FlashForward: Jericho Murder US Soldiers

You really CAN find anything online.Two years before the Black-Out. Our fearless Mr. Binford is currently inducting roughly one jillion FBI agents into the program for their first day. What, did this branch not even exist until right now? Demetri and the two (ALLEGED) moles started on the exact same day?

So Mark talks about how this isn’t the most important day for them, because that day will come without warning and they won’t know about it until it happens. Sort of like two weeks ago when we realized our beloved sci-fi show had become Match Game with Bryce and Nicole. And hey, a nice shot of dearly departed Hal over this prophetic monologue. Thanks again for the suicide thing!

Hal has been assigned to be Mark’s partner, but Demetri wants to switch with him. You’re not doing an art project in sixth grade, Demetri, I don’t think it’s that simple. Apparently Demetri already has a huge man-crush on Mark and Hal agrees to switch, because even two years ago he’s the most selfless guy ever. Because Janis is a woman, she has been sent to “analysis.” There’s a lot of laughs and promises never to betray each other or tackle each other in a fountain.

And then two years pass, and now Marcy is being interrogated. Hey, where’s Vogel? And Simon, who now knows of Janis’s treachery? Uh…OK. Demetri demands to know who shot them in Washington, and if they’re still after them, and who killed that Ian guy, and why Bryce and Nicole are so boring, and why 24 got canceled, and who’s going home on Survivor this week, but Marcy says she doesn’t know anything. Well, that’s good enough for me.

Mark drags Demetri outside and reminds him that they need to ask Marcy a million boring procedural questions before they can reveal anything useful, so hows about he go have another exotic and ultimately unhelpful mission and he’ll get boring ol’ Janis to help with needless procedural stuff. Because, remember. Woman. “Analysis.”

So Janis (AAGH! MOLE DRAMA!) grills Marcy and we find out she was recruited three months before the Black-Out, and also that no one ever asked her what her flashforward was and how come she can’t join the club for super awesome main characters? In her flashforward she was in jail, but really excited because until she told them who recruited her, she was important and they respected her and blah blah blah daddy issues. FBI Director calls Mark into the hallway.

Washington wants to bring Marcy in and handle the matter themselves, but Mark wants another day to break her. Except then she’s taken away. So…now FBI Director says to get back on Dyson Frost. But then Demetri says there’s a report that Mark’s gun was just used in a murder! You just never know where we’re going to end up on this show.

So after some scenic shots of urban LA, Mark and Demetri are in a homeless shelter and reviewing the facts. A man came in a three in the morning, a guy on the cot said he knew it would be him, and then he was shot. And there’s this hilarious part where Mark reenacts shooting Demetri, even though that’s totally what’s going to happen in real life. I missed this bromance.

There are a bunch of dead ends, like people alternatively describing the shooter as white and Indian, but then Mark is all like, you know what this episode needs? A last-second dash to the airport!They manage to catch Marcy and quickly ask her about the gun. Demetri makes some great faces.

Marcy says (say it with me) she doesn’t know, but she did here he would die in LA. And then she’s loaded onto the plane. Wow, this must suck for Demetri. I feel a little bit bad about mocking his facial expressions.

So now, because this is suddenly a Disney movie, Dylan and Charlie have each secretly brought there parents to the park so Olivia and Lloyd are forced to meet AGAIN. Heh. Nicely done, writers. Every time I think you can find ANOTHER stereotypical way to give them together time, you surprise me.

There’s some awkward shots of the kids playing, and then the kids bump heads and Charlie is bleeding. And Lloyd is getting her water and letting her squeeze his hand and insert your best “nice guy” action here. Also, Charlie won’t shut up about going to a carnival. To which I say, again? Weren’t you just AT a goddamn carnival? Either this was shown out of order, or Charlie has officially had more fun in 16 episode than I had in my entire childhood.

FBI Director goes to meet that Vice President lady that I vaguely remember being a bitch from like ten episodes ago. She says that the leader of Jericho (storyline connection!) just tripled his personal security and she wants the FBI to quietly look into it, because she thinks that something that Jericho is up to is the reason that the president will go down and she will get promoted to the top spot. FBI Director looks troubled.

He calls Mark out on why he looked into Jericho a few months back, and Mark says it was all innocent; he was just using these valuable and confidential FBI files to help a friend. FBI Director just wants to talk to him.

Mark is reviewing the coroner’s report when Demetri says that LAPD just ended a high speed chase with the car matching the description of the killer from the homeless shelter. Now the guy has taken hostages in the second floor of a building. They hear gunshots and Mark and Demetri get to work building a plan and being awesome.

