This week on The Fashion Show, how do you make a socialite that looks like she spent a dollar on her clothes look like she spent forty? And when did the America Ferrera look catch hold?
Ugly Betty, you just got schooled!
The opening clues us in on the dumdums we’re about to spend an hour with.
Try one with words in it. You might learn something.
Previously, this happened:
I can’t remember anything else.
There’s a clip of Isaac saying he was dazzled by something on the runway, and I don’t remember that happening. Didn’t he tell everyone if he was Joan Collins they would all be fired? You know what? Let’s not live in the past. Moving on to this week…
We open with my favorite kind of shot. Someone crying.
My clothes may have been ugly, but they turn into compost in less than a year!
Last week I was calling this girl Organic Clampett cuz of her hair, but she toned it down so now she’s just Organic. Damn. That name needs some work. She’s all upset about being in the bottom two and tells us that the competition is reeeeally haaaard. She was so hurt by Isaac telling her he doesn’t know if she has the stones to make it here that she is going home!! WHAT?!?! WHAT A WUSS!! If at first you don’t succeed, just open your own online store without a comment function I guess. See ya LOSER!
Whole Foods probably needs some cashiers, and they have very positive attitudes over there. Maybe you could make some baby doll dresses out of their cloth bags or some shit.
You know who really deserves our respect? The underwear designer.
Now that’s talent.
As some of the boys eat breakfast in the AM, Kinda Almost Pretty talks about Organic Clampett leaving. Merlin, who is in a headband after his Tai ChiChi La Rue class, pouts “Che was so cute!” Kinda Almost says in his thick Midwestern accent that this competition wasn’t the place for her cuz “she deyadeen’t heyave the skeein for it.” Kinda Almost is hairless and wears a lot of makeup. He tries to show off his professional eye shadow application, but comes off looking like a disappointed mom.
You don’t want to go to college? Fine. No really it’s fine. I’m not using any tone, it’s really fine. I just dreamt you would be better than the rest of us and now my dream is dead. But at least you’re happy. Really. It’s fine.
They all get to the workroom, where Isaac tells them they will be competing in teams again. YAY! I don’t hear the rest cuz I have to press pause and take a look at everyone’s outfits. Look, I’m gay (are you shocked?), and I’m all for people being out of the closet and I get that gayness is straightness in the fashion world, but when did it become ok for dudes to put on girl’s clothes and makeup to go to work? WHEN? Especially in the fashion world, cuz there are so many gay guys and gay guys aren’t attracted to women, they’re attracted to men. I don’t know if what I said just made any sense. I’m babbling cuz I don’t want to diss my own people for being who they are, but they’re making it very difficult. It’s like the whole community is being broken up. There’s always been gay, bi, bi curious, transgendered, pre op, etc; but now there’s a whole sub-section of thirtysomething men who want to start all over again and pretend they’re twelve year old girls on their way to a Jonas Brothers concert. Exhibits A, B, and C:
The manliest one in the room is Not Beyonce.
Since James Pole was last week’s winner (with experimental rectangles, no less), he gets to choose someone to move over to Team Tube Dress, which is now down two members. They look scared, but I don’t know why. Whoever they get has to be better than FortyHawk and Organic Clampett, right? Wrong. This is the Fashion Show, and I’m already learning that someone worse is always right around the corner.
Daniella, the chick who dresses too old for her age, doesn’t want to be on the same team as Merlin again. I don’t understand why! He’s so pleasant!! See?
You on my teem agayn and I kill u boobies.
Pole sends her over to Tube. DAMN! I was looking forward to some more lisped out sexism. Laura Brown is brought in. She’s the skinny blonde bitch on wheels who works for Haarper’s Bazaar and I guess the sack of bones in charge of the opening challenges. She’s kinda like the Nina, but crackier, meaner, and more intelligible. I don’t think Eco Friendly Witch likes her very much, cuz she tries to put a curse on her the second she walks in the door.
You are getting verrrry sleeeepy, my dear child. Today’s challenge is to make an outfit that is good for the Earth. Say it! SAY IT!
Sorry, Witchy Poo! The teams are all given boxes that contain cheap shit and expensive shit. They have to dress two mannequins, trying to distinguish the cheap from the expensive. Hey I’d hate for these guys to actually have to design something. Lame. Team Tube is first. They get three pieces wrong. I could go into great detail, but really, why? They get more time, but are still off by two. Third time’s a charm. And I think we all learned a very important lesson here.
