Ah, the Halloween episode. Full of drama and whanot, I’m sure. Is Maks trying to be Hugh Jackman now, or is it just me? We are down to six couples and at least two of them have talent, so it’s bound to be exciting, right?
David and Kym are first with a cha-cha with a magician/vampire theme, so illusionist Todd Karr is going to teach them some stuff and Kym is going to teach him to move his hips. David, not the illusionist. “Abra Cadabra” is a weird song to cha-cha to, but I know they don’t choose. Is it just me, or does he remind you of the bad guy in Frosty the Snowman. Again, David feels the need to shoot something out at the end of the dance, which may or may not be a metaphor for a happy ending. Len says he’s improved. Bruno says David is a natural at turning tricks and says something about Carrie Ann being a “naughty pussy” which gets bleeped. They score a 24.
Magical, it was not.
J.R. and Karina will tango next… to “Ghostbusters.” He and Karina are at each other’s throats, showing us a much different side from last week. The dance doesn’t seem to sync up with the music at all and this is really not J.R.’s best dance. He does, however, shoot something up in the air at the end. Bruno says it was a solid performance but the timing was off. Carrie Ann, dressed as a religious cat, loved it. Len criticizes J.R.’s feet. They score a 25, which is substandard for J.R., but he’ll probably be okay.
Ghostbusting never looked like this.
Nancy Grace and a ghostly looking Tristan are next and hoping to get more 9s. Nancy does a cartwheel in rehearsal and her boob doesn’t escape. Nancy seems lost at first and Tristan is working really hard to make her look good. Carrie Ann can’t even like this, which makes me think she hasn’t been into the catnip at least. Len says the dance doesn’t suit her. Bruno says her shoes were too small because her footing was bad. It wasn’t good and I fear Tristan may be headed out soon. They get a 21 and that has to be disappointing. I like Tristan and hope he gets a better partner next season.
We slowed the playback down, and Nancy did, in fact, clear the floor. Just barely, but still.
Rob and Cheryl are next. Rob has to make a comment about how his family is like the Addams Family. You know, because Wednesday Addams had a television wedding special and filed for divorce 72 days later. After watching the films again over the weekend, I’m really missing Raul Julia’s showmanship. K count = 1. Divorce Count = 1. Cheryl’s extensions were in the way the whole time. The judges all liked it and I’m wondering what I’m missing here. K count = 2. Rob can’t believe he’s still here, and neither can I. Really, Karrie Ann? A 9? They tie J.R. and Karina with a 25.
Rob is no Raul Julia.
Ricki and Derek are doing a Little Red Riding Hood Paso Doble and Ricki thinks she may have cracked a rib last week. She has an inflamed nerve, so they bandage her up and Derek quits shaving in protest. That’s the only reason I can see for the facial hair anyway. I have never heard this song before, but my hubby guesses it’s from Twilight or something. Derek does look glittery. I wouldn’t guess that Ricki is hurt. She says she’s “sucked in.” Bruno calls it a “blizzard of passion and fear,” whatever that means. Carrie Ann and Len both compliment her shapes and Len gets super-excited about it. Derek is kind of goofy in the “interview” portion. I like him, too. They get three 9s and hubby says “really? That’s it?” I giggle because he is actually getting into this a little.
Derek is glittery enough to be a Cullen.
Hope and Maks are next, but Maks hurt his toe, so someone named Teddy assisted in rehearsal. Hope and Teddy seem to have a great time. Clearly, she gets along better with Teddy and all I can think about during their dance is how much fun she seemed to be having with the other dancer. Truthfully, Maks kind of tosses her around the stage and she apologizes to Maks at the end of the dance. Carrie Ann says she seemed to be having a lot of fun and Len says she coped well with a difficult partner… err, a difficult dance. He also proceeds to compliment the hair, make-up, and costuming departments. But not her partner. Brooke asks how the practice went. Hope speaks of Teddy with wistfulness and they get a 24. Brooke asks Maks how he feels about the dance and he answers “great.” Yeah, Maks… you should probably keep your mouth shut this week.
This was way more fun with Teddy.
Next we have some team dances. Team Tango, which consists of J.R., Nancy, David and their partners. Is it just me, or does Nancy look WAY better with long hair. Len liked the group portions, but all three judges agree that the individual portions were rough. They wind up with a 23 as a team.
This dance was definitely disturbing.
Team Paso Doble, which consists of Ricki, Hope, and Rob are closing out the show. Maks and Derek increase Rob’s “sexual confidence” and I’m a little worried about the implications of that. Hope and Maks seem to be the weak link here and the other celebrities and dancers are clearly uncomfortable with how things are going. Maks and Hope are at each other’s throats in a way that makes everyone look around at each other awkwardly. Rob talks about the tension. Maks even storms out of the rehearsal at one point and Derek teaches Hope the dance. I’m wishing Teddy would step in here. The dance goes remarkably well. Bruno calls it powerful. Karrie Ann practically orgasms. Len liked it, too. They get a 26.
Ricki leads her team to victory.
So my guess for the bottom is Nancy and Tristan along with David and Kym. I would have put Hope and Maks there, but they pulled off a decent Paso, so they are probably safe. The abusive relationship between Hope and Maks may just get her enough sympathy to get her through a few more weeks.
Religious Kitty Kardashian.
OMG! It’s Justin Bieber! I’ve never actually listened to a full Justin Bieber song, having no female children, and I’m not starting now. Fast forward. Carson is now interviewing the crowd because they apparently can’t get rid of him and he needs something to do. He interviews Jason Biggs, Bruce Jenner (K count = 1), and David’s daughter. Then he talks to the judges. Carson ends his segment with “back to you Tom and …. Brooke.” Maybe they should ditch Brooke and hire Carson. Let’s get those wheel in motion, folks. I don’t think he’ll leave, so he might as well take her job.
They reprise the Paso and then we get to find out if these dancers are safe. First are Rob and Cheryl. She keeps screaming “Intense” at him and Bruno tells him to tuck in his huge Kardashian ass. We also get a reminder of how atrocious Nancy’s dance was. The first couple in the bottom two is Nancy and Tristan. Rob and Cheryl are safe. There is a lot of hugging and giggling.
Tristan is totally charming in his Irishness.
There is some inspirational dance story/filler and then we get to find out if J.R. and Karina are safe. J.R. knew it wasn’t his best dance, but he is super hard on himself. Ricki and Derek are up, too. Derek also has an impressive howl. My guess is that they will both be safe and they are.
Justin Bieber performs next and I have to convince my hubby that Bobbi Brown was never in Boys II Men. Oh, it’s a Christmas song, too. The first line is that “this is the time of year to give it, give it, give it all.” Justin knows about that, right? Oh… snap, paternity scandal.
Hope and Maks and David and Kym are next. Maks says “great” some more and it’s revealed that Hope and Maks are safe, which means more abusive rehearsals or Hope will make damn sure Maks “toe injury” doesn’t get better and Teddy takes his place. Nancy and Tristan had lower scores, but you bitches love the Tristan. And in the seventh week of competition, we say goodbye to David and Kym.
So we have at least one more week of Tristan’s hotness and one more week of Maks’ arrogance. David Arquette says it must be a mistake because “this is my show.” Love the parting shot. On Monday the couples dance two times, so it’s fun and twice the torture.