Drag Race Recap: Lady Dogs and Kitty Cats

Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race: Pride brought out Willam’s slutty side and earned her two challenge wins, Jiggly was a trainwreck, Milan was clueless and Phi Phi pretended she gave a damn who sashayed away.

Portrait of a Queen Not Getting It – Coda: Never Gonna Get It.

It’s a very disco morning in the work room as synthesized flute dance music and various sparkly things welcome the queens. They’re relaxed, although Willam’s disappointed she can’t mop some hangers and Dida isn’t singing about cheesecake, and that’s Kenya’s fault. I didn’t understand it; I just accepted it as a wonder of the RPDR world and now it’s gone. Sharon recaps that Milan’s gone and they’re down to seven while several of the queens read Milan’s parting words, “Colored girl. Why yo’ base look like chalk?” and have a good laugh at it as Chad calls Milan a class act. And clueless though she may have been, she did seem like a good enough egg. Still, never understood what the hell she was doing.

Chad leads Jiggly into talking about lip synching against Milan and if she was nervous but Jiggly says she felt fine because she “knew [she] was good,” and Phi Phi takes a moment to mutter a bitchy “Well…” because a day without Phi Phi being stank is like a day where you don’t have to drive behind a garbage truck on some surface street in LA when all you want to do is get to work. Willam asks if Jiggly thinks she’ll win and when she pauses Phi Phi jumps in to make her feel like shit snapping “That was an awkwardly long pause.” Yes and why does it matter to Phi Phi? Oh, right. Because she’s a bitch.

Jiggly considering the ramifications of CERN possibly disproving the Theory of Relativity.

Editing implies that everyone agrees with Phi Phi so Jiggly can drop an anvil in her interview that the other queens are assuming that, because she’s lip synched twice, that she sucks. Phi Phi continues down her bitch path saying that Jiggly went from a baked potato to a sweet potato so Willam can inform us that sweet potatoes have anti-oxidants. And make really good fries and pies. I might have added the last part. But Willam, you should know that sweet potatoes are good carbs. Avocados are good fat. Jiggly defends her honor and tells Willam to try to do a jump into a split but Willam can’t and Jiggly feels better.

Whatever, the queen’s got SheMail. This week’s puns and references all revolve around magazines, literacy and the internet so, good luck with that Jiggly. I kid…not really. Hello, Hello, Hello! Ru’s here and he’s dapper in a navy three-piece suit and red shirt with white polka dots. It’s the annual reading mini challenge and the Library is Open! Some queens look excited, Jiggly looks skittish and Phi Phi looks deluded that she’s clever enough to come up with anything half as entertaining as “Go back to Party City where you belong,” which still prompted a publicity boon for Sharon when the episode aired. Heh.

This is Ru’s “serious business” suit

First up? Dida Ritz. She says she’s not used to reading, but she nails Latrice with, “You’re free now. You don’t have to rock the yard sandals anymore,” which makes me think she’s more used to it than she’s letting on. Jiggly’s next and, unfortunately, her best joke was the “Forever 21 not Forever 41” from last week. Next up, Phi Phi. And you’d think a bitch like Phi Phi would be good at this, but Phi Phi’s only good at being bitchy in the interviews and you can almost see the Albert Brooks flop sweat beading around her forehead as she tries to make another Party City joke and Sharon fires a better one back. Ha! Phi Phi’s a hack.

Willam calls out Phi Phi’s Shannen Doherty realness by telling her she catches the camera’s eye from the right, but from the left she SNAGS it. Chad makes it a performance and gets all motherly with Jiggly so she can hand her a dentist’s card (heh…especially since Jiggly’s munching on a sour apple Blow Pop). Latrice is all grand dame as she mocks Jiggly, calls Phi Phi an “illiterate fuck” and Sharon a “sideshow freak” and they all laugh. And Sharon closes out the reading by telling Jiggly that she’s such a “fat slut” that “after sex she smokes hams.” Hahahaha.

Don’t fuck with Latrice, fellas. This ain’t her first rodeo.

When they cut out half the reads it’s a little difficult to tell who really did the best, but by my guess I liked Sharon for substance, Latrice for style (and Willam for calling out Phi Phi’s wonky eye) but what did Ru think? She thinks Latrice Royale read the queens the best and she wins the mini challenge.

