Dollhouse: Una Guera Loca Puede Arruinar Su Día Entero

Hey Gasmi, well it’s time to see what our pals in America’s favorite brainwashing facility have gotten up to this week. Oh and Echo almost helps an illegal immigrant get a lethal injection. So quit dawdling and make the jump and see what happens in this episode of Dollhouse.

Our episode starts back at the LA dollhouse, and Ivy is trying to get the skinny on what went down last week from Topher. Topher must be wearing his mainly man underoos today, because he tells Ivy it’s a clear violation of the bro code to talk about the women you’ve been with, with other women. This code obviously isn’t etched in stone because Topher then promptly spills the beans on his star crossed 29 minute relationship with Bennett, and how much it hurt Topher when she sent a sleeper agent after Echo. Okay, it’s pretty obvious that Topher’s manly man underoos need a little starch in them right frigging now.

This isn’t the dirt Ivy was looking for, and she gets a little miffed at Topher and tells he is going to have to trust her some day. Too bad for her Topher has decided he can never trust a woman again.

We go from that little convo over to Boyd and DeWitt who are playing the newest game from Milton Bradley, where’s Echo. Boyd gives us some crucial exposition and tells us they haven’t seen hide nor hair of Echo since Nosey Pants offed his wife back in DC, and Boyd thinks it’s because Echo is hitchhiking. DeWitt is mortified to hear this, because everybody knows hitchhiking is the first step on the road to dirtyhippyvile. She tells Boyd they need to find Echo as quick as they can before she ends up selling patchouli oil in the parking lot at Pish concerts. Okay, not really, but she is worried that in her doll state, Echo won’t be able to survive on her own in the real world.

We go from sunny LA, okay we’re in a bunker four stories underground, but it’s LA so the sun is shinning somewhere, to some little shit kicker town in Texas, where we see Echo who is in full on Forestina Gump mode, eating out of garbage cans and barely able to string three words together in a sentence. Echo seems to have shown up late for the raccoon all you can eat brunch buffet in this particular ally so her tum tum doesn’t get filled up. Luckily there happens to be a grocery store near by, but too bad for Echo this particular grocery store is the winner of the most racist redneck stereotype establishment in the grocery industry without a deli for three years running.

Echo is in the store for maybe 30 seconds before she finds out they don’t like tards who don’t come to their family reunions, and she gets the bum rush. While this is going on Echo sees a poor Mexican girl who’s getting treated like poop, because as we mentioned, they are racists and it’s hard to get your daily recommended allowance of hate against ethic groups in if you just discriminate against a young attractive white woman.

Echo notice the poor Mexican girl didn’t get any food either, so she puts into action a plan to get them both something to eat. She grabs eight Twinkies off an end display and gives the poor Mexican girl four. Sadly, this doesn’t work out too good for the poor Mexican girl, because right after she takes possession of those hot Twinkies, the local racist redneck sheriff and his racist deputy show up to engage in a little racist law enforcement.

The poor Mexican girl gets promptly arrested by the big racist sheriff who kind of looks like Jim Gaffigan (hooooot pockets) and his racist deputy chases Echo down that ally. The deputy catches Echo and is all set to arrest her when she slips out of Forestina mode and into kung fu Echo. The racist deputy then gets a fairly severe and highly satisfying butt kicking from Echo before she exits stage left.

We go back to the dollhouse and find out DeWitt’s life has gone in the crapper. Evil Keith Carradine is camped out in her office talking with an extra creepy client and DeWitt is serving tea to both of them. That is, before Evil Keith Carradine kicks her out of what used to be her office, like I said, her life sucks.

We go from this to some hospital where Echo is a nurse. She makes small talk with another nurse, and then somehow it works out that she will have to go cover for the other nurse and give flu shots at the local jail. Interestingly enough, at least to me; the subject of where the best dumpster in town is to eat out of never comes up in the conversation.

Back in LA DeWitt is complaining to Boyd about what a butthead Evil Keith Carradine is, but Boyd points out that he can’t figure out if DeWitt is steamed that Evil Keith Carradine is running the house, or just that she isn’t. DeWitt gets a look on her face like she just got punched in the baby maker, but Boyd does kind of have a point on this one.

