Desperate Housewives Recap: Shut Up, Chuck!

Get it?  “Up chuck.”  Okay.  Moving on, then.  Mary Alice is all, Carlos and Susan have always hated each other.  Susan thought Carlos “paid too much attention to other peoples’ opinions,” whatever that means.  And Carlos just thought Susan was a clumsy jerk, like that time she made him spill his wine and didn’t even notice.

“Me.  So.  ANGRRRRY!  CARLOS GO SMASH!  CARLOS GO GAY SMASH!”

Easy, Hulk.  Easy.  Throughout the years, they haven’t had much to say to each other . . . until now.  Late at night, both Carlos and Susan wake up from sleep and decide go for a walk, meeting each other (not on purpose, just one of those Desperate-Housewives-Suck-It-Up-And-Go-With-It-Coincidences) for a talk about how they feel about what happened with Alejandro.  Carlos sees Alejandro wherever he goes, while Susan feels like she has a big “GUILTY” flashing sign on her body, like a clumsy, annoying Hester Prynne.  She also feels so guilty that she assaults cops (last episode) and now has to do 15 hours of community service, which she can’t tell Mike about.  Really?  Because I think that, considering you’ve had to do community service before (possibly more than once, but definitely once), and given your history of doing completely ridiculous things for no apparent reason *cough* ATTENTION *cough*, I think Mike would probably shrug it off.  Susan says that she was hoping she’d run into Carlos when she was out walking.  Carlos says he was hoping the same.

On the way home, Susan tells Carlos to read “To Kill a Mockingbird” because it applies to their situation.  Which . . . whatever.  I don’t think Carlos would like it, given the lack of gay beatings, but who knows?  He may enjoy it.  Carlos walks Susan home and who should happen to be looking out at the window, watching all this shady sharing going down?

“Susan, you ignorant slut.”

Hells yeah!  Betty Applewhite in the house!  Except not, dammit.  Turns out that Mike saw Carlos and Susan together, though.  Oh, dip.  Credits.  I never noticed it before, but the shortened credits sound like music to a lame Hallmark Christmas movie starring Daphne Zuniga.  She probably plays a lawyer whose husband cheated on her on Christmas Eve and she’ll never learn to love again until she falls in love with some guy who is an elf at Macy’s and turns out to be a billionaire with a heart of gold at the end of the movie.  Or maybe he’s homeless.  Whatever.

Mary Alice tells us that even though Wisteria Lane looks flawless, the people are notorious for hiding imperfections.  Again, pretty sure we’ve covered this cliche quite thoroughly, Mary Alice, but we’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.  Gabby drops by Bree’s house to give her some diet milkshake from “Skinny Berry” to help her cope with dumping Chuck.  That didn’t happen, though, so Gabby’s not real happy with Bree right now.  Chuck comes down and tells Gabby that “Skinny Berry” isn’t healthy at all.  And then, having apparently served his purpose, he leaves for the day.  Gabby’s pissed at Bree until Bree tells her that Chuck may have been the one who wrote the letter.  Gabby wonders why, exactly, Chuck would be blackmailing her and since Bree doesn’t have the answer for that, Gabby suggests that she snoop around and find some reasons.

It’s time for this week’s episode of The Renee Show!

“I can so turn the world on with my smile, you butthole!”

Love is all around, Renee.  No need to waste it.  You can have the town, why don’t you take it?  Cue Renee throwing her Berkin bag into the air annnnnnnnd cut.  Renee’s getting a massage at her tacky-ass house from some guy who may or may not be that guy from those famous mid-90s Diet Coke ads.  Lee comes in screaming his gay head off about his quiche burning or a bad reaction to the Nair, something gay, something gay like that.  After trying to hit on the masseur (who is not the Diet Coke guy but possibly a botched clone of David Hasselhoff), he tells Renee that Jenny (his daughter.  You probably forgot that Bob and Lee had a daughter, but there you go.) is totes getting her boobies which is fuh-reaking him ow-outtttt!  Bob was supposed to handle the boobs while Lee was supposed to handle the monthlies.  Really, Lee?  You chose the monthlies over bras?  Lee says he’s scared of the whole boobage area (but menstruation is fine, eh Lee?), and Bob is in Tokyo, so he really needs Renee to take Jenny shopping for training bras and junk.  Renee reluctantly agrees.  DH peeps — less Lee, WAAAAAY more Bob.  With his shirt off.

