Food Truck Race–Mile High Credit!

Hello!  So, last week we said good-bye to Devilicous and although they seemed like very nice people, my spell check thanks them for their early exit.  Moving on!  This week our remaining six trucks are heading to Denver.  The remaining trucks are:  Korilla BBQ, The Lime Truck, Hodge Podge, Roxy’s Grilled Cheese, Seabirds and Café Con Leche.  As the teams make their way to Denver, they all start talking strategy and what to expect from the mile high city.  The Lime Truck is certain it will be busier than Salt Lake City (unless people in Denver all shop for furniture on the same day) and Roxy’s wants to fix the problems they had in the last city.  They could not make sandwiches quickly enough to serve the demand, so they decide to pre-make sandwiches for faster turnover.

Been there, done that

We’ll see how that works out.  Café Con Leche wants to partner up with Cuba Cuba Restaurant, which is a wildly popular (and rare) Cuban restaurant in Denver.  For some reason Maria from team Café wants to do a carnival.  With scary carnies and rickety rides?  Korilla is calling Denver’s most popular restaurant, Steuben’s, to see if they can partner up with them.  The owner of Steuben’s is apparently from New York City and all 400 people who live in NYC, tend to stick together.  LOL…good for them.  Hodge Podge is also planning on calling their colleagues and this just in:  Chris from Hodge Podge will continue to be a jerk.  But it is our lovely Seabirds who are the most confused by this new city.  First of all, did you know they were Vegans?  They’re driving into Denver, wondering why they’re driving in mountains and worried that there are no Vegans (or even vegetarians in Denver) and that they’ll have to hunt for meat.  WTH?  Everything about that entire scene with them was just bewildering and disturbing.  I’ve grown to like Seabirds but they can be pretty dense.

Why are there tall masses of earth on the side of the road?

Tyler greets the teams and tells them they’ll talk about Denver and seed money later.  He continues on saying last year, food trucks were new and exciting but this year they are at a whole new level.  He introduces their guest, who is Robin Roberts from Good Morning America, which is a show I do not watch, so I had no idea who this woman was.

But this goofball apparently does.  Simmer down, stalker

Robin hosts GMA, which is seen by 5 million people and she is there for them.  This is this week’s Truck Stop:  each team will forage for fresh mushrooms and then create a dish, spotlighting their fresh mushrooms.  Korilla is scared and Seabirds is happy.  Tyler tells them since their pantries are bare, they can use their mushrooms and a box of fresh ingredients from the magic trunk store!

I really hope he hasn’t had this stuff since SLC

He gives the trucks 50 minutes to find mushrooms in the woods and prepare their dish.  A great local chef will judge their dishes and Robin will tell them their prize.  So, they start hiking and Robin follows them around while they’re mushroom hunting and she must smoke a pack of non-filtered Luckys a day, the way she’s already breathing heavy.  Oh, I forgot—there are mountains here!  That  explains the predator breathing.  Seabirds are telling us they thought this would be easier for them because they’re…I bet you can guess….VEGANS!  So what?  I like fish—doesn’t mean I can catch it.  The teams find mushrooms easily enough and I’d be scared to death I would pick a poisonous one, but they are the experts!  And I’m pretty sure the Food Network wouldn’t let a local Denver chef die.  Maybe a regular chef from Bravo, but not Denver.  So, now all the trucks are cooking.  Tyler introduces the guest judge, Frank Bonnano—local chef and he looks absolutely thrilled to be there.

I rescheduled a root canal for this?

Our friend Robin from GMA has to leave without even tasting the food, but she does announce the prize.  The winning truck gets an exclusive interview on GMA.  The Lime Truck is thrilled about this.

He realizes he’s already on TV, right?

But  as we’ll see—this is a pretty good prize for the winner.  Roxy’s is up first and it looks good, but scary drum music starts playing and Frank tells them he didn’t get a lot of mushroom.  The Lime Truck is next and Tyler shows a rare second of a humorous personality when he calls them Bjorn Borg.  HAHA, Tyler you crazy cat.  There is NOTHING funnier than 80’s sweatband humor!  Frank the happy chef likes it but didn’t care for the truffle oil.  Hodge Podge is next and Chef Chris is all, “What’s up, chef?”

Yeah, Chris is a tool.  We know.  Root canal is sounding pretty good, isn’t it?

