Desperate Housewives: There’s a Twister A Comin’!

I’ve always been one to hold grudges. I still haven’t completely forgiven Jake Glick for being the first person in school to get a My Buddy doll. I’m not going to get into the details but I have yet to forgive Hilary Duff. She knows what she did. And I have still not forgiven Beverly Hills 90210 with baiting me to believe a main character would die and it ended up just being that geeky blonde freshman that nobody ever liked who was in two episodes. When I heard that two major characters would die on this week’s episode of Desperate Housewives, I had my doubts about the validity of their claim. Did they prove me right or wrong? Let’s find out after the jump.

Since there’s now a character named Adam on the show, I’m going to take all this downtime to come up with some kind of “Adam’s Apple” joke.

We open with scenes of absolute destruction on Wisteria lane as Mary Alice Ghostly tells us that the day was supposed to have been beautiful. Obviously death and meteorology go hand in hand. We see trees falling, mailboxes being ripped from the ground, and more hairpieces than I can count tossed like flotsam and jetsam down the lane. A soaking wet, dirty, ragdoll is blowing across the street before we flash back a few hours before the storm when it is seen lying in the gutter, perhaps it’s the new Lindsay Lohan action figure. Lynette’s youngest daughter picks up the doll and walks by her mom who is standing with our core gals. Gaby is telling the ladies that she is back with Carlos and they are packing up their burrough to leave town for a while. She fills in the ladies that since Edie blabbed to Victor about Gaby and Carlos’s affair, they think it would be best if they leave town until all of this blows over. Blows over. Get it? Maybe these writers don’t deserve more money. The ladies all discuss Gaby’s leaving until Miss McCluskey drives by on her hog to tell them that a tornado just touched down in Mount Pleasant and there’s another on the way there. The ladies scatter to start preparing for the storm as Mary Alice forebodes that within four hours one of the ladies would lose a husband and all of them would lose a friend. WOO HOO! Andrew is neither a husband nor a friend! He’s in the clear.

The new Lindsay Lohan doll comes complete with an overbearing mother doll, a small mirror and a tiny little razor blade. Available at your local Duane Read

While Gaby packs she sees a report on the television that Victor is recovering uncomfortably fast, so she and Carlos need to head for the hills toot sweet until Victor forgets about them knocking him overboard and leaving him for dead. Two-three weeks tops. Victor comes in and tells Gaby that he is going to the bank to get his passport and fake mustache from his safety deposit box and notices that Gaby is packing like Diana Ross going on tour in Thailand. He tells her that she needs to pack lightly, but Gaby tells him to back off since packing wigs and feather boas is comfort food after saying goodbye to her friends. This reminds Carlos that he should go say something to Edie before leaving, but Gaby won’t allow it. She says that Edie ruined their lives and they wouldn’t be in this mess if it weren’t for that dirty, ugly, skanky, scheming redwood of a whore. Carlos agrees and reminds Gaby that his shady accountant is coming by to drop off the papers with the super secret password required to obtain his $10 million from his Cayman Islands account (the password is Carlos) at which point Gaby gets wet again while fantasizing about wearing one of her feather boas on a big pile of money.

“Hey good lookin’, how about a freebie? It’s my birthday!”

Meanwhile across the street, Lynette is chatting with Miss McCluskey to make sure she has everything she will need to ride out the storm. Big M assures her that she has an ample supply of D batteries, gin, and live chickens that will eat grapes out of anywhere she puts them. Anywhere. After the initial pleasantries Lynette drops the bomb as to the real reason she is there. She would like to camp out in Miss McCluskey’s basement with her husband and 13 screaming kids until the storm passes. Lynette assures Miss McCluskey that her family, which the Big M has grown to know and love will all be on their best behavior and keep the fires and village of the damned act down to a minimum. Miss McClucskey tells Lynette that she may know all of them but actually only loves four before saying no way in hell. Ida Greenberg is coming over to play cards and swap stories about how many GIs of the greatest generation lost their virginity to each of them. Miss McCluskey tries to send Lynette and the brood down to the shelter but Lynette doesn’t want her kids exposed to the dregs of society down on skid row, such as Andrew. Lynette pleads with Big M until she finally gives in and allows Lynette and her family to crash in the basement to ride out the storm. She’s insured and someone has to finish making her knock-off Gucci wallets.

Doesn’t she atleast have Britney stubble that she could dress up with a cute little bow? I am so sick of this endless parade of scarves.