Over at Lynette’s, Renee is begging Lynette to go with her, since she helped Penny out with bras, “and one of your older boys, if I’m guessing right.”  Hahahaha!  Lynette has plans, though:

Ice cream and chardonnay.  A.K.A. The Lifetime Movie Marathon Special (Cat Optional).

Lynette says that it’s for her sister, Lydia.  Yay!  Lydia!  I really wish Lynette’s older sister was coming as well, but I’ll take what I can get.  Also, Lynette and her sisters all have names that start with “L,” so I blame Lynette’s mom for starting that cycle of abuse.  The doorbell rings, and Renee leaves out the back door, leaving Lynette alone to deal with her insane, co-dependent, weepy, bipolar sister.  Except, Lydia is no longer any of those things.  She’s put-together, happy, rational, and perky.  Because she’s engaged.  To Rashi.  Who drives a VW bus.  Lydia’s so sorry to hear about Tom, but never fear — she’s brought some healing, soothing comfort.

The ice cream is made from tofu.  Sadly, so is the wine.

Mike’s cleaning a paint brush when Susan comes home with the groceries, all chatty about something lame, when Mike’s all, Yeah, I just got off the horn with the county and they said something about your community service?  When I first watched this episode I thought Mike said he got off the phone with “accounting” and I was very, very confused.  Susan explains but Mike’s more upset that the guy on the phone called him “Mr. Solis.”  Ohhhhh shit.  Susan says that she called Carlos to pick her up because she was so embarrassed and Mike’s like, Well then should I be worried about your little moonlight strolls with Carlos?  Susan says that they needed to talk because Carlos is going through something “personal” and she’s helping him.  Mike doesn’t care that she’s friends with a guy, but he doesn’t really like all the sneaking around.

Lynette’s trying to keep her tofu wine down while Rashi and Lydia talk about how they met.  In yoga.  Three weeks ago.  And how Rashi proposed.  With a ring with a big rock on it.  Literally.  A rock.  That he found on the beach years ago.  He just knew he would find a purpose for it some day.  Okay, even I would roll my eyes at that shit, but I would do it much later when they had gone home and I was on the phone with my friend Amy to tell her ALLLLLL about that crap, but Lynette isn’t even being 1% supportive.  I’m not surprised, and yet I’m disappointed.  Lynette’s also not getting drunk since the wine Lydia brought is non-alcoholic — because she doesn’t drink now that she’s with Rashi.  After Rashi leaves, Lydia tells Lynette that Rashi is amazing and that he’s leading a meditation seminar out in some yurt in the sticks.  Lydia, why would you even say things like that to Lynette?  You’re just giving her ammo, you idiot.  Lynette, true to form, says that she’ll basically kill Lydia if she drags her to a yurt.

Susan’s doing her community service — painting over graffiti.  Carlos shows up, of course, with “To Kill a Mockingbird” in tow.  He wants to take Susan to lunch, but she tells him that Mike found out about their not-so dangerous liaisons (why didn’t I use that for the recap title?!) so they may want to put the kibosh on the sneaking around.  So instead of lunch, Carlos offers to help with the community service, since he’s an expert on that kind of thing.  The supervisor tells Carlos that he can’t help beautify his community unless he’s committed a crime.  Even though I’m sure there’s still a warrant out for Carlos’s arrest for gay-bashing/slave labor/embezzlement/fraud/conspiracy, Carlos instead opts for grabbing the supe’s clipboard, taking off a piece of paper, and littering.  So now Carlos and Susan can talk about their feelings while painting over giant penises.

Back on The Renee Show, she and Jenny are back from their shopping trip, all abuzz about some boy that Jenny likes.  Lee is pissed to the off because they’re 2 hours late; it doesn’t help that Renee also bought Jenny some makeup and uses cool abbreviations like “totes” and “deets” and is totes trying to usurp Lee’s role as the most womanly person in Li’l Jenny’s life!  AAAAAAA!  Lee gets all high-pitched and totally Jack McFarlands all over Renee’s ass.

