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“Can’t you see?”
“You’re doing hair and makeup”.
Cutabitch shares Andrew has done more than enough to get fired. He’s definitely done enough to be held in a drunk tank, that’s for sure.
Andrew starts to say something else, and Mom steps in (Belle is in the chair getting the Cutabitch Treatment), telling him to go and “finish this when my daughter’s done. You’re in my daughter’s space”.
“Then you can tell her [Cutabitch] to shut her big mouth”.
“I would like for you to leave”.
Cutabitch: “You came to our area”.
Mom: You’re not welcome here. She [Belle] is 9 years old”.
Andrew: “She looks like she’s 25″. And then he slams out the door.
I’m now convinced Andrew has become a friend of Jim and Jack as well. There’s no way a sober (or sane) person would do this. Yes, he hates Cutabitch. We all do. But we don’t go picking fights with her either. And as for fake? Honey, really? Don’t tell us your scruples finally got the better of you.
We get that you’re profoundly hurt by the smackdowns. You have 2 choices and only 2: quit working with the E-Team, or STFU. Don’t upset little girls who are going to be in the pageant.
We then see some of the pageant, including what was probably meant as a salute to Native Americans gone horribly wrong.
Andrew is, meanwhile, complaining to Shparkle, saying someone needs to tell Cutabitch to shut her mouth. Shparkle says “basically (Basically? Either they do or they don’t. If you sign their paycheck, they do) you all work for me. If we’re going to have this kind of problems then maybe I just need a clean slate and start over”. Oh Shparkle, if only you meant that. But you just mean Andrew. The harpy and the slag, you’re keeping them.
When Shparkle talks, it’s like she heard some people talking, didn’t understand what they were saying, and just parrots what she heard. Her statements make no sense, even factoring in her constant drunken state. They’re just words strung together with no syntax, no meaning. She clearly doesn’t really understand what common English words mean. That says a lot for her teaching ability – oh wait, her one pupil is completely ignorant and illiterate. Right.
Backstage, everyone is saying mmm or maybe ommm or hmmm.
Shparkle says it’s Belle’s day to shine and do it on her own. Out to the jampacked pageant room – at least 10 people! We see Debbie, Belle’s absentee grandmother, in the audience. Mom starts modeling Belle’s routine, and Shparkle tells her to “let her take it from here”. Belle does a sign language interpretation of Amazing Grace. People are crying. It is totally amazing, and I say that without a shred of sarcasm. It’s one of the best and most unusual talent routines I’ve ever seen.
Back to the pageant, and Belle not surprisingly wins talent. Although her hair has this – thing- hanging down from it. Is that the “human hair” Cutabitch was talking about earlier? Is it a piece that’s supposed to be up but fell down? Whatever, it looks distinctly odd.
Mickie and Eden give out the crowns. Then Belle and Debbie have a reunion. Well, not a reunion, a meeting. Apparently Debbie was around 8 years ago, so Belle wouldn’t remember her. Debbie has one hell of a Snookie Bump-It going on. Perhaps that’s her homage to pageant hair?
The E-Team returns to NYC – this ep is longer than the Diamond Jubilee Flotilla and that was 4 1/2 hours! – to a book-signing Andrew set up. This is of course for Eden’s autobiography which is a self-published book of photos. And not a new “book” for that matter. Question: how is Eden supposed to sign when she can’t read and write? Does she just do an “x”?