Next door Katherine is busy taping up the windows in an attempt to call that black informant guy from the X-Files. Julie and Dylan are safely away on a school trip, so Katherine and Adam plan to hunker down in the basement and glare at each other disapprovingly until the storm passes. While at the window, Katherine notices the Tina Fey look-alike/woman who ruined her life standing across the street. Katherine has never backed down from a confrontation, other than with whoever did that to her hair, so she goes outside and walks up to the woman to tell her to leave. The woman tells her that she wants to talk to Adam and compliments Katherine’s hair, further proving she’s stark raving insane. Katherine tells Tina Fey that Adam wants nothing to do with her, but is shocked when Crazy drops the bomb that Adam saw her yesterday.

Back at Susan’s house Bree is dropping off much needed storm-watch paraphernalia such as Vaseline, eyeliner and Mad-Libs. Before Bree leaves, Susan tells her that it may be a good idea to go ahead and tell Orson about Mike’s addiction to the junk. Bree confesses that she already told Orson accidentally by screaming it out when they were making love a couple weeks ago. Bree feared that Mike would go to Orson for pills and Orson would unwittingly prescribe them, which he did and which he did!

“Damn, Andrew sure liked ‘em big and black, didn’t he? Anyway, thanks for the olives!”

Meanwhile, the battle of the she-beasts is just heating up as Katherine continues to chat with Crazy. Crazy continues talking about how she and Adam slept together, and how he yelled out in the middle how he regrets marrying such a cold, hard bitch. Katherine takes offense at being called anything less than room temperature and turns into one of those dilophosaurs from Jurassic Park. Her collar unfurls and she spits viscous black goo in Crazy’s face. Bree is always in the wrong place at the right time and witnesses the expectoration. After Crazy drives off, Bree asks Katherine if she is O.K. and Katherine responds like a cold, hard, bitch before walking off. Bree notices Crazy parked down the street so decides to wheel baby Benjamin over for his first taste of suburban gossip. The kids gotta learn sooner or later. Bree walks to the car and asks the woman if she’s O.K. and Crazy says no so Bree politely invites her inside for tea and interrogation.

“Just call me China Bitch.”

Bree and Crazy bond over their hatred of Katherine and propensity to have people spit in their faces on a regular basis. Bree pours her celestial seasonings tea and begins to question why Katherine has such an angry boner for her. Crazy tells Bree that she and Adam made sweet Chicago-style love (that’s with the sauce on top) when she was one of his patients. Crazy knows that Adam is miserable without her and asks Bree if she thinks Katherine and Adam are happy. Bree unwisely answers that they seem content, which makes Crazy do something crazy and throw her cookie at Bree declaring that she’s wrong. Bree tries to politely end teatime but Crazy keeps going on about how she and Adam were lovers and how often she licked the snake tattoo on Adam’s shoulder when they were banging in his stirrups. Bree tries to delicately lead Crazy out of the house but Crazy runs off and barricades herself in Bree’s bathroom. Bree tries to coax her out by leaving a trail of shiny objects and foil hats down the hallway, but Crazy is crazy like a fox and won’t budge. Bree tries to plead with her since she, Orson and baby Benjamin were going to use the toilet as a storm shelter but Crazy demands that Bree go get Adam.

“You know the kind of sex where when you’re done, you’re hands are just full of clumps of his hair and you don’t remember pulling it out?”

Orson is in his office, right at the bridge of “You’ll be a Dentist” when Susan shows up demanding information as to why Orson gave Mike drugs when he knew that Mike was a junky addict whore. Orson tells Susan that he was just trying to help Mike with his pain, but Susan doesn’t believe him since dentists are not traditionally shoulder pain experts. Orson kindly asks Susan to leave but before she does she gives him a stern warning that if he gives Mike so much as a hit of Peyote at next week’s neighborhood key party she will bring the smack down.

“This isn’t what it looks like! I was just molesting her.”

Back on Wisteria Lane, a young boy-girl is ringing Edie’s bell, literally, not in a 70′s disco euphemism kind of way. When Edie answers, the boy-girl, who should definitely play one of Jodie Foster’s sexually ambiguous kids in Foster’s next movie, offers to sell Edie water for $20 a bottle during this time of crisis. Edie tells the little Cheney kid to go away and hit up Gaby since she likes to overpay for things. The boy-girl says he-she already tried but Gaby and Carlos said that they were moving and to not tell a single soul, but he-she felt Edie didn’t count since she is a minion of Satan.

