Hello, Gasmii people! Art thou ready for a recap? Pip pip hooray, let’s look sharpish and get right to it!
Thanks for everyone’s great comments on the Minicap. I thought about recapping the Jubilee, but I have no snark at all for the Queen. Love her!! I feel like she’s my queen though I’m an American (albeit from British stock). Quite fond of the Duke as well.
That said, I felt the Queenwanted to make a couple of observations:
60 years of service and I’m stuck sitting next to Charles’ bit on the side? Oy.
The second I’m dead Camilla is going to be all over my jewelry like white on rice. OK, steady on, old girl. Keep waving.
It’s so good to be Queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!! Take that, Diana!
I’m going to beat Victoria’s record and then they’ll put a big statue of ME in the Mall!
And now back to the Jubilee’s complete opposite!
We open in NYC, where Shparkle and Heather are looking for apartments. Considering what Eden’s not pulling in, they would be better off looking in Queens. Or Brooklyn. Or Jersey. Or Arkansas. Do they actually think Eden’s “career” is going to take off so massively that they will need to base themselves in NYC? Not LA, where perhaps she couldget work, albeit only sporadically and as a curiosity, but work nonetheless. New York is for serious actors and such – folks with real, demonstrable, employable talent. So Eden is ruled right out. But yeah, Shparkle, let’s squander what little Eden brings in.
Ah’m sure we kin git someone who is workin’ only for Eeeden.
In the Minicap comments, folks mentioned an interview with Shparkle where she said she had money put away for Eden’s college education. If she has any money put away (highly doubtful), it’s likely for a communitycollege. Nothing against community colleges, but there’s no way that Shparkle’s saving for – or Eden is going to get into – Yale. Or any reputable 4-year college for that matter. Or, as folks have pointed out, any institute of learning that requires their students to be, oh literate. ‘Cause as far as I know, there are no picture book colleges.
Pop-Up Book College: Enrollment of 1
Heather is concerned that Andrew is building a “whole roster of pageant clients” (later revealed to be one – 1! – girl). Shparkle, alarmed, says Andrew is supposed to be doing everything he can to make Eden a star.
Are neither of these “pros” aware that agents, publicists, managers and the like routinely have multiple clients? They can’t make money working just for one client, unless perhaps that client is an A-List star – not someone like Eden who’s on the E-List (Ha! I just made that up!) Plus, I believe agents and such often specialize, so that they build expertise in one area of entertainment which is used for all their clients. So Andrew allegedly having a “roster”? Normal and totally nothing to be concerned about. Except for Heather, who says that’s a conflict of interest. Interesting coming from someone who, as Minicap commenters mentioned, tries to sell herself to pageant gals who are not Eden.
Now we go to a skating rink in Paducah, Kentucky. We meet Isabelle, age 9. She and her mother sit down with the E-Team and Shparkle asks what she needs. Isabelle says she sometimes forgets her routines. Eden pipes up to say that if Isabelle forgets “smile, pretty eyes (as opposed to what, flat dead eyes?), keep on going, turn, do whatever you have to do to make up”. Remembering the routine might be a bit easier.
Shparkle asks Isabelle’s mother what the family thinks, how involved they are. Mom says her mother is “no longer around”, and I’m not sure if she means deceased or just living elsewhere. This weekend, at the pageant, Isabelle will be meeting her paternal grandmother for the first time. Sounds like Dad’s out of the picture too. Oh, we then learn that Mom’s mother died at 43, which makes Mom cry. That’s awful and all, but did she just die a few weeks ago or years ago? I mean, get a grip.