Mark sneaks around behind the crazy man while Demetri walks right at him. The guy, who makes Nicole’s mom look sane, tells Demetri he only wants to talk to Randy Savage and he’s going to shoot his hostage (a saleswoman) for causing the Black-Out. Demetri keeps him talking (crazy guy blames the Black-Out on cell phones, hence the salespeople being at fault) and gives this monologue about how it’s alright to be scared to die and hilariously tells him “you have made some really bad decisions today.” And then the throws the woman aside and Demetri shoots him. Yay Demetri not getting shot!

Oh, but then it’s not even Mark’s gun. Worst news after commercial break ever. Mark and Demetri get bummed, cause now all they did was save some stupid saleswoman.

So no they have another one of those tender bromantic moments where Demetri says he hasn’t been making good choices since the Black-Out and Mark tells him to just leave with Zoe and avoid his death. Yeah, where have we heard that plan before? TAKE OLIVIA AND RUN TOO, YOU MORON! I don’t want to lose either one of Demetrark.

Two years previously again (remember in season 5 of Lost where they kept randomly skipping around through time? Deja vu.) and Demetri is testifying in court. And hey, it’s Zoe! She’s using some handwritten notes that Demetri took to let some criminal go free. He runs into her in the hallway and she offers to take him to dinner for making him look like a moron, but he refuses and says he would never date her. Aww, they have such a nice story.

Back in the present, Demetri arrives home and reminds her of how fortunate it was that they were both part of that case. And he wants to get married RIGHT NOW! And go to Hawaii! Go Demetri, go!

Olivia goes to Lloyd’s house just to say thanks. REALLY?

He invites her in and of course she accepts. C’mon Olivia, I really liked you! But now I’m thinking Mark belongs with Demetri. Lloyd reminds her that she could have just called and asks what she’s really doing here. And then there’s a DRAMATIC COMMERCIAL.

She’s actually here to talk about how many mistakes she’s made, and you know what a good step would be? LEAVING. Lloyd shares that he used his son’s autism to get away from his failing marriage, and maybe they should just learn to live in the moment and grab good things when they see them. Subtle, Lloyd. They’ve been drinking gin and Lloyd tells her he knows that they’re feeling the same things and then, well, then the future is now.

Fugitive badass Aaron arrives at his depressing motel room to find FBI Director and immediately draws a gun. Who knew you retain so many military skills even after becoming a telephone repairman? FBI Director says there was a library with a computer doing searches on “Jericho murder U.S. soldiers” (LOL) and he just worked his way outward through the cash-only hotels. Aaron fills in the Director on his daughter and says he plans to head to Afghanistan, but FBI Director points out this is suicide. He proposes they work together to rescue Tracy and then take them down.

The gang is at a bar, and Agent Reede (that one guy who’s name we never know) offers to officiate Demetri’s wedding because he’s an internet minister. Fun fact: so am I! Twenty bucks on www.pulc.com (Progressive Universal Life Church. SO legitimate, am I right?). Anyways, Demetri is really drunk and exciting about getting married. Did he and Janis do it? I’m dying here.

FBI Director is going to send Aaron to Afghanistan on some FBI phone thing. And here’s a bunch of surveillance equipment and guns. And there’s a great chance you’re never coming back. Godspeed!

Drunk Demetri asks Janis if running makes him a chicken, but Janis says it’s just smart. Don’t listen to her, she might be a mole! THIS IS KILLING ME! Demetri starts to mention the night in Somalia, and Janis just says she’s pregnant. OH MY GOD! You think maybe Zoe will suspect when the baby comes out half-Vietnamese?

There’s video footage that shows Dyson Frost did murder the homeless guy with Mark’s gun. I’m really loving this crazy supervillain angle.

Demetri is chilling in his house and doing a pretty decent job singing some little tune, when suddenly he gets jumped by Dyson Frost! FRRRROOOOOOOSSSSSTTTTTTT!

Everyone is waiting at the church for Demetri, but he isn’t showing. Zoe is freaking out, and rightly so.

Dyson is in that car that’s been so talked about (so did other crazy guy just happen to have a similar car? Was he working with Dyson at all? I’m confused) and he’s at a carnival. And damnit, there’s Charlie. And Dr. Olivia, who apparently moonlights as a carnie. Seriously, she’s RUNNING a game. WTF?

Mark calls her and she tells him he’s at a carnival (and he doesn’t blink an eye) and he just tells her that Demetri is missing and she should be careful. But now she can’t find Charlie! AND THEN DYSON FROST SITS DOWN NEXT TO HER!

So, 1.) Did I just completely miss the part of this episode where they explained Olivia’s secret passion for carnie work? and 2.) What’s Frost’s end game? amd 3.) Olivia: love her or hate her?