Fantasia: Still For Real


By Flipit | | 12:00 pm | 24 Comments

Fantasia’s kicked the family out of the house and she’s ready for another season! I think this show should be called Fantasia 2: Poor Tiny! She’s all alone with her dog and her kid. And now she finally gets to do it her way! I think anyone who reads any kind of gossip mag knows that Fantasia’s way is pretty skanky, so YAY!!! Do it your way!

This was taped before her new album came out, so she’s all nervous since the last album didn’t go so well. I think it’s because most of the songs on it were really bad. Or because everyone’s totally against her and she’s a victim. Tasia likes to talk about how beat down she is all the time, but I refuse to feel sorry for anyone with this house:

Screen Shot 2010-09-19 At 11.53.24 Am
The house that Simon built

She is told that this CD is gonna get her that Grammy! She’s been nominated eight times but hasn’t taken anything home yet. I don’t care about Grammys. My hope is that her album is full of songs that don’t suck. Tasia starts this preview in a super great mood. She’s been waiting a long time for this album and it better do good!

Screen Shot 2010-09-19 At 11.29.08 Am
The beginning.

And then Aunt Bunny shows up.

Screen Shot 2010-09-19 At 11.28.15 Am
Uhoh

 

She doesn’t have much nice to say.

Screen Shot 2010-09-19 At 11.29.45 Am

Bunny’s been hearing some things on the internet that she doesn’t like. Hey, Aunt Bunny. How bout just being happy for Tasia that she’s even being written about on the internet? When was the last time that even happened? I think when Simon paid for her to take her house out of foreclosure. Embarrassing! At least this time she’s getting laid.

Tasia is confronted about media reports that she met a married man in a store. She doesn’t deny it, but does add that he was separated. Then Aunt Bunny says “giiiiirl” with such emotion that she just made every queen in America bow his head in shame. We seriously need to practice. In one “giiiiiirl”, she displayed

Screen Shot 2010-09-19 At 11.33.06 Am
disgust, shame, anger, sadness, humor, betrayal, disappointment, and hunger

She tells Tasia it’s a big no, period. Then she yells at her in the car. Then Fantasia cries and tells us that she’s been in a lot of relationships that have been bad for her. None of which were her fault. Now let’s see if she passed her GED! She did!! “Now I have my high school diploma!” Um…no you don’t, but you can at least apply to community college now and learn welding or something, so congrats!

Screen Shot 2010-09-19 At 11.37.47 Am
Career in Refrigerator Repair, here I come!

Almost as good as a Grammy, from the way she’s acting. I took that test. They make sure you have a pulse, ask you to pat your head while you rub your tummy, and then give you a piece of paper. Meh. Back to the affair! It was on Nancy Gracy that Tasia is a homewrecker! You guys, Nancy Grace is one despicable bitch. All she does is sit up there and spew her venom at people in a fake Dr. Phil accent. HATE. You know who should have a show? Aunt Bunny.

Screen Shot 2010-09-19 At 11.41.44 Am
You could lose your life foolin’ with this foolishness!

I watched the Nancy Grace clip, and in it we find out that Tasia met her husband in the T-Mobile store he worked at. LOL. A CLERK?!?! Giiiiirl, why you on T-Mobile anyway? You’re rich! If you’re gonna date a clerk from a cell phone store, at least go with Verizon. Cheap ass Tasia.

Tasia gets all depressed cuz it’s all over the news that she’s a man stealing ho and she’s being sued for serious dollars by T-Mob Wife. She’s so sad that she goes nuts and puts lipstick all over her face like Diane Ladd in Wild at Heart.

Screen Shot 2010-09-19 At 11.45.13 Am

Tasia is beat down, you guys! You can tell cuz she’s sobbing and talking in a super low drugged out raspy voice and she got a bowl cut. Happy people don’t get bowl cuts.

Screen Shot 2010-09-19 At 11.46.41 Am

Then she takes too much aspirin and gets sent to the emergency room! Lamest rock n’ roll suicide ever. Now look, I am a HUGE Fantasia fan and have all of her albums. Even stuff from YouTube that I have converted into MP3s. We can talk about how gay that is later. My point is, I LOVE HER. Suicide is never funny. But isn’t it kind of a coincidence that she took too much aspirin like a week before her album dropped? Not that I’m condemning the move. She totally won the week. Which means she’s finally learned to use the press to her advantage. So YAY! YOU WIN!!

Screen Shot 2010-09-19 At 11.49.32 Am
Winner


In the hospital, she decides that she hasn’t fulfilled her destiny of refrigerator repair or welding so she’ll keep living. Then she gives speeches in concerts about how put upon she’s been but she takes a lickin and keeps on kickin! Pooooooooor yooooooooou. Then money rains down on her head. This girl is a freakin mess. But she can sing like a squeaky angel! Keep up the crazy girl!

