Giada Watch 2005

33 Comments

1. 1
   Jess
   Posted September 7, 2005 at 5:58 am

   I can’t stand Enormo’s penchant for pronouncing every damn Italian word with a sing-song Italian accent. Spaghetti? “Spa-GAY-tay….” No, bitch, it’s “spuh-geddy”!!!

2. 2
   stevo
   Posted September 7, 2005 at 9:44 am

   The woman only has two adjectives in her vocabulary: Creamy & Crunchy.

   Buy a thesaurus bitch!

3. 3
   dredge
   Posted September 7, 2005 at 9:46 am

   I have been waiting for someone to take on this show…I watched it from the beginning and always thought it should be called Everyday O.C.D..The amount of time and care the camera takes to show her washing and drying her hands after every step of the cooking process is fascinating.

4. 4
   EdHill
   Posted September 7, 2005 at 9:52 am

   I’m with you Jess. It makes me laugh how she will talk really normal, and then all of a sudden go into her super mega ethnic pronunciation mode for one word, and then immediatly back to normal talk.

5. 5
   British
   Posted September 7, 2005 at 10:17 am

   Jess: like how the mayor pronounces spaghetti in Tom Goes to the Mayor?

6. 6
   TACU2
   Posted September 7, 2005 at 11:39 am

   She is truly a scary, big headed beast. I think I will be her for Halloween this year. Anyone have a hot air baloon that I can use for her head?

7. 7
   HicksPub
   Posted September 7, 2005 at 1:11 pm

   I don’t know what’s more disturbing…her freakishly enormous melon or your enduring, shameless lust for her.

   Either way, it gives me the heebie-jeebies.

8. 8
   nameless one
   Posted September 7, 2005 at 1:21 pm

   She has a five head but, damn she got a nice rack. Does anyone know if she is related to dino delaurentis the producer?

9. 9
   anonymous
   Posted September 7, 2005 at 1:36 pm

   Yeah, my husband likes to comment on her rack all the time!!

10. 10
    B-Side
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 1:48 pm

    She’s his granddaughter.

11. 11
    dredge
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 1:56 pm

    she’s the Susan Lucci of food.

12. 12
    jindun
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 2:14 pm

    I love this show. I always thought I was fu**ed up for thinking she has a big head, but never mind.

13. 13
    Sarah
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 3:58 pm

    I like that her show is filmed as if it is a documentary.
    The lighting and camera work and the cha-cha-cha! of the score while she is shopping or working is all PBS’ed out.

    I’ll tell you though, if the Food network ever put Rachel Ray and her “I get ALL of this CUTE stuff at TARGET! Wow! Yay!” show after this one, it might send a few of the weaker health’d among us to go into cardiac arrest from the rapid shift in gear.

14. 14
    B-Side
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 4:23 pm

    Sarah — luckily the Barefoot Contessa always soothes us into the rest of the afternoon with her WASPy take on Hamptons dining.

15. 15
    IHeartGiada
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 4:47 pm

    OK, I love Giada as much as the next guy, but I totally agree with Stevo: she needs a thesaurus.
    However, her show would be an excellent introduction to someone who has never before eaten. On her most recent re-run from where I live, she described the following: carrots are “sweet”; beef is “meaty”; and cream is “creamy”.

16. 16
    dredge
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 5:37 pm

    LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

17. 17
    dredge
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 5:42 pm

    Giada loves to use the qualifier so..
    as in..”soooo sweet…soooo meaty”..or..”I love rrrri-SOT-to. it’s sooooo creamy”.

18. 18
    cary
    Posted September 7, 2005 at 8:45 pm

    This is so hilarious! For a long time I have always thought that this woman had a ridiculously large head when I happened to catch her show.
    All of you are sooooo funny!

19. 19
    EdHill
    Posted September 8, 2005 at 6:52 am

    THis show has the best money shots wehn she finally tastes her food. I swear one of these days when she tastes something she likes shes just gonna whip out her vibrator and go to town. She’s almost there.

    Sarah, that Racel Ray comment was hilarious. She fascinates me more than Giada. Its literaly like watching an insane person cook for you. And she has the body of a 13 year old girl. And her outfits are not flattering. AND that Joker mouth. Oh god I could go on all day.

20. 20
    dogooder
    Posted September 8, 2005 at 12:39 pm

    This chat has been the funniest so far – I must say that no one has commented on the fact that all of her food looks nasty. Incredible unedible.

