Face Off Recaps: Aliens in Wonderland

First off, I know I’m behind, and I’m sorry! Being on the other side of the globe for the first two episodes really threw off my rhythm…I’m trying to catch up now!

So last week someone I don’t remember went home. Must have not been very important.

Ian tells us he can’t believe he made it this far. In the beginning I would have said “Neither can I,” but he’s turned out to be pretty decent. More so than Mr. I’ve Been Doing Special Effects Make Up Since Before You Were Born Jerry, anyway.

Speaking of that wannabe-metal head, he bitches about how he should have won last week and how Anal Asian Sue’s sculpt sucked. Reality check, she won, and I sure as hell trust the opinion of the judges who have worked on real movies than yours.

Also, Tara’s hair is poofy and out of control. She’s a hot mess. Wait, scratch the hot.

She looks like I did after St. Patty’s Day, only with less green glitter and worse hair

They walk in to the workroom to find a hovering police car and concept sketches.

The cops will like this- faster maneuvering to get to Dunkin’ Donuts

The car will be featured in the new Total Rekall film. They have to pick one of the drawings to use as the basis for their work, which is creating an original alien. Although it’s not really “original” if they’re basing it off someone else’s drawing, now is it?

Mackenzie says that these were all made by their special guest, and after a lot of build up, it turns out to be…Patrick Tatopoulos. Oh that’s boring, he’s one of the judges! We see him every week. But all the artists look like Christmas came early anyway, maybe hoping to butter him up a little for judging.

 Anal Asian Sue may have the most shocked/worried faces, but RJ has the monopoly on little girl faces

Patrick will be the client for the challenge, so I guess they have to please him? Maybe the girls will have the upper hand in this one. Also, I do not know what his accent is supposed to be. Tatapoulos is a Greek name, but his accent is more French or something. Mysteries.

There are four drawings, each with a different design (one is bat/werewolf thing, one is cyborg-esque, etc.) Everyone picks what they want, then they get to work.

Tara is making a creature with big arm extensions, even though she’s never made something like that before. Ian is making a feminine bat creature. Emo Matt is going with an albino looking alien. Beki is making a female cyborg. I’m remembering how her “female” spider went (terribly) and wondering if this one will actually look feminine.

Jerry gives Ian a lot of help when he’s struggling. Ian says, “I want her to be feminine.” Jerry says, “Then make her sexy.” Ian says, “I don’t want her to be sexy, I want her to be creepy.” Jerry says, “Then make her creepy.” You’re really full of wisdom, aren’t you Jer?

Patrick comes by to meet with everyone, but nothing too interesting happens. He mostly just mumbles things that need to be subtitled and moves on.

Anal Asian is making an intricate face, but not doing much with the body. Others worry that she is counting too much on small details, and the body is too human.

Then, Jerry starts railing on her. He shouts to whoever will listen (no one really, but he doesn’t care), “It’s obvious some people have been sculpting for 20 years, some people for six months.” Well guess who won the challenge? The “six month” sculptor. Even Bitchy Beki doesn’t see why he hates her so much. Thankfully Anal Asian says in confessional (I wish it was to everyone, but still) what we’re all thinking; he should have won something if he’s so experienced.

 The exact face I make whenever Jerry talks about all his “experience”

The next day, Tara’s arms don’t come out right, or at all. She calls it an epic fail, and I agree. We also learn in this week’s “Meet the Contestants” Segment, that apparently she has a trademark hiccup that sounds like a loud squeal and happens all the time. Like hiccup Tourettes. That must be annoying during sex. Or at a funeral. Or on an airplane. Actually, I can’t think of a place that wouldn’t be annoying. An AA meeting maybe?

RJ also has a problem with his mold- the neck is cracked. So he decides to use a different material.

Meanwhile, Tara tries redoing her arms, and right as she says, “it’s looking like it might come together”- it collapses. She jinxed herself on that one. She accepts that she can’t make the arm extensions, and knows she’s pretty much fucked. She should have followed the mantra of all slutty sorority girls- always have (a) Plan B.

 The face of broken arms and broken dreams

The next day, the models come in for application. Ian’s prosthetic is a hot mess, with tears and things breaking off all over the place. Everyone seems a bit panicked.

