenofsouth85! I’m particularly proud of that caption. :)
    And thanks, atlgirl!

    georgiababe — I don’t know why they’re making Celia silent. She’s, what, 5 or so? I know that you have to have a speaking line to get a SAG card (I believe), but do you have to pay actors less if they have no lines? Are they trying to save money? And we hear her screaming all the time. I think they should address it at some point. That story about your cousin *is* bizarre. I would freak out if my kid said nothing and then one day spoke in complete sentences.

    I will feel horrible if the girl who plays Celia has some sort of . . . no-talking . . . disease . . .

    Marijai — that sounds so awkward. And kind of hilarious.

    And I think the whole shoe thing is definitely American. You know us, we like to be difficult and refuse to part with our guns and our shoes. Give me L.A. Gear or give me death! If I was in another country where that’s the norm, I would definitely follow it. And, even though I think it’s kind of strange (and sometimes rude), I would definitely take mine off if some American friend asked me to (in their house). It’s their house, not mine.

    But I am so not one of those gay guys who take care of their skin or whatever (I take showers and shave, obviously, but that’s the extent of it. I refuse to pay more than 99 cents for either soap or shampoo.), and I stand at work all day, so I’m constantly afraid of foot odor. What do you do in *that* situation? Oy.

    Still though, I can’t believe Gabby just stood there and did nothing. I would be mortified if my children did that and I would yell at them very loudly. Maybe it’s because I don’t have kids, but I’m pretty sure there are ways to punish even the most rambunctious of children and make them realize that a.) there are consequences to bad actions and b.) responsibility, accountability, and graciousness are very important.

    Remember when Bree spanked Lynette’s twins back in, oh, season 1 or 2? I wonder why she just didn’t do that again.

  29. 29
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    And Marcia Cross looked a little too skinny in this episode, if you ask me. I know you didn’t, but I felt I should comment anyway. She’s gorgeous, and I really hate talking about the actors instead of the characters (another reason why I’m not a big fan of recapping reality shows), but she just looked thinner than usual in a couple scenes this week.

  30. 30
    ellemck1
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 7:16 pm

    Shoe booties? Um, weird. The thing that drives me nuts about taking my shoes off in other houses is it tends to slightly mess up the outfit, and I may or may not be paranoid people are going to try on or steal my shoes. I have this thing about not liking feet, so hat messes me up. Although I’m glad they never show people’s feet in bed. I’m weird, what can I say?

    I do remember Bree spanking the twins, and Lynette was pissed about it, if I remember right.

    I wish Carlos would nice-up a bit. Complete Jerk Carlos isn’t fun. Goatee, No Goatee; Shirt On, Shirt Off. Although I tend to be more forgiving Shirt Off… ;)

  31. 31
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    Right?! Carlos could be an asshole all week, every week, and I wouldn’t care as long as he had his shirt off.

    All this talk of shoes reminds me of one of my all-time favorite Sex and the City episodes — “A Woman’s Right to Shoes.” Love love love that episode. “I’m getting married!! — TO MYSELF.”

  32. 32
    PlathAddict PlathAddict
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    “I don’t patronize bunny rabbits.” Anyone?
    As far as the episode, why does Carlos keep saying that Andrew killed his mom? I don’t understand it. Do the writers have some new historical re-write happening that we just don’t know about? It’s irritating and it makes me think that I have invested in a show that even the writers don’t care about.
    But, when it comes to the Tom and Lynette thing. I love that they have grown so far apart that Lynette is just so sure that she knows Tom, only to find out that she has no idea what types of ideas are going on in his head.
    If they don’t bring back Kayla, my wish is that Tom and Lynette split up and Lynette, still thinking that she knows Tom so well, decides to move in with Renee, only to have Renee kick her out. It would be nice to see how many neighbors boot Lynette around before she finally sees that she is not that great of a person.
    Of course, that scenario still only makes sense if there is something for Tom to do besides work. Luckily, there are still the younger Scavo children – Penny could escape from the basement, and Parker (is it Parker?) should be old enough to drive by now.
    How awesome would it be if Juanita were able to convince Parker to steal a car so that she, Celia, and whatever Scavo children left in the house, ran away? They could all end up at Lynette’s – now rich – mom’s house. Lynette’s mom is still alive and rich right? Wait, how do we know that the twins aren’t living off of now rich grandma? Why do the writers keep ignoring all of these dangling story lines?
    Also, does Felicia get all of the houses that Paul owned now that he’s dead? The Lane seems to have some really outrageous inheritance rules in comparison to rest of the country. So, I wouldn’t be surprised if she opened a halfway house for the neglected children of Wisteria Lane.