21. 21
    jackie
    Posted September 8, 2005 at 9:05 pm

    next time you all see her on tv look at her hands. she looks like a hobbit from lord of the rings

22. 22
    SADDIE1222
    Posted September 12, 2005 at 6:02 pm

    I can’t stand Emeril Lagassi. He say the same thing on EVERY EPISODES. “call your cable netword and demand for smellavision” “Oh yeah babd” I find that one truly insulting. Don’t call people babe if you don’t personally know them. And the way he constantly rubs his hands together when he speaks gives me the creeps. Anytime he wants the audience to applause, he just adds a ton of garlic. Also, his presentation sucks. Why can he just leave the food plate clean instead of sprinkling “essence” or whatever all over it?
    Rachael Ray annoys me with her evoo then say extra virgin olive oil after that every single time. Say one or the other but don’t keep on saying both. And her constant giggling at nothing! What the hell is so funny?

23. 23
    saddie1222
    Posted September 12, 2005 at 6:04 pm

    I mean to quote “Oh yeah Babe”

24. 24
    Matt
    Posted September 17, 2005 at 2:48 pm

    Please….please….pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaassssse….post more Food Network recaps. I love hearing what people have to say about how psychotic Rachel Ray is and how huge Giada’s cranium really is. It would totally be awesome if you’d write about Paula Dean. She’s another one of my Food Network favorites.

25. 25
    Matt H
    Posted September 22, 2005 at 12:19 pm

    Rachel Ray is a flat chested bitch. My girlfriend went to a book signing, and RR was crabby (read: hungover) the whole time. Her show would’ve been good for a three season run, but now she’s just out of stuff to make. Who the hell makes a pub food meal? An alcoholic flat-chested bitch, that’s who.

    Sandra Lee is a goddess. I would gladly suckle her teats any time.

26. 26
    Matt H's girlfriend
    Posted September 22, 2005 at 12:28 pm

    You can suckle her teats and die a horrible semi-homeade death. Incorporate THAT into your damn tablescape, Sandra.

    P.S. Giada looks like a lollipop. A horrible unsavory lollipop with overemphasized cleavage and a maniacal smile.

27. 27
    Matt H is a sexy single bachelor, with no girlfriend; let me emphasize- NO GIRLFRIEND
    Posted September 22, 2005 at 12:40 pm

    You know what? I will suckle her damn teats. At least they’re not withered and dried up, like a slug in a salt mine. She and I will make a sex tablescape, and we’ll have rough, uninhibited sex all over it. Suck on that.

    P.S. Bobby Flay is a lame-ass, arrogant, sexist jerk. His show sucks, and he sucks.

    P.P.S. American Iron Chef is a disgrace.

28. 28
    Matt H most CERTAINLY has a girlfriend, and I will manipulat him into marrying me. It's inevitable.
    Posted September 22, 2005 at 12:49 pm

    Bobby Flay is a sexy grilling man with a puffy face that makes him look like he just fought a losing battle with a gang of wasps. I would bed him while you were forced to watch, horrified. Then he would slap me across the ass with his spatula and tell me to “go chop something, sweetass,” thus dismissing me.

29. 29
    Ignore the psycho bitch who preofesses to be Matt H's girlfriend- she has ovarian cancer and is heav
    Posted September 22, 2005 at 12:52 pm

    Bobby Flay is my bitch. I grab the sides of his bat-like face while he fellates me. Then I call him “Sugar Lips” and make him toss my salad. Both of my salads. You on the other hand, are a cunt.

30. 30
    Matt H and I are already married in the eyes of God. He has a tiny wang.
    Posted September 22, 2005 at 1:04 pm

    You don’t have two salads. If you had two salads, you would have already shoved them into your big fat face. Then Paula Dean would pour piping hot butter down your throat, and Barefoot Contessa would take a shit on your chin – your nonexistent, homosexual chin.

31. 31
    You are a stupid fucking bitch and your cunt is old and moldy
    Posted September 22, 2005 at 1:19 pm

    Paula Dean gave me a rim job yesterday after she took her teeth out. Then she gave one to Barefoot while I throat-fucked her. Unfortunately Barefoot’s half-gay husband came home, and I had to strangle him to death with that stupid sweater that he always wears around his neck. Then Alton and I played hide the pepperoni stick. You know what that’s like, because you’re such a slut.

32. 32
    Matt H I love you, where did we go wrong?
    Posted September 22, 2005 at 1:35 pm

    You don’t really want to play Hide the Salami with Alton, do you? He’s too busy shopping at the Kroger in Alpharetta to play wacky cured meat games. Why won’t you hide any salami in me? I think we know I’ve got more than enough space for it. And Barefoot’s too busy wearing popped-collars and manipulating random people into coming over for dinner. You have no respect for other people’s commitments – which is why I have no respect for our commitment. I am going to go back to having sex with my coworkers. They’re not always “accidently” slipping it into my ass either, like true gentlemen.

33. 33
    glittorgirl
    Posted September 22, 2005 at 2:54 pm

    Yeah, insult someone and then expect them to invite you on their show…sure! You must be the biggest jerk in the world if you’re making fun of someone you love! Who the hell does that!?!