Meanwhile, when nurse Echo heads down to the local jail to give flu shots, it just happens to be run by that racist sheriff and racist deputy she met in the parking lot of the racist grocery store. They bring in a prisoner for her shot, and oh my god, it’s the poor Mexican girl. Wow, we’ve got a little three month reunion going on, and not to spoil the surprise, but there is going to be a four way tie for the longest trip to reunion plaque.

Nurse Echo sees that Racist Redneck Sheriff and racist redneck deputy have been roughing up the poor Mexican girl pretty regularly. The racists redneck sheriff points out that you have to do whatever it takes to make sure you a-tor-it-tay is respected in the big house and I have to side with Racist Redneck Sheriff on this one. I mean, if you can’t control a 102 pound Mexican woman, how are you going to get the Aryan Brotherhood to go to sleep at 9:00 on a school night? Also Racist Redneck Deputy points out if immigration had deported the poor Mexican girl sooner none of this would have happened. Strictly speaking, he’s right too, but for me all he’s done is make me hope whatever the screenwriter has planned for these jokers in the third act involves great pain and their poop-chutes.

After Nurse Echo establishes that neither of our members of racist law enforcement can speak Spanish, she tells the poor Mexican girl to take one of the pills Echo is giving her at lunch tomorrow, and Echo will be back to rescue her. Good for you Echo, but let’s just hope this scheme works better then the infamous Twinkie plan.

Back at the dollhouse, Ivy gets a little irked at Topher for standing over her while she’s got Sierra in the chair. Topher says he’s not lurking, he just wants to confer with a colleague. Ivy’s face lights up, is Topher going to finally start treating her like an actual human being? Well not today, no Topher wants to talk to Sierra whom he had them dump a super smart doctor’s personality into.

Topher spends some time talking with Sierra and Victor, who is also super smart, but sadly for us not Topher, about god knows what. Seriously, everybody spouts some serious techno gibberish, that all I was able to take away from it is that Topher is working on some super secret project for Evil Keith Carradine, and price is no object.

Okay is anyone curious what Echo has gotten up too in the past minute? No? Your life is a series of quiet crushing disappointments, isn’t it? No matter, Echo comes into what looks like her apartment after a long day of fake nursing and a trip to the grocery store. She barely gets the door closed before some big duffus pops out of a corner and grabs her. There’s a little bit of scuffling before Echo gets control of the situation, but when she does we see she got jumped by Pucker Face. Huh, what, who?

Things quickly get cleared up though, and we find out Pucker Face is helping Echo train. For what we don’t know yet, but he’s apparently been Mr. Miyaging Echo like a son of a gun for these past few months. As a matter of fact he gives Echo a quick critique and tells her she should have started smacking him around as soon as she knew he was in the room. Well I don’t know about you, but that sounds like sound advice to me.
Pucker Face also sees Echo brought home mac and cheese for dinner and bitches about how none of her multiple personalities can cook. Hey dickhead, just a tip for future reference, the stove turns on for people with penises too.

Anyway, our couple settles into a meal of America’s favorite orange food and they spend a little time talking about how Echo is getting used to accessing her personalities at will. She’s had some headaches, but she says it’s not too bad, and she should be all set to break the poor Mexican girl out of jail tomorrow. Pucker Face makes some more noise and we learn this whole bit with the poor Mexican girl is mainly practice for when Echo goes back to the Dollhouse and springs everybody.

With that bit of exposition out of the way Echo and Pucker Face can get down to what’s important, some serious heavy duty flirting, mainly by Echo. So we aren’t too surprised when Echo and Pucker Face start stripping down for the after dinner festivities, beating the hell out of each other. Yep, those crazy kids are still training, although Echo makes it very clear that she is all in favor doing the horizontal mambo, but it’s no dice because Pucker Face says he doesn’t want to have sex with her because what with her being a doll it would make him feel like one of those many faceless creeps who used Echo as a sexual plaything. Echo obviously thinks this is a load of bull stuff, but Pucker Face has made it pretty clear that Mr. Happy isn’t coming out to play tonight, so Echo heads for the showers.

Back in LA DeWitt is dropping off some paperwork with Topher and tries to get him to spill the beans about that secret project that Evil Keith Carradine has him working on, too bad for DeWitt Evil Keith Carradine comes up behind her when she’s trying to get the goods from Topher. Evil Keith Carradine tells DeWitt not to worry about big picture stuff like that and then talks up Topher, and lets her know that Topher is way more important to the dollhouse now then she is. God, what a dick. You try to foil some bosses’ evil master plans with a brainwashed US senator and they never let you forget it.

