Face Off Recap: Are You Afraid of the Phobias?

Sorry for the delay on this ‘cap! But did you hear Face Off got renewed for a third season? Yay for life’s small pleasures.

Also, thanks to everyone for filling me in on who host Mackenzie is. I guess she’s pretty qualified to host a special FX make up show. More than China Chow is qualified to host Work of Art, anyway.

So, on to the show!

In the preview, we learn that we are going to be treated to the show’s “most disturbing challenge yet.” Man, they really love overblown superlatives on this show, don’t they?

It’s nighttime. People are sleeping bathed in the warm green glow of night vision cameras. Then this happens:

 When a stranger calls. Or leaves you their phone.

 The voice that they use for Steven Hawking on Family Guy calls LaBrea and tells her she has 15 minutes to wake the others and leave the house for the spotlight challenge! She grudgingly wakes everyone up, unfortunately not by dumping buckets of water on them (lord knows Jerry could use a shower).

So I wonder, what happens if they actually don’t do it? If they’re not out in time? I guess the producers would step in and force them, but it would be pretty funny to see them dragged out in their underwear or something.

They go to an abandoned hospital, and Anal Asian Sue is very creeped out.

Mackenzie is there waiting for them in the dark, and she tells us it’s one of the most haunted hospitals in America (there go those superlatives again). How many haunted hospitals can there really be in America (not counting the ones set up for Halloween)?

The challenge: They have to create their own horror villain. Ooh, this was a good challenge last year, I have high hopes.

Then a bunch of phobias appear written on the walls. Ian, being the innocent corn-fed Iowa boy he is, doesn’t know what most of them are.

Cryophobia? That’s fear of sad people, right?

Mackenzie says the phobias are all very disturbing. But you know one I’m glad I don’t see there? Trypophobia. There is no phobia more disturbing than that one. I dare you to Google images of it. Seriously, I dare you.

…

Okay, are you done washing your eyes with bleach now? Good, we can continue.

They pick their phobias and their makeups will have to reflect the fear.

(Mackenzie only tells us what a few are, because apparently the show unfortunately assumes we are all smarter than Ian, so I had to Google most of these).

Anal Asian- hadephobia- fear of hell

Her reaction doesn’t disappoint.

 Just swallow, honey. The taste will go away soon.

Beki- parasitophobia- parasites

Tara- ommetaphobia- eyes

Heather- ornithophobia- birds

Rayce- cryophobia- ice or frost

Ian- odontophobia- teeth

RJ- xyrophobia- razors

Mail Order Britney- merinthophobia- bound or tied up

 I think I’d be more scared of this weirdo tying me up

 Emo Matt- xerophobia- dryness

Jerry- electrophobia- electricity

LaBrea- chemophobia- chemicals

They’re left alone to sketch in the dark, then they have to go start work. It’s also 3 AM, remember. Remember what I said last week about this show really being Make Up Auschwitz? I may have not been far off…

Anal Asian is making a demon (duh), Ian designs a warped tooth fairy, and MOB whispers that her idea is a girl who was raped when she was young and now she ties men up and kills them.

 Someone’s got some S & M fantasies going on… 

RJ sketches a mad doctor, and Tara struggles.

Everyone (including me) is glad that it’s finally the first individual challenge. No more of this team bullshit. Beki describes what she’s making as a “gigantic, beautiful parasite.” She’s probably basing it off one of the many of them living in her hair.

LaBrea is happy because she is used to make ups with chemicals, Heather’s villain has birds in him, Emo Matt designs a villain with psoriasis. Rayce’s guy will look frostbitten, Tara decides on an Egyptian inspiration.

Tom Savini is the guest judge, who we’re told is a big deal. We see that Beki works fast. Bully for her.

MOB is apparently going for a “Hit Me Baby…” Britney vibe. I don’t know why, that’s what it makes me think of.

 She’s trying to give them the hint… “hit me baby, come on, harder!”

