Duets: Episode 2 Recap

Recaps

By ApplePie | Monday, June 4, 2012 | 1:54 am | 9 Comments
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Posted in: Duets, Recaps

from Kelly, who tells Sparkle Hawaiian Barbie that she needs to put more soul into her singing instead of worrying about perfect picth.  Jennifer Nettles says nice things, but I read between the lines and she basically called Meleana a glorified lounge singer.  Still, they vote her #1 performance of the night.  Guess I got the star of the underdog story wrong …

Jason Farol is up next with Kelly singing “Whenever You Call”, a duet by Mariah Carey and Bryan McKnight.  Guess what?  Jason’s shy and doesn’t have much confidence.

I’m sensing a pattern here.  Perhaps Kelly should have searched for contestants at a strip club.

I really liked the performance.  I thought Jason’s singing was understated but very good.  The JV Judges make this one interesting:  John L. says Jason’s a fetus and needs to cut the umbilical cord tying him to Kelly.  

Looks like Kelly is carrying Jason to term in her ass.

Robin says Jason’s balls need to drop, and Jennifer offers him some workout advice.  All in all, pretty useless.  What it boils down to is this.  Jason is timid, and having a duet partner who is a vocal powerhouse (even if she’s “trying” to “let Jason shine”) does not help him one bit.  I don’t think Jason will be here in a few weeks.

I bid you a fond, premature farewell, Shy Baby.

Jason ends up in 5th place on the board, just above Robin’s Olivia Chisholm.

J. Rome is up next, with Jennifer Nettles, singing “You’re The One That I Want” from Grease.  Yep, they’re doing it.

And it’s great … more than great.  This guy’s a professional, even if he does look like Jafar from Aladdin with an extra-creepy facial lesion.

J. Rome’s brother from another mother.

It’s my third eye.  Lay off.

Wait … why do they get back-up dancers when no one else did?

Judging:  Kelly says the performance was cool, but the song wasn’t as vocally challenging as last week’s (well, yeah, it was intended for John Travolta to sing … and when’s the last time he put out an album?).  John L.  agrees.  Robin says the performance wasn’t as great as everyone else said, but still great.  JafaRome ends up tied with Meleana for first place.

Last, we have Alexis Foster with Robin, singing “You’re All I Need To Get By”.  Alexis tells us in rehearsal that she has no stage charisma and is sharing the stage with charisma personified.

Piano playing pretty much destroys charisma.

The performance is not really entertaining, but you can definitely hear Alexis’s vocal talent.  I’m not a fan of this one, or Alexis in general.  Judges are in disagreement with each other.  Sugarbush enjoyed it, and was glad they moved from the piano to the front of the stage by the end of the song, because it was more enjoyable from a performance standpoint.  I Am Legend was happy with her vocals, except that she didn’t hold the microphone like a dick, instead she let the microphone head dip down in front of her so he missed some of her low notes.  Kelly didn’t get the intended performance cohesion and thought it felt like two separate solo performances, instead of a duet.  Word!  If Robin doesn’t want to screw you, then you don’t have a chance in hell of making it far on this show, which is the only reason Olivia will survive a few more weeks.

Alexis ends up in 6th place, so the final chart looks like this:

Pretty predictable.

That’s a wrap folks.  Remember, next week, the eliminations begin.  One of the bottom two performers is going home.  Make sure to tune in, ‘cause we’ll be there to make fun of them!

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9 Comments

  1. 1
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 2:50 am

    Ugh. I’m burnt out on singing shows. Unless they’re singing naked with fireworks shooting out their asses, it’s just not worth it. Even if there isn’t anything else on tv.

  2. 2
    lindaw205
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 2:56 am

    I’ve never watched any of the singing shows but you could definitely count me in if they sang with fireworks shooting out of their asses.

  3. 3
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 8:11 am

    @Apple Pie, I actually liked the first episode of this shitfest, but I also think that Robin Thicke is trying to overcompensate since he’s the least famous and the least noteworthy of the four judges (although I’m an R&B fan and I have no clue who Jennifer Nettles even is). I’m just waiting for either him or John to take on Ashford & Simpson’s “Solid” or Patti Labelle and Michael McDonald’s “On My Own,” which are two of my favorite duets of all time.

    I kind of wish there was more about the judging criteria of how they picked the duet partners, rather than the rush job we got in the first episode. Not that I was wondering what Quddus was up to, but it was nice to also see him MC this show. While no Ryan Seacrest, he was at least more personable than X-Factor Steve and less robotic than Carson Daly on “The Voice.”

    I also read somewhere that Lionel Richie was originally signed on to judge, but he had commitment issues with the timing of everything, which is why they have Robin now.

  4. 4
    Jen
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 8:47 am

    Actually, John Legend is the one who took the place of Lionel Richie.

  5. 5
    Nerak
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 10:29 am

    “This guy’s a professional, even if he does look like Jafar from Aladdin with an extra-creepy facial lesion. ” THIS made my entire year.

  6. 6
    Kate Woehrle
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    I agree with Nerak….that comment about J. Rome rocked my world!! Also loved you saying Kelly carried Jason to full term in her ass!! What was she trying to prove in that dress? Granted, I would probably look the same way on TV in that dress, but you wouldn’t catch me wearing it. Black, toots, solid black pants are the answer.

  7. 7
    ApplePie
    Posted June 4, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    Thanks for all the comments! I loved reading them. I can’t wait to see this show crash and burn. Wouldn’t it be AWESOME, though, if this show’s “winner” sold more albums than The Voice and American Idol winners? ABC might actually get some serious ad sales then! Thanks to itchy, we already have a “Fireworks Out Of My Ass” first single title! :0) @Derek, I agree, I enjoyed the first ep and I think Quddus is a better MC than his peers. I don’t know if anyone on the show could do “On My Own” justice. @Kate, at least she wore Spanx! She wore an all-black outfit (including black pants) on the first ep and you’re right, it was better. All those wedge-heeled shoes she wears give her cankles, too. Or maybe her cankles give her cankles …

  8. 8
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted June 5, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    @Apple Pie, still, I’d love to see Robin/Olivia fuck up “On My Own” so bad that they are booed off the show.

  9. 9
    CrazyTrain CrazyTrain
    Posted June 6, 2012 at 11:55 am

    I learned something for Paula… love it.

    This show is eh. We’ll see what happens when they go live.

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