Bowl cuts only flatter Mo.

Mike staggers to his truck, shaking, and feeling like there are bugs under his skin and starts rummaging through the ashtray for his pills so he can get his fix and make the screaming in his head stop. When he opens the pill bottle there is simply a note inside that reads, “Sea mea. Soozun. XOXO ☺” Mike goes to Susan and she tells him that she wasn’t going to just sit back and watch him spin out of control like her bush if left untended. Mike questions her fears reminding Susan that he has never missed a mortgage payment, or missed one of their monthly “love”-making sessions. Susan tells Mike that while he’s not a necessarily Jerry Blank yet, he did lie to her, brought a drug dealer into their home to date his stepdaughter, lied again and then convinced her best friend’s husband to prescribe him pills. Mike begins to roid-rage and demands that Susan give him back his pills but Susan tells Mike to talk to the liver spotted hand and walks away. Mike follows her and grabs her arm at the top of the stairs but when Susan tries to pull away she slips and tumbles to the bottom. This is just like when Donna Martin’s boyfriend pushed her down the stairs so he could get his own show where he had an excuse to sing every week. Dear God, I hope Mike doesn’t start playing acoustic wuss-rock now.

How do you talk to an angel? By being a total pussy.

At the hospital there is a news report on the television saying that another tornado has touched down outside of Mount Pleasant but both Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton, or possibly Pullman, are safe and accounted for. Mike rushes in the door carrying Susan in his arms as if she weighed no more than that new Lindsay Lohan doll that’s sweeping the nation. Unfortunately many people were already injured by the storm so Susan’s little tumble isn’t considered critical despite her pregnancy. Mike tries to demand immediate attention but the tiny nurse Chenbot tells him that a doctor can see Susan. “BUT FIRST, we’re going to stop all the other patients from dying.” Denied!

Katherine is fuming at Adam for not telling her that Crazy had visited their house. Adam promises Katherine that he will get a restraining order to make sure that she never comes knocking on their door again, right before there’s a knock upon their door. Katherine and Adam both look at the door, then back to each other, spit in each other’s face and simultaneously say “I love you.” Katherine goes to answer the door to find Bree on the doorstep who asks to borrow Adam to help her with a little situation back at her house.

“Hello, is this the Creepy residence?”

Adam and Katherine both come with Bree to try and lure Crazy out of the terlet. Katherine asks Bree why Crazy is in Bree’s house in the first place, and Bree tells her that she saw the woman crying and offered to lend an ear. “I can’t help that I have a sympathetic face. It’s the one I bought.” Katherine calls Bree on her lie and says she knows Bree wanted nothing but dirt. Adam knocks on the bathroom door and asks Crazy to come out, but when Crazy calls Adam “darling” through the door, Katherine pipes up and insists that she not call her husband that word. “Shithead and dickless, however are fine.” Bree drags Katherine away so that Adam can work his magic and get that nut out of her loo.

While in the kitchen Katherine asks Bree what Crazy had told her. Bree tells Katherine that Crazy insisted that she and Adam had an affair. Katherine corrects the story and says that Crazy is, get this, crazy, and built up the relationship in her head. One day Adam gave her a sympathetic 15-second open mouth, tongue twirly kiss, and Crazy took it to mean they were in love. When Adam wouldn’t pursue the relationship, Crazy had a breakdown and accused Adam of sexual harassment. Instead of a lengthy trial, Adam settled out of court, but in the process lost his practice, he and Katherine’s savings and all of their friends in Chicago which is how they ended up back on Wisteria Lane. Bree tells Katherine that she too would have spit in the woman’s face, and Katherine and Bree start spitting in each other’s face and just laugh and laugh.

My Aunt Edna gives this episode a “whaaahhhht?”

In Miss McCluskey’s dungeon, she and Ida are enjoying a game of strip poker, when Lynette and the kids file in like the Von Trapps on coke. The kids immediately start screaming and finding small animals to torture, and are thrilled when their dad points out that there is a cat in the basement with them. Them’s good eatin’. Ida brought her one friend, Mrs. Whiskerson Von Tinklesberry III with her but unfortunately Tom is highly allergic. Lynette asks Ida if it she would mind if they put the cat in a closet upstairs, but Ida tells her only if they can put one of her kids in the closet too. Lynette initially agrees to send the little one that she never really liked anyway but then realizes child protection is on her ass like glue, so she better watch her step. Lynette tries to tell Ida that the cat is just and animal and her husband, who is 83% human being is in pain. Big M steps in and tells Lynette that if she has a problem with Ida’s cat she can take her demon children and leave.

