DWTS Week 7 Recap

Recaps

By Hazylazy | Thursday, November 3, 2011 | 1:00 pm | 10 Comments
Posted in: Dancing w/ The Stars, Featured, Recaps

Ah, the Halloween episode.  Full of drama and whanot, I’m sure.  Is Maks trying to be Hugh Jackman now, or is it just me?  We are down to six couples and at least two of them have talent, so it’s bound to be exciting, right?

David and Kym are first with a cha-cha with a magician/vampire theme, so illusionist Todd Karr is going to teach them some stuff and Kym is going to teach him to move his hips.  David, not the illusionist. “Abra Cadabra” is a weird song to cha-cha to, but I know they don’t choose.  Is it just me, or does he remind you of the bad guy in Frosty the Snowman.  Again, David feels the need to shoot something out at the end of the dance, which may or may not be a metaphor for a happy ending.  Len says he’s improved.  Bruno says David is a natural at turning tricks and says something about Carrie Ann being a “naughty pussy” which gets bleeped.  They score a 24.

Magical, it was not.

Magical, it was not.

J.R. and Karina will tango next… to “Ghostbusters.”  He and Karina are at each other’s throats, showing us a much different side from last week.  The dance doesn’t seem to sync up with the music at all and this is really not J.R.’s best dance.  He does, however, shoot something up in the air at the end.  Bruno says it was a solid performance but the timing was off.  Carrie Ann, dressed as a religious cat, loved it.  Len criticizes J.R.’s feet. They score a 25, which is substandard for J.R., but he’ll probably be okay.

Ghostbusting never looked like this.

Ghostbusting never looked like this.

Nancy Grace and a ghostly looking Tristan are next and hoping to get more 9s.  Nancy does a cartwheel in rehearsal and her boob doesn’t escape.  Nancy seems lost at first and Tristan is working really hard to make her look good.  Carrie Ann can’t even like this, which makes me think she hasn’t been into the catnip at least.  Len says the dance doesn’t suit her.  Bruno says her shoes were too small because her footing was bad.  It wasn’t good and I fear Tristan may be headed out soon. They get a 21 and that has to be disappointing.  I like Tristan and hope he gets a better partner next season.

We slowed the playback down, and Nancy did, in fact, clear the floor. Just barely, but still.

We slowed the playback down, and Nancy did, in fact, clear the floor. Just barely, but still.

Rob and Cheryl are next.  Rob has to make a comment about how his family is like the Addams Family.  You know, because Wednesday Addams had a television wedding special and filed for divorce 72 days later.  After watching the films again over the weekend, I’m really missing Raul Julia’s showmanship. K count = 1.  Divorce Count = 1.  Cheryl’s extensions were in the way the whole time.  The judges all liked it and I’m wondering what I’m missing here.  K count = 2.  Rob can’t believe he’s still here, and neither can I.  Really, Karrie Ann?  A 9?  They tie J.R. and Karina with a 25.

Rob is no Raul Julia.

Rob is no Raul Julia.

Ricki and Derek are doing a Little Red Riding Hood Paso Doble and Ricki thinks she may have cracked a rib last week.  She has an inflamed nerve, so they bandage her up and Derek quits shaving in protest.  That’s the only reason I can see for the facial hair anyway.  I have never heard this song before, but my hubby guesses it’s from Twilight or something.  Derek does look glittery.  I wouldn’t guess that Ricki is hurt.  She says she’s “sucked in.”  Bruno calls it a “blizzard of passion and fear,” whatever that means.  Carrie Ann and Len both compliment her shapes and Len gets super-excited about it.  Derek is kind of goofy in the “interview” portion. I like him, too.  They get three 9s and hubby says “really? That’s it?”  I giggle because he is actually getting into this a little.

Derek is glittery enough to be a Cullen.

Derek is glittery enough to be a Cullen.

Hope and Maks are next, but Maks hurt his toe, so someone named Teddy assisted in rehearsal.  Hope and Teddy seem to have a great time.  Clearly, she gets along better with Teddy and all I can think about during their dance is how much fun she seemed to be having with the other dancer.  Truthfully, Maks kind of tosses her around the stage and she apologizes to Maks at the end of the dance.  Carrie Ann says she seemed to be having a lot of fun and Len says she coped well with a difficult partner… err, a difficult dance.  He also proceeds to compliment the hair, make-up, and costuming departments.  But not her partner.  Brooke asks how the practice went.  Hope speaks of Teddy with wistfulness and they get a 24.  Brooke asks Maks how he feels about the dance and he answers “great.”  Yeah, Maks… you should probably keep your mouth shut this week.

This was way more fun with Teddy.

This was way more fun with Teddy.

Next we have some team dances. Team Tango, which consists of J.R., Nancy, David and their partners.  Is it just me, or does Nancy look WAY better with long hair.  Len liked the group portions, but all three judges agree that the individual portions were rough.  They wind up with a 23 as a team.

