Fashiongasm: 2012 Grammys

Time for the Grammys!  I had an awesome nap during the show, but managed to stay awake for who & wear…

The hair? Oh, my boyfriend and I were just playing around and he stuck my finger in an electric socket.  Relationship’s going great, thanks for asking!

Fell over the edge of glory and currently in mourning over my fifteen minutes.  

Oh clever, they made a dress out of the leftover micro-chips they used for the smile.

Hey y’all! I wore some BLUE IVY on my dress so you’d have something to talk to me about!  Cause I’m friends with Beyonce, you know.  Destiny’s Child? Hey, guys?  I’ve seen the baby.  Happy to talk about it.  Did you see I’ve got BLUE IVY on my dress?

 

Unearthed from Project Runway’s lost episode, The Aluminum Foil Challenge.

Girls just wanna throw on whatever random crap’s floating around on the floor of the closet.

Was kidnapped and and forced to wear this by still venemous Justin Bieber fans.

 Oh, just swung by on my way home from my job at the ad agency. 

 Calvin Klein.  Either he’s drinking again or was just having fun fucking with the Swedish girl.

Does this mullet make me look like a lesbian?

Sorry, but dressing like you’re 12 only makes you look closer to 50.

Whatever new STD she’s got, it’s molting.

My chihuhua, Ryan Seacrest, got into my closet and confused this dress with a chew toy.  He just loves sparkly things.

I haven’t shit in days.

 Lost to Kanye in a poker game.

 

Waiter, I said two olives in that martini.

 

Still clinging to that Smurf moment there, aren’t ya.

 

Please, you thought I was dumping him before the Grammys?

 

Girl, who is telling you these failed art projects are fashion??? 

Uh-oh…someone’s got that ‘just got dumped and now I’m gonna go write a song about it’ look.

On second thought, perhaps it was the ‘I will soon be onstage dressed like a prairie hobo, so FML’  look.

LL!  Lookin’…snuggly? 

 Do these granny panties make me look like less of a whore?

And at last…

Exhale.

See you in a few weeks for the HBIC of award season…the Oscars!

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