These two are playing Old Maid. The cards are just a formality.

Back at Wisteria Lane General, Mike and Susan are still waiting to see the doctor. Mike is getting shaky and anxious, just like he does before sex night every month, so Susan asks him if everything is all right. Before Mike can answer another patient is wheeled in ahead of them. Mike stands up and insists that he and Susan were there long before that bloody burn victim who’s hemorrhaging blood out of her eyes. The doctor looks over at Susan’s face and screams, demanding that she be seen immediately and treated for the knife marks on her face stat! Mike tells the doctor that she always looks like that and it’s her kankle that needs attention. The doctor reminds Mike that the other patient’s wounds are slightly more serious than his wife’s, although no more gag-inducing, so Mike will just have to wait. The doctor begins to walk away but Mike grabs his arm, since that plan has worked so well for him all day. When the doctor turns around to pull away, Mike swings and punches the doctor in his face. The Asian nurse immediately springs into action and grabs the phone to get Mike subdued. “I need security in the emergency room now! BUT FIRST, talk dirty to me.”

“Don’t hit his face! It’s the one part that’s not covered in moles and warts!”

Mike is put in restraints and tied to a chair, again just like monthly sex night, while he waits for Susan to exit the exam room. Susan exits with a boot on her foot but insists that the baby is fine: 10 fingers, 10 toes, one tail, three nipples. Susan tells Mike that he needs to get help at a rehab facility, but Mike insists that he can kick the problem himself just like when he stopped collecting Hummel figurines from Parade Magazine. He’s sure he’s hit rock bottom being handcuffed to a chair and wrestled to the ground by a tiny Asian nurse, so he can stop taking the pills without any help. Just then a sassy fat, black nurse walks up, who should get her own spin-off called Sassy, Fat, Black Nurse, and gives Susan her delicious, pain-numbing, glorious, glorious pain pills. Mike looks at Susan and down at the pills, then back to Susan, then back to the pills, and begs with his eyes for a little something to make the hurting go away, again just like on monthly sex night. Susan cannot believe his request but Mike insists he just needs one and that he’ll quit first thing tomorrow, plus he’ll do that special thing Susan likes on the next sex night. Susan stays strong and tells Mike that he is going to rehab and if he doesn’t she will take their baby and leave him for good. Plus Andrew moved away so Mike’s sexual offer is a moot point anyway. Mike gives in and says, “you win,” altogether now, just like on sex night.

“Sassy, Fat, Black Nurse, this fall only on FOX!”

Back on Wisteria Lane Edie is on Gaby’s porch when Carlos’s accountant shows up and, having never seen either lady, mistakes Edie for Gaby. He gives Edie the papers for the Cayman Island account and tells her that she’s just as pretty as Carlos said. Edie corrects him and insists that she’s prettier and has a good 8 inches on Carlos’s description, in more ways than one. Upstairs Gaby hears a car pulling away and goes to the window to see Edie reading through the papers. Gaby yells at Edie and Edie takes off like the pace car in a drag race, again in more ways than one. Gaby follows Edie to her house as the storm begins to brew violently. Gaby pounds on the door and demands to be let in but Edie warns that she has called the police. Big, black police who will taser Gaby’s ass. Gaby stops pounding and Edie feels that she gave up, just before Edie’s glass door is broken with a chair and Gaby steps through with a determined “Buffy” look on her face. Gaby chases Edie around the living room trying to snatch the folder. Edie tries to make a deal for 60% of the money, ’cause trips to Sweden aren’t cheap, before Gaby attacks her and grabs the folder. Gaby runs outside with Edie average-looking-for-her-age on her heels. When outside the two girl-fight over the folder before it is tossed away in the wind. Gaby begins to scream at the lost fortune as Edie looks off in the horizon frozen with fear, or botox. As Gaby rages, Edie grabs her and points her toward the site of a F5 tornado (the finger of God) rushing toward them. Edie grabs Gaby and pulls her back into the house.

“Holy frijole, it’s un tornahdo! Ay caramba!”