  33. 33
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    Oh, PlathAddict! Ding ding ding jackpot! So many awesome points! I love it. Oh, god, this is going to be long . . .

    I don’t think Paul’s dead. Not yet. They would have made a much bigger deal of Paul dying in the promos. I predict he’ll be dead by the end of the season, though. I don’t see any other way to end it.

    Here’s my opinion on continuity and/or retcon and/or just forgetting (or ignoring) past plot points: Of the writers for this season, only 3 have written past episodes from seasons 3 and beyond (excluding Cherry, who only does the first ep of each season). Which means that some of the writers started in the “reboot” of the series in Season 5 (let’s face it — that’s what the producers were trying to do with the series), and most of them started on the show last year. This is all according to my research (Wikipedia). They’ve added one completely new writer to the show this season, who’s never written an episode before, and next week’s episode was written by another DH virgin. We’ll see how that works out.

    I don’t think Cherry’s involved with the show any more. I think he’s checked out. Which is a shame. So, basically, I’m guessing that there’s no one around in the writers room, or any show runner for that matter, who is familiar enough with the show to say, “Hey, no, that doesn’t make sense because (this thing) happened,” or “No, we’ve already done a plot that’s very similar to that, so let’s do something else.” Which is absolutely infuriating to those of us who have stuck around for 7 years. Bottom line: I honestly don’t think anyone cares enough.

    One of the things I hate the most is that once the 5 year leap happened, they seem to be of the mind that all bets are off, that the audience will go with anything because Things Have Changed. Bullshit. It may have been 5 years between seasons 4 and 5 on the show, but you know what? It was about 4 months to us.

    It irritated me when I read about how critics “loved” season 5 and that it “invigorated” the show. Hell, that other recap site (it will not be named because it is made of nothing but evil) had an orgasm every week about how good it was. I’ll admit that, when I watched it a second time, it was not as god-awful as I remembered, but I think anyone who can’t see a sharp decline in quality in that season is delusional. Oh, god, I need to stop! Bottom line: I think you’re right. No one cares about the show, and DEFINITELY no one cares about the fans (except Eva Longoria, who tweets adorable photos from the set).

    I’m really hoping for a Tom and Lynette split. More than bringing Kayla back. They’re good when a third party is involved, and even if they’re arguing over something other than work and their relationship, I’m okay with that. Usually. But these past few episodes have been too much. I want them apart, dammit.

    And Parker was getting his driver’s license last year (at least he was doing practice driving) so he should be able to drive now. And yes! All the Wisteria Lane kids should run away and lived with Lynette’s mom! Which reminds me — bring back Lynette’s sisters! They were great! Where are they now that their mom is rich? I loved them.

    I love this show, but 65% of that love is for what it used to be.

  34. 34
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    I am so sorry at the length of that.

    (That’s what she said.)

