Fashiongasm: MTV Movie Awards

Home is where the heart is… right Xtina?

The MTV Movie Awards were everything that I expected. Way too many MTV stars, especially The Jersey Shore cast, but that’s to be expected. We were even given a 10 minute “sneak peek” of their 2nd season premiere. Too cold in Jersey so they head off to Miami. Snookie’s been reduced to using spray-on tan since “Obama put a 10% tax on tanning!” Can I stand to watch more… can you?

One-Hit Wonders?

I really was surprised at how many old people weren’t there. The young & beautiful were out in full force and short dresses were the trend.

Best Dressed:

I loved “The Hills” Stephanie Pratt’s colorful mini. She looked like a butterfly! It was perfect for this event. “iCarly” Miranda Cosgrove’s two-toned red chiffon dress was age appropriate for her. The beige shoes are a bore though & damn her legs are skinny! Zac Efron’s date, Vanessa Hudgens is ready to take him to bed in her lacy little mini. That’s what I like, a girls who’s not afraid to wear pj’s on a date.

Christina Aguilera looked like she was about to perform the Paso Doble’ on “Dancing With the Stars” in this shiny black, layered gown accessorized with chains. She sang her new song, “Bionic”. I wonder how many people are going to say she’s trying to outdo Lady GaGa?

Katy Perry was simply fabulous in her blue Betty Page wig & strategically sequined mini-dress. I loved her bright yellow fingernails. She rocked out to her new song “California Gurls” with Snoop Dogg.

Of course, the big stars ducked the red carpet so they didn’t have to associate with the Jersey Shore crew. Sandra Bullock made her second public appearance in a week, to accept the “Generation Award”. Does that mean she’s old? Why she kissed Scarlett Johansson, I’ll never know. Betty White was standing right there!

Thanks, SCRAM!

I was surprised at how good Lindsey Lohan looked. She wore a crystal-encrusted pantsuit with flared legs, to cover her monitoring ankle bracelet. It must be working. She looks better than the last time I saw her.

Dr. Drew was there to recruit possible celebrities (Lindsey) for his 3rd season of “Celebrity Rehab”. LMAO performed the Red Carpet music & were the “worst dressed” males for the evening. Maybe Dr. Drew snared them.

Someone get these naked men some help.

The men did their best to show up the ladies. Johnny Weir’s twill collar just ruined his outfit. Russell Brand’s crotch looked ready to explode, but designer Christian Siriano looked fabulous!

All three of these girls, actress Anna Kendrick, “DWTS” Julianna Hough & actress Nicola Peltz, look stunning in their different versions of the mini dress. I LOVE their shoes!

Yuk Yuk & Yuk…. Amanda Seyfried needs to stand up straight for one thing & the black lace over beige never looks good. Audrina Patridge’s dress reminds me of that foil paper they wrap my beef sandwich in at Arby’s. Eva Mendes’ designer frock just doesn’t look like it fits. It’s too big & I don’t like blue leopards.

These three are the worst of the worst. Katerina Graham’s huge body-wrapping ruffle dress accessorized with those blue-black shoes & overly huge jewelry makes her #1. Snooki Polizzi looks stuffed into that dress. It makes her look short & squatty, all ass & no body. I don’t even know the rusty metal, over-ruffled bitch on the end, but she needs to get her money back.

Just a few more worth mentioning. Samantha Harris was lookin’ pretty foxy in her shiny satin mini. For an old lady, she was showing those young girls a thing or two. Paris & Nikki Hilton together…. you never see that anymore. Paris had the butler kill a swan just for her dress. I actually like Nikki’s dress, She is much prettier than Paris IMO. They both have bony knees. Scarlett Johansson’s dress had me changing my mind every time I looked at it. From different angles, it looks different. I think in the end, I liked it.

The nerds were well represented by Michael Cera & Jonah Hill.

So I will end with Betty White, who looked very chic in her black evening dress with matching jacket & satin accents. She stole the show when she declared that her “ovaries were recently named national monuments.”

I was surprised at how many outfits I did like. I didn’t see anything that was outrageously awful. It was a pleasure to see. Was there anything you did or didn’t care for?