Back in Texas, Echo is still in the shower and Pucker Face is on the phone with Boyd?
Yep, our Boyd and Pucker Face are talking like this isn’t the first time they’ve been phone buddies in the past three months. Pucker Face tells Boyd that Echo is just about done with her training and they should be able to come in soon.

We go ahead to what must be the next day, because the poor Mexican girl is in her jail cell and she takes one of those pills Echo gave her. This leads to her collapsing to the floor and going into convulsions. Okay, it looks like we now know that one of Echo’s personalities is the world’s shittiest pharmacist.

Anyway, Racist Redneck Sheriff needs somebody to come down to the jail and keep the poor Mexican girl from croaking on him, and wouldn’t you know it, the hospital sends Nurse Echo.

Echo comes down and tells the poor Mexican girl, in Spanish, that Echo is going to give her a shot of this stuff that will make the poor Mexican girl appear to be dead, but when Poor Mexican Girl wakes up, she’ll be free. Poor Mexican Girl is pretty out of it already, so she doesn’t get any say in the matter, and as soon as she gets her shot, she slumps over.

Just to make it even more convincing, Nurse Echo disconnects the wire to the machine making those heart beeping noises and after three seconds of the most half-assed CPR in medical history, she tells Racist Redneck Sheriff that Poor Mexican Girl has gone to illegal immigrant heaven. Oh and she sets the timer on her watch for an as yet unknown reason.

Racist Redneck Sheriff and his racist deputy both pretty much poop a brick at this news because an autopsy will show that they had been using Poor Mexican Girl for piñata practice for going on three months. Luckily for them and the plot though Nurse Echo just happens to be able to get rid of the bodies of dead illegal immigrants, but only if the racist redneck wonder twins promise to never ever do this again. Racist Redneck Sheriff and his racist deputy are quick to take this particular pledge. They will never ever, ever beat this particular poor Mexican girl to death ever again. And, with all the ethical questions taken care of, Echo starts pushing the gurney with Poor Mexican Girl on it right out of the jail.

Nurse Echo keeps looking at her watch and the time seems to keep ticking down faster and faster, so she keeps riding racist deputy to hurry it up because otherwise she won’t be able to hide Poor Mexican’s girl’s body at the hospital. It kind of gets him goosed and they are almost out of the jail, when Echo’s timer goes off, and Poor Mexican Girl wakes up on the gurney. (By the way, this leads to a good laugh when Racist Deputy responds by screaming “Zombie!” and immediately cowering in the corner.)

This really puts a cramp in Nurse Echo’s plan because once Racist Deputy figures out that Poor Mexican Girl has pulled the full Lazarus, she and Nurse Echo are what the the French call Le Busted.

Back at the dollhouse, DeWitt is getting pooped on yet again. Evil Keith Carradine is having a bunch of Rossum Corporation bigwigs over for drinks and cigars in DeWitt’s office. DeWitt finds out that one of the bigwigs just happens to be the guy who is going to be in charge of the new dollhouse they are opening up in Dubai, and Evil Keith Carradine tells DeWitt to make a list of her best dolls so this house can have them A-S-A-Frigging-P. Then the situation really hits the basement in the septic tank because this guy who might be Evil Keith Carradine’s boss says they might just send all of DeWitt’s dolls to Dubai, and with that cheery news, DeWitt and Boyd gets to exit the scene by using her, Evil Keith Carradine’s private elevator.

Once they get in the elevator, DeWitt starts in with her now continual pity party about how she keeps getting dumped on by her boss. Cheer up DeWitt, sure Evil Keith Carradine is out to turn the world into a slave population for whatever his twisted little heart desires, but it’s not like he went out and got hair plugs and then expected the entire office to say nice things about them without ever mentioning he was going bald in the first place. By the way boss? Your hair looks so thick and wavy lately, have you been working out? That’s right, I have no shame, welcome to the 2009 workforce people.

Anyway, Boyd is obviously really tired of listening to DeWitt mope, so he tells her the DeWitt he knew wouldn’t be bitching about this situation, she’d do whatever it took to get her house back. Boyd then exits stage left and DeWitt looks like he pointed out she has rounded shoulders. It’s called tough love DeWitt, or he just really doesn’t like you. If you get a box of poo from your secret Santa, you can chalk it up to reason #2.