Fantasia for Real starts its second season tonight on VH1

***THIS POST HAS BEEN UPDATED to reflect the correct job of Tasia’s lovah and the proper number of past Grammy noms/wins. Thanks for calling me out on my shit fact checking, sowwy.

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

24 Comments

  1. 1
    JJB
    Posted September 19, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    Bah :/ Fantasia = zzz

    Know if TVgasm is doing any recaps for I Love Money? That show needs help if its to have a chance :P

  2. 2
    Barackfan
    Posted September 19, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    Can someone explain to me why Fantasia gets tons of crap about being with married men but Alicia Keyes gets next to none? Seriously, I keep reading tons of nasty things about Fantasia but I only hear a vague mentioning on the Alicia Keyes deal. Why? I seriously want to know…

    And yes, I think both a very talented, Alicia more than Fantasia, but whatever I don’t have a personal interest in either (not a fan) but it seems pretty weird how different the tabloids treat the two.

  3. 3
    Pixielated
    Posted September 19, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    I always wonder why the “other woman” gets more crap in these situations than the MARRIED man does. HE is the one who made the vow. HE is the one who is betraying his wife. Like Angelina Jolie gets so much flak for “stealing” Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston. Didn’t he have anything to do with it? Nobody seems to blame him at all.

    To me, the married person is always more culpable than the person he/she is cheating with.

    (No, I have never been in that situation in any role!)

  4. 4
    Posted September 19, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    Not to have too much TMI, but I overdosed on Tylonal and let me tell you, that is not FUN at all. Even if she did do it to make her album sales better, the recovery still BLOWS. I have permanent liver problems from it now and can’t drink without getting a massive hot flash. Also, half the medications they wanted to give me for my knee pain, my C-Section, and my tubal I couldn’t have because if I even take 50 milligrams of Tylonal, it sends me into the hospital with tremors, sweats, closed throat, etc. I feel bad for her. I am all good now (this happened back in 2003) but still, if she did do it only for her album, she is going to regret it in the long run.

  5. 5
    Barackfan
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 3:58 am

    Good point Pixilated!! Married men NEVER seem to take the flak for anything! Expecially if they are celebrities. Disgusting!

    Brad Pitt is still America’s Golden Boy but now Angelina is a hubby-stealing whore. Shows how twisted our society is when it comes to “values.” Still living in the 50′s I see.

    Still, I’d like to know why all the hatred for Fantasia and not Alicia. Someone please clarify

  6. 6
    Belladonna7508
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 7:42 am

    It’s hard for people to think badly of AKeys because she has this whole aura of being deep and soulful and not vain or materialistic. She has never had a scandal so people (especially her fans) just justify her shitty behavior to themselves as Mashonda being crazy because Akeys would NEVER sleep with a married man right?

    Fantasia was an is a hot mess so this is far more believable.

    I honestly am not surprised by Fantasia but with AKeys, its just such a 360 from her image and her music, she is so fake to me now.

  7. 7
    Faye
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 9:01 am

    I love Fantasia and her CD’s are always good..she is one big hit away (and a few covering of tattos) from being Mary J Blige (IMHO) She just needs that one song because the girl is talented and can put on a show. As far as her “married man” I agree that she is being beat down a lot worse than some of America’s golden girls…let’s start a list shall we? LeAnne Rimes, Julia Roberts, Sienna Miller, Alicia Keys, Gabrielle Union, Khloe Kardasian, Tori Spelling, Claire Danes .. the next commenter can continue :)

  8. 8
    mulecitybabe
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 9:54 am

    I couldn’t care less about Fantasia. Yawn. She’s over her Tylenol thing but nothing cures stupid, so she’s in for the long haul.

    As far as the married men and their hos, I think it depends on the couple. Look at Jesse James. He caught plenty of well-deserved shit for what he did, and I couldn’t point out the skank he diddled (I don’t say fucked b/c I doubt he’s big enough for that) if she was the only tatted up ho standing there. As to Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, I have been done with them both since they screwed around on their wives.

  9. 9
    Primadonna_Style
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    @Pixalated. Well said. If your man took vows with you and then HE is the one who goes out and gets into another relationship, then why does the other woman get the flack? That’s how men keep doing what they do cause they never have take responsibility for their actions. Dumb women stop being angry at the wrong person. Look at the person who promised to love, honor, and protect you all the days of his life!

  10. 10
    val
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    I have to disagree with you about her GED. It is reconized the same as a high school diploma, and you can attend a four-year college to get you degree.

  11. 11
    cw
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    um fantasia has never won a grammy. get your facts straight. summertime was nominated, but lost to aretha franklin. if you wanna clown, clown when you have your facts straight.

