Monique tries to teach the girls the joy of giving to others and challenges them to donate their skanky digs to Out of The Closet, a thrift store that benefits AIDS research. Unfortunately for some of the girls the store doesn’t have a stripper section where they can resell beaded thongs or other used undergarments. These girls have a lot to learn. Thank God for Charm School!
“I’m the ugliest bitch! No, I am!”
Who is retarded enough to try to resell her underwear? You guessed it, our own little private dancer; Leilene. Both she and her partner in skank, Brooke, verbally confirm with the employees of Out of The Closet that they can’t resell anything that has “been worn on a boob or vagina.”
I Wonder Why They Don’t Want My Crotchless Panties?
The pair who gets the most for their clothes wins the challenge and goes on a shopping spree. Leilene is quite concerned that she and Brooke won’t win the task, what with their strict “no skivvies” policy, so she tries to donate two cheap ass rings that were once owned by her dead mother. These lovely trinkets are the only thing left she has from her mother but she is willing to sell them if it will help the team. Leilene sells her mother’s memory for $90 and says that she “Knows mom would be proud.” I’m sure she is, sweetie.
Lap Dance: $20. Two Ugly Rings: $90. Selling Your Soul To Win This Week’s Challenge: Priceless.
Darra and Schaatar pair up and it’s a shame the girls aren’t selling their shit to “Layne Bryant” or Darra would automatically win the challenge. I couldn’t wait for Schaatar to bring out her “Couture” outfits and see what Out of The Closet would pay for them. The dude in charge of buying the merchandise from the ladies declines on all of Schaatar’s “couture” because #1 It ain’t Couture when you buy it from “Ross Dress for Less” and #2 It all smells like BO! Sweet! I know the girls have been complaining that Schaatar smells but I thought they were being Catty. Turns out Schaatar smells so bad that it permeates her nasty ball gowns. All of her crappy dresses should be tossed into the BO infected car from Seinfeld and lit on fire! Or used to torture terrorists in “24″….
Is That Horrible Smell Emanating From My Ginormous Tits?
Saaphyri and Becky pair up and both bring their entire wardrobe to donate. When Mr. Out of The Closet denies almost all of Saaphyri’s crappy clothes she has a mental breakdown and goes totally ape shit. She throws an awesome temper tantrum in the middle of the store cursing him out and crying hysterically. Does her partner Buckwild run to her side and comfort her! Hell, no! She just goes about her business and tries to sell her FUBU Mr. Out of The Closet. Saaphyri literally transforms into a 2 year old and in hysterics blows her nose into a shirt hanging in the store.
This Is What We Use To Blow Our Noses With In Crenshaw.
Saaphyri pulls it together when she remembers that the challenge is a team effort and stops her tantrum. As a final attempt to win she hands over her Ugg Boots for a mere $20. I actually feel her pain here. Those F*$@ing boots are expensive! But it hurts so good that more no five minutes after she sells the boots a random customer from the street walks in and buys them going, “I got these for only $20! What a deal!” A direct kick in the crotch for Saaphyri.
In the end, Larrisa and Shay sell several of their name brand items and would have been declared the winners of the task if Leilene hadn’t sold her mother’s rings making her and Brooke the winners. Pissed as hell Larrisa goes into evil mode and plants Leilene’s family photos under Schaatar’s mattress to frame her and have her eliminated.
Go Ahead And See What Happens When I’m Mad.
The set up works and Schaatar doesn’t even act shocked when discovers she’s been framed! Hello!? Has the dye from your weave leaked into your scull or do you just not care anymore? Monique never actually finds out the truth and expels Schaatar and her partner Darra for the picture thing and also because they really failed the challenge. I can only pray that Monique finds out that Larrisa was behind the whole thing and we can see the Larissa/Monique slam fest we’ve all been waiting for.