You don’t need to spend thousands of dollars to look like the lady on the Swiffer Sweeper commercials.
Team Harem Pants is next, and Mexican Jay is dressed like Fred Flinstone with Wilma’s hairdo.
I’ll bet he smells like old cheese.
MexiJay says that he and some of the others “shop designer” so he knows they’ll win. What designer do you shop exactly? I don’t remember seeing that jewel you’re wearing in any mags, but I could just be in the wrong section of the newsstand.
Markus, the gay John Lovitz, not to be confused with Straight John Lovitz from last season’s Project Runway (sorry for name recycling but look at the guy!), says that the first thing he did was smell the purses cuz he knows what leather smells like. Duh. It’s smells like the inside of a Payless Shoe Store. Like we’re all morons because we didn’t graduate from the BEST SCHOOL EVAAAAHHHH.
Why is Old Young Lady dressed like Kenley today? If she had bangs, I’d be worried a cat was about to be thrown at me.
This team is off by two pieces, and what’s awesome about it is that what are wrong are the purse and the belt. Leather! LOL Gay John Lovitz. You’re making London College really proud right now. Reco, our Man on Film, figures out that a belt with glue on it is probably not expensive. Nice work. They have to go over and over again, always off by one piece. MexiJay looks like he just ate the dress forms.
They finally get it right on the fifth try, and in double the amount of time it took the first team. Gay Lovitz blames his team, which is just shocking. How come the rich outfits are always more wrinkled up than the cheap ones?
Team Bolero gets it right the first time in just three minutes, less than half the time of their nearest competition. Merlin is very humble about it.
I make keel cute Graymleen, I make keel competeeshun!
The teams all huddle up to pick team captains for the next challenge, and Merlin’s team looks like a crew of Gay Smurfs trying to decide how to battle Gaygamel.
I punch heem een da poosy and you guys tie hees choolaces togayder!
Merlin has taken off his UgBets poncho and now we get a full view of his lovely top.
I can’t find words.
His team chose James Pole to be their captain. In grade school, an Easter purple sweater and granny scarf would have got him beaten up, but on Bravo the outfit actually works to his advantage. Kiss his tiny bony Asian ass, Dodgeball!
Don’t get so comfie. Old Young Lady will have no problem throwing a dodgeball at your head.
Anna, the chick who is obsessed with Yarn, is picked for Team Tube Skirt, and Team Harem Pants chose Haven. I don’t think Not Beyonce likes her, cuz this is the rude face she makes when she hears the news.
Isaac says this week they will need to bring it cuz they’re designing for a very special guest named….
Unfortunately, that’s not true. This chick is a “premier socialite” in NY according to Isaac, and her name is Tinsley Mortimer. Uh-oh Haven! You have some competition in the tacky white blonde girl names department! All the other socialites are gonna be all atwitter that she is on TV with her hair sticking up in the back. You would have been assigned a touch up artist, but this is the cheapest show on Earth. Sorry!
I tried to dig up dirt on her, but there’s nothing juicy. She got a reality show on MTV last year but they killed it cuz all she did was get dressed up and smile a lot and had nothing interesting to say. And this is the network that produces The Hills and The City. Ouch. If you’re vapid compared to those bitches it’s time to consider hanging yourself. She’s dressed in one of the most unflattering skirts I’ve ever seen.
Please take your seats. The curtains are about to rise for “Saddlebags: The Musical”
Predictably, the queens are thrilled and the women? Less so. Wednesday Addams looks like she’s got this idiot’s number.
Tinsley (LOL) says that she’s got SO MANY social invitations that she just doesn’t know how to dress for them all! She’s got inviations to an art gallery opening, a ladies luncheon, charity gala, backstage party for a Chicago concert, a members 10% sale at Best Buy, a five star buffet to raise money for starving children in Africa, and a bring a can of beans party in a mansion to honor Habitat for Humanity.
They will each have to make and outfit for a part of a Team Collection, but they will only get forty bucks each. LOL. Like Tinsley’s gonna wear some forty dollar piece of crap. That curtain dress was a thousand bucks, at least. Tinsley (LOL) tells the designers that the most important part of the design is the hair, which “I’m known for!” This is even funnier cuz she still has hair sticking up in the back.