  35. 35
    PlathAddict PlathAddict
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 10:39 pm

    Bwah! Awesome! Ok, I really hope that Paul isn’t dead. Because, I don’t want some crazy “Susan has to go to jail for murdering Paul for the house” story line. Susan finally stopped being annoying, so that type of story line would just piss me off at this point. I could deal with it if he died at the very end of the season ONLY if they let him have his own Voice Over like they did for Rex after he died – but, Paul deserves a cooler voice over than Rex got. Oooh A Paul/Mary Alice duet voice over would be AWESOME! Especially since Mary Alice never refers to Paul as her husband. She always calls him Paul Young.
    Anyway, I had no idea that there were so many change ups with the writers. It doesn’t excuse the fact that they are ignoring the previous story lines that we have all been following, but it at least explains things in such a way that I am not crazy or imagining things.
    Cherry is killing me with his bullshit though. You would think that he would love this show -it has to be making him plenty of bank right? But, he is treating it worse than Gabby treats Juanita at this point, only without the quirky cuteness.
    The simple fact is that there are way too many kids unaccounted for on this show. Bob and Lee’s little girl hasn’t been seen in a bit, and I’m wondering if she is busy trying to help Penny dig her way out of the basement. Parker has probably moved in with the twins and rich grandma, MJ has most likely resigned himself to changing the Mrs. McC’s diapers, and who knows where the unfortunate looking baby Scavo spends her time while Tom and Lynette have their most recent pissing match.
    So, all of the kids running away to have a Lord of the Flies moment in one of the houses that Paul owns isn’t too unlikely.
    Especially, if Zach comes back all cleaned up and ready to take responsibility for the children.
    Oh My God. Would it not be awesome if they brought back Zach and Kayla at the same time? Two adult kids of the Lane who hate their parents would be so awesome. They could run the house of neglected children of Wisteria Lane.
    I think my head just exploded.

  36. 36
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    I. Honestly. Totally. Forgot. About. Bob and Lee’s daughter! Honestly! When I read your post, I thought, “Ohmigod, they DO have a daughter!” Geez! I honestly think they’re trying to save money by not showing any kids. But at least MENTION them! Dang.

    I’m hoping that Paul does a voice over too! But I’m not sure it will happen. I’m thinking that Paul will die in the last episode and that will also coincide with the annual Brenda Strong Actually Gets To Act episode.

    Oh, PlathAddict and everybody else, I need to get to bed, but you can bet that I’ll pop by in the morning with more! Cuz that’s how we do on the Desperate Housewives recaps, people. That’s how we do.

  37. 37
    Nikki Hughes
    Posted May 6, 2011 at 7:47 am

    If that’s what SHE said, that’s just gross. :D

  38. 38
    ellemck1
    Posted May 6, 2011 at 9:39 am

    A Mary-Alice and Paul voice-over duet would be awesome! I hope they do that… maybe that and a Brenda Strong gets to act bit too…

  39. 39
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 6, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    I’m 100% sure that Mary Alice will be back on the screen. She gets at least 1 episode a year. I was really, really hoping that she’d be in this season a lot, since Paul was back, and I like it when she’s onscreen, but no. Plus the writers don’t even have her acknowledging Paul as her damn husband in the voice-overs. It’s always “Paul’s this” and “Paul’s son.” That really annoys me.

    My prediction used to be that Paul would die in the penultimate episode, and then do the voice-over in the finale. But given the plots of the upcoming episodes, I don’t think that’s going to happen, sadly. I don’t think they’ll ever do a Paul Young voice-over — the writers aren’t that clever, sadly.

    But I do think both Paul and Felicia will end up dead. Just my opinion.

    Oh! And I would love to see Martha Huber in a flashback again! She was great.

  40. 40
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 6, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    I don’t really know how I feel about this, but I guess the rumor is that Susan Lucci *is* going to be on Desperate Housewives.

    http://www.popeater.com/2011/05/06/tony-nominee-elizabeth-rodriguez-on-former-co-star-susan-lucci/

    I don’t know. I don’t think she’d be horrible, but it smacks of stunt-casting. But I’ve heard rumors before that didn’t pan out (Ana — Gabby’s niece — having a “big” storyline in season 7; the plane that crashed last season was supposed to be an Oceanic plane, like in Lost). Until I see a formal announcement, I’m just going with this as a rumor. I don’t think La Lucci is a bad actress, but . . . I don’t know.

  41. 41
    Nikki Hughes
    Posted May 6, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    I read that same rumor and I don’t like it. Susan’s great and all, but she is always Erica Kane….in everything….including real life interviews. Blah!!