“Don’t make me un-hag you, nelly.”

Bree is making dinner for Chuck, who came home just in time for tilapia and bernaise sauce and something else.  She tells Chuck that the bernaise needs constant whisking, so why doesn’t he take care of that for 10 minutes while she goes upstairs to “change for dinner.”  Which of course means “going through your private things.”  While Chuck is spending his time whisking what is basically butter and egg yolks, Bree frantically searches for some kind of evidence of Chuck’s assholery.  She finds nothing in the nightstand, which, given that it’s HER nightstand, isn’t really a surprise to me, so she searches his jacket and comes up with a big ole handful of nothing again.  She spies Chuck’s briefcase and decides to go for it.

“I wonder what he has in his — HOLY GOD THAT’S A LOT OF BI-SEXUAL MIDGET PORNO.”

Um, it’s bi-sexual little people porno, Bree.  Be sensitive, you stupid ginger.  Bree doesn’t really find much in Chuck’s briefcase, except a creepy photo of her hand.

Oh my god, ewwwwwwwww!  Chuck likes Mentos!  Gross.

There’s also a manila envelope that has Bree’s name on it, with some bulky thing inside.  What could it be?!  I’m guessing that Chuck has finally crossed the threshold and his DVD of all-male midget little people porn has finally arrived.

Bree tells Gabby about the creepy hand photo and they both wonder what’s up with that.  Gabby thinks that Chuck might have found a fingerprint at the crime scene and taken a photo to see if it matched up, which is hilariously ludicrous.  And ludicrously hilarious.  Bree wants to know what’s in the envelope — Gabby thinks that it’s more evidence.  So she suggests that Bree take Chuck for a walk after dinner and she’ll sneak in and snoop around.

Jenny is over at Renee’s house, whining about how fractions are so dumb and lame.  Renee, being the feminist that she is, tells Jenny that fractions will totes come in handy.  Like when Jenny gets divorced and gets 1/2 of her ex’s fortune even though her pre-nup said she’d get 3/4.  Girl power!  Jenny says that Renee would make a really cool mom.  Renee’s necklace is blinding me and I think she uses it to steal people’s souls.  Lee shows up to play Ms. Buzzkill and tells Jenny to come home.  He and Jenny argue.  Jenny’s all, “What if I say I’m not ready to come home?”  And then Lee grounds her for a week.  Wow, Lee.  First of all, who doesn’t want some kids-free time with a bottle of merlot and internet porn?  Second of all, Jenny’s freaking doing her homework, so what’s with the groundings?  Ass.  Jenny’s understandably upset since Lee’s flown off the gay handle, so she leaves.  Renee’s all, Dude, don’t you think that was like way harsh?  Lee tells her to back off because she’s not Jenny’s mother.  Oh, hell no!

Lydia, Rashi, and Lynette are done with their walnut and hemp seed dinner.  That sounds like sarcasm, but Lydia actually says that she made some dish with those ingredients.  And I bet it was delicious.  Rashi goes for a walk after dinner, leaving Lynette to poison Lydia’s soul with her snark and projected insults.  Lynette starts eating the poisonous non-organic ice cream she bought earlier, but she’s eating it with a fork which I find entirely odd.  Lynette’s all, You used to eat this crap!  Lydia’s all, I’ve changed.  Lynette’s all, You just want to rub your happiness in my face!  Lydia’s like, You’re not dragging me down to your level.  Lynette’s like, This crunchy douche is going to dump you and then you’ll be a drunk ice cream eater!  Lydia says that she hates Lynette.  Join the club, Lydia.  Lydia finally snaps and is all, You always had to be the best, but “now you’re the screw up, bitch, and I LOVE IT!”  Hahaha!  Preach, Lydia.  Rashi unfortunately hears this, since he came back in for his iPod.  Lydia runs off, leaving Lynette looking forlorn, wondering who she’ll be able to yell at and shame now.