Back at the jail, Racist Redneck Sheriff throws Echo and Poor Mexican Girl into a holding cell, and then leaves so they can escape. I mean so he can take care of some stuff and he exits stage left.

Poor Mexican Girl is a little concerned, because while she really doesn’t know what is going on, it’s painfully obvious that Echo has managed to get her into even more trouble, and seeing as she was getting beaten regularly while she was waiting to be deported, that is saying something. Still, Echo tells Poor Mexican Girl not to worry, because she’ll break them out in a jiffy.

Then Echo goes to use one of her personalities, and suddenly has a blinding headache. We know it’s bad because Eliza Dushku wraps her arms around her head and sinks to the floor. .

Back at the dollhouse, Topher has everyone gather around, so he can show off what he’s been working on all episode. It’s a refinement of the flashlight of doom. It looks like an air horn and when you shoot it at an active, it immediately wipes their personality turning them into a doll. This means they no longer need to use the chair to wipe dolls which will make everyone’s job a lot easier. Everyone thinks this is great and applauds. Well except for Sierra and Victor, who applaud and then start making out. Topher sees this and promptly zaps them with his new toy.

Evil Keith Carradine comes up to congratulate Topher and notices that Sierra and Victor are grouping, and asks Topher about it. Topher gulps and tries to say they aren’t, but Evil Keith Carradine tells him not to worry, it happens all the time with dolls. Topher is surprised to hear this news, and even more surprised by Evil Keith Carradine’s solution for it, to send either Sierra to Dubai.

Back at the jail, Echo’s noggin still hurts and Poor Mexican Girl is pounding on the glass for somebody to come and take a look at this crazy gringa they’ve locked her up with. Finally, Poor Mexican Girl comes over and gives Echo a pep talk which really seems to help. Well that, or it’s the 40 minute mark of the show and it’s time for Echo’s personalities to save the plot, because that super badass cat burglar that Echo was last season shows up.

Echo picks the lock to the cell with a piece of wire from her bra and then she and Poor Mexican Girl are back in the escape business. They dart down a hallway and run into a couple of big racist stuntmen, I mean deputies. Anyway it’s a perfect chance for Ninja Echo to come out to play, and before you know it the goons are laid out and Echo and Poor Mexican Girl get up to this door with an electric lock on it. Echo gets back into cat burglar, but her head is starting to hurt again. They pop that lock and are up to the last door again and Racist Deputy shows up for another round of fisticuffs with Echo. We get a nice satisfying fight, and Racist Deputy now gets to enter a special club made up of guys who got their butts kicked by Echo twice in the same episode. Way to go Racist Deputy, make sure you lead with that on your resume.

Echo is having serious headaches again, and doesn’t think she’ll be able to pick the last lock. Luckily Poor Mexican Girl grabs Racist Deputy’s keys and they are able to exit stage left without any more Dushku acting. God bless you Poor Mexican Girl.

Meanwhile Racist Redneck Sheriff has stumbled on to his knocked out deputies and figures out there is another jail break in progress, so he gets on the radio and rustles up some more goons. Too bad for him, Echo and Poor Mexican Girl actually make it out of the jail, steal a motorcycle and haul ass off camera. Still Racist Redneck Sheriff isn’t taking this laying down. He piles into a squad car and is all set to make with the hot pursuit. Too bad for him, his squad car gets cut off by Pucker Face.

Racist Redneck Sheriff is all set to go off on Pucker Face when Pucker Face introduces himself as an FBI agent, who just happens to have an audio recording of RRS talking about disposing of Poor Mexican’s Girl’s body and roughing her and the other inmates up. Pucker Face blackmails RRS with this, and we all can forget this plotline ever happened.

Meanwhile, back at the dollhouse Topher is taking DeWitt back to his little sleep area. Oh please God, no. Please don’t let them commit the worst act of rebound sex in the history of mankind, please, please, please. Hey, good news, little Topher is staying in his pants, yay!

