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The second season of The Great Food Truck Race starts Sunday, August 14th 10pm/9C on the Food Network and I can’t wait! Tyler Florence is the host and last year’s premiere season was pretty darned fun. Let’s do a quick intro of the 8 competing trucks.
Café Con Leche from LA. The bio says they serve “late-night authentic Cuban food” which is good because it is dark and you can’t see their stupid hats. But for the lunch crowd, if you want to buy food from clothing, I recommend the cute little glove from Hamburger Helper. You know why it is a glove right? To wipe the vomit off your chin. This group also calls themselves “boisterous”, which not-so-loosely translated means “loud and annoying”.
Devilicious from San Diego. Unless it involves chocolate cake, I’m not buying. Unemployed best friends and a fiancé serving up fried mac & cheese balls with bacon? Okay, you win. Poor people make the best food! Wait, is that a bed in the back of that truck? And all your clothes?
Hodge Podge from Cleveland, OH. Owner Chris says he has a “magnetic personality”. Which has nothing to do with your cooking skills, unless your food tastes like metal. And your kitchen/truck help? Put a shower cap on or something before people start coughing up Amish girl hairballs.
Korilla BBQ from NYC. A group of young men grilling meat out of a truck? It is called tailgating and it is about time someone honored fat, sweaty drunk guys.
Roxy’s Grilled Cheese from Boston. Never before has Velveeta seemed so intimidating. Please tell me there is more in that truck than a Foreman grill and a case of Axe.
Seabirds out of Costa Mesa, CA are serving vegan crap. Unless you can find a way to make it unhealthy and greasy, why don’t you go fly into a plane and quit wasting our time? And no, a Wonderbra does not make you a Wonderchef.
Sky’s Gourmet Tacos from LA. My dream of delivery by Taco Bell may be coming to fruition. That guy on the left looks absolutely confused and a little sad about why he’s being photographed in front of a pink truck that smells like refried beans.
The Lime Truck from Irvine, CA. These goofballs call themselves “foodies”. Sigh. Their menu obviously contains leftovers like “throwing people under the bus” and “not here to make friends”. Since when do t-shirts make guys look pregnant? If they do nothing but serve tequila shots, they may win this thing and be able to afford headbands for everyone.
So join me after the 14th!