With that out of the way, it’s time to introduce the main challenge. Ru says he needs the queens to conquer the world of publishing because they’ll be launching their very own dragazines and Sharon’s “the hell” face is amusing because seriously, what? Is this a rebaked Oprah challenge from the first season? But, whatever, here comes Jason and Shawn and this week’s teeny, tiny brief theme is stars. Okay, then.

Weekly gratuitous shot of the Pit Crew

They bring out a board with magazine titles on it and the queens will have to shoot a cover, choose the articles and “really make it their own” because the vaguer the directions the better the chances that Jiggly someone will totally whiff it. As the winner of the mini challenge, Latrice gets to assign the titles and she hands them out as so: She beelines to Battle of the Bulge (health & fitness) and hands it off to Jiggly, Tastes Like Chicken (food) for Dida, Sugar Walls (home décor) for Willam (heh), Kitty Cats (cat lovers) for Sharon who tries to run away from it, Sashay Away (travel) for Phi Phi who “jokingly” asks if Latrice is trying to say something and Latrice “jokingly” says “Please do,” Eleganza (fashion) for Chad Michaels and keeps What’s the T (gossip) for herself.

If you run from the pussycat it will just follow you home.

With the titles assigned it’s time for the gentlemen to start their engines, and may the best woman, win! The workroom is quiet as all the queens are planning their covers and Dida interviews that it’s a difficult challenge because they’ve never done anything like this and it’s going to separate the intellectual people from Jiggly the not so intellectual people, but seriously, editing shows Jiggly sitting next to a bowl of snacks.

Speaking of Jiggly sitting next to a bowl of snacks, her title card is sitting next to the bowl as she plucks out a bag of Cheetos. Heh. Latrice jokes about it, saying the snacks help Jiggly think then laughs that Jiggly has the health & fitness magazine…but is Latrice really the one to laugh at Jiggly? I love Latrice, but let she who is without sin cast the first honey-glazed ham, you know?

Irony, thy name is not Jiggly Caliente

Latrice continues down this path, “casually” asking if Jiggly has any complaints, but Jiggly’s upbeat when she barks out “What the fuck do I know about working out?” Latrice laughs along and says she was helping Jiggly out prompting Jiggly to come over and ask for some advice. She wants to know if she should go serious or funny with her magazine. Chad says it never hurts to be funny and Latrice says she needs to grab the judges’ attention with the headlines and a snake looking vaguely like that other guy from Wham! and wearing stupid glasses slithers up. Oh, no. That’s Phi Phi.

She’s drinking an energy drink and eavesdropping as Jiggly starts feeling insecure.  She thinks she’ll go serious and Chad emphatically says not to because everyone likes to laugh. Phi Phi cuts Chad off to say, in her “reassuring voice,” that if Jiggly “thinks” she can get more going serious that sheshould go with the more consistent route. With Jiggly’s massive well of insecurity filled, Phi Phi walks off so Jiggly can interview that she can’t find the funny in weight loss and is sticking with being serious.

Portrait of a nasty bitch.

Then Phi Phi continues down the snake trail and tells Willam, her bestie, that Jiggly’s doing a serious cover. Willam’s all “the fuck?” and says Jiggly’s humor is “his strongest thing,” and Phi Phi laughs that she encouraged Jiggly to go serious specifically because she knew Jiggly would mess up with a serious approach. As Phi Phi laughs over how awful she is, Willam looks gobsmacked that someone could be such a nasty piece of work. Phi Phi continues in interview that she’s tired of Jiggly and she needs to go but back in the workroom completely avoids eye contact with Willam as she “jokingly” asks Willam if she wants to help Jiggly pack her bags.

Back from break and Dida recaps the challenge while Phi Phi oozes over to find out what Dida’s up to. She, too, is kind of taking the challenge seriously and has a headline about over-salting your meat, but tells Phi Phi she wants to class it up because it could easily go offensive because “a black woman on the cover of a magazine with a title like that,” and Jiggly takes a beat to get the joke. Editing suggests that several queens, including Latrice, find this amusing, but Dida continues that she doesn’t eat chicken or watermelon in public because people are ignorant. Latrice looks like she’s laughing with Dida but says in interview that it’s not that serious because “You’re a dude. In a wig.” Phi Phi hasn’t finished stirring up shit, so she jokes to Dida that Latrice was setting her up but Dida laughs it off.