Chris spends about 50 minutes explaining his two dishes and Chef Frank is like, “Meh”.  Café Con Leche did a Cuban sandwich and Chef Frank has a fever and the only prescription is more mushroom!  He liked the Seabirds’ dish, but it lacked salt.

Is salt a meat?  We’re VEEEEEEEGANS…

Korilla did a lovely mushroom soup with scallops but SLAM!  Scallops were not necessary.  Just in time, the Seabirds tell us they should really win this and you’ll never guess why.  But using a non-meat main ingredient is not the recipe for success they thought it was and The Lime Truck takes the win!  They get to do the interview with the ABC affiliate which will be a pretty good marketing tool—letting people know they’re there (and the TV cameras, natch) and that is a pretty good prize.  After all that excitement wears down, Tyler informs the teams their seed money is zero.  Nada.  Nothing.  The Lime Truck gets $200.00, so everyone else has to “beg, borrow, but don’t steal!”  And of course, since that is not difficult enough—keep your phones on for an upcoming speed bump.

Keep the phone on?  Are we paying for the minutes?

The Lime Truck immediately calls for their interview.  Hodge Podge calls The Lime Truck to see if they can hook up with them.  Hodge Podge can focus on locations and hook ups with locals and The Lime Truck can do the marketing.  Smart move.  One of the girls from Hodge Podge says they can no longer call them “The Slime Truck”.  Oh, gosh, please don’t stop that hilarious name calling!  It is so original!

The Seabirds find a Vegan shop (ice cream place) and go in and ask for money.  Once again, I’m sure that exposure on TV has a lot to do with the girl behind the counter immediately saying yes.  She probably just works there after school and is getting a big kick about being on TV and cleaning out the owner’s cash register.  Now, that would be hilarious.  “Vegan America’s Most Wanted”.

Lock your doors.  She’ll steal you blind.  Except for your lunch meat, of course.

Meanwhile The Lime Truck is doing their interview.

So that’s what happened to Ellen Barkin!

Café Con Leche is meeting up with Cuba Cuba and they also buy on credit.  Once The Lime Truck is finished with their interview, they spend a lot of time shopping.  Korilla meets up with a chef from Steuben’s and gets their stuff going right away.  They have a line already and their food is looking awesome.  Hodge Podge is at the location they set up for both them and The Lime Truck in exchange for the publicity.  And they’re already selling like crazy.  You know who is not?  Yep, The Lime Truck.  They spent so much time at the interview, talking about their favorite movie “Sea of Love” and shopping with actual money, they are way behind getting set up to feed the crowd that came (partially) to buy from them.  In fact, some random customer gets interviewed saying she came for The Lime Truck, but decided to go with Hodge Podge since they were already serving.  Wow, hungry much?  But that worked out well for Hodge Podge.

I’m second choice!  I’m second choice!

With 32 hours remaining, it is apparent The Lime Truck is still way behind the other (selling) teams which Tyler describes as a “recipe for disaster”.  Oh, you master of the wit.  The Lime Truck finally opens and they decide to jack up their prices to help bridge the selling gap with their delay.  It doesn’t seem to deter the crowds.

We will pay whatever you ask!  We hate “The Today Show”!

Well, I spoke too soon (certainly not the first time), because Café Con Leche is also raising the prices.  They feel that since Cuban food is so rare in this area, people will pay more.  But that is actually not the case for them.  And people who don’t have enough cash are walking away.  Rut-Roh.  Roxy’s Grilled Cheese is at Washington Park where an event called “Furry Scurry” is taking place and they have a great crowd and have found their rhythm.  Seabirds have found a craft fair which looks to be geared more toward their kind of customer.

Kind of the anti-furry scurry

Even though their location seems ideal, the girls are moving so slow on prep and people have been waiting for so long, they’re actually asking for refunds.  Trouble looms for our Cuban friends as they receive their invoice for the food they bought with an IOU and it is higher than anticipated.  They planned on spending $300.00 and the invoice was for $383.00.  And they haven’t even started selling for the second day, which I’m sure would mean new and now, cheaper ingredients.  The next day Seabirds are going shopping because they want some new menu items.

Wow, this looks complicated and hard to prep.  Let’s get it!