There are fourteen hours to complete this very important task, and when time is called, the designers start running like contestants on Supermarket Sweep.
La migra! La migra!
The designers are really nervous cuz Tinsley (LOL) is always wearing the most fashionable clothes. There was the time she wore that curtain skirt (recycle!) and that time she gave birth to a cone of cotton candy at thirty year old prom.
Old Young Lady is immediately bossing her new team around, but Yarn isn’t having it. You know Old Young is an asshole when I’d rather hear fashion input from this chick.
Nice horse. ??
James Pole starts assigning outfits to his team, and the girl who dyes shit with UV dye, Fabric Cancer, says that Tinsley (LOL) didn’t say what she wanted, so “we had to create our own artificial design direction.” Artificial design direction? Come on fabric cancer. Just make her some fug clothes and you’ll win. No one told me how they wanted me to write this recap, so I am going to have to come up with an artificial recap. It’s like a normal recap, but with more cancer causing ingredients.
I did it!
To make sure they’re on the same page, Fabric Cancer asks Captain James T. Pole to give them a couple of adjectives to work off of. His answer? Stealth Fighter. BWAHAHAHAHA.
What is dees?
When you know English, that description is hard enough, but when you’re Wednesday Addam’s from Transylvania, it’s dumbfounding. “So farther? Steel finder? Stella fighter?” Oh man please go with Stella fighter. Bette Midler needs a kick in the ass.
Captain Pole explains it for us, like we’re all idiot cast members on this show and don’t know what a stealth fighter is. According to him, it’s a tiny thin plane that was invented a couple of years ago. Or in the eighties. This cast is priceless.
The plane is this big.
He advises his team to think very hard and soft. He should be hosting this show. Over on Haven’s team, the pitch session is even more awesome. What theme does she want to go with? “ME!” HAHAHAHA. She’s not kidding. The theme will be “Tinsley/Haven”. They’re both vapid blondes, neither shows any discernible talent or ability, and they were both given names out of the Muffin Baby Names Book. What could go wrong?? She wants an eighties, Linda Evans look. YAY SHOULDER PADS! Reco just has one thing to say about her idea.
Time to shop for fabrics. Underwear designer talks about how hard it is to find cheap fabrics, but all I can pay attention to is his forehead. When you botox, you need to make sure that you shoot up in each corner or you’ll look like you have an expand triangle tab on your face.
Drag to resize.
Haven and Eco Witch are having some issues cuz Haven wants to go with ugly pink tulle and Witch wants ugly red tulle.
Battle of the Fug
Haven’s gonna wake up with warts all over her face if she doesn’t watch her temper.
And so it begins.
She tells us that she’s the boss and they all have to do anything she tells them. My daddy owns this town and you’re gonna pay!! It looks like Eco Witch ignored her stupid ass and bought red tulle anyway. Love it. Back at the workroom, Fabric Cancer has decided that she will take Captain Pole’s stealth fighter directions literally and glue gun paper airplanes all over Tinsley. She says it will be edgy and angular. And really, really, hilarious.
Old Young Lady wants to make a jumpsuit with a little jacket cuz it’s “edgy”. There’s that word again. Guess what’s not edgy? The name Tinsley. I think people are glomming on to the wrong adjective. They’d have better luck with “desperate” “cloying” or just plain
And now for a shot of MexiJay, in his long johns and sweat pants, scratching his crack.
Every socialite needs a faint whiff of MexiCrack when she goes out on the town. Keeps her mysterious.
Eco Witch did buy the red tulle, and the surrounding queens try to warn her against it. Gay John Lovitz gets so flustered that his toupee line shows. And it’s really, really, bad.
Haven comes over and tells her she hates the red, and now Eco Witch is surrounded. She waves her fingers around like she’s holding an invisible wand and warns against ganging up on her. Haven literally backs away. HAHAH. Witch tells us, in her insane eye rash makeup, that everyone’s picking on her but they’re not being articulate with their gripes. Could it be THE BRIGHT RED TULLE? She has no idea, cuz all they say is “no not that.”
Who knew pink eye would start a fashion trend in the witch world? Well done, kindergarten disease!
The next day, the designs are starting to come together for everyone but Gay Lovitz, who doesn’t have one thing sewn. Use your toupee glue! It hasn’t let you down yet! Time to meet with the lead stylist. I don’t know if I’d take hair advice from a chick in a Carol Brady mullet, but I suppose they don’t have much of a choice.