But of course Jerry feels great because he loves his work. When has he ever not felt great? Every week he says he’s going to win, and doesn’t. Maybe if he just once said that he was worried about being in the bottom, the judges would take pity on him and let him win. Yeah, right.

I’m still waiting to see which model will collapse or have a seizure today.

In Last Looks it seems like almost everyone is behind or has something going wrong. Maybe Jerry will actually pull this one off if everyone else is so bad.

Tara doesn’t finish her makeup. They’ve been focusing on her a lot this episode, so I’m going to assume she’s going home, because there’s no way that her piece of crap is gonna win.

RESULTS

The guest this week is Levar Burton, the guy with the visor from Star Trek. Of course RJ geeks out over him.

Now for a big announcement- Mackenzie says two people are going home this week. Now it’s good so many sucked, as there are lots of people to choose from.

PICS

 Anal Asian

Beki

Rayce- look, he made an Asian Alien!

Jerry

Ian

Emo Matt

RJ

Tara

Beki and Emo Matt are safe. Really? I thought Beki’s was really good for once, but I guess it wasn’t as good in person.

The judges like Rayce’s alien a lot. I agree, it looks like a super hero action figure, but cool. Kind of like something you’d see on Ben 10 (is anyone going to get that reference?). Anal Asian gets called out for only doing work on the face. They like how she used fake fingernails, but overall it’s too different from Patrick’s design.

Then we come to Jerry…they don’t like it! Yes, fuck you! They say the paint job is real bad, and the colors make them think it’s aquatic even though it isn’t. They love Ian’s bad-woman. In Ve’s exact words, it’s “awesome, bitchin’, and groovy.” Patrick says its better than his own design. That’s a nice compliment.

With RJ, they like that he took it in another direction. They say the head is very good, although the arms are too big and kind of awkward. Unfortunately for Tara, with a bad mouth and no arms it’s not much of anything. She claims she ripped the teeth out because they were hitting the model’s mouth. I guess that’s the model problem for the week? I’ll take it.

It’s obvious Tara is going home, and maybe Anal Asian as well? That would leave Beki as the only woman, and I don’t like that. But that’s how it looks like it’ll turn out.

Ian is the winner! He’s really come out the woodwork lately. They’re giving him tickets to the Total Rekall premiere. That’s nice.

The first person going home is, shocker, Tara. Mostly for not trusting her own decisions. She was one of the least annoying people on the show, so I’m sad to see her go, kind of.

The second person leaving is…Jerry! Ha! While standing right next to Anal Asian, who “sucks”, too.

Anal Asian looks afraid he’s going to eat her…or worse, hug her!

Screw you Mr. 20 Years of Experience. He claims that he’s going home because he didn’t live up to the high expectations created by his “impressive” portfolio and years of work. You just keep telling yourself, that, Jer.

Finally that fat, unconditioned bastard is gone. Good riddance!

 

Episode 8

Rayce is getting really homesick for his 6 (!!!) kids.

 What sport is that? Indoor football? Hmm ok.

Beki apparently has a boyfriend whom she misses. Yeesh, I wonder how he can put up with so much bitterness and nasty hair.

They leave the house and walk up to some tall, twisty towers. Mackenzie is there, and tells them that this week is all about turning something mundane into something extraordinary, like how these towers used to just be an empty lot. But empty lots are so fun! Kids can play in the dust among broken glass, drug deals can go down, they’re a perfect place to dump dead bodies and have gang fights, etc.

 RIP Empty Lot

The challenge this week is all about the creatively twisted genius known as Tim Burton. Emo Matt is very excited, as fondly remembers jacking off to pictures of Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

The challenge is to create a whimsical character inspired by an ordinary profession like you would see in a Tim Burton movie. They pick their professions:

Sue- toymaker

Beki- baker

Rayce- cellist

Emo Matt- ice cream man

Ian- plumber

RJ- bellhop (he is unhappy with this, but oh well)

 

Ve has worked on five Tim Burton films, so she’ll be around to give comments.