Back in Big Ms basement, Tom’s throat is closing up from the cat dander, or desire to be released from his torturous like of making mediocre pizza and raising Satan’s spawns, so Lynette devises a plan. She takes the cat out of his cage and sneaks him up the stairs while Big M and Ida snore like the three stooges minus Edie’s usual “woo woo woo.” As Lynette is placing the cat in the closet upstairs, Big M comes upstairs and catches her, causing the cat to wriggle out of Lynette’s arms and run away, just like Lynette’s first two kids. Lynette insists that she is not going to sit and watch her husband suffocate without taking part in it, and Big M tells Lynette that she won’t let Ida wake up to find her cat missing. Lynette pleads with Big M as a friend, but Big M corrects Lynette saying that they are not friends. Lynette only talks to her when she needs something from her, like a safe haven from a storm, or a babysitter, or tips on how to properly freeze a husband’s corpse. Lynette tries to disagree but can’t come up with an instance where she spoke to Big M without asking for a favor. Suddenly winds blow open the door and the cat runs outside, finally free of the mental and sexual torture inflicted upon him by Ida. Big M runs out to retrieve the cat but Lynette tries to convince her stay inside where it’s safe. Big M yells that friends help each other and Lynette eventually runs out after her. Big M is on the ground trying to get the cat out from under a car as debris blows around her. Lynette pulls Miss McCluskey to her feet as big M looks off and sees the tornado bearing down on them. They begin to rush back to the basement but are halted by a falling charcoal grill, and we all know there is no way around a fallen grill, so they retreat into Lynette’s house.

“O my God! The grill’s dead! It’s de-e-e-ad! Why, God? WHY??”

Edie and Gaby close the door and shake, their breasts heaving, bodies glistening with perspiration, expressions of raw sexual energy on their faces, before Edie announces that she has a crawl space. Gaby tells Edie that this isn’t the time to talk about her vagina, before Edie grabs Gaby’s hand and leads her to hatch. Gaby insists that she is not sharing a crawl space with Edie after Edie threw her money into a tornado, before they hear glass breaking and Gaby pushes Edie into the hole and dives in after her.

Edie honey, you’re not putting a lid on those tranny rumors with facial expressions like that.

Back at the Vandekamp house Orson rushes in and fights to close the door. He insists that they immediately barricade themselves in the bathroom or somewhere else close to hair product. Bree tells him that a crazy woman has locked herself in the bathroom and won’t come out and Orson smiles ear to ear hearing that his mother stopped by. Bree explains who the woman is before Orson tells them that there is a funnel cloud just outside the house and it looks angry and slightly like his Mommy. Bree bangs on the bathroom door and demands to be let in but Crazy won’t budge. Orson suddenly remembers the panic room and leads everyone across the hall to the safety of the closet that Andrew lived in for 17 years.

Lynette and Big M rush into her bathroom and Lynette tells Big M to get in the tub. Big M begins to run water, light candles and strip but Lynette kills the mood by pushing her in. fully clothed and climbs in with her before pulling a mattress over them for protection.

“Miss McCluskey, that had better be your finger!”

Back in Edie’s crawlspace, Gaby and Edie listen to the storm rage above them. Gaby begins to apologize for lying to Edie, but Edie stops her saying that there is no cause for deathbed confessions since they’re both going to survive. Edie is sure she will be able to both hate Gaby for years to come and finally get her last testicle removed. Edie confesses that she doesn’t really hate Gaby, rather is just hurt because she let herself fall for Carlos knowing that he would always go back to Gaby, with her shiny hair, petite body and lack of testicles.

“Edie honey, is that a roll of quarters in your pocket!”

In Bree’s closet, Katherine and Bree begin bitching at each other like Paris and Nicole before they grew up or got knocked up. Adam tells the ladies to either strip and get some jell-o or stop fighting. Katherine agrees and apologizes for her attitude saying that she’s just upset that Crazy is back in her life. Bree says that it was difficult for her to sit there and listen to Crazy babble on about how much she loved Adam and how she licked 1,000 Island dressing off his snake tattoo. Bree knows that was a lie because she has the Men of Wisteria Lane commemorative calendar and has seen that there is no tattoo on Adam’s back, just a surprising amount of thick, black hair and that brand that says “Property of Katherine.” Katherine glares at Adam and tells Bree that Adam doesn’t have a tattoo now, but did when they lived in Chicago before he had it removed. Bree feels awkward as Katherine bitches at Adam about lying to her and causing them to lose everything, including her Hummel figuring collection. Adam doesn’t have a third leg to stand on and simply hangs his head in shame as Katherine cries softly. Bree reaches out a withered hand and clutches Katherine’s claw in support.