Oh, Jan, you’re all pretty.
Isaac and NotB come in to check on progress. They don’t say much at first, but they start with Captain Pole, so what could they say? Not B doesn’t have anything to say about MexiJay’s fug flower skirt, cuz she is dumbfounded by his top.
I think Not B actually already owns that.
Eco Witch tries to bring in her fug tulle again, but Isaac doesn’t have anything to say. What’s the point of Isaac and Not B even coming in if they have zero advice? Wait, I spoke too soon. Not B gives all kinds of attitude when she gets a look at Old Young Lady’s “see through bomber jacket.” She rolls her head and waves her hand around, but Isaac likes it. OldYoung is very offended and hurt.
They hate me when I’m old, they hate me when I’m young. WAAAHHHHH.
Isaac and Not B go out in the hall to gossip, and Not B pronounces Tinsley (LOL) Tinsle-y. Like she’s a really overdone Christmas tree. Actually, not far off. Isaac is worried about MexiJay’s top, but loves the skirt. Since the winner gets “a version” of their dress sold, he will probably choose this one as the winner, and just redesign it and take twenty percent of the net. During commercials, there is a bit about MexiJay having a crush on GayLovitz. EW!!! He says he looks like his boyfriend and he is turned on by his toupee. I look really hard at GayLovitz and try to see it, but all it does is make me crave eggs.
Back from break, the crush is dying as MexiJay tells us that GayLovitz isn’t up to the same level as the rest of the team. He can’t sew for shit, and he isn’t even close to being done. Reco rolls his head and says all that money spent on London college was wasted cuz Gayvitz doesn’t know anything. This coming from the guy who makes sentences like these:
Glovitz says he’s just taking his time cuz he really really respects Tinsley. He doesn’t explain why, and I am sure he’d take about an hour to come up with one reason if you asked him. The models start arriving for fittings and hair, which means it’s time for Merlin to put on his hot pink riding outfit with a fur collar. This outfit would be a hit if it weren’t for one thing.
The purse doesn’t match. Any self respecting horse would throw his ass into a ditch.
Backstage at the show, Gayvitz tries to convince us that everyone is behind. Not just him, k? Out in the audience, there are some pretty important people.
Dang. Swoozie Kurtz guest stars on everything!
The guy sitting next to her already seems very angry, and he hasn’t even seen the clothes yet.
I know they didn’t make me sit with Swoozie Kurtz. That bitch is so over.
Shot of Tinsley (LOL)’s husband!! Something tells me he’s really rich.
She totally married you for your looks.
Team Stella Fighter is up first, and Fabric Cancer’s art gallery dress walks. It’s really pretty, and she got rid of the paper airplanes. It’s probably a bit classy for Tinsley, but it looks great for normal people. The model looks like she’s peeling off a giant dress scab.
Fern Malice thinks it’s too dressy for an art gallery. Merlin’s luncheon dress is next, and it looks like a bright pink robot mess with pockets placed in just the right place in case Tinsley gets a case of jock itch. The hair is a big Winehouse beehive. Cuz ladies who lunch always try to look like one hit wonder crack hos. He thinks it’s “like a Mercedes.”
A Mercedes with an itchy jayjay.
James Pole’s design is next and it’s soooo wrong. The top is a hot pink satin potato sack, and the skirt is a simple waitress skirt that’s cut diagonally with giant hips added. It makes the model look like a heifer, which Tinsley seems to like. She’s also got a Muffin Claw do, so this could go over better than I suspect. He thinks he might have a problem cuz the skirt is “too conceptual” for New York.
Wednesday Addam’s came up with the best work out of the group. She made a simple layered ball gown for the charity event with hot pink trim and chose a simple, sleek hairdo. Tinsley will probs hate it cuz the model doesn’t look desperate to cling to her twenties.
When their collection is done walking, Team Hot Pink Pony hugs and gets all positive and crap. Reco rolls his eyes from across the room and tells us “the little people? I can’t get into their thing.” LOL. Next up is Team Yarn, and Yarn’s work is first to walk. She did the ladies luncheon look. She made a hot shiny grey skirt with horizontal pleats up the front and a semi transparent purple top. Her model looks classy, rich, and not like a gum smacking tween from the eighties, so I don’t think she will win. Still, excellent work, Yarn! The hair is just natural and pulled back, but what do you expect from Yarn? She was wearing a horse shirt.
