Minicap: Desperate Housewives

Awwwww, it’s the very last season premiere of Desperate Housewives.  Sad.  Sadness.  Single tear.

Remember in May when Carlos killed Gabby’s evil stepfather and the gals put him the trunk in Gabby’s living room?  Because we’re done with all that.  That story was wrapped up in the summer special they aired in July.  What?  You missed it?  Well that’s probably because I just pulled that out of my ass.

No, the ladies of Wisteria Lane are still dealing with the fallout of this little predicament.  Turns out that they think the best idea is to bury Alejandro in the woods.  Yeah, um, given this show’s track record with THAT, I’m thinking that that’s probably not a good idea, ladies.  Remember Martha Huber?  Yeah, ya do.

And of course, our little wimpy Susan is probably going to be the first one to crack, since she’s having some conflicts about keeping this a secret from Mike.  She also hilariously projects these feelings on a dead hamster in a great scene with Juanita.  Will Susan be able to keep the deep, dark secret from Mike?  Probably.  But probably not.

Meanwhile, Tom and Lynette are still thankfully separated.  Or are they?  Not really.  Tom lives in McCluskey’s upstairs now (or something, I’m not sure it’s McC’s house or not) and runs over every morning to make sure the kids don’t think something’s wrong (yeah, they’re part of the Scavo family — I’m pretty sure they ALWAYS think something’s wrong).  But then something happens that causes yet another conflict in their relationship.  Will Tom and Lynette remain separated forever?  Probably.  But probably not.

Bree is still sluttin’ it up with her new beau, Private Dick Chuck, who has an amazing chest and one of those too-American-American-accents that certain British/Australian/South African actors seem to have.  There are some hilarious scenes with Bree and Gabby trying to hide some evidence from Chuck that honestly made me LOL many times over.  But will Bree be able to hide the truth from Chuck before he finds it out on his own?  Probably.  But probably not.

Gabby tries to convince Carlos that he did a good thing by, you know, killing someone, but for some reason Carlos just can’t get over it.  Unlike the multiple gay bashings, apparently.  Like I said, Gabby and Bree have some very memorable moments in this episode, so you have that to look forward to.  Will Carlos ever be able to forgive himself for what he did?  Probably not.  But probably.

Oh, and Renee gets literally 9 or 10 lines and throws herself at the new Australian dude on the lane.  Will Vanessa Williams get a fully realized arc and lots of screen time this year?  Probably.  But probably not.

See you at the recap, my li’l lovely DH gasmii!

And there better be NONE of this stupid doll shit, Cherry.  NONE!