Korilla decides to go to the same location but Café Con Leche has already tapped their cheap ass crowd so they head to a brewery that doesn’t serve food.  Roxy’s goes back to Washington Park as does Hodge Podge.  Wait, they weren’t there yesterday!  Well, it seems they know Roxy’s did really well there the previous day and that’s why they’re muscling in on them.  Now, I want more details.  How did they know?  Are the teams getting together at night?  Wouldn’t you be interested in that interaction???    Are they hanging out with Tyler drinking shots and yucking it up over cooking clichés/jokes?  With this latest development, Roxy’s is a little ticked off, but then they really get mad when The Lime Truck pulls up.  They decide to wait and see what how the other two trucks price their stuff before they put their menu boards out.

Speed Bump time!  We find Tyler sitting with NFL Hall of Fame Quarterback, John Elway at Elway’s restaurant.  Tyler kisses a little butt saying how much he loves this restaurant and as we can tell by the huge crowd—who doesn’t love this restaurant??!!!

I had to wait seconds to be seated.

Kidding!  I know (hope) the place was closed during filming.  So Tyler calls all the teams and John Elwood delivers the news.  Each team has to pick a quarterback.  Basically, one person runs the truck and the other two teammates have to “sit on the bench”.  Seabirds:  “That’s not how football works”.  LOL…so true.  All of the teams pick the person to run the truck and shocker of all shocks, Chris from Hodge Podge feels it necessary to explain why it is him.  “I run the show and I am THE MAN!”.

You are the man.  (who never comes in first place)

Roxy’s is falling out of rhythm but everyone else seems to have a good handle on thing.  The Lime Truck is actually strategizing, gathering group orders so they can fill them easier.  Hey!  Let’s check in with the Seabirds who had trouble opening up their truck with three people.

Snail’s pace.  WAIT!  That’s not vegan!

Korilla decides to move to the non-food selling brewery where Café Con Leche is because “drunk people are hungry and drunk people buy Korilla”.  I like his honesty.

Eat our food and then you can vomit

Roxy’s is also on the move and they’re so impatient, they almost hit one of the Hodge Podge girls with the truck.  They show up at the exact same brewery as Korilla and Café Con Leche.  Anybody else think the brewery might want to start thinking about serving food?  Poor Maria from Café Con Leche starts crying that she doesn’t want to go home.

Who else is going to overcharge for Cuban sandwiches?

Everyone is now closing up shop and Seabirds are making a last ditch effort with nine minutes left yelling out, “Half Priced Food!”.  Some guy jogging up tells them he wants a water.  They offer him some cold watermelon for a couple of bucks, but he says he doesn’t have any money.  What is up with this town?  Did he think they’d just give him some water for free?  I mean sure—hundreds of dollars in ingredients, but water???  No way!

Hey, guy.  New invention:  It is called a water bottle.  You should try it.

Elimination time!  The Seabirds worriedly tell us that every other team seems confident.  And when Tyler tells them the combined 6 teams made over $30,000.00, they know they’re screwed.  They know they didn’t make $5000.00.  So…first place:  The Lime Truck at $6919.00.  Second place:  Korilla at $6831.00 (anyone else think there is no way these two trucks won’t be the final two???).  Third place is Hodge Podge at $6118.00 and 4^th place with $5316.00 is Roxy’s.  The bottom two are Café Con Leche and Seabirds.  If either of these teams were really good at math, wouldn’t they know immediately where they fell?  The difference is $87.00 and the team that is safe is…Seabirds!  They lagged too much and had to give refunds, but Café Con Leche paid too much for ingredients.  The dude from Café Con Leche kind of chimes in about the expensive ingredients, but wasn’t that only $83.00 over what they planned?  So, they still would have lost.  Right???

Tyler tells the team the next stop is Manhattan.  Korilla immediately (and stupidly) gets excited thinking it is that Manhattan like Tyler is going to have them drive from Denver to NYC in the 4^th week, so he clarifies that the location is Manhattan, Kansas.

What’s a Kansas?

So, that’s it for this week.  Am I too hard on Chris from Hodge Podge?  I don’t really think so, since in the little footage we actually see of him, he seems to be a real jerk to his teammates.  We’re down to five teams, so hopefully we can get some more insight to the teams and the drama behind them.  And if they’re doing shots with Tyler at night.

Thanks for joining me!