Underwear is up next with a simple black cocktail dress for the gallery opening. It fits well and has a cute purple ribbon trim on the hem, but the shoulders look like when you had to make your own Indian costume in kindergarten out of paper bags from Skaggs. The hair is Tinsley’s current hair, so she’ll at least like that part. Isaac tells Tinsley he could see her in that, but she’s not convinced. He sounds like the gay mother earth trying to get his addict friend to not leave the house looking like Eddie from AbFab. He’s practically saying “PLEASE just wear a simple black dress and stop looking like an idiot on Page Six, k?”
Old Young Lady put out the sluttiest outfit so far, and I honestly didn’t know she had it in her. It’s a sort of ballet slip with a bustier cut top and the see through bomber jacket. The jacket collar and shoulder work, but the bolero cut looks a little nightgowny. The hair? Is the same hair Old Young Lady wore today. Head slap. The model looks like kind of a whore, but a whore that charges lots of money and will actually go out to dinner with a guy first.
Just throw some jeans on under that and we’ll go to Applebee’s before you tie me to the bed.
The model has a beautiful body and gorge thick hair, but unfortunately has lazer beam eyes that make me feel very uncomfortable.
Unlike most bony models, who make me feel right at home.
That’s just slutty and inappropriate to wear in public enough to win. Kinda Almost Pretty put his blond model in a ball gown that doesn’t fit very well. The idea and fabric choice are solid, but it’s baggy and shows off zero figure. The back is kinda almost perty. Or he just had extra fabric and didn’t have time to cut it off.
Tinsley’s husband looks like he’d rather be getting his back hair lasered off.
Haven’s team is out next, and MexiJay’s tacky chi chi gallery opening dress is out first. YIKES. Gallery opening? Is there a new telenovela titled “Gallery” or something? The skirt looks like piss poor curtain fabric that’s all bunched up and unflattering in the hips, and the red bikini top helps nothing. Wow. This one sucks it HARD.
Her hair is ratty and unkept, and she has rope around her neck. Which will come in very handy during eliminations. Issac expressed interest in this piece back at the workroom, but Tinsley points out that she has safety pins showing. LOL. Hilarious, cuz MexiJay was bitching about Gayvitz’ sewing abilities for the past forty minutes. Just when I think this can’t get worse, we get a profile shot.
Get this girl some Gas-X.
Speaking of Gay John Lovitz, he’s next, and it’s lucky for MexiJay, cuz if anything can take the heat off a baggy badly sewn poorly thought out piece of shit, this can.
Wow. This is horrid. Is any of that even sewn together? I suppose he’s gonna claim he was trying to do a draping look. This is drape rape, and should be stopped. The shoulder pad lining is visible!! To his credit, Gayvitz knows it sucks. So does NotB.
That was so bad it almost blew my weave off.
Haven’s out next, and she just did a simple pink ballgown top with stupid fabric flowers on the belly button. The only thing keeping labia from having the spotlight are the tights. Why is everyone putting their models in black tights? Is that supposed to be artistic, or could the teams find no other way to tie their dreck together? Her hems are messy and uneven, and there’s a zipper on the side that looks like it’s glued on.
And now the moment I’ve been waiting for. Eco Witch’s rock concert wear. Tight dress that doesn’t fit the contours of the model, lace shoulder detailing, and an above the knee tutu. Then they show the back, which is just wrong. This is a seriously untalented cast.
Isaac says “it’s backstage at a rock concert” to which Fern Malice quips “when everybody’s left and they find her under the table.” LOLOLOLLLLL. Reco knows he’s not going home cuz his dress is made well. BWAAHAHAH. Best comedy on TV. Black skirt, porple top, black flowers and a sewn on sash. This girl is waiting to win something, and she’s gonna wear that sash until someone gives it a label.
That was by far the worst. Swoozie Kurtz loved it, Carol Brady Hair loved it and found a way to plug Tresseme, and some rat guy calls team three out on sucking bawls.
And then he dropped a tiny pellet.