  42. 42
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 6, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    Maybe she won’t be a regular and will just be a guest star. I’d be okay with that, perhaps.

  43. 43
    PlathAddict PlathAddict
    Posted May 7, 2011 at 11:50 am

    So not feeling Susan Lucci. I do love her as Erica Kane, but I don’t want to see her on this show. They already have too many good actors being underused – Can anyone say Vanessa Williams? Shoving Susan Lucci into the cast would really just tick me off.
    I do hope we get a Mary Alice episode. Maybe something to disprove Zach and Paul’s theory that no one could ever love Paul. Because, I FLOVE him and think that his character has been done a huge disservice. It would be really nice to see some acknowledgement of how much he did to protect both Mary Alice and Zach, because of Mary Alice’s actions.
    But, I doubt the writers are even aware of how the show started in the first place. Kind of how Paul keeps getting blamed for a riot that Lynette actually started and Bree and Andrew are blamed for killing a woman that died of hospital neglect. I wish that the writers would sit down and watch all of the episodes of the show before they start writing scripts that make no sense in the timeline of events that have actually taken place on the show.
    Some story line consistently would be much better than any stunt casting they could come up with at this point.

  44. 44
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 7, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    I totally agree. Again! I have a feeling that the ABC powers that be thought, “So, we have Susan Lucci under contract and can’t break it, so . . . let’s just stick her in Desperate Housewives. They won’t care.”

    Again, nothing against Susan Lucci, but like PlathAddict said — so not feeling it.

    They’ve really done Paul a disservice this season. In season 1, he really was not the bad guy everyone made him out to be. Sure, he was flawed, but he did what he had to do to protect his family (except murdering Martha Huber. I’m not gonna forgive him for murder). They’re sort of toying with that idea now, which is good, but it might be too late and not enough. And I really hope that he gets redeemed somehow by Mary Alice. I would LOVE to see a what-might-have-been flash-forward to Mary Alice still alive and she, Paul, and Zach still living as a family on the lane (or, you know, Zach in college or whatever. You know what I mean). But I ain’t holding my breath for that.

    And yeah — I don’t think any of these current writers have even seen any episodes prior to season 5. It certainly seems that way, anyway. You nailed it Plath — I’d rather see them get their shit together than stunt cast.

  45. 45
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted May 7, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    I forgot to post this earlier! HuffPo is hosting an interview w/Nicollette Sheridan. They’d like people to post questions they’d like her to answer in the comments section. I asked about a couple DH-related issues, and so have other people, but it wouldn’t hurt if you wanted to post some yourself.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/05/nicollette-sheridan-questions_n_858346.html

    I’ll keep you posted on the actual interview.

  46. 46
    georgiababe
    Posted May 8, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    Man, Hypnotoad, you should be an advisor for the writers. Seriously. Also, isn’t it your JOB when writing a show that you WATCH the previous seasons so that you know what is HAPPENING? I mean, when an actor gets canned/leaves and they decide to replace them with another actor in the same role, the new actor doesn’t (or shouldn’t) just take the role whatever way they see fit. They should examine what the previous actor did and try to at least keep the character the same.

    I honestly wonder what the actors think of these episodes. They can’t bash them out loud, really, but I mean, these are quality actors. Marcia Cross and Harriet Sansom Harris both went to Juilliard and Felicity Huffman (besides being nominated for an Oscar) went to NYU, both EXCELLENT schools. Not to mention that they have a lot of other very talented people on this show, Teri Hatcher and Mark Moses, to name a couple. If you are an actor, you obviously want to do the best job possible with what you’re given, but if the writing is that shitty, it’s so hard to develop character. I mean, these people obviously developed their characters in Season 1 and kept exploring and developing through to Season 4. Now the writers are throwing in these ridiculous changes all the time, like that RIDICULOUS Susan cooking for Paul thing. I would understand if she was just bringing him food, but her ENTIRE character in Seasons 1-4 was based on her clumsiness and lack of domestic skills and they just throw it away. So annoying.

    We should all write scathing letters to the producers.

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