Dollhouse: Love is a Battlefield

Back at the ritzy hotel suite a bunch of guys break into Victor’s suite. You see? This is why I don’t stay in ritzy hotel suites on vacation. Well that and the way the desk clerk laughs and laughs when they run my credit card through the computer.

The breaking in guys are all dressed in military clothing and doing fairly badass solider type stuff as they sweep the hotel suite and head for the bedroom. For some reason, okay, the script says so, Victor wakes up and sneaks up on one of the bad guys. Victor takes the guy out quietly, but the other solder types seem to know something is up which leads to a pretty good fight scene with some above average kung fuing, but also leads to Victor getting his butt kicked and his head shoved in a black bag.

We go back to the dollhouse, where it is the next morning and Topher calls Boyd in to say that they had a bio-whatjamagidget installed in Victor, and it stopped transmitting the night before. Boyd is pretty calm about it and says he’ll send a van by to check it out. Topher says that won’t cut it, because according to the squigglies on Victor’s brain chart he was fighting for his life. Boyd looks at the squigglies too and they do look very green and very squiggly, so Boyd takes Topher’s word on this one.

Boyd brings Echo with him to check out Victor’s hotel suite which doesn’t look that messed up. They walk around the room and both decide that Victor must have been kidnapped by somebody who knew about the dollhouse which is why they knew Victor was getting out yesterday and how to disconnect the bio-whatjamagidget. Boyd says it has to be an inside job so they head back to the dollhouse.

We cut over to Victor and find out he’s been taken prisoner by a bunch of male models, I mean super solders. It turns out one of the models was in the same unit as Victor back before he became a doll and he makes a pitch to Victor that he should sign up with their super solider army, and Victor decides joining the Zoolander Brigade makes a lot of sense. Oh man, so you go shot down in a bar and slept in a bathtub, don’t give up Victor. That pretty much describes my complete junior year in college. Sadly, talking at my TV doesn’t work in this case, unless you count getting my neighbor to pound on the wall again, then it works super.

Back at the dollhouse Boyd and Echo do some fancy typing and find out that some guys at a solider for hire part of Rossum Corporation were all up in Victor’s records and seem to want him for some top secret plan which Boyd can’t get into, so Echo uses one of her personalities to hack the computer, and we find out that Rossum has been scooping up all sorts of guys like Victor and are turning them into super solders with neural radios in their noggins.

While this is going on the male models tell Victor they need to shot something into his neck, but when they do he’ll never be alone, and think and feel just like everybody else. Oh man, watch out Victor, this sounds a little culty to me. If this goes bad, you can end up brainwashed and thinking the only way you can cure a tooth ache is by watching Days of Thunder. Once again, my opinion counts for squat-o and Victor gets his shot.

Boyd gets a little face time with DeWitt and tells her Rossum is building an army. DeWitt doesn’t seem too concerned by this news but then again the way she is sucking down the scotch, I seriously doubt she’d be concerned if Boyd set her hair on fire. Boyd tries to tell DeWitt they have to do something to save Victor but the way DeWitt remembers it the last time they went up against Rossum she was the one who ended up fetching drinks for Evil Keith Carradine, and oh yeah, getting lied to by everybody. Oh and the reason DeWitt remembers it that way is because that’s exactly how it went down. Anyway she orders Boyd to forget about Victor, and sit his butt down so she can tell him how she came thiiiiiissssss close to being Posh Spice back in the day.

Boyd and Echo then go to talk to Topher about what Rossum is up too, and Topher tells them it’s worse then they think. Rossum doesn’t want to put neural radios in people’s noggin; they are gunning for group think. Group think is where through the use of a hive mind, people move, act and speak as one. Yep, Rossum want to bring back InSync. The horror, the horror.

Well the good news is Team Good Guys aren’t going to take this lying down. They get Ivy signed up and proceed to fill Echo’s noggin with every badass military type personality they have, which turns out to be a lot. Of course this isn’t good enough for Echo who says she needs one more thing.

We then cut to Sierra coming out of the chair with her original personality in her tater, and she’s more then a little pissed. As we all remember, Topher had promised her that if he ever brought her back again, she wouldn’t have to remember about that creepo who drove her crazy, got her stuck in the Dollhouse, and then used her as a love slave for over a year. Oh and I almost forgot, her gutting said creepo like a fish and then she, Topher, and Boyd dissolving the creepo’s body in his bathtub.

Topher apologizes and explains that if he wiped out those memories she wouldn’t remember the day he told her that she and Victor were in love, and this gets her attention.

We then go to Echo and Sierra driving out to the secret Rossum military bunker that Echo found in about four seconds earlier. Echo catches Sierra up to speed on how they need to get Victor back before he gets sucked into the group mind, and Echo thinks a little nookie should remind Victor who he really is. Err, I mean that the power of their love will draw Victor back to them.

They get out to the bunker, and Sierra asks how they are going to get inside. Echo shoots out a security camera and says by being taken prisoner. I could make jokes about how dumb this sounds, but seeing as James Bond has done it every freaking one of his movies; it qualifies as a pretty good plan in my book.

It works too, because when we come back from the commercial the male modes, I mean super solders are leading Echo and Sierra into their impregnable bunker. They’ve got echo and Sierra tied up and wearing those black bags on their heads, but it doesn’t do the models much good, because Echo was blind for an episode last season, so she has no problem whooping up on these bozos blindfolded.

Echo gets herself and Sierra untied, and Sierra wants to know how they are going to find Victor. Echo tells her Victor will come to them, because thanks to the group think all the bad guys in the bunker know Echo just knocked out two of them. Speak of the devil, Echo spots a couple of male models and moves on ahead to make with the chop socky, which is why Sierra is totally surprised when Victor shows up.