“Let’s play a word game to break the tension. I’ll say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to your mind. Ok….Tattoo. O crap.”

Carlos rushes into Gaby’s house yelling her name before walking into the living room to find Victor sitting patiently in a chair, holding a gun. Carlos immediately begins to apologize for his deception, saying that he and Gaby are two halves of the same greedy, lying, adulterous hole and aren’t happy unless they are together. Victor asks if Carlos is finished and when Carlos says yes, Victor raises the gun and shoots. This is why you should always keep talking when someone has a gun pointed at you. Remember that kids. Luckily Victor has the aim of Don Knotts and Carlos is able to run out the door with Victor chasing him into the raging storm. Once outside, Carlos blindsides Victor and wrestles the gun out of his hands. As the two fight like schoolgirls, a car falls from the sky right beside them. A man sits stunned in the car before Andrew raises his head up, looking confused. Carlos punches Victor and rushes to a random house, but Victor isn’t down for the count yet. He gets up and follows Carlos with a random lead pipe and draws it back to smash Carlos in the head. Before he can make the fatal blow a random plank from a fallen picket fence flies through the air and impales Victor through the heart, turning him to ash. Now he’s down for the count. As Carlos stares in disbelief a piece of debris hurtles through the air and knocks him unconscious, or possibly knocks him dead. We’re not sure.

“It doesn’t hurt so much on my neck or stomach, more toward’s the center. Maybe I should get it checked out.”

Back in Bree’s tacky bathroom, Crazy is alone wondering where all the screaming outside the door went, so she decides to walk out and check. She wanders toward the door calling for Adam and threatening to tell everyone what really happened if he doesn’t come to her. When no one responds to her rants, she opens the door to leave and is immediately sucked into the whirlwind and off to Oz. If you have information that could wrap up a season’s mystery, you should always stay in the house. Just another tip from you Uncle Fozzie, kids.

“By the way, when Dylan was a little girl her dad…..aagggghhhhhhhhh!!!”

We see slow motion cuts of everyone crying and screaming as the tornado passes directly over the homes. Edie and Gaby hold each other salaciously as the house shakes. Bree, Orson, Benjamin, Katherine and Adam all listen as debris is thrown through the windows, and Lynette and Big M hide under the mattress in the bathroom as a tree branch crashes through the wall on top of them.

Mary Alice reminds us that it was supposed to have been a beautiful day just as we see the Lindsay Lohan action figure nestled in the branches of a tree, fresh off a weekend bender. The storm has passed and everyone is free to come out of hiding. Bree finds her house a mess and cries at the amount of dust bustering she’ll have to do to get it back in order. It will take her at least 20 minutes. Edie and Gaby exit their foxhole having forgiven each other for their wrongdoings. Susan and Mike are exiting the hospital in each other’s arms with a firm plan in place to get Mike help with his addiction and a coordinated schedule for the next three month’s sex nights. Lynette and Big M crawl out of the tub having learned what real friendship means: being in a tub together. As Lynette exits the house she smiles at the warm sun before she looks across the street to Miss McCluskey’s house, or more accurately, the pile of completely demolished rubble that was once her house. Lynette begins to scream and runs toward the house calling out her husband and children’s names before we fade to black.

“My husband and kids are gone forever! I really shouldn’t have wished on that star.”

Wow. What did you think? Do you think Lynette’s husband and children are really dead? If so, I feel kind of bad for all those ginger and gay-face jokes. If not, then that’s just a dirty trick on the writer’s part. Also what happened to the neighborhood gays and Andrew? What’s the rest of Katherine and Adam’s story? Mary Alice warned us that by the end of the day one of the women would lose a husband and everyone would lose a friend. Victor was Gaby’s husband so there’s that one. We all know that the kids weren’t anyone’s friend. I’m hoping that they’re all O.K. and Ida is the friend that died. Sorry Ida, but you had it coming. Looks like we may have a long time to wait, so let’s all pray this strike ends soon so we can get some answers. To fill the time, leave a comment.

I hope Mad-Man Murphy and Party Hardy Pardee enjoy their extended vacation.