This dance was definitely disturbing.

This dance was definitely disturbing.

Team Paso Doble, which consists of Ricki, Hope, and Rob are closing out the show.  Maks and Derek increase Rob’s “sexual confidence” and I’m a little worried about the implications of that.  Hope and Maks seem to be the weak link here and the other celebrities and dancers are clearly uncomfortable with how things are going.  Maks and Hope are at each other’s throats in a way that makes everyone look around at each other awkwardly.  Rob talks about the tension.  Maks even storms out of the rehearsal at one point and Derek teaches Hope the dance.  I’m wishing Teddy would step in here.  The dance goes remarkably well.  Bruno calls it powerful.  Karrie Ann practically orgasms.  Len liked it, too.  They get a 26.

Ricki leads her team to victory.

Ricki leads her team to victory.

So my guess for the bottom is Nancy and Tristan along with David and Kym.  I would have put Hope and Maks there, but they pulled off a decent Paso, so they are probably safe.  The abusive relationship between Hope and Maks may just get her enough sympathy to get her through a few more weeks.

Religious Kitty Kardashian.

Religious Kitty Kardashian.

RESULTS SHOW:

OMG! It’s Justin Bieber!  I’ve never actually listened to a full Justin Bieber song, having no female children, and I’m not starting now.  Fast forward.  Carson is now interviewing the crowd because they apparently can’t get rid of him and he needs something to do.  He interviews Jason Biggs, Bruce Jenner (K count = 1), and David’s daughter.  Then he talks to the judges.  Carson ends his segment with “back to you Tom and …. Brooke.”  Maybe they should ditch Brooke and hire Carson.  Let’s get those wheel in motion, folks.  I don’t think he’ll leave, so he might as well take her job.

They reprise the Paso and then we get to find out if these dancers are safe.  First are Rob and Cheryl.  She keeps screaming “Intense” at him and Bruno tells him to tuck in his huge Kardashian ass.  We also get a reminder of how atrocious Nancy’s dance was.  The first couple in the bottom two is Nancy and Tristan.  Rob and Cheryl are safe.  There is a lot of hugging and giggling.

Tristan is totally charming in his Irishness.

Tristan is totally charming in his Irishness.

There is some inspirational dance story/filler and then we get to find out if J.R. and Karina are safe.  J.R. knew it wasn’t his best dance, but he is super hard on himself.  Ricki and Derek are up, too.  Derek also has an impressive howl.  My guess is that they will both be safe and they are.

Justin Bieber performs next and I have to convince my hubby that Bobbi Brown was never in Boys II Men.  Oh, it’s a Christmas song, too.  The first line is that “this is the time of year to give it, give it, give it all.”  Justin knows about that, right?  Oh… snap, paternity scandal.

Hope and Maks and David and Kym are next.  Maks says “great” some more and it’s revealed that Hope and Maks are safe, which means more abusive rehearsals or Hope will make damn sure Maks “toe injury” doesn’t get better and Teddy takes his place.  Nancy and Tristan had lower scores, but you bitches love the Tristan.  And in the seventh week of competition, we say goodbye to David and Kym.

So we have at least one more week of Tristan’s hotness and one more week of Maks’ arrogance.  David Arquette says it must be a mistake because “this is my show.”  Love the parting shot.  On Monday the couples dance two times, so it’s fun and twice the torture.

About

Hazylazy has been described as "an English professor who watches a lot of trash" and this could not be more accurate.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    wcsdancer
    Posted November 3, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    I have to stick up for my guy Maksim. There’s no doubt that he’s really a taskmaster and pushes his partners too hard, but Hope is a Olympic athlete and should be used to coaches being that way. She really doesn’t seem to be trying that hard. I also think (conspiracy theory here) that the producers are showing only the negative footage of Maks and Hope, while making sure their Golden Boy Derek comes off all sweetness and light. Hope shouldn’t win based solely on her dancing, but the judges have consistently overscored Ricki and Derek and underscoring JR and Karina.

    I like Tristan but you could totally make a drinking game based on the number of times he sticks his tongue out.

  2. 2
    2muchbravo
    Posted November 3, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    I did think Hope and Teddy were cute giggling in the corner. She seemed to learn okay with Maks directing them. Not a big Derek fan but I think Ricki’s doing a good job. Of course, I don’t hate her like I did Nicole “I’m not a dancer” Scherzinger. The scoring is farked all over the place so it’s really a crap shoot. I hope Kardashiass is gone soon, though. And, the little Tristan can stick his tongue anywhere he wants! He and Nancy had a really crappy song IMO. But she shoulda gone before David. Loved the paso group dance!

  3. 3
    ChaCha
    Posted November 3, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    Everyone should be scored ONLY on their dancing. It’s called DANCING with the Stars, not Rehearsals with the Stars, not Schmoozing with Brook. Only the dancing should be judged and voted on. Fat chance that that’ll happen anytime soon on this show.