Lynette had always held a deep resentment for the kitchen table.  And tonight, she finally let that f**ker have it.

Oh no!  Lydia’s drinking alcoholic wine and eating the poisonous ice cream!  Oh, Lynette.  You know I love you.  I do.  But right now I can’t look you in the face.  I am disappointed, Lynette.  You disappoint me.  Lynette is, of course, carrying her Never Ending Laundry Basket of Despair.  Lynette calls Lydia’s treat of wine and ice cream a “chardonnay float.”  Hee.  Okay, I like you about 4% more now, Lynette.  Lydia says that Rashi left her to go to the yurt alone because he needs to meditate on whether or not she’s the woman he’s meant to be with.  Ouch, harsh.  Lynette says that if he left, maybe he’s not the guy for Lydia.  Oh, Lynette, honey, do you really want to go down that road since Tom is living somewhere else?  Lydia says that he told her that her energy is no longer welcome in the yurt.  Hee.  “Yurt” is just a funny word no matter how you slice it.

Renee’s arrived at her house when Stalky McQueeny (Lee) shows up to ask her where the heck his daughter is, since she’s not at home.  Renee says that she’s been out all afternoon and hasn’t seen her, but Lee doesn’t believe Renee so he barges into her house to search for Jenny.  And then they argue because Renee is spending too much time with Jenny (seriously, I bet she’s spent a total of 4 hours with her.  Five, tops) and is bonding with her and Renee is all, You asked me to help her because of your boobphobia!  Then Jenny shows up and yells that it’s not Renee’s fault.

In the midst of all this arguing about too much bonding, everyone neglected to tell Jenny that 11 year-olds might not want to dress like a skank.

Too short, Jenn.  Too short.  Jenny snuck in the back window because she likes being with Renee and doing nails and crap like that.  She says that sometimes it’s nice to have like, a mom.  Lee freaks out and is all, We can do mani/pedis and I have shoes that Cher owned or something!  Renee tells Jenny to cool it in the kitchen and then Lee confesses to Renee that he’s been dreading this ever since Jenny came into his life.  Like 3 months ago.  He wonders if he and Bob won’t be enough.  Oh, Lee.  Believe me — you, by yourself, are completely ENOUGH.  Renee tells Lee to shut up because he and Bob took a foster care kid and gave her 2 parents who love her.  She adds that the mom thing is just a phase and he and Bob are doing a great job.  Hugs!  Well, that’s it for this episode of The Renee Show.  Hope you enjoyed it!  Tune in next week when Renee becomes a professional dog-walker and hilarity ensues while everyone else on Wisteria Lane is involved in the season’s arc on their own show!

This week’s episode of “The Renee Show” has been brought to you by:  The Uncomfortable & Ugly Couch Co. — When you need a couch that feels as uncomfortable and ugly as it looks, there’s no one better than The Uncomfortable & Ugly Couch Co.

If I had the time and knew how the hell to do it, I would totally edit a “The Renee Show” opening credits sequence and post it.  But that’s not going to happen, folks.  Yurt time!  Rashi and his students are doing that whole cliched meditation thing (leaves, trees, stars, sun, light, universe, etc.) that gives TV writers total writer boner.  Lynette sneaks in and tells Rashi that she needs to to talk to him and if he refuses, she will start singing Ethel Merman at the top of her lungs.  Rashi hesitates, so she immediately follows through on her threat, causing Rashi to follow Lynette out of the yurt for a chit-chat.  This yurt is literally in a public park.  There are literally kids playing frisbee or something about 30 feet away, which begs the question:  Can you seriously find bliss when you’re able to hear some little girl yelling “You’re a boogerfaced assbutt!” at the top of her lungs?  If so, then I commend you on your yurt-ness, my friend.  Lynette tells Rashi that the Lydia he saw was the one that she becomes when surrounded by Lynette’s negative ass, not the Lydia that she’s become because of Rashi’s . . . Rashi-ness.  Rashi is all, I can’t be around that kind of negativity because that’s how his family acted back when I was Herbert Brickmeyer from Long Island.  Lynette tells him that Lydia is only like that when Lynette is being a big ole bitch to her (basically) and even so, people in relationships should learn to work those things out.  Lynette tells him to give Lydia a little time to find her bliss.  He agrees.  Rashi is pretty hot, you guys.  I bet he’s awesome in the sack.  Or completely horrible and useless.  One or the other — nothing in between.