5 G’s, gurr…5 G’s.

Hello! Hello! Hello! Ru’s here to check in on the queens. First up? Dida Ritz. Ru wants to know how Dida will convey who she is through the headline “Chicken of the Month.” Dida says a lot of things that don’t make much sense, but thinks that only she would think up a headline like “Chicken of the Month” never quite grasping that sometimes being the only one isn’t a good thing. Ru utters a damning “Uh huh…okay,” and Dida says that she’s standing by her idea, even if it means lip synching for her life. With Dida’s heels firmly dug in, it’s time to move on to someone without shame or a soul – Phi Phi O’Hara.

At least you have your looks.

Phi Phi’s laying out her cover and says she’s going with all the most obvious and tired gay stereotypes because she’s creatively bankrupt. At least that’s what I heard. Ru wonders how Phi Phi will combine travel with her aesthetic and Phi Phi says she thinks she’s sexy. Ru’s all “Gurr…” but points out this is very similar to the conversation about Gaga where Phi Phi said she’d “pop.” Phi Phi can’t not argue a point and says her Gaga popped, maybe not in a good way, so it was less champagne and more big zit? That’s the stake you’ve claimed? Ru’s over her so she moves on to Willam.

They exchange pleasantries then Ru calls Willam “Editrix in Chief.” Willam prefers “Editor in Queef” because everyone loves a good, dirty pun. Ru wonders who Willam’s target market is, but one of her headlines is “Feng Shui the F*** Out of Your Boudoir,” so high-end hookers? No, Willam says women…and men. Ru thinks that’s a bit broad. Ru tells Willam she has such a clearly defined aesthetic and that’s what they want to see. Willam takes the note and Ru moves on to Jiggly.

Ru asks if Jiggly was insulted by being assigned the weight loss title and she says she was because she’s done a lot of dumb, dangerous things to lose weight including binging and purging and that weight loss isn’t a joking matter. Meanwhile, Phi Phi, in real time, is eavesdropping to gauge the success of her sabotage. Ru points out that Jiggly has processed other people’s opinions through her humor and that she’s funny and she should use what she does best. Ru literally grabs Jiggly’s shoulder and asks if she hears what Ru’s saying, but Jiggly’s sticking to her guns. Ru knows this is the exact wrong tack to take but lets her make her own mistakes because it’s time to talk to Latrice.

There is no purpose for this photo. It just amuses me.

Ru wants to know how Latrice will make a gossip rag relevant in the 21st century. Latrice is briefly stumped but settles on people will want to read it once they see her on the cover. Ru is a little hesitant and points out that the tabloids all feature photos of stars, not the columnist. Latrice, in interview, suggests a light bulb went off but rather than hem and haw to Ru says she’ll get back to her research department.

So queens, gather round. Tomorrow’s the launch for their dragazines and they’ll be joined by guest judges Pam Tillis, but only Latrice knows who she is, and a favorite actress of Ru’s (and mine) since she was a child on 227, Regina King. Dida is so happy about Regina that she makes blow job face. Willam is also happy about Regina King being a guest judge. He’s a fan of hers because she’s on a show called Southland. Oh wait a minute. Willam was on a show called Southland, too. Heh. Dropping those names, even in interview. And with that, Ru reminds the queens to “don’t fuck it up.”

Willam’s pretty

Time for the photo shoots, with Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris and Dida gets mildly distracted by his waxed chest. Dida’s at a loss and still obsessing over “chicken” but I’m pretty sure she didn’t actually have to make her cover about chicken. She says chicken about 892 more times while holding a tray of fried chicken and they’re done.

Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris

Next up is Sharon, and all she needed to hear was “Kitty Cats” and she went straight for Little Edie. And this is why some people love Sharon. Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris tells Sharon she looks gorgeous and she returns the compliment adding, “Have you done porn?” HA! He says “Not recently,” so Sharon encourages him to consider it. And this is why some more people love Sharon. Her set is has an antique chair, giant scratching post/cat climber and is strewn with yarn balls. Sharon heads right over to the scratching post, which is built to hold a maximum of, like 50 pounds, which isn’t that much less than Sharon weighs, anyway, but the producer tells her she needs to get down. She says she “trusts” herself but when the producer won’t let her stay up there, she just tells him he doesn’t understand fashion and that’s why the rest of us love Sharon.

