MiniCap: Desperate Housewives

According to ABC, I am now contractually obligated to pretend that one certain beloved character no longer exists.

AAAAAAA!  This was (mostly) such a good episode!  Let’s go in order from most to least boring:

Susan’s still in her art class.  It’s portfolio time, Andre thinks her art sucks, she thinks her art sucks, I think her art sucks, whatever.  BUT.  At the very end of the episode, something happens that makes Susan unleash her dark side.  Oooooooh, interesting, perhaps!

Gabby and Carlos wonder who will take care of their kids if they go to jail.  Who else but Bob and Lee?  Hilarity ensues — actually, it doesn’t.  And I’m sorry, DH writers — you’re walking a fine line between making Celia quirky and just plain mentally handicapped.

Lynette is still super jelly of Jane, especially since Jane is throwing BFF balls at Penny all day long.  Renee’s advice is to get Penny on her side.  It sort of works, then sort of doesn’t, and I’m thinking this is actually the most boring plot, but I’m not going to move it up because I’m so tired.

Bree is tasked with finding out who moved Alejandro’s body and in the process, tells Ben what actually happened (sparing specifics), since it turns out one of Ben’s workers found the body.  Oh, spoiler alert!  Sorry.  She asks Ben not to go to the police, but he refuses to do that.  Or does he?!  And someone from Bree’s recent past comes back into her life to creepily eff it all up again!  And Bree and Ben might have some _______?!  What?  I’m not telling.  I have to save some things, you know.  It’s not like prom night, where I give it all away for a six-er of Zima and a pack of Marlboro Reds.

And at the end, something happens that threatens to tear the friendship of our gals to shreds!  For reals!  I know that, like, every promo threatens this but this time it seems like it’s for real!   AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  Best.  Episode.  Ev — well, in a couple weeks, at least. To check out the latest recap while you wait, click here!