Back at the Scavo house, Lydia is alone, trying to meditate, when Lynette arrives.  Lydia tells her that Rashi called and is willing to give things with Lydia a chance.  Lynette’s happy for her and says that she was so mad at Lydia because she was jealous.  She says that she doesn’t get “in” relationships, she gets “on” them.  She grabs on and kicks them and punches them and beats them until she makes them go where she wants, and “God help the other person if they have a different idea.”  Um, breakthrough much, Lynette?!  All right.  I’m back on Team Lynette.  If she can admit that she has this problem (and holy shit does she ever f**king have this problem), then maybe she’ll learn to change.  Lydia tells her that she can totally change, but Lynette doesn’t know if she can.  Her sister tells her that because she recognizes her problem and is self-aware, she can now begin to change.

Well, kids, it looks like everything has been wrapped up with a pretty little bow.  That’s it for this week’s episode!

Wait.  Oh.  I guess it’s not.  Anyone else forget about Susan and Carlos?  Because I sure the heck did.  They’re still painting and talking about “To Kill a Mockingbird” and being annoying and lame.  Turns out Carlos watched the movie and didn’t read the book.  But none of that matters because Mike drives by and sees them both.  While a rational adult would just keep painting because there’s nothing to hide, Susan and Carlos run and hide in a van because they’re on Desperate Housewives.  Inside The Mystical Van of Sexual Tension, Carlos says that his heart is pounding and Susan says she can feel his heart pounding too.

“It’s pounding through my crotch.”  “Carlos, I . . . is that –?”  “Yup.  A third testicle, baby.  And it is amazing.”

Meh.  Carlos could have a dozen of ‘em and he’d still be 100% doable.  Susan asks what’s going on, Carlos says it’s nothing and that they’re two friends helping each other through a tough time, Susan asks why they’re hiding from her husband in a van, so they decide to get out.  MIke’s waiting, though, and immediately punches Carlos in the face and is all, When you’re done with your “boyfriend,” I’ll be at home, naked and waiting for the threeway, although it’ll be a two-way because you’ll just be downstairs making us a sandwich, because we’ll be hungry after all the hot man-on-man lovin’.

Chuck comes back to Bree’s house and says he had a stressful day.  Bree suggests a walk, but Chuck says he wants to take Bree somewhere special.  He shows her his package (come on, you knew it was . . . coming . . .), puts it in his jacket, and tells her that he has a surprise for her.  Bree wants to go change before they leave.  When she gets upstairs, she calls Gabby and tells her about the change of plans.  Gabby says that Chuck is about to give her “the shakedown” and tells her that she’ll follow Bree and Chuck.  Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn!

At a restaurant, Chuck and Bree sit down while Gabby stands a few feet away, ready to spring into action.  Chuck takes off his jacket, and while Bree distracts Chuck with talk of appetizers and starts a mini-make-out sesh, Gabby attempts to steal Chuck’s package.  Gabby finally grabs the package and meets Bree in the restroom.  They open the package to reveal . . . A gun!  Not really.  They open the package to reveal . . . Gabby’s doll!  Not really.  Inside is . . . Betty Applewhite!  Please.  There’s an engagement ring inside.  Can’t say I’m too incredibly surprised.  Chuck took a photo of Bree’s hand to get a fitting, which is sweet but kind of creepy, and while Bree likes Chuck a lot, she doesn’t see herself spending the rest of her life with him.

Back at home, Mike is drinking some whiskey, trying to suppress those dirty thoughts of a naked Carlos.  It’s not dirty, Mike!  Don’t repress yourself!  Give in to those natural feelings!  Susan shows up with Carlos to spill the beans on what’s been going down.  Carlos says he killed Alejandro and Susan tells him that she and her friends helped cover up the murder.