  4. 4
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted November 3, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    I’ll miss David and Kym so freaking much, but thank goodness Tristan was spared. Nancy better understand that his gorgeous face and charming ways are the only reason that she’s still here.

    I felt really bad for JR and Karina this week. Her dress was molting all over the dance floor and the whole thing was a mess. And then to get slammed again in the group dance must have been really demoralizing. I hope his confidence isn’t too shaken up so he can fight back and beat Ricki into the ground.

    Derek Hough is seriously growing on me. First few weeks, I wasn’t a fan, but I agree that he’s kind of a big dork and I love the dorks.

    Last, I’m fine with Maks not being nice to Hope or being nice in general because I feel like she isn’t taking the competition seriously anyway. And I’m guessing that the way he teaches Hope is also the way he was taught. It’s uncomfortable to watch, but it clearly gets results because Maks is a fabulous dancer. If Hope paid attention and actually practiced, she’d be better than she is. I think the judges were really generous to her this week too with the scoring, because it looked a mess to me and her fear showed all over her face. Probably they didn’t want to get yelled at by Maks again.

    Rob did a great great job this week. I was so amazed! Lmao that he becomes this amazingly confident dancer as soon as Kim’s life falls to shambles. Coincidence? I think not.
    But seriously, his ass is huge. I need to get in on some of those Kardashian ass genes.

    Also, you’ve never heard Beyonce’s Sweet Dreams? How? Tell me…tell me your secrets, for I cannot escape her siren song. :(

  5. 5
    Robin Robinez
    Posted November 3, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    Thanks for another great recap HazyLazy.

    I was not pleased with David’s elimination. Yes, Nancy Grace has improved weekly, but so had David and he was so much more fun to watch. On the dance floor and off.

    While I think Tristan is adorable, kinda like the way a pup looks adorable when he is hanging his head out of the window of a moving car with his tongue hanging out; I don’t think he is the reason that Nancy is still there.

    I used to watch her show when the Casey Anthony trial was on. Those fans of hers are cult like I tell you. She can do no wrong. “I Love You Nancy” before every conversation..”You do so much for everyone” usually shows up too.

    Also, she is afforded the opportunity to go on tv every night and beg for votes. Another thing, I watch Mornings with Robin Meade on HLN and because they are a sister station to NG show, they give updates on her progress and also make a point to say that all proceeds that NG makes from the show will go to The Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

    At least the Chaz voters saw how shitty he did and didn’t feed into the madness. He sucked that week, they knew it. The end.

    Those Nancyites would vote for her even if she fell out in the middle of the dance and was carried away.

    Rob is making me like him. I think this is the first time in his life he has been able to be himself without a script talking for him. Yes, he is still on camera doing it, they are all attention whores.. where else was he going to “find” himself? He came by it honest.

  6. 6
    Pikey
    Posted November 4, 2011 at 7:33 am

    I am saddened by how tptb are manipulating this for Ricki to win. She is not really dancing that well – Derek is a master at hiding his partners faults with costuming and dancing around her to draw the viewers eyes away from her faults. The Team Paso dance was an excellent example of how to make a bad dance look good – the smoke hid the dancers feet, both Ricki and Hope were dragged around by their partners and Rob was frankenstomping all over the place. It really was not a good paso at all!

    Carson was very funny – especially when he “forgot” Brooke’s name! I would love to see him take her place next year.

    What the heck was Chaz doing there backstage? Has he decided to never leave as well?

    I loved David (even though he would never have won) and think that he should have stayed longer than Hope, Nancy and Rob. His spirit and sense of fun was brilliant! I loved his “This is MY show” at the end. Also loved JR’s singing “Never say never” (better sung than Bieber).

  7. 7
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted November 4, 2011 at 9:31 am

    Aw, Raul Julia. I don’t think a pro dancer could touch him in bringing the creepy sexy of Gomez Addams. When I was really little there was a Broadway revival of “Three Penny Opera” with Julia as MacHeath. The commercials just featured him tangoing with whomever played Jenny Brown. I was waaaay too young to “get it” but he terrified me at the time. As an adult Julia made so much more sense. (Supposedly he was fired from Sesame Street after the limited run pilot season because he scared the kids but made the moms happy.)

    So here’s a video of him from the 1989 movie. Because that man was hotter just walking than Maks is prancing around shirtless.

  8. 8
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted November 4, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    Team Tristan! Anyone who can teach a pig to dance deserves the win in my book! And, he can show me his tongue any time…

  9. 9
    2muchbravo
    Posted November 5, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    Wow Enrique that’s harsh! Nancy’s not a willow branch but give her a break she’s done better than some of the clumsier skinny girls who’ve been on there. Not that I don’t their past their sell-by date.

  10. 10
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted November 5, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    I wasn’t talking about her weight, 2muchbravo. I think the woman is a disgusting pig on her show.

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