Sidenote- I went to the Tim Burton exhibit at MOMA a few years ago, and they displayed some of his sketches from his childhood. Kid was screwed up. It’s turned out well for him now, but most kids who went around drawing psychopathic nannies or demonic jack-in-the-boxes would probably end up in therapy, not Hollywood.

They think about how Burton characters are not heavily make-upped, and are very subtle. It’s true, which makes this challenge more interesting- it’s not just about sculpting and prosthetics, but artistic design.

Ian is thinking of a steampunk-esque plumber, which sounds pretty cool. Rayce is making a cello with a face to go along with his model, which sounds promising, and Anal Asian is making a child puppet with an exposed brain.

 Which is creepier: Severed head-cello or life-size brain puppet? I’ll let you decide.

 Ian sees that Anal Asian is also doing a one-eye covered metal monocle kind of thing and freaks out. Why does it matter? Why can’t more than one person do the same idea? It’s not like they’re making the same makeup…

But actually Anal Asian ends up taking it out, and Ian keeps his.

I’m sitting here wondering who will make the Helena Bonham Carter character? Because god knows you can’t have a Tim Burton movie these days without her.

Beki spends most of her time making a giant cupcake. She’s going simple and focuses more on the colors and design than the makeup. We’ll see if that’s a good plan or not.

When Ve comes around, RJ sucks up and tells her that he read a magazine article about how she applied the Penguin makeup to Danny DeVito in Batman.

Anal Asian babbles on and on about the story behind her concept. It’s something like a Children Of Men meets Pinocchio story.

Beki gets nervous when she realizes she’s the only one not sculpting anything. Anal Asian and Beki make up for long enough to be miserable about their suckiness together.

 The Anal Asian in the Cupboard

RJ’s idea of having a bellhop that merged with a chest of drawers is pretty funny. Anal Asian still has a lot to do, so she puts her model to work cutting stuff up. Hey, so far all the models have done is pass out and get allergic reactions, why not make them do something productive? I would.

When they head to Last Looks, she is still very behind.

Like we haven’t heard enough about Underworld: Rise of the Lycans every time they introduce Patrick Tatopoulos 

RESULTS

The special guest is Catherine O’Hara, who is one of Burton’s favorite actresses (meaning she’s been in a ton of his movies). They mention she’s in his upcoming film Frankenweenie? When did that come out? I just looked it up- it’s out in October.

 

Ian

 

Beki

Emo Matt

Sue

Rayce- that cello is going to haunt my nightmares

RJ- the bellhop steals lady’s underwear, I wonder if he was drawing on personal experience…

 

Emo Matt- Glenn says he likes it, with his stilted, pausing style of speech. They all like it, as it’s both scary and funny. They say that Beki’s just echoes something that already exists, and her tying it to the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland didn’t help her either. They think it’s kind of a letdown, plus the teeth don’t fit.

Everyone loves Rayce’s cello-man and man-cello, saying they could hear it with Danny Elfman music (so true!). I wouldn’t be surprised if Tim Burton stole this for one of his films. On the other end of the spectrum, Ve doesn’t think Anal Asian’s is Tim Burton at all. There are too many ideas put together, into what Glenn describes as a “ballet of idiocy.” He has such a way with words. Ian’s is very Burton but not enough Ian. They say he played it safe, and should have done more with the front. RJ’s is universally loved, they all think it’s impressive and think it fits right into a Burton movie.

Everyone actually did decent on this challenge, for once. Considering the finale is in two episodes, I’d hope so.

I think Rayce or RJ will win, probably Rayce. His cello blew them away. I think Anal Asian’s probably out. They focused on her a lot this episode and her idea was just weird.

And the winner is Rayce. Called it! They loved how he put pieces of the cello in her face as well.

But I was wrong, as Beki goes home! Suck it bitch! She’s mellowed out a bit over the past few episodes, but I still didn’t like her. I can’t believe Anal Asian is still around, so she’s gotta go next. Which would leave Ian, Rayce, RJ, and Emo Matt in the finale. I think I’d be okay with that.

Did you guys agree with all the eliminations? Who do you think should/will win it all?

I’ll do my best to get the last two episodes recapped as quickly as I can!

Thanks everyone!

<3 L-Money