“God, Susan, it is just one thing after another with you!  Now, Carlos and I will be upstairs and we will call for you when we’re ready for our after-sex sandwich!”

Bree returns from the restroom, slyly puts the ring back in Chuck’s jacket, and tells him that she has something important to tell him.  She tells him that she’s enjoyed their time together and then Chuck gets the hint that she’s breaking up with him and says he was about to propose to her.  And then Chuck fuh-reaks.  The f**k.  Out.  He tells Bree that she’s two people — one who’s nice and cooks well and subscribes to Glenn Beck’s website, and then the other who sneaks around and junk.  He accuses her of seeing another guy, pounds on the table, and yells about another guy probably sending her “that letter” she was reading.  Careful, Chuck — angry yelling makes that British accent slip out every once in a while!  Chuck concludes his little meltdown by threatening Bree, saying, ” . . . if you ever find yourself in trouble, and I’m sure that one day you will, don’t come calling me.  You have made a very big mistake.”  Yeowza.  Chuck does not handle rejection well.

“I’ll always remember him as a man who made inferior bernaise sauce.”

Mary Alice voiceover!  She talks about concealing stuff.  Like a breakup and being a gay dad and jealousy.

“I love it.”  “I made it out of pine cones, owl pellets, and kidney stones.”  “That’s . . . that’s great.”

Susan is crying, telling Mike all about what happened (Carlos is still there, for some reason), but Mike gets all huffy and walks away . . .

Memory Time!  Thanks for sending in your fave memories, and good luck in the drawing!

atlgirl -“Edie washing her car in a bikini in the middle of the street.  (both times!)

Susan accidentally burning Edie’s house down.

After Martha Huber unsuccessfully tried blackmail Susan when she figured out that she burned Edie’s house down, Susan calmly told her off with these great lines, “I will keep my lawn looking nice. And I will make sure that my music isn’t played too loud, and if I get some of your mail, heck, I’ll run it right over. Cause that’s what good neighbors do. But from now on, when I run into you in the street and I say good morning, Mrs. Huber, or how are you, Mrs. Huber, just know, that inside, I am quietly, but decidedly, hating your guts.”

When Maisy Gibbons was arrested for solicitation out her house, and Bree found it that Rex was one of her clients, she went to prison to visit her and brought her a basket of muffins to convince her not to turn over her “little black book” to the police, Maisy refused, and Bree snatched back her muffins.  I don’t know why, but that always has cracked me up.  Classic Bree!

Danielle Van de Camp dressing up like Bree for Halloween.  She did a hilarious spot on impression of her.”

I love all those!  I’d forgotten how awesome Susan’s response was to Mrs. Huber.  And Bree.  I still like her and I’m glad she’s relaxed some, but I wish she’d have retained some of her early prim-ness.

georgiababe with another one – “I had forgotten about this scene, which is one that I absolutely adore. It’s from Season 4, the Halloween episode (“Now I Know, Don’t Be Scared”) and it’s at the very end, when Lynette’s doctor comes to her house to tell her that she’s cancer-free. Everybody else goes inside to have a drink, but Lynette goes outside. She sees the possum lying dead on the ground (remember, it was a not-so-subtle metaphor for cancer) and bursts into tears. Felicity Huffman astounds me, she is too good for the terrible plots she’s been getting since Season 5.

Anyway, back to the scene. I think I love this scene mostly because of the music, it’s a departure from normal DH music, but it’s beautiful. And I actually watched the commentary of this scene (with Mark Cherry and the episode’s director, I believe) and they revealed that the man who composed it lost his wife or girlfriend to cancer only a little bit before this episode was shot, which I think makes the music even more special.

Here’s a clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpkPKQ5TjJA&feature=related “

That is indeed a good scene.  For me, it’s a little tainted by the hit-you-over-the-head metaphor of the opossum, which just got to be too much for me, but it’s almost fully saved by Felicity’s performance.  She said she was a bit worried about her career after being on DH for so long, and while I don’t think she’s going to earn millions from films, I think she’ll have a very fulfilling career after the show.  I hope she does a lot of theatre.

aman – “When Gaby was cheating on Carlos with John the gardener, I LOVED the scene where she was in her gown at night mowing the front lawn to cover up the fact that John was slipping it to her instead of mowing the lawn! The image of her in the gorgeous gown pushing the lawn mower and dashing back to the party to avoid being caught was terrific. (I avoided a bush or planting seed joke or something….you are welcome).