At first Victor is all ready to plug Sierra, but she reminds him that they are in luvvvvv, and makes some pretty serious puppy dog eyes at him, which after a long moment filled with dramatic tension, works.

Echo shows up and Victor wants to know how they are going to get out. Echo tells him they are just going to book to the nearest exit, and then knocks out Victor. Echo then does Sierra and the audience a huge favor by explaining that Victor is still part of the group mind so all the bad guys were listening in and they are going to do the exact opposite. This is where Echo gives Sierra a gun and exits stage left to save the mother humping day.

Back at the dollhouse, DeWitt gets a phone call, and in a priceless moment she is passed out and when the phone rings, she leaves a string of drool running to her desk when she answers it. Oh crikey, it’s her boss. DeWitt tries to bluff her way out of the phone call by saying of course she knows that Echo and Sierra are out of the dollhouse. Too bad for her she has to admit she had no idea they were going to a Rossum facility and of course she’ll get them back right away. DeWitt then hangs up the phone and heads out to see what is going on, and in a moment of high comedy, tries to put on her heels while being completely poopfaced.

Back at the model’s bunker, Victor comes to, but good news; he’s still the only one doing his thinking, so Sierra won’t have to shoot him, which would make this trip and most of the episode a complete waste of time. We get semi-bad news because some bad guys show up and start shooting at Victor and Sierra. Victor shoots back at them and in between makes small talk with Sierra. Sierra thinks they should save the talking for when they get out of there, but Victor says it helps him remember who he is, and it’s way easier then trying to read the labels with his name on them in his underwear.

Back at the dollhouse DeWitt comes staggering into Boyd’s office. Man is she snockered. The Titanic in the last ten minutes of the movie doesn’t list as bad as she is right now. Anyway she comes in to lay down the law with Boyd for ignoring her authority. Too bad she’s carrying a glass of scotch with her like a security blanket.

Actually it turns out Boyd is the one who lays down the law. He tells DeWitt she’s a drunk and if she doesn’t get her poop together he’s going to break down her door, whatever that means. It seems to get to DeWitt because she looks embarrassed and leaves the room for some much needed poop gathering.

Back at the bunker Victor and Sierra are being chased by the models, when they duck around a corner and run into Victor’s old army buddy. The army buddy has the drop on them, but Victor gives him some song and dance about how they fought together, and that the old army buddy really doesn’t want to do this. And it works, the guy lowers his gun and tells Victor to get going. Really? Really?? Just where did Rossum get this group think thingee of theirs, Big Lots?

Anyway, after that improbable plot twist Victor and Sierra start to leave, which is right when the other models show up and shoot army buddy a squidjillion times. Victor and Sierra duck around a corner, but it seems to be a dead end, and they are trapped.

We cut back from the action to the dollhouse. Where DeWitt goes down to the dolls shower area and peels down out of her clothes so she can take a shower that will both symbolically cleanse her of being on Team Bad Guy, and hopefully do something about the fact she’s been sweating stale scotch for about the last three days now.

We cut away from that brief glimpse of personal hygiene back to the bunker and Echo, who has made her way to that room where the models shot that group think thing into Victor. Luckily for the plot, they have plenty of extra chips, so Echo is able to shoot one into herself.

Just then a couple of models show up and kung fu fighting breaks out. The only problem is because Echo is now part of the group think mind, everybody in the fight knows what the other person is going to do before they do it, and so it turns into a stalemate.

Echo’s not beat though, because she’s got so many personalities in her brain, she’s able to drown out all the other minds in the group think and starts mentally telling the models to stop fighting, over and over again. And it works. Yep, that’s right, she nags them into submission.

Meanwhile Victor and Sierra are still trapped so for some reason they decide to Butch and Sundance it, and jump out in front of the male models, who shoot at them a squidjillion times. Oh, and miss. Yep, Echo telepathically nagged them into submission too and told them all to go home. Echo then shows up and the good guys exit stage right.

We cut to our heroes riding away from the bunker in a car. Victor and Sierra are finally getting to spend some time together as themselves without anyone shooting at them. Echo pulls the car over and tells them to get out. Hey Echo, so somebody farted in the car, it’s a long trip, it was bound to happen.

Oh wait, that’s not the reason. Echo tells them they need to get out and make a break for it, because if they go back with Echo they all will get sent to the attic. Naturally Victor and Sierra don’t want to do this, but they get talked into it and everyone is promising to get together real soon, when ZOT! They all get remotely wiped.

We go back to the dollhouse and see what’s going on since DeWitt sobered up. Well let me see, Boyd is being lead away in handcuffs, and Echo is being all trussed up to be sent to the attic, and when Topher asks if they really have to do this; DeWitt tells him if he won’t do his job she will dump his personality into a doll to get the job done. Then she tells Echo that she’s been a pain in DeWitt’s rump since day one, and that’s why she’s going to the attic. Oh DeWitt also takes time to tell Echo that while nobody really knows what happens at the attic, DeWitt hears it’s like every person’s worst vision of hell. After that cheery little news, Topher throws the switch, and we get another ZOT!

The last thing we see is Echo at the attic being put in a big plastic tray, kind of dressed like a mummy, and these people putting a big sheet of saran wrap on her which then gets sucked right down on to her face as her eyes open up. The End.

Wow, not a dull moment in that episode, huh?

“After we’re done can I go to her office with a sharpie?” Leave it to my boy Topher to get a little humor in the episode.

I know that this was a very Echo centric show, but in my opinion Olivia Williams turned in a hell of performance in this episode. The gradual way she got sloppier and sloppier in each scene was really good, but the flat out evil harpy she turned into at the end of the show was chilling.

Anyway, sorry this was so late, and advanced apologies for the next post, but tis not the season for prompt recaps.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by and we’ll talk soon.