The designers wait backstage, and Reco and his teeny tiny hat start telling off Eco Witch for adding the tutu even though they all told her not to. “You did?” LOL Witch. She tells us that she doesn’t understand what Reco’s saying cuz it’s “unarticulated”. That’s like the fifth time she’s said that today, but Reco not being able to grasp the English language doesn’t mean the tutu thing wasn’t articulated. Reco just can’t talk real good like.
We tode youz and youz was all like nuhuh!
Witch insists no one ever told her not to put on the tutu, which is delusional and awesome. Reco’s point (from what I gather) is that her piece didn’t fit with the collection, unlike his fug queen sash. None of that collection went together, and Reco’s work was plain hideous.
Judging time! Haven and James Pole’s teams take a seat, leaving Yarn’s team. They won!! Deservedly. The two standouts were Yarn and Old Young Lady. Yarn should take this one. Fern loves it and can’t believe it was only forty bucks. The whole package worked. Old Young Lady is asked if she thinks her outfit works with the rest, and she says yes cuz it’s angular. Isaac doesn’t fake her out. He liked it. Tinsley says she’d wear it out the door right now. Fern says a jumpsuit with tights aren’t her thing. Thank God. Can you imagine Fern in that thing ? Old Young Lady wins!! That’s gonna make her nice and humble for next week. I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that Tinsley chose the sluttiest outfit. What a predictable ho.
The other two teams are called to the stage. Not surprisingly, James Pole’s team is safe and gets to sit down. Isaac asks Haven to explain herself as team captain. She says 80′s and Linda Evans a lot, but girl that look doesn’t even work on you.
Isaac goes on record as loving Linda Evans but didn’t see her on the runway tonight so suck it. He brings out the worst looks, and they are Eco Witch, MexiJay and Gayvitz. Gayvitz is told his model looks like she was wearing a table cloth with a little belt. Don’t forget the diaper.
He admits that it was a disaster but giggles that he wanted to give Tinsley the world and it made him nervous. Fern says “I wish we liked this more.” Well what a sweet way to put it. She must be a fan of The Critic. She drops the niceties with Witch, telling her that the audience thought her model looked homeless. LOL. Tinsley says that without the hideous mesh in the back and the tulle it would have worked. Was that articulate enough for you, hon? Isaac liked MexiJay’s work upstairs but was mortified by it on the runway. He points out the safety pins and scrunches his face. Not B gets mad and asks “why did you do that?” LOL.
MexiJay says he has two companies and lots of Asian children who sew for him and he’s not used to having to do it himself. Isaac calls cop out, but MexiJay keeps on talking about needing a staff. Isaac says it’s the last time he wants to hear that excuse and the shoddy work is why his team is on the bottom. MexiJay snaps “I didn’t know this was America’s Top Seamstress”. Isaac snaps back “This is called Project Run…The Fashion Show. This is The Fashion Show.” Then MexiJay says to just send him home. BYE!! Poor little hobo clown. I’m sitting here waiting for that flower on his jacket to squirt at Isaac.
Witch smiles like “yes! My earthworm, old lady blood and Riccola concoction worked!” Isaac says he heard him loud and clear, darling. In private time, he says that he needs to be restrained from bitch slapping MexiJay and Fern says he should be sent home for saying that. Is is so wrong that a designer be asked to learn the craft of sewing? Isaac says you can’t just write recipes without knowing how to cook. Unless it’s a cookbook on peanut butter sandwiches, which I plan on releasing in the Fall. Do you know how many types of jelly are out there? Staggering, I tell ya.
They all hate Witch’s work, and no once can say one nice thing about Gayvitz. Isaac asks what’s worse, bad attitude or bad tulle? Question for the ages, mkay? The bottom three are called out. Gayvitz is safe cuz at least he had a vision. He’s so sweaty from nerves that his toupee is slipping.
Why does your forehead look so much smaller?
That’s bullshit, cuz his was by far the worst, and that’s quite a feat in this bag of dodos. Witch is told her look was completely unappealing and the only thing more appalling than MexiJay’s dress was his attitude. In the end, though, Witch is out! Byebye, darlink. AW! Everyone’s gonna wake up bald tomorrow. NotB gets all tudey with MexiJay and tells him to check himself before he wrecks himself. MexiJay apologizes while Witch says that she doesn’t know anything about Tinsley and doesn’t connect with her. Cuz that was the problem. It couldn’t be the tulle, or someone would have warned her against using it, right?