This is it, the final stretch! I’m going to give a brief recap of episode 9, and then go on to the finale! Hopefully it will be a bit more exciting than the most recent episodes.
Only Emo Matt, Anal Asian Sue, RJ, and Ian, and Rayce are left now. The gist of this one is that the artists have to make human-dinosaur hybrids, with fabricated elements strongly encouraged.
I just hope whatever they come up with is less creepy than these damn things that gave me nightmares as a child.
1- Why is the baby while everyone else is green? 2- Why does he look like Jabba the Hut? 3- Just whyyyy?
They get their ideas from a museum with dino bones and then go back to come up with their ideas. RJ decides to turn a velociraptor into a “veloci-rapper.” More like “veloci-crapper,” amirite? But then again, seeing other peoples’ ideas makes it not quite as crazy.
Constance and Cleve Hall, the stars of SyFy’s new show Monster Man (they really love cross-promotion on this channel, huh? Maybe because they have a viewership of 15) stop by. They are master fabricators apparently, but all I see is a guy who looks like he’s wearing bad special effects makeup from this show.
Monster man is right
Remember, there are five people now, but two will be leaving after this challenge and three will go to the finale. They changed it up from last year, when I believe there were four finalists (feel free to correct me on that one).
Here’s what they come up with:
Anal Asian Sue- Tianyulong. Love how she chose the only Asian dinosaur
Emo Matt- Carnotaurus. Also known as the Gladiator Demon
Rayce- corythosaurus (looks more like an alien to me)
RJ’s is pretty successful. Emo Matt- Ve likes it, but they say he missed the dino thing a bit. They wish he didn’t have the chest plate. Ian- everyone likes it, and they say it’s pretty realistic. I kind of want him to do well because of his cute kitty shirt. I’m kind of a cat nut, get over it.
Rayce- good profile, they love the paint job and the tail. Anal Asian tells them she made a hipster girl power dinosaur version of herself. Glenn says it’s a little too vibrant, but Ve likes it because it’s girliness. Anal Asian and the dino have matching shoes as well.
Of course everyone gets good feedback so that it’s hard to tell who will get kicked off.
But in the end, Rayce wins. Ian also moves on, as does RJ, leaving Anal Asian and Emo Matt out in the cold.
Kind of predictable, I guess. They both get nice parting comments and then they gone.
This is how they’re categorizing the final three: Rayce as the small-town tattoo artist (wait what?? I didn’t know that) from Idaho, Ian as the fresh-out of school young kid, and RJ as the washed-up teacher who wants to get back into the game.
The guys get a treat in the form of their loved ones on Skype. Rayce sees his family, Ian sees his girlfriend, and RJ sees his little sister.
Yeesh, previousliy I would have said he got the bad genes in the family, but now…
In the final spotlight challenge, their makeups will have to be able to withstand being put in a choregraophed dance routine in front of a live audience.
They each get to pick a film genre to base their makeups off, and they will each have to create three characters for their genre.
RJ takes fantasy, which Ian really wanted, Rayce picks sci-fi, which Ian also wanted, and that leaves Ian with horror. Sorry, bud, that’s just the way it happens sometimes.
And of course, we get the requisite return-from-the-dead of the eliminated contestants. They each get to pick three former people to help them out. I hope someone picks Nix and/or Mail Order Britney, it’s been too long since I’ve seen their strange faces.
Oh wait LOLZ, Nix isn’t even there. He wasn’t even good enough to qualify as an assistant. Hilarious. Yet that sucky girl Miranda is there. Love it!
RJ ends up with a ladies’ team of Mail Order Britney, Beki, and LaBrea.
I can guarantee this is the first and last time this will happen to him
Rayce gets Sunny, Jerry (ugh), and Miranda, and Ian picks Emo Matt, Tara, and Anal Asian.
Ian decides to create something that I can’t make out, it sounds like a “loose baron” or “moose faron” character. A loose baron might be kind of fun…in any case, it’s some kind of overlord that owns these two angel-demon hell hound girls.
All of RJ’s “angels” start tossing out ideas to him, that range from vampires to mermaids to two-headed elephants. That last one was Mail Order Britney’s suggestion. God I’ve missed her.
I’m pretty sure RJ’s missed her too
He decides to go with a good fairy girl and an evil fairy queen fighting over a faun. Rayce decides to make a light entity, a dark entity, and a woman character pulled into the two different worlds. Sounds strangely similar to RJ’s idea…
All the dancers will be dancing together, but each trio will get a moment when they get to shine. RJ’s idea is shot down by the choreographers, so he switches it to an evil alchemist and good Mother Earth fighting over a phoenix.
MOB has been given the role of sculpting the phoenix, but when Beki goes over to look she freaks out because it looks like a cartoon parrot.
RJ meekly takes it from her and changes it to make it better, and she calls him a genius. Looks like MOB has lowered her standards since being kicked off, maybe RJ has a shot. Don’t let her get away RJ, or the next thing you know she’ll have settled for Jerry, and we all know that no one wants that.
Mackenzie shows up with a special guest to mentor them all- her dad, Michael Westmore, a legend in the industry. He goes around to everyone, and for the first time I understand that Ian is saying “Luciferian/Lucifer” character, although it still sounds like “Moose Woofer.”
MOB starts making some crazy wig for the phoenix, and RJ has to talk to her to change it. When he acts like a pussy again, she says, “you’re the boss, remember?” in a very Russian-porno kind of way. His mind is already running wild.
At Last Looks, Ian is way behind schedule. All of his models go looking naked because he barely started painting yet. But Rayce is behind as well, and still is as their time ends.
They walk into the theater to applause from the studio audience. I spot some of the competitors from last season among them. The audience gets to vote for their favorites, and that vote will be taken into consideration in the final decision.
First up are Ian’s horror creations.
Ian’s Moose Woofer
Hell Hound 1
Hell Hound 2
Then RJ’s fantasy people.
The Ugliest Mother Earth ever
And finally Rayce’s sci-fi characters.
Then, they all dance. It’s pretty cool, but not as cool as the zombie dance from Face Off season 1, in my opinion. But nothing seems to fall off or break or anything, so that’s good. Whoops, I spoke too soon, Rayce sees some places where his prosthetics are coming off. Never mind.
The judges look up close, and then we hear their critiques.
Ian has great concepts, but the three characters aren’t integrated too well. His sculpture is very good, original, and unique. They complement RJ on his complete head to toe makeups, with great headpieces, but they say Mother Earth should prettier, and some of the airbrushing is wonky. Rayce had the greatest problems with deterioration from the dance (one of his character’s neck is all exposed, but all the characters are exceptional. They say he did cool things with shadows, and the three complete heads on the in-between character are great.
Then it’s time for deliberation, and we learn that the audience picked Rayce as their favorite.
I think Rayce was my favorite and RJ was my least. Ian’s was ok, there was just not enough paint. I also thought RJ’s idea was plain dumb.
From the judges’ comments, I think they’re going to pick Rayce as the winner.
And the winner of season 2 of SyFy is…
Everyone! They’re all winners! That’s why they’re all dressed the same.
No, just kidding, it’s actually…
So that’s it! He gets into his new car, the nicest thing he’s ever been inside of (I guess his wife isn’t very nice, HEY-OH!) and drives away into the sunset.
What does everyone think? Did Rayce deserve to win? Were the finalists overall weaker this year? Should Mail Order Britney get her own spinoff show, “In Soviet Russia, Make-Up Paints You?”
Thanks for following along, despite my lack of timeliness! See you next time!