Also I loved a scene from the season where Edie gets with Karl. Edie is rollerblading and taunting Susan and Susan hits her with her car (accidentally)! I think Edie’s outfit is what makes it for me…dorky little pig tails and an old school style rollerskate get-up. That bitch was awesome.”

Pilot episode FTW!  That’s a great moment from the first episode.  They’re all great moments, really.  And I totally agree on Edie’s outfit for that scene.  So hilarious.  The fact that she was roller skating and not rollerblading was so funny, so perfect for Edie.

yummy – “My tvgasm name is ‘yummy’ and I don’t think I’ve ever posted a comment on your recaps, but I’ve always been a fan! Anywhom, I’m just rattling these off without putting much thought into them, but there is something to be said about them being the first ones that come to mind, I suppose:

Lynette: Definitely the scene where she finds out that Nora kissed Tom, and goes to Nora’s house and kicks in her door and very calmly says “…Ding dong.” Also, I love what she tells her just before she leaves: “I will do to your spine what I just did to your front door.” Classic!

Gabby: There are so many (she’s my favorite!), and I’m sure there are better ones out there that I’m not thinking of, but I love when she and Carlos are having an affair at a hotel while she’s with Victor, and Carlos says something about her lingerie being pointless because it just ends up on the floor, and she says, “Because I want to feel pretty and feminine.” Then, there’s a knock on the door and she says, “OOH, my chili cheese fries!”
Honorable mention would go to her “first lady of Fairview” scene, where she has tiff with the cop who gave her a parking ticket when she was engaged to Victor. Loved it.

Susan: It would have to be an Edie/Susan moment, there were so many good ones. Probably when Zach was holding Susan at gunpoint and Edie came over and Susan tried to mouth something about Zach being there. Edie: “Stick it up my what?” Susan: “Edie, just get the hell out of here.” Edie: “God, you are such a bitch.” I really miss Edie!

Bree: Hands down the scene where creepy pharmacist guy is interrupting her dinner party, and she goes upstairs, grabs a shotgun, cocks it with one hand (LOL), and shoots at him from her window. Anything with her and Danielle was amazing, also.

I know that was a lot, but I had to do one for all four of them! I’ll probably kick myself later when I think of better ones, but this will do for now!”

First of all, you should comment!  Second of all, those are all fantastic scenes.  Again, Felicity Huffman ALWAYS brings it and that’s one of my personal favorite memories of Lynette as well.  She’s fantastic in season 3.  Chili cheese fries!  Hahahaha!  I’ll admit that’s a good one.  Eva Longoria is a really great comedic actress and I think she’s just gotten better and better as the show has progressed.  Another great Susan/Edie scene.  Those two played off each other so well and I loved their relationship.  It really reminds me of how much of a hole there’s been since Nicollette Sheridan left the show.  They just haven’t been able to fill it.  Great scene with Bree.  Her stuff with George is some of my favorite . . .

Which leads me to one of my own personal favorite moments from that same exact episode — the Season 2 episode “That’s Good, That’s Bad.”  George, who has checked into a room in the same hotel where Bree is hosting a charity event, calls Bree to tell him that he’s up in his room, has swallowed pills to kill himself, and if Bree truly cared about him, she’d come up and save him.  Before she does so, Bree calls the detective who tells her that George is the one who poisoned and killed Rex.  Bree breaks down in the elevator on her way up to George’s room, but finally composes herself enough to face George.  I absolutely love Bree and Marcia Cross in this scene.  I love how she calmly tells George that she knows what he’s done and then coldly tells him that she’s called an ambulance, when in actuality, she’s done no such thing.  The scene gives me chills. It’s so wonderfully filmed and acted and it’s hands down one of the best scenes in the history of the show.

Until next time!  Keep ‘em comin’!