  12. 12
    cw
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    I watched the Nancy Grace clip, and in it we find out that Tasia met her husband in the T-Mobile store that his wife worked at. LOL. He was so separated from his wife that he was visiting her at work. In the T-Mobile store. Giiiiirl, why you on T-Mobile anyway? You’re rich! Go to the Verizon store and find a man with a JOB.
    ———————————————————————-

    Um seriously, where are you getting your information boo? it is the husband that works at Tmobile. the wife works at a school.

    This is sad. This is how false information gets passed around as truth. As I stated in my previous post, know your ish if you want to clown someone.

  13. 13
    giffordsaz
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    wow, I am nominating cw as the fact checker….. she knows this topic and can back you up here… you two need to get together because I want the whole story.. and how they heck can the wife from the school sue Fantasia? Sue her cheatin’ man….. but seriously this happens every day of the week to someone. If everyone sued …. geez, just divorce his butt and eat cake.

    I wish for her a hit and a happy life. She deserved to win Idol the year she did, it was her work ethic i believe derailed her career.

    And the Air Force will not take you with a GED but the Army will in certain job positions. To be taken by a University with a GED you must ave very good scores on the ACT or SAT.

  14. 14
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    Depending on the state, the cuckold wife can sue the mistress. Crazy right? This woman was awarded a $9 millon judgement against her husband’s side-piece. http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/spurned_wife_sues_husband_lover_1TMEWRbaVLQ7iuPWiaHvoI

    Gabrielle Union was sued by Dwayne Wade’s wife for homewreckery. well, emotional distress was the claim but we all know what she meant. lol

  15. 15
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    I have changed the incorrect facts in the article, thanks for pointing them out to me cw and thanks for reading you guys. did anyone watch the premiere?

  16. 16
    giffordsaz
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    Flipit, what are you doing here this time of night? Go home, Xena wants out and Stars are Dancing… get out of the cubicle and say hello to life baby……….

  17. 17
    Pixielated
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    I went to a university with only a GED and no SAT or ACT scores. I transferred from a community college. And now I direct standardized test scoring!

  18. 18
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    hahah not quite how this gig works!

  19. 19
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    oh yeah and jjb, i love money is being totally buried and has been re-edited “to focus more on the competitions and less on the cast interactions.” hence, no one wants to recap it. vh1 needs to get over it! it’s not their fault that dude was a crazy murderer. is that a reason to cut out all the good trash? no. no it is not.

  20. 20
    Posted September 20, 2010 at 9:02 pm

    @Pixielated I’ve always wondered about that, too. I guess it is just a cultural double standard, because when a married woman cheats, she’s the slut, nobody seems to be as angry at the dude she cheated with.

    @giffordsaz I don’t think it was her work ethic so much as the dysfunctional family members, and sorry to sound like a broken record, but culture again – this time, the idea that if one member of a poor family obtains any material success, they are obligated to assume the entire burden of fixing the broken lives of all their relatives for perpetuity.

    Not saying she did wrong in hooking them up with basics, like housing, opportunities, jobs, etc, but Teeny is a sort of classic example. He could have become a sound engineer, got a production job, all kinds of things, but he didn’t want any of that! He didn’t even want to sing backup for his sister, he didn’t want to take any advice from anybody, or develop his talents and get work, he just wants to be an instant mogul/superstar.

    Maybe if Fantasia herself had been a little older and wiser when her big break came, she would have had the wisdom to sit his ass down and give him an ultimatum from the beginning – here’s a ball, now you run with it or go ask somebody else to pay your rent!

  21. 21
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted September 21, 2010 at 7:01 am

    No problem Flipit. I go to the National Enquirer if I need the facts.

  22. 22
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 21, 2010 at 9:23 am

    “E’er since you won da idol you aint neva been da same!”

    Wait..is Ryan on this season of I love money?? The one that just came on..where mamacita got drunk and let one rip. Then said it was “nature-al”. HAHA!! But seriously, I didn’t see him. Does he have a nickname or has he been edited out?

  23. 23
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted September 21, 2010 at 9:30 am

    Okay..quick search, he was on ILM3 but this season was taping before the murder happened which is why the didn’t know whether to air t. But apparently after the murder, VHi decided ‘to shift it’s focus’ to other types of reality TV, including putting our girl “Tasia on the air!

    I caught the premiere. Bunny lost a lot of weight. Teeny is still ‘living’ on his own, and still jobless. Tasia goes to London and is surprised that people have heard of her. And her mom and Bunny and none to thrilled about this married man business. Guuuuuuuuuurl!

  24. 24
    Posted September 21, 2010 at 11:51 am

    @sarcasatire Yeah, don’t mean to hijack, but that whole thing seems to have killed Megan’s career.

    Too bad. The day will come when the creation and development of a reality show “persona” will get the props it deserves, and Megan had the potential to become The World’s Favorite Airhead Skank!

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.