Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding Minicap

Hold onto your wigs, the Biermanns are headed to Atlanta.  Episode three opens with Kim telling K.J. to put in a good word for his momma to his daddy’s family.  He knows the deal.  Just do as you’re told, little guy.

Look, we’ve gone over this already.  You screw up and we’re gonna have a little talk, just you and me. Next, off to see Rose, the psychic that predicted Kim would have a son well before Kim met her baby daddy.  Rose says some predictable things that makes me think Kim got ripped off.  It went too far when she told Kim that the moon isn’t made of cheese.

Floyd, can you believe she’s going for this shit? Kroy’s family is getting closer, so the anxiety is ratcheting up and up.  I find it hard to believe, but Kim says she hasn’t had a cigarette in a year.  She needs a cigarette desperately as the wine is clearly having no effect, at least no positive effect.  Luckily, the interior decorator happened to stash ONE cigarette in a kitchen cabinet.  Is that like her signature or something?

Reunited, and it feels so goooood… The look on Kroy’s family is priceless as they scan the home and take in all of their classy family shots.  I feel badly for his folks from Montana.  They seem like genuinely nice people.  I just cannot imagine what is going on inside of their heads.  I’m sure a few “what did we do wrong?” thoughts bounced around during their stay.

Family “Portrait” As much as it boggles the mind trying to figure out how this relationship works, when Kroy’s parents see K.J., their hearts melt and any other issues fade away.  There’s no denying that Kim and Kroy have beautiful kids, so I think everyone is pulling for their marriage to be successful, even if no one understands exactly how the planets needed to align for this to happen.

Mrs. Biermann attempts to teach Kim how to cook beef stroganoff, one of Kroy’s favorite dishes.  This scene…give me a day or two.  I’ll come back to it, I promise.

Jen, her loveable Matron of Honor, accompanies her friend and provides some comfort while Kim gets a non-surgical facelift.  The doctor gives Kim an industrial vibrator to distract her from her procedure.  Seriously.  Jen is very glad she came along and alerts the staff that they need to add batteries to their Staples shopping list.

Kim, I’m not so sure about this doctor? Back at Kim’s home, Shun, her stylist, brings over some outfits for the mothers of the bride and groom.  Kroy’s mother is lovely in the clothes she tries on and seems genuinely appreciative of everyone’s efforts.

On the flip side, Kim’s mother is late and ultimately pulls a diva and tells Kim that instead of coming over, she’d rather that they email her pictures and she’ll let them know which ones she finds agreeable.  A storm is brewing.  Kim should have just given in and let her mom get the white dress with feathers after all.

The bitch knows that I’m Bjork’s Number One Fan! The full recap will be up soon, but in the meantime, please check out my recap of last week’s episode here.

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Red beans and ricely yours, xoxo,

BSL