Jerry is making a crazed psychiatrist obsessed with electroshock therapy, and Beki finishes early and decides to help others. Hmmm, that’s nice. Maybe some of her dreadlock parasites have finally taken over her brain.

At the house, we see that LaBrea doesn’t like Beki, and that she is very confident with her work. I see the little alliances now- Emo Matt, LaBrea, and Anal Asian are a group, with Beki, Jerry, and RJ on the other side. One of those groups is highly preferable to the other. Heather, Ian, and Rayce probs just keep to themselves (maybe they’re smartest of all).

When covering up her model’s chest, Beki refers to her fun bags as “breasticles.” Like, because nipples get hard when it’s cold, or “nippy?” I don’t really get where she’d get that otherwise.

 I don’t even know what to say about this. 

Ian decides to Saran Wrap his model’s chest to provide texture.

 And he’ll stay fresh for up to a week in the fridge! 

Jerry decides to run a new face last minute, then pulls out his “I’ve been doing this for 20 years.” card when people are concerned. Well guess what, you’ve been in the bottom every time, oh Wise One. And wait for it…Oh look, the new face failed and he had to use the original one. Jerry, don’t ever change.

RESULTS TIME

I love that when Mackenzie introduces guest judge Savini Ian makes this “I have no idea who you are but I’ll clap politely” face.

 His “I have no idea who you are but I’ll clap politely” face

So here are the monsters:

Sue- hadephobia (hell). Inspired by the Pokemon Cubone

Ian- odontophobia (teeth).

Jerry- electrophobia (electricity)

Emo Matt- xerophobia (dryness)

Beki- parasitophobia (parasite)

Heather- ornithophobia (birds). Also inspired by Cubone!

Another look at Heather’s. This is what I imagine the people in the sequel to The Birds would look like.

RJ- xyrophobia (razors).

Rayce- cryophobia (ice/frost)

LaBrea- chemophobia. A chemically induced disaster.

Mail Order Britney- merinthophobia (tied up). 

Tara- ommetaphobia (eyes)

MOB says she thinks her model looks “strong, sexy, and really freaky.” I think she confused the point of this challenge: it wasn’t to create your ideal romantic partner.

Beki, Ian, Rayce, MOB, Jerry, LaBrea are the best and worst. Everyone else be safe.

Turns out Ian’s model had an allergic reaction and had to leave, but they’ll use a picture for reference. Man, I can’t believe all these pansy ass models, passing out and getting hives and whatever. Suck it up and do your jobs!

The judges love Beki’s. Well she had a lot of inspiration living nearby, so I’m not surprised. Rayce had bad edges and application but they really liked the design. MOB’s is not scary and has some big mistakes.

The Bondage Girl and the (knock-off) Bond Girl

Jerry- they say he spent more time on the flashing lights than on the makeup. In other words, EPIC FAIL. LaBrea- the teeth are all messed up and it’s too cutesy. It’s strange that a decomposing face could be cute, but then again, this is Face Off. Anything is possible. LaBrea says she’s in shock because she feels she made something you don’t want to come across in a dark alley. Well, Jerry fits that description too, but it doesn’t mean he’ll be getting awards for it any time soon.

They like Ian’s a lot. They like the Saran wrap, the fingers, the design, and the paint.

So now, I think it’s pretty obvious Beki won. Hopefully Jerry lost, after being in the bottom EVERY TIME so far.

And…Oh wow, I was wrong. Ian won! That’s nice for the newbie. I guess once he shook that loser Miranda his true skills appeared.

And the one going home is…LaBrea. Aw, man. Well, her’s was pretty bad. Jerry, I’ll get you yet! There’s always next week for you to be on bottom!

So what did you think? Did the right person win/go home? How does Jerry keep skating by? Comment away!

Thanks for reading! See you soon!

<3 L-Money

To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter or like our Facebook page! You can post your favorite lines right back at us.