With that out of the question, Sharon grabs the stuffed kitties to pose in the chair and is simultaneously gorgeous and hilarious. Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris is enjoying the shoot and it goes smoothly. Sharon interviews that she can feel sexy in anything, even a body bag.

Prettier than Drew Barrymore

Unfortunately, all that competence makes for boring television, so it’s time to do Jiggly’s shoot. Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris asks her what her title is…and she doesn’t remember. He’s almost too flummoxed to recite his product placement about “RuPaul’s Iron Fist shoes.” And I love how these plugs are both legit and meta. Jiggly, who is surrounded by three men who, combined, are 10% body fat, max, jokes that this is all the exercise she’ll get in her life then fantasizes that Phi Phi’s there so she can knock her out. Then she pretends to jump rope, landing on the rope with each jump and Shawn can’t not laugh. Klassy! Jiggly’s having fun, but Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris tells us in interview, that he didn’t think she was very comfortable in front of the camera.

Chad’s photo shoot seems rather listless but she interviews about how she’s trying to give the judges a less polished, more avant garde look. This is the look she landed on:

So I’m guessing she doesn’t win this challenge.

Phi Phi’s up next and she’s going for the obvious, with a blonde on the beach look. She’s wearing a swimsuit and says she wants to look like a whore on the cover and whore it up with whore headlines, whore. Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris thinks they’ve got it and Phi Phi goes to look at the photos. She tries to milk a compliment out of Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris, saying she’s the prettiest and he can say it, but he flat out says “I’m not going to.” HAHAHAHAHAHA! Even Jason was all “Oooh, burn,” in the background.  Then, since her ego is bruised, Phi Phi tells Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris to delete a photo because she looks like Sharon in it, but he loved Sharon so he awkwardly giggles and says “Ouch.” The Pit Crew enjoys the joke a lot more.

Latrice’s turn and she doesn’t give a rat’s ass about making it look like gossip. It’s all about her and the Pit Crew on the couch. Hey, I’ve hugged Jason…I get it. She just keeps groping Jason and staring at Shawn and Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris is all “WTF?” because they’re not even looking at him. Maybe it’s all the waxing.

Last, but never least, is Willam. She’s stripping out of her robe and is, duh, naked. Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris is laughing while Shawn’s standing there with a lampshade on his head and Jason’s sneaking peaks. Dirty! Willam says the concept was “stripped down design” and wanted to dress the Pit Crew up as lamps, but their heads were “unprofessional.” Willam’s got a hilarious running commentary as “the diva” going, reminding the Pit Crew to flex so they don’t look puny and telling Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris not to address them because they don’t exist. Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris does manage to say Willam’s a little bitchy, though, so we can have an anvil drop on someone other than Jiggly. Photographer Jonathan Clay Harris tells Willam to come look at the pictures but according to Willam she’s tan, naked and surrounded by boys, so it’s good, then tells them to clean up. And that’s a wrap.

Willam’s dirty pillows.

Runway day and the queens have to prepare their “glossy, glamour looks.” Chad asks how everyone felt about their shoots, and Willam’s happy with hers. Jiggly was happy with hers, too, but Sharon wants to know why she’d go serious with a health and fitness magazine when she was “assigned it to ham it up,” and the room laughs. Jiggly doesn’t seem to think it’s funny and Sharon FINALLY gets her own inadvertent joke. Jiggly thinks she needs to show that there’s more to her than just being a joker because she got a 1240 on her SAT’s. And the fact that she has that factoid at the top of her head and didn’t know what horticulture means or what the Stonewall riots were shows a causal link between the dumbing down of America and teaching to the test.

Even when I’m not trying to be awesome, I’m still awesome.

Bonding and character development time! The queens discuss being bullied while growing up, specifically by family. We already knew about Latrice’s brother, but Jiggly talks about her father bullying her in front of his drinking buddies while telling us in interview that she’d get beaten and made fun of for being gay by her own family, then ends with “If that’s love [she doesn’t] want it,” and so much about Jiggly’s earlier behavior is making sense and I feel like an asshole.