Yeah, it turns out Topher wants to let DeWitt in on Evil Keith Carradine’s evil master plan. Last epsiode Topher found out that EKC had Bennett working on some other doll tech stuff that none of the other houses were working on, and when you match that up with what he had Topher working on this week, it means EKC is up to some seriously evil shenanigans. How evil? Topher has figured out that Evil Keith Carradine wants to be able to remotely turn every person walking the face of the earth into an active. Okay, I agree with Topher, that is about as evil as you can get.

DeWitt is shocked to hear someone would want to do something like this, and she gets to be double shocked when Topher shows her that he figured out how to do it. They both agree to keep this their little secret, and Topher carefully hides the plans in plain sight.

Back at Echo and Pucker Face’s hideaway, Echo is finally making things up to Poor Mexican Girl for screwing up her life for the past 47 minutes by giving her a forged green card. They share a new hug, but Poor Mexican Girl ducks out the door pretty quick, because that job just isn’t going to steal itself you know. By the way, this is the scene in the episode where Lou Dobbs takes another month’s worth of canned beanie weenies down to his basement and puts another dead bolt on his front door.

Anyway, Poor Mexican Girl ducks out, which works out perfectly for the screenwriter, because it gives Echo and Pucker Face one more scene to not have sex in. Echo is putting herself out there yet again, but Pucker Face doesn’t want to ruin what they have together. Dear Echo, you’re now officially a hag, love waffleboy. Well that and Boyd is waiting outside to take Echo back to the dollhouse, and with that, a very sexually frustrated Echo exits stage right.

We go back to the dollhouse because the Texas plotline is finally over, and Topher heads into his room and realizes somebody stole his evil master plan. Well, Evil Keith Carradine’s evil master plan, that Topher figured out. Either way, it’s gone and Topher pretty much poops a Prius.

Who could have done such a terrible thing? How about DeWitt? Yep she took the plans right to Evil Keith Carradine, and explained that once she figured out just how evil Team Evil actually was, she wanted on board. This logic works for Keith Carradine and she gets control of the dollhouse back. Okay, yay?

DeWitt heads over to have a little talk with Topher, who makes the mistake of calling her the coldest bitch walking the planet. Okay, that’s probably true at this point, but not the best thing to tell somebody who just got reinstated as his boss.

DeWitt gives Topher a hard slap to the face and tells him to quit whining. If he had such a problem with the evil master plan in the first place, he wouldn’t have figured it out, but all he really needs to do right now is remember that if he ever crosses her, Topher will find out first hand just what a bitch she can be. So, I’m guessing there won’t be a sheet cake in the break room to celebrate DeWitt’s reinstatement, huh?

We go from this ugly little moment to Echo walking back into the dollhouse with Pucker Face and Boyd, doing it in slow motion and looking very bad ass. Too bad for Echo, her level of bad assery isn’t anywhere near what DeWitt is throwing down right now. DeWitt comes over and makes it painfully clear she isn’t really buying Pucker Face’s story that he just found Echo and spent the last week nurturing her back to health. As a matter of fact, DeWitt announces there will be no treatments for Echo; instead they are going to lock her up in solitary and see just how many fake headaches she can stand. Pucker Face tries to start in on how this is a bad idea, but DeWitt cuts him off and while giving Echo an ice cold bitch stare says, “We’ve all know Echo’s special. Now let’s what’s she capable of.” The End.

There you go, another solid hour of TV that practically nobody is watching. I didn’t think this episode was quite as good as either of the ones last week, but it had everything a show needs to hold my attention for an hour.

DeWitt going over to Team Bad Guy totally caught me off guard. Even though when you think about it we’ve always known DeWitt was ruthless enough to be an excellent bad guy, pretty much every episode this season had me believing she was completely on board with the Good Guys. Still, I don’t think this is forever. Well I know for sure she is going to even things up with Evil Keith Carradine, and she won’t do a doll to do it. Either way, it’s kind of fun to have a villain in the dollhouse again.

As much as I loved the DeWitt twist, the whole bit with Echo breaking Poor Mexican Girl out of jail left me kind of cold. It was a good caper bit, but I couldn’t get past the fact that the whole reason Poor Mexican Girl’s life was en el case de pee-pee was because Echo came into it in the first place. Think about it, thanks to Echo Poor Mexican Girl almost became the first person in US history to be deported for receiving of stolen Twinkies.

So what do you guys think of this one? Oh and as per usual I’ll do my best to get the next post up as quick as I can. Thanks for stopping by and we’ll talk soon.