Last night, VH1 premiered the latest installment of its hilarious albeit somewhat staged skankfest, Flavor of Love 2. The episode was a bit on the long side (ninety minutes to be exact), and while we love how this show brings out all of our inner Mo’Niques, we didn’t really have the time to do a full recap. That being said, we’ve taken a few screen shots that will hopefully give you a sense of what this romantic quest is all about…
The girls eagerly await the arrival of Flavor Flav. On your marks, get set, SKANK!
In a completely unscripted scene, Flav tells VH1 execs, “No more gold diggers!” That’s right! Less ambition, more genital herpes!
The girls all enter the house for the first time. It’s what I like to call The Parade of the Clap.
“Yay! We’re white and in the same proximity!”
Uh oh! Some woman stole the bed! And she’s black!
Time for a fight! A completely unplanned, unexpected fight featuring totally natural dialogue!
Anyone else feel like they’re watching a long lost Ingmar Bergman film?
The blonde girl, an astrology buff, tries to diffuse the situation by quietly saying, “Hey guys, it’s totally not worth it.” Shut up, bitch. It’s TOTALLY worth it!
“Get off my weave, bitch! Get off my weave!”
“KISS MY ASS!!! KISS MY GODDAMN ASS!!!”
Luckily, Flav regulates. There shall be no skank-on-skank violence!
Later, a little boy with long hair gets wasted. It’s like the Mickey Mouse Club Disney never wanted you to see.
Don’t know who this woman is yet, but she talks like she’s black and looks goofy. I want to hate her, and yet, I love her deeply.
Upstairs, the fighting bitches try to plead their cases. This woman actually defends herself by saying she offered up some lip chap as a peace offering. Unfortunately, “lip chap” is her way of saying “bitch slapping.”
Flav’s not down with the violence. We have our first skankjection.
The naming ceremony begins. As you can see, it’s a classy affair.
If Shirley and Rerun had a love child…
It’s love, man. Goofy, goofy love.
This woman is named “Buckwild.” For whatever reason, I feel like she’s a ghetto version of Kristie Alley.
Turns out Eyez (left) is a spy for Flavor Flav. She gets her info by standing around awkwardly and nodding her head.
At the cocktail party that night, Like Dat tries to gain Flav’s attention with her plunging decolletage. Amazingly, her chest is only half the size of Rerun’s.
“I put my makeup on like a crazy person!”
Controversy brews when Spunkeey accuses Somethin’ of being a lesbian. Yeah, but who’s wearing the jeans and flannel, Ms. Thang?
“I am not a lesbian, and I have the deodorant ring to prove it!”
Star Jones: the College Years.
Eyez delivers a shocking report to Flav about the women: they’re all skanks!
Finally, three hours later, the eliminations begin.
Hey, who invited the drag queen?
Spunkeey gets the last clock, which means Bama, Hood, Chocolate, H-Town and a few other generic girls get the boot.
Hey, why is Somethin’ looking so shifty back there?
And where’s Somethin’ headin’ off to now?
And what’s that smell?
Oh, of course! Somethin’ shat on the floor! Duh!
Smells like romance!
What did you think about this episode?