Luckily, Phi Phi’s here to remind me I can always be worse. But not now. She’s still on her Texas Hates the Gays kick which we’ve already debunked, but it segues into Chad getting his dander up about the conservative argument that gay marriage would weaken the institution. Phi Phi says she knows gay people who don’t support it, leading Latrice to get into the argument that she doesn’t think it should be called marriage.

I just found a bucket of shit that needs stirring.

This leads into a brief disagreement where Latrice refuses to hear about how for rights to be equal they have to apply across the full spectrum but Latrice won’t accept that gay and straight marriage are “the same.” I refer Latrice to Plessy v. Ferguson, Brown v. Topeka and Loving v. Virginia to understand why it has to be called marriage to be equal and not something more fabulous. And thus endeth my soap-boxing. Jiggly dials down the heat by joking that she’ll be pissed if Latrice is the first one to get married (forgetting that Willam already is) and Sharon jokes that she fully supports gay divorce and peace in the workroom has been restored.

Just in time because finishing touches and it’s runway time!

Only in Tyra’s dreams

I don’t normally feature the regular judges because, they’re usually Michelle and Santino, but I wanted to get a picture of them in their full glory, to remind everyone that they’re judging other people’s fashion choices:

Remember this during Untucked

Special guest judges are Pam Tillis, who tells Ru she looks like a song and Regina King who wants tips on how to get the “wind in the hair” look and somewhere Tyra’s beating a Jay for Regina’s impudence.

More happy guest judges!

It’s the launch of the dragazines and the queens are glamming it up, so gentlemen start your engines, and may be the best woman, WIN!

Sharon Needles
Regina: Her booty looks awesome in that dress.
RuPaul: Yes. Thank you, Dupont.

Dida Ritz
RuPaul: It’s a strategic walk so a sniper can’t get her.

Chad Michaels
Pam: Where’s her Stratocaster.

Latrice Royale
RuPaul: This is a two-page spread.

Willam
Willam: Fish salad realness with a side of titties.

Jiggly Caliente
Michelle: I love a train.
Regina: (dirty chuckle) I’m gonna leave that alone.

Phi Phi O’Hara
RuPaul: No Photoshop necessary.
vallegirl: Except on her Shannen Doherty eyes.

No disasters on the runway but props to Ru for a good Peter Falk reference (SERPENTINE!) so on to the critiques. First up, Chad Michaels and Eleganza magazine. Chad says it’s a magazine for “drag cougars and the women they love,” but Regina didn’t like it and Santino says it looks like a supermarket circular, but loves her rock & roll look. Chad says they challenged her to dirty it up and Michelle condescendingly bitches that she guesses this is dirty…for Chad. Says the woman with black mold growing on her shoulders.

Dida’s next with Tastes Like Chicken and says it was supposed to represent the women on Food Network. Pam points out that the biggest word on the cover is STOP which is at odds with Dida’s fun look and Michelle likes the black hair but wants more volume to create a different silhouette.

Next is Sharon and Kitty Cats who says she wanted a cat magazine for young hipsters, including the headline “Grooming Breaking the Bank? Shave Your Own Pussy.” Regina gets all growly calling her a dirty bitch and saying she wants to know how many is too many, so Sharon says she’s talking about cats and Regina’s a pervert. Regina agrees, and I think they had a moment, there. But then Regina loses that moment because she doesn’t like the white contacts and says it takes away from the pretty and the glam. Sharon thinks their her trademark but Michelle’s got a stick up her ass and tells her to ditch them, just once, and doesn’t think Sharon will lose her edge without them.

Latrice and What’s the T? is next and she says that if you don’t pick it up for her, you’ll pick it up for the hot guys. No one’s buying it. Ru wants a more cheeky, gossipy looking cover, Regina calls it a club flyer and Michelle just lays it out that she looks like she got some hookers. Heh. Santino also doesn’t like the dress and says it looks like “a couch from Rent-a-Center” and Chloe Dao just threw a shoe at her TV from the flashback. In the middle of Regina telling her she has too much jewelry Latrice’s beaded bracelet breaks. Ru yells out Showgirls but Regina lets her know that already she looks better.

Willam and Sugar Walls. She says that she loves home design and made one of the pillows because she’s “a power bottom like that.” The beat of silence implies mild pearl clutching but Michelle tells Willam she loves the look but not the beard. Willam’s getting a little defensive but they move on to Santino who hates the font, so does Willam, and Pam just tells her it looks like porn. Willam admits it wasn’t his best effort and jokes about having a new staff, but Ru doesn’t sound interested in joking. Ouch.

Jiggly and her misguided Battle of the Bulge. Jiggly claims to have tried to be humorous with the cover, because she’s supposedly boxing Jason but Santino doesn’t believe her. Ru reminds Jiggly that she explicitly told Jiggly to be humorous and Jiggly says she tried by doing plays on words because she doesn’t know jack about fitness, so what would she talk about? How to eat a pound of chicken? Ru says yes, because that’s funny and Jiggly knows she’s screwed.

Phi Phi’s Sashay Away. She’s getting graded on a curve, and they pile on the qualified compliments of “This is the best you’ve ever looked” and “Your makeup is lovely, what happened?” Regina thinks she looks great on the cover and wants to go to there and Michelle points out that Phi Phi’s jackhammer subtlety of highlighting the key words of “Bathhouse” “69” and “Virginity” made her want to read the magazine.

And the queens are dismissed so the judges can be bitches behind their backs. Chad’s runway made up for the cover but Michelle snides that there’s nothing young or hip about Chad. Dida’s middling and cute, but Pam bust some C/W stereotypes saying she doesn’t equate fabulous drag queens with cute because she wants to be devastated. Regina thinks Sharon’s cool and Santino likes the tongue in cheek cover but Michelle mitigates the praise by saying “Did I think it was the best? No.” Bitch.

They gloss over Latrice to let Regina break it down regarding Willam. Missed the mark on what she thinks should have been an easy cover, Willam looked “robotic” on stage and the frozen smile was “a little creepy.” Pam softens the blow saying Willam has a “major attitude” but she likes it. Pam nails Jiggly with two words saying she “self sabotaged” and probably doesn’t think she belongs there and Ru agrees so moving on to Phi Phi. Even though they were all “You’re great” to her face, Regina wonders if her cover was that good or just better than a weak field and Michelle says the blonde cap with the blonde wig made it look like she had a dead lamb on her head. Heh. But silence! Bring back…the girls.

Who wore it better?

Back from break and Phi Phi won the challenge for taking their advice and showing improvement. Her prize? A cruise to the Bahamas. She’s happy about that but Sharon looks about ready to cast a spell. We learn why on Untucked, although who knows when she made that face. Maybe after she farted. Sharon, Dida and Chad are all called safe, leaving Latrice, Willam and Jiggly on stage.

Congratulations! Sharon was within the margin of error so you get “Most Improved!”

Jiggly’s obviously in the bottom two, although it wasn’t obvious to her, and joining her will be Willam. She’s clearly taken aback on stage and says, in interview, that it’s a little scary. They’re lip synching to Mi Vida Loca by Pam Tillis which is a spry little West Coast Swing (I think) melody with some Latin and honky tonk influences. Willam’s using her experience as a singer to perform the song with charm while Jiggly is being a Pointer Sister. Then Willam gives us a spin and flashes the judges because, oops, she forgot her panties since she never thought she’d have to lip synch. Heh.

Tits…and a-ass!

Pam’s applauding them with a rose in her teeth but with three strikes, Jiggly’s out. Willam says she’ll always try to do her best and if she falls short, she’s sorry. Ru tells Jiggly, may she call her Jiggly, that from now on millions of fans will be on a first name basis with her, but it’s time to sashay away. To Jiggly’s credit, and she’s become increasingly more likable over the last few weeks, she handles the elimination with a little melancholy but grace and good humor, saying she thinks her mother would be proud of her, it just didn’t work out. Life goes on. It’s all good.

So long, Jiggly. Now go read a book without pictures.

And what did we learn on Untucked? Sharon will squeak her heels to hide farts, Phi Phi is a sore winner, Latrice doesn’t appreciate being called a couch, Jason eyefucks the camera, Willam will still make jokes even when she’s in a bad mood, Sharon should give all her advice while holding a highball, Jiggly has unresolved issues, Jiggly’s defensiveness makes people aggressive, Phi Phi is a coward and a hypocrite, a sincere apology goes a long way, Jiggly’s familiar with Grey Gardens, and Santino was the mysterious “balding bitch” who needed to take off his hat.

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